So I had this thing for a girl for a while. Fell really hard for her, to the point where I would even say I was in love, although I'm not sure if that's completely accurate as I don't have any other experiences to compare it to.
She ended up transferring to another, out of state university, which I knew was going to happen, so I never pursued anything more than friendship with her. We'd study for between 8 and 15 hours a week and we had two classes together, so we spent a lot of time just hanging out.
I've spent this last semester trying to forget about her. I got really into lifting weights, I started reading much more, I brought my grades up by a significant amount, and I met a bunch of new people. I thought it had worked, but yesterday I happened to see her tagged in a picture on facebook. I'd been able to avoid this up to this point by quietly removing her and avoiding all contact. It sucked, but I felt it was necessary. That picture though, really fucking stung. She's as beautiful as I remember and it was like I could hear her goddman laugh when I saw it. I've had this feeling of a whole in my chest and like I've been punched in the stomach since then.
My question is, how the hell am I supposed to deal with this? I thought I was done with her and it doesn't even make sense that I feel this strongly about her. It's not realistic to think a relationships between us would work out, and apparently what I've been doing to forget about it hasn't actually helped at all.
Been there before. You just gotta stop looking at her social media and stuff. Just focus on trying to live your life for you and nobody else. Eventually you'll get over it. Then another girl will come along and the cycle repeats.
>>17131932
you'll probably always have that "fish who got away" feeling and the sooner you become cool with that the sooner it becomes just a fact and not a knife to the heart waiting to happen just by clicking wrong on facebook. facts can be dealt with, but emotions will rule your thoughts.
it might take 1-2 years to get to that point where it's just a fact that you regret you didn't have more with this girl. learning to do this with this girl will help you out down the road when you inevitability feel even more heartbreak.
just don't close yourself off to dating other people. maybe fuck some strange if it makes you feel better. don't do it if it makes you feel worse.
>>17131939
this anon... this
>>17131939
That's the approach I took, but I feel as if I've lost every bit of progress I made up to this point just by seeing the one picture.
I guess all I can do is start from scratch and hope I don't run into another picture of her.
>>17131941
>learning to do this with this girl will help you out down the road when you inevitability feel even more heartbreak.
Any recommendations on how to go about this? I'd love to get this figured out so I can stop feeling like shit in the middle of finals week. If there aren't any mental shortcuts or something, I guess I'm just stuck with this feeling for a while.
>>17131958
read a funny biography to amuse you/also take you out of your head space and into someone else's. their perspective will put your perspective into better... perspective. jenny lawson's "let's pretend this never happened" is fucking hilarious if you can get down her humor. it's a little tumblr-ish.
charles bukowski's novel post office is another good one. if you don't know him, he's basically your drunk grandpa who's kind of a misogynist but really funny anyways
