I let my brother in my group of friends and he constantly disrespects me. Whenever I try to confront him about it, he simply tries to avoid the issue and claims that I'm "attacking him".
I've known these friends for years and I asked them to treat my brother like a friend too, and now I am regretting it. How do I teach my brother some respect, or if worse comes to worse, cut him out (now he is pretty much always tagging along to what we do)?
Banter him back
>he can't take the bantz
Some of the most common ways that he disrespects me is by interrupting me in the middle of when I'm speaking, before I make my point, and assuming my point before I make it (usually he gets the point wrong) he "responds".
Another thing he does is wait until I'm done speaking, then change the topic completely before anyone has a chance to respond to what I just said.
Sometimes, he will interrupt me and just change the topic completely.
He also likes to sometimes position himself in front of me in "circles" so that I am blocked out. He does it unconsciously, but it says a lot about what he's thinking.
>>17094351
Depending on your ages, beat the shit out of him.
You should call him out on his shit in front of people. In front of your friends, when he disrespects you, say it out loud, and tell him how much he is acting like a child.
What exactly is he doing?
He's being narcissistic, look it up and get a book on how to deal with it.
>>17094369
Kek Jesus that sounds frustrating. Not even banter, just being a catty bitch
>>17094369
I used to have a bad habit of doing this when I was a child. Someone else would be talking, and I would start talking or interrupt them. (I'd stop, suddenly realizing what I'd done, but the damage si still there.)
My aunt had a pretty good way of dealing with it. One time, at a family get together, she was speaking, and I came in the room and started to interrupt her, and she continued to speak, except she got REALLY LOUD and stared right into my eyes. After she finished her sentence she said, "Oh, excuse me. I didn't realize you were speaking. I WOULDN'T INTERRUPT YOU BECAUSE THAT'S REALLY RUDE." It set my shit straight.
Is he older or younger?
>>17094369
I mean, it sounds like your brother is turning conversations into a social game for himself. He's trying to make you seem dumb, and make himself seem better to your friends.
The best way to deal with this is to drag it out into view. When he changes the topic, tell him that you still wanted to talk about the other thing.
Ask him what his damage is! Embaress him in front of them, and if you do it bad enough, he won't do it again.
>>17094369
Interupt him, say loudly "hey don't interrupt, that's rude" then immediately continue with what you were saying.
If he waits till your done talking and tries to change the subject, let him for a moment, but then quickly ask your friend about what they thought of what you were saying. Don't let your brother interrupt again after that point.
If he's trying to step in front of you, softly (but firmly) move him aside with your hand and ask him to give you some space. Don't grab, just firmly push him aside and carry on with a conversation. If he tries to turn it into a big deal, ask him what's wrong and why is he angry? There's no reason to be angry.
>>17094378
No one is more aware of narcissism than me. We were raised by someone who is 1000/100 on that scale, and my brother has taken on his qualities while I have identified them and tried my hardest not to take them on.
Obviously, he does this because he believes what he has to say is more profound and interesting than whatever I have to say. He also usually only does this with me, not my friends.
It's also worth noting that he like to take up the majority of the airspace, dragging out his stories as long as possible and putting as many words as he can to explain things he can do in a single sentence. He also talks mostly about himself, and embellishes stories and lies often too, which really frustrate me.
>>17094386
1 year younger. However, he has not been in the real world as long as myself... he is 23 and hasn't really been out since highschool. I've been in college and worked my whole way through.
>>17094395
One thing my aunt told me (who is a person that is much like myself) is that my dad basically stole all of her friends when she tried to do this for him. They all stopped calling her "for some reason" and started only hanging out with him. I worry this will happen to me, but at the same time, my brother is not my father.
When we are one on one, I always ask him what he thinks about my previous point, but then he gets angry because I am talking "meta" stuff, or he will give me an answer that is one sentence and uninspired, expecting me to engage him about his topic.
He doesn't understand how a conversation works. It's supposed to be 2 sided, both people engaged, addressing what the other person says. Instead, it's like he thinks it's one person preaching, and the other person just listening, then changing the topic to something they want to speak about. I try to explain to him that this isn't how conversations work, but then he gets angry.
>>17094396
All excellent points. When he moves in front of me, I usually subtly move him out of the way. However, he keeps doing it despite me asking him not to do it after the social encounter is done. He doesn't respect me, so he doesn't listen.
Otherwise, when he does inturpupt me, I have before continually said "excuse me" until he stops talking over me, and that works. However, he always later says that I "wasn't being his ally" or something similar, and once again, never learns his lesson and does it again later. Next time, I will really embarrass him. I am doing him a great favor, and he is shitting all over me.
>>17094429
>it's like he thinks it's one person preaching, and the other person just listening
My dad is like this, and it's really hurt our relationship. I don't know how to deal with it either. He sees every time we speak as an opportunity to "one up" me on any topic, and it's frustrating, because I just want to talk to him like a normal person. I don't know how to deal with it. I actually moved far away and only speak to him once every few months, now.
Yesterday I called him and asked what he was up to. He said he was watching game of thrones. I got excited because I actually read a lot of fantasy literature and have always been heavy into medieval fantasy stuff. So this was an opportunity to share that with him...
>>17094457
Yeah, it's very frustrating to deal with, especally when he won't admit his fault.
Any other opinions on how to deal with this? I really want to help my brother, I really do, but I cannot allow him to sabotage my relationships with my friends that I have worked so hard to build.
