Sup /adv/. I need some life direction advice.
I am a white male, approaching 30. I have a good STEM degree, good income and career prospects and no obvious life problems (beyond tfwnogf, which I'll get to later). Yet despite this I seem to derive progressively less enjoyment from life.
I used to greatly enjoy animu/vidya/movies. A really good one could really stay with me and motivate me for weeks or even months. Now, I only rarely encounter something that moves me, and even then the feels don't last. Most stuff just looks derivative, empty, uninteresting.
I also have some more active hobbies, including my work. I used to be able to just get lost in those for hours at a time, but now I often cannot be bothered to start doing those, because it feels like too much trouble that isn't worth it. I can still function normally and get stuff done, but my life feels rather hollow.
As for the nogf part, I am (in good /adv/ tradition) a kissless virgin. The virgin part does not bother me much, but the lack of female companionship is unpleasant. I know that /adv/ commonly says that one should be able to be happy alone and so on, but I can't shake the feeling that a deep emotional connection with someone is what's really missing from my life. The problem is that I couldn't really have that connection with a girl I wouldn't see as my equal partner. And girls like that (smart+independent and not ugly or too crazy) seems to be about as common as unicorns. So me getting a gf does not seem likely, at least in the immediate future.
So, what else can I do to recover the spark /adv/? Don't tell me it's gone forever.
Well, i think it's perfectly normal that you progress with age. You might simply have outgrown the things that catched your attention. Imo, you are fastly approaching an age where you need other things to occupy your mind. And i hate to tell you this, but it mainly consists of building a family.
The way you are making yourself out, it shouldn't be that big of a problem to find a decent girl. Provided you did tell us the whole deal...?
>>17108477
Hi anon. You sound like one of my female friends who went to med school here in the U.S. She came from a pretty strict household (no dating allowed), so by the time she went to college, she was just focused on medicine - and she really loves what she does. But the work hours are crazy, so she doesn't have time to meet guys. (And all the guys she liked in school were taken by the time she decided to focus on companionship in life versus her vocation.)
They are out there - don't give up hope. But yes, they're rare. Apologies that I don't have specific advice for you. I just wanted to give you hope, because I hear this from a couple of my female friends IRL.
>>17108494
The problem is not that I outgrew a few adolescent interests, but that I get less joy from everything I do.
And I'm not really interested in building a traditional family. I want a partner to share my life with, but settling down and making babies holds no appeal to me.
>>17108852
Thanks for the encouragement anon. I know the kind of girl I'm looking for do exist, I've even met a few (didn't work out for various reasons). The question is mainly how not to go crazy/keep myself motivated in the meantime.
You need goals to work toward.
do psychedelic drugs, specifically lsd
>>17109022
fuck off
>>17109025
but why?
it'll literally change OP's perspective on life, has no risk of addiction and its cheap
>>17108494
>you have to have a family
Top kek he doesn't
A family is just a trade were you don't need to think of what to do with your time and money because you will involuntarily sacrifice all of it.
>>17108997
Well, it doesn't sound like you have been able to replace those "adolescent interests".
Probably because it IS rather unusual to not be involved romantically at your age in one way or another. This normally takes up a lot of time, energy, passion and attention that lies barren in your case. Which is a real overflow that might be hard to use up and direct into usefull directions.
There are a miriade of things you could do. But in the end, there's no reason why you should. Learn to draw? Yeah, nice, but what use is it? Hitchhike around the world? Sure, but what for? To post it on fb? After all is said and done, everything it's pretty useless and unnecessary. But instead of this taking you down, take it as a free pass. It means that you can just immerse yourself into ANYTHING. It makes no difference if you decide to get a garden and start being a fanatic "i grow my own food", if you decide to "become national pingpong-champion", or just make plans to go to your hometown as if you are a tourist. it frees you from needing to find "that one thing i am passionated about". You "are" no passionated about crap, you "get" passionated about them. Just randomly decide on a "passion" and then pursue that. Lear all you can about the subject. Practice, practice and practice some more. After you are confident in your skills, share it! Cook for your friends, join a band, write a book, what ever the fuck.
>>17108477
>>17109025
>>17108997
I'm going to be mean to you because I don't like how you posture like a child. You smell like virgin not just in your pants but all over you.
There is zero reason to be a kissless virgin at 30 except by your own choice. My guess is this:
>I can't shake the feeling that a deep emotional connection with someone is what's really missing from my life.
>deep emotional connection >(smart+independent and not ugly or too crazy) >unicorns.
"Smart, independent, and not too ugly or crazy" describes just about every woman who graduates college from a four year institution. So I call bullshit that you've go these "oh so relaxed and reasonable" standards going on .... but can't find pussy by 30. Nope, bullshit.
Are you repulsive physically?
Do you have a shit personality to match your post?
>Are you lazy?
>Are you scared?
What is it anon?
>>17109088
>Probably because it IS rather unusual to not be involved romantically at your age in one way or another.
Why are you shilling so hard for this? Are you some cat lady bitter about men having found other things to do than spend time and money on white girls?
>>17108477
smoke crack
>>17109104
Why is this the only thing you are taking out of my post?
It's the most basic human drive to procreate. Having an orgasm is one of two times your body would NOT go into survival mode if your life is being in danger. The other situation is giving birth. Producing offspring is more important to your body than protecting your own life. Ofc it will fuck you up atleast SLIGHTLY if you fail to do even a "version" (aka, having a bf/gf) of that...
>>17109089
Where did I say anything about my standards being relaxed? I'm well aware they are quite high.
There were girls who have expressed interest in me, so I probably could have gotten laid if I really wanted. They just weren't interesting to me (because they were not smart and/or independent). Besides, if sex was really what I wanted, I'd have just hired a hooker ages ago.
>>17109160
Bla bla baby raby cat lady
