>>17131889
i say u r a moran. dat girls are the best! i gave my gf dnp so she could lose weight and boy do i regret it.

>>17131889
>How am I an asshole?
Well you left someone because of conflicting standards and preferences of appearances, to start. Your standards of attraction clearly didn't match her standards of attraction, which means you must be the superficial asshole who can't be attracted to someone despite their physical flaws and disparities.
You have standards that you adhere to, and she didn't match that, and you look like an asshole for not accepting her regardless of her physical appearance, because she believes you should appreciate her no matter what she looks life. So sad. Not a complex issue.

Assuming this isn't bait: you're not in the wrong for not finding her attractive, but you certainly didn't handle this like a mature adult.

>>17131889
Fuck these comments. Mate you did the right thing.
Being overweight is a clear sign of low IQ, laziness and not to mention how unhealthy it is.
If you don't like fat chicks I would probably mention it before you start dating, subtly though.
But good job anon dating a woman who doesn't care about her appearance is a big no no!

>>17131903
Sould he date her for longer and then "fall out of love" instead? What is the mature way to handle this? if you don't find her attractive any more give her the boot. Especially if you fall out of attraction due to their own shitty eating habits that is entirely within their own control.

>>17131902
How do I properly address this then?? I tried bringing it up with her but I then got the >>17131902 answer of "you should accept me for who I am" crap.

I KNOW that physical attraction isnt the only thing in dating but for godsakes its the reason why girls get approached in the first place.

>>17131921
So did she decide that she was just gonna keep being a fat slob and told you to deal with it? Yeah, there's no reason to waste your time on someone who isn't making an effort to improve themselves

>>17131902
>>17131903

nonsense, if i start dating someone and then immediately quit my job or gain a bunch of weight or stop showering or start dressing like a slob it means that i was only doing that to attract someone not for myself and that is a hugh red flag. girl was running a con game and her mark bailed before he got stuck.

>>17131889
If you didn't confront her about her weight first, then yeah you're an asshole. If you did and she refuses to lose weight and fail to work with you, you're well within bounds to leave.

>>17131889
ROFL

>>17131921
>>"you should accept me for who I am"
Have a listen, cunt.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1WNHYgK1zc3

>>17131921
All you have to say is that you're attracted to people who respect their body because you admire the amount of discipline it takes. You're stealth calling her a whale, but you're making it clear you have an issue with both her appearance and her lack of discipline. "accepting her for her" is no longer a valid rebuttal to your feelings because "her" is someone who treats their body like shit which is not a personality trait you like in a person.

Did you tell her she's fat first?

I would do that then break up.

Good luck finding a new girlfriend, might be challenging

>>17131889
>Girl inflates like a balloon
You were right to leave.

>>17131889
odd thread awful responses

who called you an asshole? the gf bc you broke up with her? she's embarrassed and mad and grasping at reasons that its not her fault. what were you expecting and who cares she's out of your life now right?

i doubt she seriously expected you to not notice, assuming of course this was a real major gain in weight. don't have anything to go off of. before and after pic would make it a lot easier to objectively answer how (un)reasonable you are being.

judging from your post, there is a right way and a wrong way to explain that you have
>no physical attraction
to her anymore. you might be an asshole just in how you handled breaking it to her. or something.

all in all. who fucking cares OP? she got fat. you didn't want her. now you don't have her. her feelings are hurt so she lashes out and tries to make it about something beyond her being a fat cow...

why care?

>>17131889
If you did not bring up the weight gain while it was happening, then yes, you are an asshole.

>>17131889
She was waiting until she found someone that she thought cared about her. She figured once she snagged someone she'd be able to overeat eat again.

How much did she balloon up in months?

>>17133148
OP cares because he's an autist, he can't help it.

>>17131889

>White Western women: nope nope nope

Remember this

>>17133773
What women are better then?

>>17131913
>Being overweight is a clear sign of low IQ, laziness and not to mention how unhealthy it is.

/thread

>>17131889
It sounds like you didn't really care for her, anyway and only knew her superficially. If you did care for her, you'd probably have asked her what was making her gain weight so quickly (if indeed it was egregious as you mention).

It's OK to breakup with someone if you're no longer attracted to them. But there may have been kinder ways to do it. i.e., if you've been fucking this girl for a few months and she felt like you cared for her, but it turns out that you just wanted to bone her (while she was hot), then that probably hurt her feelings more than your calling her a whale. i.e, you objectified her and made her feel like the other parts of her weren't worth sticking around for. Which is your prerogative, but I'm just saying that's probably why she feels ashamed and called you an asshole.

If you had fallen in love with her, you would've been concerned as to the underlying cause and other qualities might've driven you to not be so abrupt in your actions.

Get it? If not, idgaf

>>17131902
>>17131895
>>17131921
>>17133069
>All these assholes thinking getting fat and slovenly is acceptable.

Listen, there is always a way to address concerns to someone whose getting bigger and bigger. There are nice ways and then there is the reality of it. You can tell her that you love her and care about her health and that you don't want to see her slowly kill herself. I'm sure you have tried saying so. If not, I suggest so if you care about this girl.

However, being fat is a clear sign of laziness. Her saying you need to accept her is true: you should absolutely accept someone for who they are. But do you want to accept someone whose lazy? Body acceptance is for people who are mangled, burned, or otherwise. Not for tubbernaughts who can't stop eating.

You did the right thing. Don't let any of these autists tell you otherwise.

Fat = bad habits, low self-esteem, bad health, laziness

/hm/ here, I dated a blubber for 2 years out of pity and to "prove" that I cared more about the inside.
But the inside what shit, lazy, low self-esteem, bad habits and bad choices and more bad choices and then more low self-esteem and let me treat myself to some ridiculous amount of food and soda.
Did I mention the laziness?
His place REEKED of cat piss and shit because he couldn't keep the litterbox empty. And instead of taking the used litter to the dumpster, he put the bags filled with shit and piss litter outside on his balcony because he couldn't be bothered to take it to the dumpster.

My clothes would smell when I had visited him, entering his place was like hitting a wall of aerosol catshit.

Fatties are lazy, fatties are bad material for relationships.

>>17131889
You did the right thing. All fat slobs should be killed

If you care about her, you'll try telling her how you feel,

This might be tricky because she is sensative, but maybe you know how to tell her in a way that's not offensive.

Maybe she hasn't had the time or money to take care of herself the way she usually does. Treat her to getting her nails or hair done , pamper her and she should catch on.

If you love she loves you, she will be happy to make you happy. Show her that you still know she's gorgeous underneath her sweatpants and messybuns.

>>17134769
Although I disagree with the apathy by default, this is the but picture, if you don't live here leave, if you do, have a chat

>>17134769
*big

>>17131889
>What does /adv/ have to say?
What steps did you take to encourage her to stop being a fatass before dumping her?

Your greentxt makes it sound like she turned into a land whale and you immediately bailed. I hope that isn't the case because then yes that would be very assholish and selfish. Strangers get that kind of treatment, not partners.

I'm not saying you should stay with the land whale forever; I'm saying you need to either TRY and get her not fat or admit that you're a selfish asshole who bails at the first sign of trouble.

So either you left out an important piece of your story or she's right.

>>17131889
High school guidance counselor here, you wouldn't believe the number of times this comes up.
Look man, the best thing to do is to just let this go. You must be frustrated, anyone would be, but letting her words hurt you is exactly what she wants, and isn't healthy or helpful for you.

People will say anything when they're getting dumped, they don't want to be the loser/bad guy, and getting dumped 100% makes them the loser She's likely saying these things because she wants some power back in this dynamic, or hopes you'll feel bad and try to undo your decision.
It's your life and you have every right to live it with who ever you chose, and that's all that matters, not what she thinks or what anyone says.

Have you texted her at all since you broke up?