Pt 1 of 2
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Unsure what to do.
>be female, later 20's
>I have known some shitty people, during inopportune times throughout my life ('guardians' abuse me during formative years, sister dated a small-time drug lord when I was finishing high school & got knocked up--I helped raise the child, get my sister off hard drugs, and convince her to report him to the Feds...that kind of inopportune).
>gone through years of therapy, read too many (probably, anyway) self-help books and articles
>spent years in introspective mode
>recently feeling better about myself & life...feeling like I'm figuring some shit out & taking ownership for that which I feel I can
>sense of self worth has improved
>starting to wonder about my fiance...and whether or not something is 'up' that I had somehow missed (Idk if he has an ego problem, or what...and need your /adv/)
Lately, I have begun to suspect whether or not my life is 'healthy,' as I have ~rewired my brain and changed my perspective on the world (in general) within the last two years.
>started dating someone four years ago (I had been dating someone else, but that relationship was unhealthy in too many ways to explain here)
>still with them, engaged now
>>they had help 'encourage' me to end my [previous] relationship
He gave me pic related recently, as I have begun to share an interest of typewriters (and changing my lifestyle to be more unplugged) with him.
In a lot of ways, I'm lucky.
I have been messing around with it, trying to get into slow-mode--mostly writing letters to people who will never read them, journal-tier poetry, and whatnot to detoxify my mind in the evenings. Over the past two weeks or so I have done worked with this machine, some days multiple sessions.
I had begun to notice the machine could use some cleaning. (I've also been reading a book about typewriters, in which there was a chapter on cleaning & familiarizing onesself with their new machine.) Another thing I had noticed, was that the something was squeaking as the carriage advanced, though I was unsure what--I figured maybe I could clean the slugs & nearby moving parts with PB blaster, and potentially ~lubricate whatever necessary in the process (thereby eliminating the squeals.
When I told my fiance I wanted to clean the typewriter, he started trying to convince me that wasn't necessary--that he had cleaned it thoroughly, recently. This sprouted into a mini-argument (which was annoying). Finally, I said I wanted to not only clean the machine, but also familiarize myself by doing so. At that point he 'backed-down' and agreed that was a good idea...
So, I went to gather cleaning supplies. When I came back into the typewriting room, he was sitting down and loading the machine with paper to "test" the machine and validate (?) my observations/concerns...
he proceeded to type a short-story for the next hour...without having asked* to use the typewriter.
When I brought this* to light, he said he was 'just testing the machine by writing a short story,' to which I replied, "I'd like to clean this tonight."
He finished his story, then asked me to read it.
...I said I wanted to clean the machine, and he pressed me to read the story first, then proceeded to watch me read it (while eating and chewing with his mouth full), then followed this up with questions about my interpretation of the story..
This is just the more recent instance, but this the kind of thing that happens often.
I often feel like he should have my attention whenever he asks for it...a co-worker of his had called him 'self-absorbed' (which really ate at him). I told him he kind of is.
Now I'm wondering how true this is.
Btw, that other pic was of the q-tips I've used on ~6 square cm of this Remington...using only acetone+water.
Please, someone with a 'normal' sense of healthy characteristics/relationships, point out the obvious to me. What is wrong with this? (If anything)
>>17088511
I am really confused by your expectations, ofcourse the way he acted was not very nice behaviour but to me it seems your relationship lack communication. Maybe he interpreted something in the story that applied to your situation?
In general i think you may make a big deal about it, from seeing the wall of text you wrote you either love writing or you take it too seriously.
My wife is very selfish at times, she hates to admit it but it is obvious, the only thing that really helps is talking about it in a serious way, pay attention to where an argument starts if there is one and try to learn from it.
>>17088533
wut
I wanted to clean my typewriter...not write. I told him I was going to do just that. Right after hearing this, he decides to write a short story on said typewriter (for an hour)...then ~demanded I read said story.
That sounds really weird. Was there a point to the story? Like somehow the way he wrote it showed that the typewriter was cleaned?
Or just that he "forgot" you were going to clean it and was really excited that he wrote something, so that comes first?
None of it really makes much sense. I can't think of a reason it would upset him that you're cleaning it, nor a reason he'd intentionally keep you from it. If that's even what he was doing.
>>17088629
It just seemed like a control-thing...idk. Things like this often happen with him. I don't understand how he could just 'forget' about me in these instances.
>>17088639
Hence it's in quotes. Do you still see a therapist? Have you tried talking to them about it?
Or tried going to counseling together?
