>>17099632

i feel ya. im not a big drinker myself. when i go out its to get laid or just for flirty validation, and i dont like to go with friends cuz its a distraction. as such i like to find friends like you, ones who dont drink. AA seems nice on the surface but its a lot of people who went too far and are having trouble putting thier lives together.

so how do you find friends? i got some advice, it was typed up for people trying to meet women to potentially date, but it wokrs even better for just finding friends in my opinion. im a copy paste it into the next posts but before that just want to address something you say

>but it seems like the only htings open at night are bars

eh yes but also not quite. depends on where you live. smaller town will be bar only. cities will be more than just bars. at the very least they have things that are technically bars but also other things. for instance, a bar where they have a trivia night, or a bar where they have karaoke, or poetry slams or this or that and the third thing. find somethign that isnt a basic party bar and you'll be surprised. i tend to jsut drink water but still go out to be social.

but there are non bar otpions. most of them are for the day, but if you can make friends during the day, you can ask them to hang out at night, either inside or out.

>>17099650
effort. lots and lots of effort. and also, doing what you like. going out is in no way restricted to bars and clubs, though if that is what you enjoy, by all means, go to bars and clubs.

the truest way to find chemistry is to experience your life in the most enjoyable way, and see how you match with the people who come into it. interacting with someone in a casual way shows you how you ACTUALLY get along, not how you hope to get along cuz you really want this to work cuz you need a gf.

so write down a list of all your hobbies, and find a way to externalize them. most people live at least near a city these days.

go to any and all hobby shops and ask about local events. gun shops might have hunting trips. or you can just go to a shooting range. comic book stores have game nights. or live commentary movie nights. if these shops do not host events, offer to host one through them, after all it will only lead to more money through them.

you can even go to a more casual store, lets say, a book store, and stand in your favorite aisle (lets say, horror). talk to everyone who comes by looking for a book. ask what book they are looking for. tell them what book you are looking at. try to spark a conversation abotu your favorite author. maybe take some suggestions. if you really hit it off, try to trade numbers.

its okay if it doesnt pan out. this isnt a scoring system. there is no man in a cloack in space making down on a cosmic chalkboard how many failed conversations you had. 99% of interaction is dumb. you are waiting for the 1% and enjoying talking about your favorite things with strangers until then.

>>17099656

>but anon, going outside somewhere to find out if maybe they have an event doesnt suit my lazy lifestyle!!1!

and for those who simply cannot bring themselves to get up out of the house without a guarantee go to meetup.com and look for something of your interest. no matter what your interest it is on there in a group you can meet with. and if not, you can start your own meet up.

Now, some of you may argue that these sorts of tailored events are attended mostly by men. yes. mostly. but some women too. whats important here is you will be doing something you love, with people who love what you love, and when the right ladies come along you'll know they love it too. you will have that common ground.

>>17099632
Try indoor rock climbing its fun good exercise and if you go alone they match you up with someone for safety. Bam new friend opportunity right there

>>17099656
Thanks, man. That really helps.

I used to be a lot more social because I was in bands and stuff. And like, I'd go up to people but I always had a purpose in doing it. To introduce myself and network and all of that.

I know it's like, stupid or arbitrary, but without that, I feel so awkward approaching people. I was also usually pretty drunk back then, though.

But yeah, I need to work at it more and these ideas all seem good.

I do like guns, comics, and books. Sounds like we have an awful lot in common ha.

>>17099678

i actually hate books. i like the ideas of comics but too expensive a hobby. these were just ideas to show you but literally any interest oyu have can work.

i like guns, and pretending i make TV series mostly.

There was a bowling alley in my home town that had late night bowling events to like 12 or 1 in the morning. See if you have one of those near you

>What do non-drinking 20-somethings do at night?
I sleep. Is it normal?