31 yo here. Yes, there is stigma. What's your reason or being one?

>>16460535
That's a tough one to sum up. I'm very selfish when it comes to relationships I never commit to them fully because I'm so apathetic towards the company of others, it always feels like I just tolerate women to have sex with them and I don't like that. I run my own business and I'm a greedy bastard, I don't want to commit to raising and paying for another human being for 20+ years. I don't want the burdens of responsibility and I'd rather pursue my own interests is what it boils down to I suppose

Bachelor here, but mid 20s. Gave up on relationships because I never wanted kids, and value my independence, and neither of those things seem to fly very well with relationships. People just generally shake their heads and tell me I'll change my mind, and I had a doctor refuse me a vasectomy, but I haven't encountered any professional stigma yet.

Bump this shit because I need advice on how to live a childless single life. I keep ending up in relationships.

>>16460570

I just love to know that there's people with the same mindset that i have.

Bumo

>>16460570
Well, that just means you place your value on your business and not on your love life.
My situation is a bit different, but this is your thread. I will tell you this though, you might seem to have it together now but come in your thirties things will begin to change. There is such a thing as biology, not in such a way as there are for women but men feel it to.
I say, for now, enjoy the rest of your twenties and enjoy your business but keep being open to other experiences if they might come your way.

>>16461180
Huh, but OP here, but every old guy that I hang out with, or work with always tell me they regret focusing so much on their love lives, whether they are divorced or not.

The happiest old guys I know are all single.

You sure about that?

I don't know too many 40 to 50 something year olds who are married and happy. They seem apathetic at best.

>>16461184
Not OP*

Fuckin auto correct.

>>16461184
I know several in both camps, so I'm not sure there's any set pattern.

31 here and yes there is a stigma, but it's mostly in the friends/family circle. I've never encountered any issues job related outside gossip. And that's gonna happen anyway.

I work in retail and see walks of all life and all are miserable in their own way. It's how you choose to be miserable

>>16460533
>badgering you about being selfish
It's fucking monkeys who set the world up with their scum and expect society to take care of them who are selfish.
Seriously you can drive a hummer,hace steak every day and for the rest of your life and have less impact on the environment than one kid.
Also tge worst thing about people with kids is that they delude themselves with the idea that they contriboot to the world and it's a sacrafice. Yes it probably is a lot of work to feed kids and such but honestly they do the whole thing purely for their own hormone trip!
Tldr: tell them you're an environfag

I'm 27 and almost certain I'll be a lifelong bachelor.

At this point in my life, through deliberate conditioning and perhaps some genetic causes, I have almost no sex drive at all, so that rules out a normal sexual relationship. Before you ask, I'm completely healthy, but very thin, so perhaps that has something to do with it. In previous years when I had a higher drive, it was still fairly exhausting and I was never a daily masturbator except in my mid-teens. Until my mid-20s a horniness would build up and I'd exhaust it in like a week long frenzy and then feel utterly exhausted.

Other guys don't seem to experience that exhaustion, so it's left me feeling quite conflicted. The thought of having a relationship with a woman who desires regular sex is honestly frightening to me, sort of like a "semen demon" sort of conception of things. I feel like I'd come to resent her for needing it so much, that she'd try and make me feel like less of a man, etc. I don't care, I prefer life without the constant annoyance of an active sex drive. I can focus on other things completely.

Anyway, I've only had one girlfriend, at age 17, and really disliked the dynamics of the relationship. It became quickly apparent that my life had to conform to hers and not the other way around. Instead of living my own life in my own way, I descended to her level, doing little but laying around watching movies and stuff. I can't imagine things would be different in adulthood, as I see my dad and step-mom stuck in the same situation; he can't just lock himself in a room to do what he wants, he has to hang around with her, doing nothing if that's what she's doing.

As a very individualistic type of guy, that is so repugnant to me, a real waste of life. I want to be in control of my own life, I want to be the decision maker, not compromising with a woman just because I am addicted to her sexually or dependent on her for filling a lonely void in my life.

cont.

>>16461754
Over the years I've become content alone. Whatever slight need I used to feel for a girlfriend has basically vanished, evaporated, been obliterated by insight and wisdom gained over the years through a careful study of life, other people, their relationships, and some deep introspection looking into what I really want from life.

Do I want to be attached to a girl, just to avoid my loneliness? Why not conquer loneliness itself, cut at the root of the problem, and be free? I feel like I'm more intelligent than other guys who get bogged down and entangled in relationships, marriages, fatherhood, and all that comes with it. I've seen my peers drop off one by one, lured into those traps, sacrificing their lives for their wives and kids. If they had any self-centered goals throughout their youth, they abandoned them for the sake of their new families. It seems very foolish to me. It's like this: we are born, raised to be concerned about ourselves, our futures, our success in life (whatever that may be), and then before 30, it's like we fall in a trap and have kids, and if we are good people we recognize the self-sacrifice necessary; we have to give up our ambition to work and focus on our children, who will then make the same mistakes. I want to break this cycle and live for myself, however selfish that sounds. It is SELFish, I don't deny it. Why should I "selflessly" give myself to a family that only comes to exist because I ejaculate in a vagina?

I don't relate to women, although I get along with the women in my family just fine. But I've never really had a relationship with women who are my peers. We have such vastly different interests, perspectives, goals. I also distrust them, I don't think women are romantic or deep at all, it's a myth; they are really the shallow ones, but their ease of emotional expression gives a deceptive appearance of depth.

cont

>>16461762
At this point in my life, age 27, I don't see a single thing that would benefit me being involved with a woman. It's all losses. Considering it this way, the choice to remain a single bachelor is very obvious and easy to live out day by day.

For the record, I'm not unattractive, I've had female interest, had females tell my family that "anon is so good looking, why doesn't he date?" and suspicions about my sexuality and so on.

The simple fact is that I spent the years of high sex drive content to masturbate to fantasies, and once the drive died down, the need for females just faded away. I wonder how many guys would get so involved if not for sex? Very few, I suspect.

I feel like my choices thus far are extremely sane and wise ones, despite how others may perceive me, perhaps as someone who has "failed" to find a mate. Seeing from their perspective, high sex drive driven, it makes sense, but they simply cannot comprehend my point of view.

I don't want kids. I see the world in a 'buddhistic' kind of sense: that life is inherently suffering due to impermanence. There seems no point to have children and I'm not afraid of "dying alone". Besides, if I someday decide to change my views, I'm sure I can still muster up enough sperm to do the trick. ;-)

I'd rather get my life in order first, get situated, and not rush into some circumstances that force me to abandon all to work for the sake of my new family. At this point in my life, it would absolutely mean getting a minimum wage job and slaving away nonstop, exhausting myself just for my kids. It's not going to happen.

I'm very content with my decisions. When I see women, I never feel a longing for a relationship. I have the understanding that "they are on a different life path", seeking simple things like sex, companionship, kids, domesticated home life. I have higher ambitions for myself and refuse to abandon them.

My advice to other guys is: don't be weak, don't give in to social pressures.

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>>16460570
guy who just wrote the long posts here, check out the pic, focus on your business man, you'll be much more successful than our peers who get weighed down by wife and kids.

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i'm 25 and also do not intend to get married or have children or have pets or a girlfriend. often i will fantasize about having an idealized partner but it does not track to reality much at all.
while spending time with a pretty girl is appealing to me i would be unwilling to commit to anything more than a few impotent dinner dates. i think therefore it would be better not to waste anyone's time

>>16461804
i think it's important to have some love in your life. not romantic love, but to care for someone/something else. it could be a fish tank that gives you a little joy each day, some finches, etc. pets don't have to be expensive to maintain. in my experience people who give no love to anyone or anything seem undeveloped personally. one guy i know who has a very loveless family, never had a girlfriend, and has no pets, has turned to a very devotionalistic religious sect, and it's obvious to me why - he never gave love to anyone, so out of desperation he gives it to his god. if he had just got a cat or something, he wouldn't have got sucked into a cult.

>>16461782
>this pic
>canadian talking about FREEDOM
Opinion discarded

devout bachelor reporting in.
fuck the naysayers, focus on your work and worry about other shit when you are happy with your bank account. thats how ive been doing it, and im pretty content. if all goes well, i should be able to retire much earlier than most. i have no desire for a relationship or children until i have enough money to give a family the life i would want for them. i have a few fwbs and such but an actual relationship would do nothing but hinder my progress

>>16461779
>I wonder how many guys would get so involved if not for sex? Very few, I suspect.
This resonates with me and my friends deeply but I always wonder what happens to guys in 20+ years when the sex drive dies down. Maybe that's why so many men tell us not to get married, because they were in it for the sex at first and they never truly loved their wives

>>16461754
Interesting, very similar to my situation. How did you lose your sex drive?

I agree with almost anything you said, but I do want it back, just to have that part of my life back. Not to get into a relationship, but to focus on the fun of having sexual relationships.

I link my being single to the same exact reason, no sex drive. It's pointless to me to get into a relationship right now, when I don't really have the desire most people experience.

Also, did/do you watch porn and are you still able to fantasize?

>>16461853
not per se, could work in synergy, or what if she's even more successful than you? Might learn a thing or two from her.

>>16461286
Kill yourself

>>16461853
what's your business, anon? was it a life passion or interest of yours or just something you thought would work out rightly? i'm having difficulty finding the right area to go into, my interests are simply not profitable in a business sense, and after reviewing a list of businesses i am left with the impression that there's nothing that i'd really feel a passion for sufficient enough to sustain my motivation over time.

>>16461869
It's difficult to say. It's like it's gone dormant rather than become impotent. I can still get aroused and carry out the deed but a deliberate mental desire has to precede it. It's as if I've gained complete control over it and flipped the situation from the physical drive preceding the mental desire. It all began around age 19 when I got into no-fap type of ideas, realizing that the addiction had detrimental effects in my life (no religious type shame to speak of, btw). From there on I had many failed attempts at quitting, only to be dragged back into it by seemingly inescapable physical drives. As time passed, though, the sheer weight of my thinking regarding the issue seemed to dull down the physical drive, and just like quitting a drug or smoking, considering the risks and downsides began to overpower the allure of the immediate pleasures. I would think in terms of, I can masturbate now, but this only reinforces the addiction, exhausts me physically, and (going off the deep end a bit) the loss of semen is detrimental to my mind. I kind of agree with ancient yogic/taoist type of ideas about the significance of semen and disagree with modern notions that it's perfectly healthy to just keep losing it year after year on a regular basis. I've also got suspicions that excess sexual activity contributes and or causes male pattern baldness. I have long, thick, healthy hair at an age where my dad (who was sexually active) began losing his, and he seems mystified about how I've retained it so well so far. It might sound terribly vain, but I want to keep my hair, so it's a good motivator not to get trapped in cycles of masturbation addiction.

I can tune into old fantasies that used to do the trick, but they no longer impinge on my consciousness unwillingly. No wet dreams, no nocturnal emissions. It's totally in my control if I do it or not, and that feels good.

>>16461874
i would definitely be open to that possibility, but i have not found a woman like that. and ive been through quite a few of them. id love to find a woman that was on the same page as me, but im not holding my breath

>>16461876
i am in the medicinal cannabis industry. inb4 dudeweedlmao. it has been my passion for most of my adult life, and it is legal where i live. my real goal is to be prepared for the day that industrial hemp cultivation becomes legal (again). i believe in cannabis as medicine, and i believe that hemp can save the planet in an environmental and economic sense (dont feel like giving you the spiel, read "the emperor wears no clothes" if youre curious). i cant advise you on how to figure out what business is right for you, as i didnt really go through that process myself. all i can tell you is that when you find it, you will know.

>>16460533
I'm a 29 year old bachelor and I haven't experienced a stigma yet. People might be talking about it behind my back.... but who gives a shit about that?
>Do any of you think it is truly regretful?
I can't speak for you, but for myself? Fuck no. Here's why: I haven't met the right woman (or man, I'm open to that too) yet. And everyone in my life tells me I'm weird so.... I guess I always accepted that it would be difficult for me to find a true mate. I'm OK with it for the simple fact that I'm not going to obligate myself to someone unless it's right for me. The end. I don't give a fuck if anyone else has a problem with that.

I've been with lots of people sexually, dating, etc. The most common reasons it hasn't worked out:
>Equality
People don't actually know what this means or practice it. Both genders are guilty. For example: I like dick too so my last girl and I experimented with a buddy of mine. We fucked this guy three times. I let her have male friends who even TOLD HER they wanted to fuck her because hey girl, go get that validation, it's cool, just remember the boundaries. Then she went on a family vacation for 10 days and tried to tell me that "she wasn't comfortable" with me going to a concert without her because "I would flirt with women." BWUAHAHAHA yeah fuck that. Equality.

>Expectations
Again, men and women are fucking up relationships left and right with their expectations. Gay men I've tried to date all put me in the "straight guy who secretly likes dick" box. It's like they can't understand no, I'm not gay, I'm bisexual. I'm not a straight dude secretly waiting for mr. gay and magical to come open me up to gayness. I will always like to play with dicks AND vaginas. Gay men don't like that, try to control me, etc.

Women.... ohhhh fucking women. I feel marriage in modern day US is unfavorable to men. I'm supposed to put my dick in a cage for you but you, as a woman, don't get that means you need to satisfy me?

>>16461911
>>16460533
Then there's the marriage and kids expectations as if EVERYONE'S end goal in life is to get married and have kids lol. I'm not against spending my life with someone and being faithful and having children.

I'm against the symbolic expectation that I have to register our marriage with the state in a legally binding contract that allows the state to come into my marriage, tell me where I put my paycheck, tell me where I put my children, and tell me basically whatever the fuck a JUDGE thinks is right for MY life and MY kids. Fuck that noise. Most women aren't willing to see that legally binding contracts with the government don't symbolize the love we have, they just get hurt and cry and shit.

I dunno, I've just never met someone who accepts me for who I think it's right and good to be. People don't accept me; they try to mold me into what they want. And what they want is usually based on half-baked Disney bullshit or what their mommies and daddies taught them via their own failed marriages. I'm being harsh, but that does kinda sum it up.

So when I meet someone who can accept that I would like to fuck them and we play with other people together, and that marriage doesn't = love OR commitment and isn't necessary, and that kids are not the sole purpose for their existence (though I would like to have them!), and that it's OK to like penis and vagina... then we'll see. I have yet to meet that person.

>It's difficult to say. It's like it's gone dormant rather than become impotent. I can still get aroused

Might not be so similar after all. Are you saying you can still get horny and you are able to control it?

I used to fantasize, but don't anymore, when I did, I also got aroused, heartbeat rising, getting warm etc. I'm not able or haven't experienced any of that for the past 10 years or so.

>It all began around age 19 when I got into no-fap type of ideas, realizing that the addiction had detrimental effects in my life (no religious type shame to speak of, btw).

Same for me, also felt guilt after I did it and then got such a rush I had to fap multiple times in a few days.

>I kind of agree with ancient yogic/taoist type of ideas about the significance of semen and disagree with modern notions that it's perfectly healthy to just keep losing it year after year on a regular basis.

Read the Tao te Ching at a very young age and agreed with being desireless. Now I don't like that idea at all, even though it brings tremendous benefits in life, it's like I don't have to suffer anymore, yet I also miss the positive emotions like the sex drive (which I miss most of all).
>I can tune into old fantasies that used to do the trick, but they no longer impinge on my consciousness unwillingly. No wet dreams, no nocturnal emissions. It's totally in my control if I do it or not, and that feels good.

Any idea how I to improve on that or tips in general? old fantasies don't have that impact anymore for me, it's like a few seconds of memory without any feeling.

>>16461184
AND THIS.
>>16461911
>>16461923
Every single man I've EVER TALKED TO about marriage, excluding my own father because he's smarter than to tell me the truth in the event that it would get back to my mom, has told me the same fucking thing about being married:
>It sucks.
>You have less sex and it gets stale
>And that I shouldn't do it.
No fucking joke. My best friend from high school looked me dead in the eyes a few months ago and said that if he could go back he wouldn't get married again.

Do you know how many times I see men bitching and whining about women... and then a few years later they're getting married? It's like... homie.... you told me in great detail how she was a selfish bitch and now you're marrying her.

I find the whole thing utterly ridiculous and kind of pathetic. it's pathetic in my book to settle and bind yourself to someone you aren't a good fit with because:
>she's the best you can get
>you're getting old and want kids
>she makes good money and is better than most
Do people just like being unhappy?

>>16461910
>i am in the medicinal cannabis industry. inb4 dudeweedlmao. it has been my passion for most of my adult life, and it is legal where i live.
Are you in Colorado? Where could a business degree holder fit into the industry? I'm not trying to serve people weed, though I would do it in a heartbeat if I could see how it would get me to where I actually want to go... which is:
>dealing the business fundamentals
>supply chain
>handling inventory levels to make them consistent
>handling the financial books
>staying on top of the legal changes
>planning the expansions, from finding the real estate space to construction to anything required

I want to do the high level shit because that's what I'm good at. Anyone can serve people weed. I want to use my business acumen to serve the *business.* How the fuck do I do that?

>>16461891
u still here, replied earlier forgot >>16461891

People will try to shame you into making the decisions they regret, so they won't be the only ones regretting it.

Just do what you want. No marriage or kids for me, although I'm not inherently against having a gf, but only if it's a good one. And I have a dog which is nice.

>>16461947
>>16461947
so much this

>Do you know how many times I see men bitching and whining about women... and then a few years later they're getting married?
"We'll have more sex when we're married!"
"If we have our own house I'll be more comfortable"
"I'll blow you every morning!"
etc etc

marriage is the scam of the century

I'm only 20, but the frequency of relationships I've had in my life has grinded to a very slow drip - in the end, I just can't be bothered with women. This isn't an all women are evil post, but it is a borderline 'All women are crazy' post. This is not to say guys are perfect, but our problems usually come from more...not even rational, but sensible conflicts, even when they are irrational, they're not as out of fucking nowhere or based on pure raw emotion as women. I just can't stand most chicks, and I don't say that as a fedoracore edgy autist, I'm a short little stoner who has quite the colorful love life, it's just as far as what's implied through, and expected of, committing yourself and your trust to another individual, it's not worth it unless you really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, know that person. The problem is most people are too impulsive and quick to snatch up a person to declare themselves official while they're still in the hedonistic romantic idealism phase of not having a clue what that persons inner quirks are really like. Hell, that's the main cause for half of this board's posts. If you've got high (but not impossibly so) standards for the women you allow yourself to be made vulnerable to, then goddamn good for you.

Chicks aren't to be trusted mostly, the good ones really are diamonds in the rough. It is party men's fault too, the society we've created, speaking of course of our more contemporary society (~10 years back, remember, I'm 20) has taken the last 30-40 year's worth of reevaluating gender and race roles and blown everything up to

a chaotic game of extremes. Girl's my age and in my age group 18-35 have taken ideas echoed by flappers and ran wild with them. Now, we have nearly an inverse of postmodern values. These days there's a rising trend that there's strength to be found in women posting nudes online, but doubly so against the men, or, err, in their terms, the creeps who try and get them for themselves. It's all a very hypocritical world that only benefits the most gorgeous of all of us. And again, this isn't some bashing hot guys post out of jealousy either, more power to them for succeeding at being born the gender which effectively lacks any social dominance (never you mind the patriarchy we're not talking setting wages we're talking flirting in a bar here) - it's just become the case that an increasing majority of women have become the types who are really, at their cores, immature in some way or another. It's easy to ignore when we're told, along with them, that psychologically, women mature faster, yadda yadda yadda. Empty platitudes and bastardizations of the empowering ideals that women tried to claim about half a century ago have created a misandric world, and I know personally this is why I try to be selective about who I date, or even get to know.


Now I don't know if you all have standards like me, but there must be something that keeps you from caring about women like I do, I'll admit, I'm a perv inside, and a bit of a romantic. I'm obsessed. Girls make up a lot of the time of the day I spend doing things, emptily swiping tinder, and the like. But I do so acknoledging that a relationship is indeed a two way street, and I'm just as much a gift to women and they are to me when we become an item. Know your worth my strong brothers. I'm not even high and I feel like I just high-rambled. thanks for reading though

>>16462130
I agree with what you're saying, just wanted to point out this

>It's all a very hypocritical world that only benefits the most gorgeous of all of us
this isn't hypocritical, it's nature in it's rawest form. The top 20% get 80% of pussy. The reason we overrode this is because in packed societies like ever since 5000BC this has led to basically thousands of years of continuous wars. With marriage we override this and say every guy gets one girl and vice versa. This placated everyone and was generally considered a good idea, despite urges to do otherwise.

I just don't feel like a woman in my life is helping my pursuit of happiness. Simple as that

>>16462149
Well yeah, but I meant hypocritical in that the mainstream values pitched to us don't reflect that. There's a kind of realism lost on us when our world is padded with EVERYONE CAN SUCCEED TO THE SAME EXTENT NO MATTER WHAT IN ALL FIELDS! It's like we have socialist ideas permeating the social sphere of our competition heavy capitalist fuckfest society.