So a few months ago, my girlfriend started going to the gym. I was a bit bothered by the idea in the beginning because I really do not want to date a girl that's "buff", and I feel like people can get obsessed with the gym lifestyle and ruin their relationships, but we discussed it and I put it out of my mind. Recently, however, her trips to the gym have started to affect our relationship. Usually we talk in the mornings and at night, but she's been going to the gym at like 7:30am and 10pm which makes it really hard to talk, given our individual schedules. I feel like I'm a bit stuck since we've already talked through this at least once, but it's also starting to creep in a direction I'm not comfortable with for multiple reasons. One being that I think a girl that's starting to spend that much time at the gym is trying to get buff, and another being that the odd times she's going to the gym are starting a feedback loop where we don't get to talk at our regular time(s) and one or both of us gets a little more upset each time. I don't want to assume anything but I'm also not sure how to approach her about this.
>>17111873
Poor baby.
She has aspects of her life that aren't 100% built around you. She's an actual individual human being.
Cope.
>>17111873
she's going twice a day? damn that's some dedication. but expect that to wear off later when she realizes she's over-working herself. she sounds like she has no idea what she's doing.
and she won't get "buff" but she'll become firm and toned... which is what you want. (unless you're into fatties and chubsters) getting that body-builder look is incredibly hard for a woman, she'll need steroids, a strict diet and supplements for that.
>>17111884
Definitely not what I'm complaining about. I don't care if she does other things, that's what makes me like her. But sometimes people don't realize that their "individuality" comes at a price. You can't have your cake and eat it, too. Relationships require upkeep.
>>17111895
She rarely goes twice a day, but has a few times. I don't think she has a great idea of how to get buff, which is okay to me, but she is doing a lot of arm/back/chest/shoulder exercises and I am absolutely repulsed by the thought of a woman with big arms and pecs.
burmp?
>>17111911
>but she is doing a lot of arm/back/chest/shoulder exercises and I am absolutely repulsed by the thought of a woman with big arms and pecs.
again, op, she is NOT going to become like those body-builder type of women unless she gets her hands on some steroids. her genetics will also determine what she'll end up looking like but i highly doubt she'll get that far. do some research yourself, and maybe get into the gym thing with her.
has she ever discussed what kind of look she's going for with you? because unless she's explicitly told you that she wants to be body-builder buff, i don't see why you should be worried.
>>17111974
Pic related - this is an example of the look she claims to be going for. Personally I'm pretty disgusted by this body type, especially the shoulders, arms and pecs.
>>17111974
pic related by the way, a natty woman without steroids. this is what you're trying to prevent op. you'd be a fag if you didn't want to hit that every night.
>>17111977
Personally I think it looks fantastic but I respect your preferences.
>>17111977
Roids for sure
>>17111984
>>17111983
Upon first glance I didn't think it was so bad either. Then I noticed the size of her forearms and how her pecs are creeping out of her sports bra. She literally looks like a man with a woman's head.
As for >>17111981 I'm totally fine with that. The narcissism that comes with taking photos of your #gymbod is supremely unattractive to me but I don't think my gf will do that.
>>17111977
she is going to either need years of training and a strict regimen and diet to achieve that look (along with some roids probably), or otherwise end up looking like >>17111981 at most.
your fears are baseless op. i think it's great she's setting her standards this high; makes it so that she works harder and achieves a great body. but girls like these pics are extremely determined and disciplined people. i know your gf is gonna hunger for a pizza and a "day off" eventually.
>>17112001
Alright fair enough, that's comforting my mind a little bit. What do you have to say about this dedication getting in the middle of our relationship, though? There's going to be a breakdown at some point if we keep having to push our conversations aside so that she can work out.
>>17112007
up to you guys. i'm actually a femanon who goes to the gym on the regular as well.
my boyfriend and i still text in between the times i'm resting. he rarely notices if i'm at the gym or not unless i let him know. but we're used to waiting 1~3 hours between our texts. (mostly his fault because of his job lol, i typically respond within minutes)
but like i said, sounds like she's over working herself. it won't last, i promise. i was like her at the beginning and would spend 2 hours at the gym every day. now i'm down to an hour every other day.
let her settle in, she's just trying to break into a good habit. she'll find a balance eventually. you could try to go to the gym with her if it bothers you that much.
Oh look. It's this thread again.
>>17112027
It's less about the time between communications and more about the nature of them when they're happening. It's starting to happen more often where I'll call her and after a while she says something like "oh I'm on the way to the gym" which translates to "oh we need to stop talking". I don't think she means to be rude or anything, but like I said, I think people can let their dedication - especially to something like physical fitness - get between their other relationships.
>>17112030
>why is someone asking for advice on this board???
>>17112040
look, i get she's spending a bit less time with you than before, but it's not like she's completely cutting off communication with you. seems like you're a bit clingy. what i think you're afraid of is that she'll out-grow you and your relationship. she has every right to dedicate herself to a new hobby and grow herself in a positive direction. you either need to keep up or deal with it.
i promise that if you keep discouraging her and nagging for more, that'll only drive your relationship to the ground. let her do her thing, and like i said, she will come around again when she realizes her current regime is not working.
right now, the only thing that's getting in between your relationship with her is you and your insecurities.
>>17112076
>what i think you're afraid of is that she'll out-grow you and your relationship
Why is this what fitfags always assume? Is it really impossible for you to believe that not everyone finds a gym body attractive?
>>17112076
>she has every right to dedicate herself to a new hobby and grow herself in a positive direction. you either need to keep up or deal with it.
Sounds like what most modern women would say. It's always some twisted version of "I'm worth it and I'm allowed to do whatever the fuck I want and if you don't think so then you're an insecure man with a tiny dick and you're probably jealous lol"
Could it be that sometimes people overlook the importance of good relationships in their lives and instead turn their focus inward, despite it pushing other people away?
>>17112086
> Is it really impossible for you to believe that not everyone finds a gym body attractive?
Well when you dedicate yourself to something so narcissistic, wouldn't you expect others to admire you? Even though the thing you've dedicated yourself to is basic monkey-lift-heavy-thing level activities?
Why don't you go with her?
>>17112100
We're long distance most of the time
>>17112086
>>17112087
so she should let herself go and become a fat fuck that you'll find repulsive in the following years so you can get tired of her and have an excuse to fuck someone else?
it's not even about being fit, it's about developing good habits for the future. our bodies are tight for now because we're young, but it'll be harder to maintain when we're older. she's investing, and that's smart.
>>17112109
>if you aren't going to the gym to lift, you're going to be a fat fuck
Keep it up, fitfag
>>17112113
enjoy licking the barnacles off your saggy landwhales.
>>17112118
Why are fitfags so salty?? Don't be upset that most people don't see the infinite value you've placed on picking up and putting down heavy objects.
>>17112130
because people like you only want to weigh others down to the same level of mediocrity as you. you guys are a drag and can never be happy for someone else.
she has one life to live and can choose to live it any way she pleases. so unless you have a ring on her finger and swear to god you'll always stay by her side (and by the looks of it, yeah right) she's free to pick up and put down heavy objects if she wants to god damn it.
>>17111873
pic related, think about it.
>>17112144
The salt is so strong. I don't care if people want to lift weights sometimes, I do it. But when people get so obsessive about it that they insult other people for being "mediocre" for not going to the gym, they've gone full lizard-brain monkey status. It's like anyone that obsesses over some form of athleticism. Yeah, you can climb things or punch things or run fast, but literally so can a chimpanzee and they don't marvel at it like dumbfucks.
I could never date a fit girl
Skinny yes, a bit chubby yeah, average no problem
But i just don't like muscles on girls and those pics you guys posted are disgusting
Its not cute and im into cute
I became a born again /fit/ fag and got all obsessed working out around 10 hours a week and obsessing over my diet and recovery. It lasted about 3 years and I got juicy as fuck.
Looking back on it I was kind of nuts. It becomes like this positive feedback loop where setting goals and reaching them combines with the dopamine high of strenuous exercise pushing you ever further onwards. It has a fully realised culture and ideology you start to fit into and that can be incredibly rewarding as well.
Yeah I neglected my partner and did weird things like refuse food at parties because of muh modified protein sparing fast and cutting for body fat goals based around regular measurements and photographing myself. I'd also want to get a pump on in the bathroom of places when out in order to boost my self esteem and combat body image problems.
What killed it for me was the next obsession and life starting to pick up to the point where you can't structure things so rigidly. You start to lose the milestones and targets and progress naturally levels out and stalls and the motivating aspect of it becomes much harder won. This started to modify my outlook further away from the obsession.
I can relate to your gf because at first you feel fucking great and make massive progress and you are part of something and certain people want to prevent you from that so you avoid them because they play into becoming part of a 'problem'.
Participate. Also don't value her based on "what kind of girl I want". She is a fully realised complex human being bro and she is finding shit out about herself and going through a thing.
>my girlfriend started going to the gym. I was a bit bothered by the idea
Stopped reading.
>>17112102
>We're long distance most of the time
Here's the real problem
>>17111873
You do realize noone gets "buff" overnight, especially women. Shes not gonna look like a female bodybuilder unless shes on juice.
You're a fucking idiot OP, girls don't get "buff" unless on roids, their hormones don't allow it, they just get sexy as fuck. If you feel you don't get to talk enough then fucking tell her about it and try to find a compromise dipshit. Not that hard
>>17112262
the only salt i'm tasting is the salt from your tears because you sound like someone who never tried to achieve anything worthwhile. you sure you lift? or are you just saying that for the sake of your pointless argument?
god damn it, it's like no one can set a goal and try to achieve it without someone complaining about it. no one's said anything about being obsessive about the gym, in fact i have even stated several times in my posts that she will get tired of her regime and that it's not even the "correct" way of going about it and that op should chill.
the reality is though, she is going to age and working out is one way to set a good habit and make her youth and health last a bit longer. it's a slippery slope once your metabolism slows down as you get older, and before you know it, you're overweight and wrinkled and can hardly catch your breath after climbing a flight of stairs.
>>17111873
why dont you go work out with her you fucking slob?
>>17112102
Oh, so the real problem is that you're worried she'll find someone who's not a fat fuck like you.
>>17112170
>9gag
kill yourself
>>17111873
You sound like that you're the woman in the relationship OP.
