I need some advice on figuring out what the fuck is going through this woman's head. I've spoken to friends and it hasn't gone anywhere. At this point I just want to know or at least figure out what the hell could even be going on.
So I met this chick 4 or so months ago at a job training thing. We hung out a lot and were hitting it off well. People were starting to get the impression it was going somewhere and so was I. We'd hang out 1 on 1, talk, do shit. A guy from there sent me an email a couple months ago asking when he could expect the wedding invitations, joking obviously, but still wondering what our relationship had developed into.
When the training ended and we got sent to our assignments (I'm being vague about this because I don't want to explain) I asked her to hang out and she like always said, yea totally. Then she sent me an email saying "Sorry if I am misjudging here...but for the chance that I'm not I wanted to let you know where I am at. I have only friend type feelings for you and that's all I'm looking for. I want us to have a good year and think this might be important to clarify." Wut?
So a bit later I asked her over for a movie, just as friends, just to try to let whatever keep developing. She said she'd love to come but only if other people came over and that she doesn't want to do anything with me 1 on 1. I'm welcome to come over and hang out with her and her roommate or have her over if there is other people but no 1 on 1 interaction. The fuck?
So I back the fuck off and stop hanging out as much, only go over to her place with her roomate maybe once every two weeks. Then just today another guy told me I should give it a shot again because in a talk he had with her shes looking for a relationship. So to explain the situation we are in a bit more. There is nobody, nobody reachable or within 100 miles that is REMOTELY within either of our age ranges other than each other. Because of this he thinks I should try again and I did too.
Obviously she doesn't have the feelings required for a relationship for you.
So I asked her over for dinner. She said yes and very energetically/all the things we could talk about and do ect. Then she emailed me again after the fact. This is up to the point where all my friends I've asked wtf is going on have followed me, past this point they don't even know.
She emails me saying I "caught her off guard with the question" and I should just come over to her place instead because "she doesn't want to be just 1 on 1 with me." So I pressured her asking if shes worried she thinks I will try something or WHAT? To which she replies "I'm not worried but I just don't want to hang out just the two of us." Then the last part, the icing on the crazy cake. "Sorry I cannot provide a further explanation outside of what I have already given you, but it will have to do I'm afraid. Sorry."
She is intentionally choosing her words to be vague and confusing...I don't even know what to make of it. The most I got out of my friends were from two of them: "she's insane" and "sounds like she is playing weird ass mind games I'd have nothing to do with her"
Is anyone here crazy enough to understand this kind of crazy and make sense of it? At this point I just want to figure it out for the sake of it.
I'll be around if anyone has anything to say, going to watch a show
She's said it herself OP. She just wants to be friends. You keep pursuing when she is clearly giving you signs even stating that she has no romantic interest. You're projecting your level of interest onto her.
Just back off OP. You either be her friend and make no advances or you cut contact. If you go with route one, woman will find you more attractive if they see other women hanging around you. If the latter, you'll have a bit of drama but peace of mind.
>>16460657
What are you finding confusing? No means no. There are no mixed signals there. If you think you see any, that's wishing on your part.
>>16460721
Does not explain why she absolutely refuses to be alone with him. You can easily be alone with a friend.
>>16461076
There are mixed signals. She keeps accepting invitations to be alone with him and then backs out again. That's a shitty thing to do to begin with.
>>16460657
>>16460679
I'd say cut her out. It sounds like there might be even more bullshit ahead of you if you keep being friends with her. Even for "just friends" this behaviour is not normal and sounds like a bunch of crap to me. She won't even give you a real reason for it and freely admits to that? Not a good sign.
If you can deal with more of that kind of behaviour, keep being friends with her and stop inviting her to do anything alone whatsoever. Don't give her any attention outside what is normal for friends either.
I personally wouldn't want to put up with that as I value my time too much to be wasted on someone like that.
>I need some advice on figuring out what the fuck is going through this woman's head
hahaha didnt even read, i honestly think you gotta go about it in a whole different way.
>>16461179
>Does not explain why she absolutely refuses to be alone with him. You can easily be alone with a friend.
Probably to avoid more gossip. I was in a similar situation several years ago and everyone thought we were doing it, when in reality there was nothing going on. Nobody believed us, despite our repeated assertions because we spent a lot of time alone together.
It's annoying, but it's either keep each other at arms length or just deal with the rumor mill.
>>16460657
The simple truth is, you have a version of this woman in your head that doesn't match up with reality. You want a woman who'll passionately go out of her way to hang out with you one-on-one, communicate to you directly, and give you love. The woman you met at the job training event was an illusion, a mirage.
The only thing you can do is email her (preferably phone call or RL, but she's probably stonewalling those) something short and simple along these lines: "I'm interested in a committed relationship with you, but I'm getting the impression you're not interested or available. If that's the case we can't continue being friends." Don't let her waste any more of your time.
>>16461207
Then why accept that invitation in the first place?
She obviously can't make up her mind.
And if you can't deal with a few rumours, you need to grow up and tell people to fuck off.
