So my fiancee has a steam "friend" who chats with her constantly.
In the morning, while she's at work , while she's at school and basically all through the day.
Basically at least twice as much as we do. I've seen their chats and it's full of flirting and has been escalating to "I miss playing you" and heart emojis.
This is making me uncomfortable but she says I'd be uncomfortable with ANY male friendship she has and, she's right. I view friendship with the opposite sex as at the very least back up partners and at the worst romantic rivals.
But she says she wants male friends recently because"they're easier to talk to and less dramatic than girls".
They're only steam friends and aren't facebook friends or have each others numbers and she doesn't have snapchat. But can I really trust this? Am I just supposed to trust her while she develops a relationship with a guy who most likely is trying to bang her.
>>17070717
I had a similar situation very recently, OP. My advice? Cut this shit while you can. As her fiancee, you actually have some authority here man, fucking take it. If they're talking all day and sending flirty messages that isn't cool, it doesn't matter if it's on Steam or Facebook or whatever. I had a very, very similar situation to yours OP, and I fucking lost her.
>>17070777
What happened?
>>17070717
how do they "flirt"? because i've seen guys who accuse guys of flirting for merely saying "hello :3" which some faggots do to greet girls.
i dunno op, i guess i'm kinda like your girl, except i spam heart emojis to both girls and guys, so its not like i treat them any differently. i only "flirt" with my girl friends though.
but when i do notice guys flirting, i'll let them know my bf wouldn't appreciate that and thank them for whatever compliments they give me. they'll usually back down from there and disappear, in which case, is no great loss since they weren't true friends.
and in the case that your gf denies if he's flirting or has feelings for her; she is likely lying and in pure denial and "playing dumb", which a lot of female friends i know do to get away with attention whoring. i dunno if it'll make you feel better or not, but usually, it's just to use guys for validation/attention and they do not necessarily have feelings for the other person.
let her handle this one op. if she cheats, she cheats... then you dump her. it would've happened in the long run anyway. she will otherwise use the excuse that you're suffocating her, in which case, she is also correct... she should be "allowed" to make whatever kind of friends she likes, male or female, but hopefully have the maturity to set any boundaries needed to respect your relationship.
You should know better, OP.
>>17070777
Exactly your situation except on Facebook and I wasn't her fiancee. I should have followed my instincts which were telling me to intervene and put an end to it, but nope, didn't do anything, and now she's with another guy.
>>17070717
Chatting all day every day with someone of the opposite sex is cheating if you're in a relationship. I can already imagine her reaction when you tell her you're uncomfortable with how she talks to this guy.
Friends of the opposite sex are easier to have because of flirtation and sexual tension and that's it. Anyone who says otherwise is bullshitting.
>>17070809
This was meant for >>17070790
don't know if troll or really stupid and doesn't know that girls don't really play vidya stupid ass faggot
>>17070717
Unless your gf is an ugly cow, or the dude is gay, he probably wants to hit that. Guy friends are suitors waiting in line for their opportunity. Think about it, no dude is going to put that much effort into conversing or befriending a female unless he's interested in her. If she doesn't see that, she's incredibly naive. On the other hand, she might like the ego boost from having male friends because they give her extra validation. Either way, its not very respectful
>>17070717
Get ready to convert to Islam if you think she shouldn't talk to any man ever. You need to either get your head straightened out or get some serious evidence that something is going on.
>>17070812
Wow. You're going to go Peter Griffin eventually. Women leave when that happens.
>>17071039
Wow. You're totally going to get cucked because you think emotional affairs are healthy.
Lol at the "girls are too dramatic" line.
Only the most dramatic of bitches say this. Its because they can't get along with other bitches.
>>17071034
It's not like that, like go ahead and have a "friendship" with the opposite sex but chatting with your partner feels like a red flag to me.
It feels like it's skirting the boundary of respectful relationships and giving the opportunity for feelings to develop or a emotional affair to root.
>>17070717
>"they're easier to talk to and less dramatic than girls"
>>17070717
Lots of red flags there OP. Mark my words, she will cheat one day. Stop the marriage as soon as possible unless she repents and makes grand gestures that she'll change.
>>17070717
>they're easier to talk to and less dramatic than girls
A childhood friend of mine saw his parents get divorced because his mom met a guy on an MMORPG that she played with a lot. She ran away with this guy who lived across the country after getting to know each other from playing games all day.
Just because it's on steam doesn't mean she's not developing real feelings for him. If it makes you uncomfortable she needs to know that.
>>17071270
>his parents get divorced because his mom met a guy on an MMORPG
dude that's fucking hilarious. Was she with the Horde or Alliance ?
>>17071324
>Was she with the Horde or Alliance?
he's actually asking, the absolute madman
>>17071332
married bitches always rolled alliance
>>17070809
Not you fault is it? If she was a cunt who wanted to fuck other guys then you're better off without her.
>>17070717
She's fucking cheatin' on you brah.
Bitches are always quick to play your own insecurities against you to excuse their unfaithfulness.
>>17070717
>"they're easier to talk to and less dramatic than girls".
How is this not on everyone's red flag list yet? Drop her OP.
>>17070717
Tell her to stop you you are leaving her.
Be a man.
Does no one have girlfriends that have male friends?
>>17071558
Mine does but they were my friends first, she didn't go and make them on her own and she doesn't spend all day chatting with them. They also have girlfriends or wives themselves and we've been friends for years, I trust them like brothers.
It always starts with 'just friends'. It has only progressed and will only continue to progress. The relationship is not as innocent as she would have you believe and it is inappropriate. If she cannot see this, then she is not mature enough for a serious relationship, let alone marriage.
That being said, you cannot control her (nor should you try). If you've already been clear about the matter and she continues to disagree and/or is dismissive, it is best you walk away now. Don't make a fuss, don't make a threat, don't give an ultimatum. It will suck at first, but one day you'll realize you dodged a bullet.
>>17071617
How is it not innocent? I see their chats. They talk on the mic when they game.
>>17071729
Because it should be you on the other end of the mic and not her male friend who is emotionally involved with her. She's spending more time with him than you, it's only a matter of time before things escalate.
>>17071791
We different schedules, and have little time together. Her free time is opposite of mine most weeks.
Is making a friend of the opposite sex some huge red flag for some reason?
>>17071819
No, it's possible to have male friends if you're friends with them too. Do you talk to this guy? Do you game with them?
The opposing schedules thing is bad, it's going to hurt your relationship and it looks like it already is. Since you're not around she's found another source for her emotional needs already. Once that connection is made with someone of the opposite sex it doesn't take much for it turn into a physical relationship either through caming or god forbid if they meet up in secret.
Trust your instincts man, they're telling you something isn't right and something definitely isn't.
>>17071819
that guy wants to fuck her dude. does she have no female friends? what would you think of a straight guy with only female friends?
Why the fuck are women so disrespectful and pull up shit like this?
>>17071819
Propinquity
>>17071833
I game with him too at times but his gaming schedule mirrors hers we we don't play together without her much.
The thing that really gets to me is her buying other games to play with him / us. Like she got a us both a to play that he had so we can all play together. He's implicitly invited every time we game and they message each other in game too, like just them chatting. That bothers me the but she brushes me off if I say that it bothers me.
>>17072200
Yeah, he's crossing so many lines. Does he have a job or is a NEET? If you're getting one upped by a NEET something is definitely wrong
>>17072590
Not that I know of, he has a job, a son and a wife. I've played with his son too.
>>17072597
So he's married with a kid, that's surprising, well I guess it makes sense, he's probably bored with his relationship and finds your fiancé more interesting than his wife since she's a gamer too.
In my opinion it's pretty obvious that an emotional affair has taken root. There's not much you can say or do to change her opinion on this I don't think. I would calmly talk to her about it and gauge her reaction. If she gets aggressively defensive about then you should really take a step back and reevaluate your relationship with her.
