Sorry for the novel
>be me, grade 6
>meet girl in same grade, fall for her instantly
>we became super close, best friends even
>she'd call my house phone and we would talk for hours every day after school
>her parents loved me, i was the only boy ever allowed at her house
>i was always too afraid to tell her how i felt but one day she asked me if i had a crush on anyone
>she could tell when i was lying because we knew each other so well
>got me to admit i had feelings for her
>"i like you too"
>i literally jumped in happiness when that happened
>she has to go
>the next day, my awkwardness gets the best of me and I'm afraid to talk to her in fear of ruining it
>later that day my other friend comes over
>"dude *insert said girl* just told me she has a huge crush on me and now she's my girlfriend
>my 12 year old world falls apart for the 4 days they "dated" (6th grade remember)
>she says sorry, asks me to still be her friend
>i say yes, still have strong feelings for her
>we continue being best friends
fast forward to grade 7
>We stopped talking because we started hanging out in different cliques (we started middle school, you know how that goes)
>we don't talk for a few months but my feelings never went away
>she texts me on new years eve
>"id honestly kiss you right now"
>i reply "i would kiss you back"
>she tells me she loves me
>at this point i just say it
>"i love you too"
>she leaves me after a few weeks, i get sad but whatever
>still have feelings for her but we don't talk after this
skip to 9th grade
>we start high school
>end up having the same class
>friendship rekindles
>become extremely close friends again
>i never stopped feeling for her, always too afraid to say anything
>she starts having a lot of different boyfriends and would always come to me when they mistreated her, id always comfort her
>i watched her get heartbroken over and over and it killed me inside, but i never said anything
please let me continue first
cont.
skip to grade 10
>she gives up on boyfriends, hangs out with me
>nothing was ever explicitly implied but you could feel the tension between us
>she'd always be really close to me and rest her head on my shoulder or give me really long random hugs and say how much i mean to her
>i loved it so much
>halloween happens
>we are in a group of friends but they're being annoying
>every time she rests her head on me a friend comes to try to interrupt it just to be a jerk
>we leave on our own, end up at park
>sitting on a bench, its about 11 p.m.
>we get closer and closer
>i finally sum up the courage to hold her hand
>she holds it back, looks at me and smiles
>i kiss her (my first kiss by the way)
>i lean back in a "wow did that just happen" way
>i waited 4 years to do that
>she says my name, so i look at her, and she leans in and we literally just kiss over and over again for 2 hours
>i walk her back to her house, holding hands, thinking life is just so perfect
>i kiss her goodnight
>next day, she wasn't at the place we usually meet up at before school
>don't think too much of it
>walk in to a classroom to say hi to a different friend
>she's in the corner sitting close to some other dude and we make eye contact and she makes a face like she knows what she just did
>she tries to apologize to me over and over again, saying how she just wanted us to be friends and she's afraid of ruining us
>i forgive her but things aren't the same
>literally 2 days later she starts making out with a friend right in front of me
>never felt so heartbroken seriously
>i leave, don't talk to anyone in that group for 2 months
>she apologizes again and i say whatever
>friendship isn't the same anymore
>we still were friends though
>i still felt for her even after all of that
>summer comes a bit later, and we start hanging out a lot
>she starts getting close to me and i don't know why but i kissed her again
>she kisses me back
>"we need to just be friends"
cont.
>at this point i give up, end up meeting a girl at an attack attack! show and we start dating,
>relationship ends badly
skip to end of senior year in high school
>she messages me on Facebook, and i figure eh why not
>we start talking again
>i tell her everything thats happened to me in the last year and a half-two years since we last spoke
>we catch up
>she ends up going to a college 3 hours from me while i go to community college
>we text each other occasionally but nothing too serious
>back of my mind i realize i still have feelings for her
>an hour later she texts me
>"i miss you so much"
>we end up flirting again
>she snapchats me nudes
>I've wanted to see that for 7 years at this point
>"lets hang out soon"
>two days later, same friend from 6th grade (at this point i considered him my closest friend) who "dated"her for 4 days texts me
>"DUDE I GOT LAID LAST NIGHT"
>hes kinda a player so i don't think too much of it
>"oh yeah? thats cool dude!"
>"guess who though?"
>the very same girl
> i feel crushed, tell him what happened
>he gets pisses, instantly stops talking to her and apologizes to me a million times
>im not mad, he really didn't know
>i eventually stop talking to him too though
skip to 6 months later
>she texts me "hey"
>im so pathetic i reply
>i still have feelings for her
>she invites me over
>we hang out just normally
>after a while she lays on her bed and I'm just sitting on the floor awkwardly
>"you can lay down too, you know"
>i lay down next to her and we talk
>i kiss her on the cheek after she keeps getting closer to me
>"you shouldn't have done that. i have a boyfriend you know. You should leave"
>i apologize a million ties and she seems fine
>texts me a amonth later
"im drunk and my boyfriend just cheated on me"
>i reply "I'm sorry, are you okay?
>"why do i even text you, you don't care"
>never replies to my texts ever again
skip to now, a year later
i miss her and feel for her and i don't know why. what do i do?
get over it.
>>17087548
i wish i could. I've been trying to for literally years at this point.
>>17087483
This is the epitome of cuck. You are the corporal body of the cuck. Consider killing yourself and ending the cuck for all time.
You need to get over her.
>>17087556
is it cuck-ish even if i don't enjoy it?
You just made me read on book on an awfully shitty person.
What do you think people are going to tell you here? She's trash, my friend. I understand, we all fall for people that are bad for us now and then, it just happens and we can't explain why. But she is no good for you.
>>17087558
Nope. If you enjoy it, it's like being a Virgin by choice. This is worse.
>>17087557
i know i do. i wish i could.
>pining over some dumb broad who doesn't want you for 6+ years
>Posting about it on /adv/
pathetic m8.
>>17087561
i know she's terrible. I don't even know how to get over her and I've tried so hard. I haven't spoken to her in a year
>>17087565
i know I'm pathetic. i even said i was in the story
why do i feel a draw towards her though? i was never able to explain it. Even when i was 12 i just felt attraction towards her instantly
why was she so awful to me? was it because i let her? Anyone else have a similar story?
>>17087604
It's because she's a crazy how and you let her
You're a cuck. If you want to stop being a cuck, go find another girl. I have no hope for you, though.
OP please do yourself a huge kindness and let her go. This girl is nothing but bad for you. She may be what you want, but you don't need her. You were able to give her up between 10th and the end of 12th from what it shows in your story. If you did it once before you can do it again. I can say that I'm in a similar situation and I've been yearning to speak to a girl who I used to speak to everyday for what will be a year soon. It's been hard to fight off the urge especially when I know she's in town, but confide in someone, keep yourself busy, don't stay on the thought of her too long, do anything really. Anything at all that keeps you away from speaking to her. One last thing, her not texting you is great. Don't break the silence even if she does. You know damn well where it will lead you if you don't have the willpower to resist speaking to her.
sounds like you had multiple chances to fuck her and you blew it every time
>>17087483
The only reason, literally THE ONLY REASON you can't get over her is the amount of time you've sunk into someone who keeps rejecting you, leading you on, then pushing you away and immediately delving into "loving" someone else.
Move the fuck on, dude. Stop paying attention to her and it'll stop. Cut contact. Delete shit. Get rid of things that remind you of her. Whatever you have to do. EVERY SINGLE STORY ENDS WITH HER LEAVING. EVERY SINGLE ONE.
TAKE THE HINT. STOP.
Damn bro, you need to get on with your life and stop talking to this broad. I don't even know why you'd continue to keep fucking around after all this bullshit
>>17087767
Because kids are dumb and believe in one true soul mate or lover who happens to be the person next to them that they think is attractive.
