Uh yeah, definitely a professional help kinda thing. But here's the rub. You can't make her go, if she doesn't want the help, it will be worthless.

>>16459518
>Is this a professional help kind of thing?
Yeah, this is something beyond you. She needs to see a professional, and I'm honestly surprised she hasn't tried doing so. If I were you, it would be mandatory for the relationship to continue.

>>16459521
>>16459524

She's been unemployed for a number of years, just doing online freelance work here and there and making just barely enough to help cover her half of the rent / utilities / food cost.

She can't afford it. She really really wants to go though. She went when she was younger on her parent's dime, but her parents and sister were honestly part of the problem (calling her fat when she wasn't), so any progress she made with the therapist then would be undone the very same day by her family.

Now that she's gotten away from them, the only thing stopping her is finances. I don't quite make enough yet, but I foresee a promotion coming in the near future that might help, but I have no idea how much professional help costs.

>>16459518
Like everybody else said, she should go see a professional because there seem to be deeper causes to her binge eating. If you want to do some research of your own, though, look up bulimia. She shows many symptoms of this disorder

>>16459521
>>16459524
>>16459548

When I say she's unemployed, it's not by choice. We're just in a bad area for work. She's very diligent about applying for positions and has had numerous interviews, but guess she's just been unlucky when it comes to actually landing it.

Thanks for your advice.

>>16459549

Yeah, I read up on it. I know now not to keep any bad foods in the house that might trigger her to go into a binge.

The thing that I don't see anything about is when she goes into her Demon mode. She quite literally becomes an entirely different person. Everything about her changes. Her manner of speaking (she stutters a lot and is soft spoken, but when she's in this mode, her stuttering disappears completely and she becomes very fierce with her tone), her facial expressions, everything. She gains this aura that makes her feel unapproachable. It's incredibly intimidating.

There's nothing online about dealing with that, so I've relegated myself to just giving her as much space as possible and let her go through the motions. If I stop her, she becomes absolutely brutal in what she says to me, although I don't take it personally since I know it's not really "her" talking.

Hey OP. I've had various eating disorders for 8 years now and what you typed is very easy for me to relate to. I'm more normal about food now and it doesn't interfere with my life as much anymore. I'm not sure how much use this is to you, but I'm happy to answer any questions you might have that you don't want to ask your girlfriend for fear of offending/making it worse/sounding insensitive. If not, I wish you guys all the best and I hope she gets past it.

>>16459564
Mental illness is scary, isn't it? My ex struggled with anxiety, and when she'd go into demon-mode with that, she acted much as you're describing. I tried everything I could think of, from consoling her, to arguing her points, to ignoring her, to leaving the room, to simply unexpected crazy stuff to try to surprise her into returning to normal. Ultimately, you discover that there's no rational way to battle irrationality. Your only hope is to get her professional help, medication, or break up with her. That's it. Don't waste your life hoping she'll beat it on her own. If she qualifies for any government assistance, sometimes that will cover mental health. Some professionals have what's called a "sliding scale" where for unemployed or impoverished people, a session costs a lot less, like $15 an hour. Good luck, anon. I couldn't take the irrationality and abuse in my case, but I did all I could to set my ex up for success before we separated. Hopefully you find some success.

>>16459577

Hey, thanks.

Did you ever have some kind of personality flip when you were in binge mode?

I don't know if I should be trying to stop her or just sit there, let her binge/purge, then watch her break down in guilt. It's fuckign painful to watch and know theres nothing I can do about it right now.

Any tips for someone tryign to support someone suffering from this? I understand they may or may not be the same for everyone.

I keep all sorts of snacks out of my house now 100%. No chips, no candy, no soda, no snacky stuff. Nothing at all. She says that helps her when she inevitably does lose control because it reduces the overall possible calories she can consume in one shot.

I also understand that this is not something that gets "cured". It's a life long thing that she'll have to live with.

>>16459584

Thanks.

Yeah, that "irrationality vs rationality" thing came up before in conversation. I understand that there's nothing I can really do when it gets to that point.

I'll do some more research on professional help. I know she wants it. Also she isn't actively abusive towards me UNLESS I become an obstacle to her. Otherwise, watching her is pretty much like watching a caged animal. She keeps to her self, pacing around, consciously keeping an eye on me. She will be completely silent unless I speak to her.

It doesn't bother me that much when I think of it that way, and it usually only lasts for a single evening. The next day she returns to normal, albeit incredibly weak from the lack of nutrients and very guilty.

>>16459518
Bullimia is a serious mental disease and requires proper psychotherapeutic care.

>captcha asking me to select all foods
lel

>Did you ever have some kind of personality flip when you were in binge mode?
Yeah. It’s hard to explain but for me I would ‘switch off’ and eat huge amounts of food really quickly up until I started feeling full, and then I’d switch on again, i.e. start thinking and feeling like myself and purge. While eating I didn’t really think about anything other than eating and whenever people have tried to stop me in the past, I’d get really irrationally angry about it (very out of character). It sounds like your girlfriend followed almost the same pattern I did, which is eating very well for a while and then eating something that starts it off (for me it was anything that had a lot of carbs in it) and my mindset then would be “everything’s ruined” and I’d ruin it as much as I could by eating as much as possible. Almost like trying to spite yourself for ruining your ‘perfect’ diet. It’s really illogical but it’s kind of like trying to punish yourself for being ‘weak’, ‘fat’, etc.
>I don't know if I should be trying to stop her or just sit there, let her binge/purge, then watch her break down in guilt.
As hard as this would be, you shouldn’t try stop her. It’ll just make her feel uncomfortable about what she does which adds to the guilt, and on top of that if she isn’t ready to stop binging she won’t do it. She’ll just start hiding it better. From experience whenever my parents found out about it, I’d just get better at hiding it. Plus it could impact your relationship negatively if she treats you badly while she’s in that mode.

>>16459660
>Any tips for someone tryign to support someone suffering from this?
It’s good she’s identified the kind of foods she binges on and yeah, I’d really recommend keeping it out of the house. She might find that she ends up finding new foods she ‘likes’ to binge on, so it’s just a case of taking them out of the house as well. You could maybe suggest to her that she keeps a diary where she writes down her thoughts and feelings prior to the binge cause there’s almost always some sort of underlying reason for it, and pinpointing those can help prevent it in future (this isn’t something I did personally, but I know a lot of people who had the idea recommended to them while getting treatment). Another thing I know of that gets recommended in eating disorder treatment, is called “urge-surfing” where as soon as you feel the need to binge you distract yourself (leaving the house is the best thing to do). It’s very difficult at first but you get better at it. It’s the main thing that helped me stop purging.

>>16459665
>>16459660
All you can really do is be there for her. I’d recommend not commenting on her body, “healthy” is seen as fat to someone with an eating disorder and any compliment can get twisted into something it wasn’t intended to be so it’s easier to stay away from any comments at all. Being a positive distraction is always good as well. Sometimes binging/purging can become a habit as well so if you see she’s doing it more at certain times, maybe suggest doing something that would cause you to be out the house/away from food around those times.

I’m sorry this is so long! Every case is different so what helped me might not necessarily be helpful to her, but I hope some of it is of potential use to you. All the best.

>>16459660
>>16459665
>>16459667

Thanks a lot. That helps quite a bit.

Yeah, she did tell me that often times, once she fucks up, she feels like "It's fucked, might as well just dive in all the way".

I try to minimize any comments regarding her image just in case for the reasons you mentioned.

She usually gets "triggered" by salty stuff and sweet stuff. Last night my brother offered her some ice cream because he only has a very very vague understanding of her problem. I tired to subtly offer her something as an alternative, but my brother went ahead and insisted that she try it out. That one scoop of ice cream ended up triggering her into her devouring 2 entire big things of dreyer's ice cream that my brother left for me (despite me telling him to take it with him), a box of costco sized crackers my brother was saving (I took the heat for that in her place by telling him I ate them all because she already felt guilty enough eating our food, I didn't want her to be extra guilty from getting yelled at by my brother), 6 cups of greek yogurt and all the fruit we had, which was 2 lbs of strawberries, 1 cantalope, 5lbs of watermelon.

It's a bit amazing how endless her stomach is. If it wasn't so painful to watch, it would be almost amusing.

Trying to get her out of the house is usually near impossible since these things tend to happen in the evening.

I'll do my best, and we'll definitely find a way to get her help.

Thanks a lot for your insight.