>get tired of >tfw no GF
>try to pursue a girl
>start eating lunch with her
>get her number
>ask her out
>she says she's busy but would let me know
>stops eating lunch with me b/c of lunch detention
>come to the logical conclusion that she's not in to me
>feel bad, but understand, decide not to push it any more
That was last week. This week:
>eat lunch alone as usual
>she msg me to ask if I'm eating with her, saying her lunch detention is over
>make bullshit excuse not to because what the fuck
>next day, eat with her, we talk like nothing happened
What should I do? The obvious conclusion is she just wants to be friends, but I also thought she was trying to avoid me, so my social logic isn't really reliable. How can I be sure?
>>17129951
Welcome to the the one-way Exit from r9k mentality.
First off, there IS the posibility she likes you to a degree, since she was honest about detention.
However, if she wants to be your friend, there's nothing bad with that either, having friends.
But usually, when a girl actually is honest about unable to go out to lunch with you and being specific about it (i.e. "got detention"), you have her interest. Play it cool, look at her body language and the way she looks at you.
Godspeed anon.
If she's cool then be friends with her. Then keep trying your luck with other girls and hitting on them whenever you're with her. It'll go one of two ways, she'll either get a little jealous and try to put the moves on you, or she'll hook you up with one of her girlfriends.
It's a win-win.
>>17129951
Only one question to ask yourself. Would you have fun and enjoy spending time with het if she was just your friend?
If yes then it's a win/win situation. Maybe just friends, maybe more. Fucking awesome.
If no, it's a lose/lose situation. If you just stay friends that sucks and you wasted your time. Even If she is interested in you the only reason you are there is because she may fuck you. But literally every other second you arent fucking her you will be miserable because you don't enjoy spending time with her.
>lunch detention
High schooler get out
>>17129985
Just no she missed her chance move on to the next girl op. Also she will probably try to set you up with one of her ugly friends or try to cock block you because she want all the attention for herself.
>>17129967
Actually, it was /adv/ that brought me to the conclusion that she doesn't like me. And if I was any good at reading body language, I wouldn't be here, would I?
>>17129985
I wouldn't even know where to start with other girls. I'm not even sure how I got to this point with the current girl. Not to mention, trying to make her jealous seems like a bit of a dick move.
>>17130002
I like her as a friend, I just want to see if we can be anything more. If not, I'm fine with things staying how they are.
>>17130011
Again, that just seems like a dick move. I don't want to make her feel bad.
>>17130040
Yes, OP, but consider the following:
>for the past few months, /adv/ has been getting invaded by trolling /r9k/ers, so don't take all advice as face value
>the only way to learn to read body language is through trial and error
As I said earlier, I can advise you to play it cool continue talking to her and having lunch. I'll assume you're a highschooler, so just keep going that route, you're still young and both you and have have lots to learn still.
The fact she was honest about her detention instead of a vague "I can't right now" and leave away does proof she has some sort of interest on you, either as a friend or more.
>>17130052
I don't like the idea of staying passive, and just waiting for things to happen. What if I don't make it clear I like her, and she assumes I don't, because I'm not forward enough?
>>17130140
... By playing it cool, I mean not spilling your spaghetti all over her, nor being a stalking creep. Or a lethargic slowpoke either.
By being cool I mean keep going out with her, knowing her more, and getting closer to her. Especially the closer part. Be proactive without spilling the pasta. Once you feel close enough to her, confess.
>>17130176
You realize all you said with that is "jus b urself" right?
>>17130140
Mah niggah.
Be direct! Just ask her if she would like to do something AS A DATE.
Don't have to worry about if she is picking up on your cues and all the reading between the lines shit. Let her know you like her. All girls like attention.
>>17130034
>>17130049
If you want a gf you can't be afraid to get your hands dirty. You call it a dick move, but in reality it's just another tool you can use to get what you want.
>>17130176
>once you feel close to her you realize you are in the friendzone.
Fixed that for ya.
OP, don't be a pussy. Just ask her out. You don't have to tell her how you feel and all the weird uncomfortable emotional stuff. Asking her on a date is self explanatory.
>>17130202
It's a dick move. If someone did that to me, I wouldn't even want to be friends with them. I'm not doing that to her.
>>17130203
>>17130192
Again, I already asked her out. Should I ask her again? How do I make it clear I want to date and not just hang out?
Don't know if she was interested in you before but she is now. Most guys are pretty clingy about rejection so your not giving a fuck is attractive.
>>17130213
You do it in a very subtle way obviously. You aren't necessarily intentionally trying to make here jealous. It may just happen when dating other girls. Of course that is only if she has feelings for you. She may just be happy for you.
>>17129951
Be straightforward and honest with your feelings and intentions. Tell her what you want, don't leave anything to grey areas. You keep things in grey to avoid pushing her away, but if you don't risk losing her than you will never really be with her.
>>17130237
This is what I want to do, but I have no idea how to do it. Should I do it over text? Should I wait until our next lunch together, then tell her? In either case, how do I bring it up?
I don't even know how I got to this point. I have no idea what i'm doing.
>>17130277
How you do it doesn't matter as much as that you do it. I know people always say in person is better than text but if it's too hard it's better to do it by text than not at all. Just try hard not to expect anything and roll with however she reacts. I've laid it out a bunch of ways and gotten better at it with each time. girls, and people in general, appreciate vulnerability. It's actually a great strength in my opinion. You don't need any special preface to lead in, just tell her how you feel.
