Hot and Tsundere
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
How am i supposed to deal with a warm, affectionate, horny boyfriend who touches, hugs, kisses and compliments me all the time? "Because I love you" - clearly someone this passionate is unable and unwilling to understand and accept another point of view, that love can be expressed differently without being lesser.
I'm quite the opposite of this, sulky and moody sometimes, I tease and joke a lot. My attraction is stirred mostly on the mental and imaginative plane. Faced with so much display of affection it's inevitable that there be occasional (playful) rejection and no initiation of physical acts from my part. Most of the time, however, I agree to play along for his sake. I feel like a cold, horrible human being who doesn't deserve him...especially when we argue and he complains about it.
Everything else is great, please don't advice me on leaving him. But it's bad that I feel like avoiding hangouts when I'm irritated as this will irritate me more. I'm kind of numb to all this. I associate this kind of love with maternal feelings and I only act like this towards animals. But my love sucks, it's more like a friendship with benefits and commitment
Pic kind of related, saw it around here recently and snatched it
>>17095792
if you cant leave him, then be up front about it.
explain it and say you want to meet half way. you will 'paly along' but you also want him to appreciate your boundaries. show him this post, proving that you dont want to leave him and thats not what its about. you just want to be comfortable while also making sure he is comfortable.
try to never cancel any solid plans made, but dont be afraid to say 'i need alone time' when he tries to make new plans (spontaneous or otherwise).
i was seeing a guy and he was clingy as fucked. lived right down the street so he wanted to hang out almost every day. i had to tell him we had to limit ourselves to twice a week cuz otherwise id never get anything done, and im a project oritented person.
>>17095803
>i was seeing a guy and he was clingy as fucked. lived right down the street so he wanted to hang out almost every day. i had to tell him we had to limit ourselves to twice a week
Mine fits this as well. If we see each other today adn then tomorrow again, he'll tell me how much he missed me in between.
Did try confronting him and being honest about it and he got sad, like his love wasn't reciprocated. He doesn't react well, makes me feel bad about it...at best he compromised ONE DAY per MONTH when he keeps his hands off of me, lol and not even then is he capable of restraining himself...
He says he'd be more open and understanding of this if we lived together. Like really
>>17095826
not sure what you are asking for then. right now you are saying
>i refuse to break up with him
>he refuses to understand
not much else you can do. either give in or give up. theres no magic third option. you can keep talking and hope he changes but its like you said, people love differently. he cant see it from your way. you cant see it from his.
>>17095834
I guess you're right. It just sucks that this happened with my exes as well. Can't help but think I'm the problem
Oh well, thank you for your time and advice anon
>>17095874
a guy will get rejected a thousand times before he gets a yes. and how many of those yes's last more than just a few dates? and how many of those relationships actually last forever? none.
my point here is that there is no 'problem'. people are different. people wnat different things. netiher is a problem. its just what they want. and what they want can change, and what they were willing to put up with can change.
you're not a problem anymore than a guy is for getting rejecte dby the last ten girls he asked out. its a numbers game really. you're just playing on a different level.
