Breakup advice
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
So my boyfriend for the past 3 years (first serious relationship, he was a first for many things) broke up with me in late February and I basically felt like I had been crushed. However we talked things out and decided we'd get back together, things were going amazingly, there were a couple of occasions where my anxiety/depression got the better of me but he was supportive and loving.
Fast forward to Monday last week, he goes on holidays with to see his uni friends (he never took holidays but really needed it, plus he said we'd go on one when he came home). The week is normal, I miss him and message him and he says he'll call (which he never did).
Fast forward to Sunday night, he's home and has barely said anything to me apart from small talk. I go to his house because he wants to talk. After getting there basically he tells me he cheated on me with some uni girl (who knew he had a gf) and that we're breaking up. A list of things he said throughout the 4hr ordeal or him trying to console me:
1. I do and don't regret it
2. I love you
3. I wanted to do it
4. There's someone out the who's better for you
5. I'm holding you back
And so on in that matter.
He himself has had another girl cheat on him and was worried for a majority of our relationship about me cheating. And then he goes and sleeps with someone else?
Now I'm a wreck caught in between self destruction and horrible ironic memes.
TL;DR
My ex is a fuckwit and I need someone to talk to and help me with this.
Pic for reference
>>17103811
Accept your loss. Remind yourself that's it's better that it happened now then 10 years down the road when you have kids and a mortgage. Understand that what he did wasn't your fault. Grieve, accept and move on. There's really nothing else you can do unfortunately. Learn from it, would be my biggest advice. Don't let it make you bitter or resentful.
What do u need help with? It sounds like that this will be a learning experience and you gave the relationship more time but it didn't do well. Time to get over the guy, it will suck. But it will be over, and you can focus back on your life.
>>17103811
Shit happens. It's going to hurt for a long time. Try not to do anything stupid. Focus on your life and your goals. It'll hurt less over time. Then move the fuck on with your life. If you wanna cry or scream go cry or scream. If you wanna punch something go to a gym and beat the shit out of a bag. Feel the feelings as they come but always hold on to the idea that you'll get through it before too long and focus on something, a project, a goal, to help you get through it.
Yup it's that simple. It's not easy. It's gonna hurt like fuck. But there's no magic cure type answer. That's all there is to be done about it.
OP here,
Is it relatable that I really just want get drunk and be with friends but at the same time all I can think about is memories that we've had. It feels like he was just lying and I told him that but he said he wasn't. He even cried when I tired to give my necklace/ring back.
He said such lovely things to me before he went away, then came back saying he doesn't see me in his future.
I still love him so much, but the trust has been destroyed.
>>17103847
I understand OP. Shit sucks. There's nothing you can do now though. I recommend spending time with friends or doing anything to occupy your mind. Preferably things that don't remind you of him. Best of luck, you sound like a really nice person and I'm sure you'll find someone that treats you well.
>>17103847
You're not going to want to hear this Anon, and I'm not sure I should even tell you, but he probably wasn't lying. This probably took him by surprise as much as it's taken you by surprise, and he probably feels like shit about it too. The fact he told you about it straight away, came clean and was honest with you, is a sign that he at the very least respects and admires you on some level.
And that's something to hold onto. That's something to be proud of, even. Like others have said, it's better for this to happen now than five years down the line. He's still a cheater, and if you need to be mad at him then you be mad as all hell, he deserves it, but remember that when the end came he respected you, and that's more than a lot of people can say. When the feelings of despair pass, and they will pass, you can hold your head high on this one. It wasn't your fault.
>>17103889
Thank you, anon, that helps a lot.
