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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything
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Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><Random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.

>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

>Brandon, that one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
>>
>fart guy
lost
glad he's included now
>>
Girls (Or guys for that matter)

Would you ever trust your gut if it is telling you that you will end up with someone who rejected you not even two weeks earlier?

(Note: In my case, my gut is saying that it will all workout with her in the end, though she rejected me already. I know it won't work out, but my gut is saying otherwise. It is just saying to be friendly with her, and everything will fall into place down the line.)
>>
Ladies, say you left your partner of six years to live in another country.
Say you told him that you are still in love with him, and want him etc, but don't want to come back to the country he lives in because no bad association with original country.
Say you want to be single for a while because you were in and out of relationships most of your life and you want to know if you love him for him or for everything he has done for you.
Say you told him that he should try and date other people to see the same.

What would you expect the guy to do? Accept shit and just move on? Or would you want some show of resolution and move to the country as well after a year or two?

As a side question, how much of those reasons stated above are typically bullshit (from a woman's point of view)?
>>
>>17086231
>trust your gut if it is telling you that you will end up with someone who rejected
No. But I wouldn't trust that as a "gut feeling" anyway. Maybe if it was my first relationship, since I was more caught up on disney type ideas about destiny and soulmates. After that you realize the supposed gut feeling that you're going to be with someone is more infatuation/not moving on.
>>
GUYS

Gift wise, would you prefer a practical gift (with a lot of thought), or a trip away with someone doing something you'd never normally do?

Women fucking love trips away (I know I do) but I don't know if a man would interpret this as too much of a romantic ideal projected by a female mind.
>>
I'm talking to a girl with BPD, she says she loves me but doesn't want to be in a relationship because of her mood swings and doesn't want to hurt me

We live 2 hours apart so it would be a LDR, we were supposed to meet this saturday but she said i don't have to bother

Should this be a red flag?

Thing is she has ''rejected'' me twice already, saying she loves me but can't at the same time, saying we shouldn't be together, yet a few hours later starts talking to me like nothing happened

I also want to know if this is proper for people with BPD to do. I really want to help her overcome this, because apparently not her or anyone she knows has done anything about it. I doubt she even knows what BPD is and that she has it
>>
>>17086235
sounds like a heap of crap to let you down gently. she want's to break up.
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>>17086235
Problem is here, she's confused about what she wants. If she doesn't know, there is no good way of telling what she wants. She might move on, she might quickly regret her decision.
Maybe she wants to try again later, but realizes LDRs don't work well. So she thinks it's better your both single.
Maybe she wanted to see what you think, and wasn't set on being single or having an LDR, and you could have had the final word.
Maybe she's just really insecure and doesn't have faith in herself as a good person, so she's doubting whether she loves you or loves the things you do for her.
Maybe she believes in fate, so she thinks dating other people will result the same for both of you; either you'll both want to be back together or you'll both find someone else.
etc.

Plenty of possibilities. They could even overlap. You could try talking to her more to figure it out, but if she doesn't know herself there isn't a lot more you can do.
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>>17086279
personally, me and my gf take trips away when we can find time to organize it so the whole 'trip and do things' is kind of a common thing with us, each of us prefer the practical gift but that's knowing that we travel. if you never travel, a trip is perfect,
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>>17086256
Probably. Though I have asked girls out in the past, and never had this "gut" feeling.

But seeing as it is say to just be friendly, then no harm done if I follow through with it
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>>17086279
not a guy, but i love gifting trips cause i fell like the most valueable thing you can give someone is your time and a bunch of lovely memories.
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>>17086281
you cannot help her. she can only help herself.

google resources on BPD, it will tell you how to set and uphold healthy boundaries with her, and also how not to fall for her idealization
>>
How can I hit on my uncle's nutritionist? She's probably a 5/10, maybe 2 years older than me. As an ugly neckbear, she is good enough for me.
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>>17086333
Try to start casual conversation until it feels you have a natural enough report that it's understandable to ask them to an event outside of the social situation within which you are required to communicate.
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>>17086324
Yeah, as long as you stick to thinking things will work out okay, and not specifically things will work out romantically with her. That part's fine. I just wouldn't trust my gut feeling about ending up with someone.
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>>17086328
i know i cannot help her, i at least want to make her realise that she isn't at fault of her mood swings and that she needs to go see a psychiatrist

i've also read a lot of information about BPD since i found out, and most of the things click together to what she's been showing to me (one day i'm perfect, the next she hates me and never wants to see me again, etc)

i just want to be there for her, so she knows i will never abandon her
>>
>>17086320
>>17086325

Aw, thanks for your input guys!

We don't get the chance to travel together much so I thought a weekend away would be a really fun thing for us. There's an awesome event happening in the city which I know he will love, so even if we don't get much else done it will still be a great weekend.

I think I'm just a bit worried due to the price difference. If I pay for us to go away, the final cost will be around 500, which I can afford but seems a bit over the top. The gift I was thinking of is much cheaper but isn't something we could experience together.

I'm really stumped!
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>>17086360
If you don't get to travel much, then do it. We do it often and generally split the price but have done it as a gift here and there and it's always fantastic. Not that there haven't been times when just a practical gift wouldn't have worked; don't feel like you NEED to do a trip, but a trip would be an excellent gift even for someone who doesn't know that they want one, if that makes sense. I didn't do too much travelling before my current girlfriend and now I can't get enough after she sprung a trip on me - I'm mad for the things now.
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>>17086340
True. I'll just let it run its course. If it ends romantically, then good for me. If it doesn't, then so be it.
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>>17086434
Aight so my first surprise trip, my gal organized the place to stay and paid for that, as well as set up a few days of activities (just planning the days etc). The big purchase natch was the accommodation, so that was the gift, and then we kind of naturally slipped into splitting payment of food and drinks r whatever between us, so the actual place to stay would be the gift instead of the entire journey coming down to you. i would say pay for the bare essentials of the trip as a gift, then kind of split it based on where you go/what you do, i felt too bad to let my gal pay so i jumped into paying for stuff
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>>17086188

Girls. Why do you feel the need to keep a guy around you rejected and got with another guy in the same time and make things like "Why did you unfollow me on X or Y". And what should I say?
>>
>>17086455
I keep him around because I consider him one of my friends. It's not hostile or anything.

>>17086281
BPD MADE MY LIFE HELL FOR FOUR YEARS. DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE WITH BPD UNLESS THEY'VE BEEN GETTING TREATMENT DOR SEVERAL YEARS, HAVE STRONG FAMILY SUPPORT AND SEE A THERAPIST WEEKLY OR MORE

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

>>17086231
I'd keep her on my radar, but I would not suggest pressuring her or putting aside other opportunities to wait for her.
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>>17086512
i'm the BPD guy you replied to

could you share your story please?
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>>17086351
>i just want to be there for her, so she knows i will never abandon her
Abandonment issues is borderline's biggest thing. Without treatment, she will NOT overcome her abandonment issues with just you loving her. The closer you get, the more she'll panic about you leaving her.

Please don't do this to yourself. I'm begging you. Keep your distance.
>>
>would you date someone with schizophrenia?
>should i tell about my diagnosis? (schizophrenia) to someone im dating?
>would you dadte someone with erectile dysfunction?
>should i tell them about my erectile dysfunction (caused by the meds)?
>should i simply stop taking my meds for a while?
>>
>>17086521
>Without treatment
that's the thing
she needs treatment, but she doesn't understand that she needs it
>>
Men, why would you tell a woman "You mean a lot to me" during a casual conversation? We're friends and he has never asked me out or anything. He continued talking and eventually started on about some other subject, so I didn't have to respond to that remark, but... what? Is that a normal think for men to say in friendships with women? I don't think I've ever said that to one of my female friends before. And no, he's not going through any sort of personal crisis or anything intense that I'm helping him through. Nothing about our friendship has changed (I think) and it seemed out of the blue. Was this his way of letting me know how he feels, or should I just continue like it never happened?
>>
I'mma go visit my hometown for the weekend and see my therapist here. Hopefully talking with him will help me sort out the feelings I have for the girl I got a crush on, and in general, give me some idea on what the fuck to do.
Because the "advice" I have gotten from you niggers has only confused me further.
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>>17086351
no.

a thousand times, no.

i just got out of an eight year relationship with a BPD. take my motherfucking word; you cannot impose your control over this woman or her disorder. you cannit make her see the light or help her realize jack shit. she does not love you; she loves her idea of a cutout if you, an ideal partner you will never become because her disorder cuts her world up into contradictions.

my girl "left me forever" about five times, and each time i let her come schmoozing back because she was otherwise really smart and fun and caring. but there was always always a devaluation stage when she was leaving me each time, which included delusions of persecution, which meant i got shit on for being things the opposite of who and what i actually am.

the final straw was her devaluing me after a conversation we had of her getting back to therapy now that she could afford it; she up and started telling people i abused her and was trying to convince her she was crazy, because plotting against her?

this, the day after she gushed to these same friends that i was the number one reason she was even a better person.

look. i had to tell her to cut that shit out, that SHE was the ONLY reason she was a better person; and that to credit all the good about her to another person would be to also credit all the bad, and niether were healthy or true.

you DO NOT WANT to be her 'reason' for improving. because all hell will chase you when she inevitably backslides over invisible triggers (a neutral response often taken as a negative one).

take the fucking advice here from everyone. be honest with your girl, send her a mebtal health pamphlet, and step on back and leave, telling her you need to respect her personal agency and the choice is hers alone.
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>>17086571
thank you man

>my girl "left me forever" about five times, and each time i let her come schmoozing back because she was otherwise really smart and fun and caring. but there was always always a devaluation stage when she was leaving me each time, which included delusions of persecution, which meant i got shit on for being things the opposite of who and what i actually am.

this happened exactly to me as well

it's going to be hard coping with her loss, it's the closest i've been to a real relationship
>>
Why the hell would my ex-girlfriend from over a year ago add me on facebook and when i go talk with her she does the ice queen imitation?
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>>17086598
She probably expects you to be a mind reader and her communication skills suck.

She's probably expecting an apology for something, or theres some question she wants you to ask her. But she doesn't want to be the initiator of conversation.

Maybe ask her if theres something on her mind, or better yet just don't talk to her until she learns to speak like an adult.
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>>17086605
I asked her how's she going and she said alright and asked her if she wanted to grab a coffee and she didnt even say anything
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>>17086520
We've had threads here in the past where some of us who have survived the whirlwind that is borderline came up and said how horrific it was. Out of the eight or so of us who shared our stories, I think there was one person who said they had a happy relationship with someone with BPD (and they had only been together for less than a year) and a other person with BPD who said how they had many failed relationships and had many years of treatments, was starting to see improvement.

People with BPD can be very smart. My ex boyfriend would say the most brilliant things sometimes. But the next day he would oppose himself.
We would have great conversations about self esteem, and jumping to conclusions, and finding empathy, and self destructive behavior. I thought we were making a lot of progress.

And then he would sink back into his old habits.
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>>17086649
i will try to find the archived threads and read them all
thanks
>>
>>17086649
>>17086520
Anytime I discussed any of my needs, like not being spoken to hostiley, doing any housework while I supported us and he was a NEET, cuddling, doing something together,
He would break down crying and start sobbing about how he was a bad boyfriend and I was going to leave him. Which led me to comforting him, trying to explain that I know he's struggling and I'd like him to try to make these changes, but that doesn't make him a bad person.
Black and white thinking.

Oftentimes I felt that I had to decode what he was saying. Was he agreeing to going out because he thinks that I want him to? Is he actually terrified of leaving the house and will actually mope and snap at me while we're out? Will we actually have to leave early?
And that's for things like, going to the store.

When it came down to it, I coddled him. Because he would get so worked up about simple things like that I just couldn't resist stepping I and helping.

At the beginning of our relationship, he did a lot of the going back and forth and believing I was just using him and thinking I was bad.

But after years of doing everything for him, he switched into the believing I could do no wrong, most of the time.

But he was dependent on me for everything. He would beg me to help him. And later sometimes he'd get upset at me for helping him, saying that I should have let him get through it himself.

Other times I'd try to let him do that, and he'd bring it up for a week.

>>17086531
It took me three years to convince him that he needed treatment. It involved me making the appointment, using his money fears about the noshow fee, lots of begging and literally dragging him out of bed. It's not one conversation.
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>>17086578
>np. and hey, me too, dude. i'm still grieving; hardest decision of my life. and i gotta deal with her stalking and drama-mongering, because of course i'm now literal satan for protecting myself.

hope she lets go easily; don't feel hurt if it seems like she does in fact let go easy, you do not want the opposite ("if i cant have you, i'll send you to jail")
>>
>>17086649
so sorry you had to deal with this. that is a terrible thing to recognize happening like here we go again fuck fuckfuck
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>>17086571
>she does not love you; she loves her idea of a cutout if you, an ideal partner you will never become because her disorder cuts her world up into contradictions
Shit, other BPD relationship survivor here. This is right on the money. Makes my chest ache.

You should be proud of yourself that you got out of that. You deserve better. Someone else deserves all that love and effort you bled out for eight years. Someone who will give you ten times the love and effort back.

How long has it been for you? It's been just over a year for me. Every month I feel like I'm getting a piece of myself back, and finding another piece of myself broken. It took me six months to get used to not stepping on eggshells around regular people. I'm still repairing the friendships that I abandoned when I isolated myself.
Has it been longer for you?

I haven't had a relationship since. I don't really want one. I don't know what a healthy relationship looks like anymore.

When do we heal from this madness?
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>>17086680
I got too good and telling him what he needed to hear to stop crying. But it's like, shit, we were doing so well! Don't break on me again!

It was hard at around the year and a half mark when he started to say, "You've been telling me that it's going to be okay, that it's going to get better. But you haven't made anything better! Stop saying it'll get better!"

Of course the next week he's telling me I'm the best thing that ever happened to him and that his life is so much better.

I chose to believe the latter. But damn was it hard to hear the first.
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>>17086279
I'm probably in the minority but I really hate trips and vacations unless I had an equal part in planning them or it's somewhere that I've been very adamant about wanting to go to.
>>17086549
I can think of three situations where I would/have say/said this to a female friend.
1. I had feelings for her.
2. It seemed like she was having a rough time and needed reassurance that someone cares about her.
3. I had just rejected her advances and want her to know that I still want her in my life as a friend.
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what does it feel like to be in a relationship where both people genuinely love each other?
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>>17086512
>I'd keep her on my radar, but I would not suggest pressuring her or putting aside other opportunities to wait for her.


Yea, I am basically gonna just be friendly with her and let it run its course, maybe invite her to hangout with a group of friends when we would go into the city in a couple weeks. (She would know 1-2 of them)
>>
>>17086690
it's been three months but i'm still dealing with her insanity and law enforcement.

and yeah, i hadn'trealized at all hiw isolated i'd become from my friendships because i always had to tend to her attention monopolizing and insecurities.

i mean, i only lasted so long in the relationship because i knew what she was at the start. i just didn't expect it to get worse, and was vain enough to imagine she'd never try to really hurt me even through all the passive-agression and attempts at emotional blackmail. i have schooling in psychology, so i had a way easier time than most, i'd imagine.

it's this post breakup stuff that is the real nightmare. had a panick attack at work because she had sent me a package in the mail and i had made the mistake of opening it before leaving. dirtied pantyliner. classy.

and all this nightmare, why? because she deluded herself with the idea that i severely wronged her, just by reacting logically to her then most recent devaluation. i basically, finally, had called her bluff.

and man, it just scares me that the disorder becomes psychosis when left untreated, because that's how crazy shit ends up in the news and i don't want to die. =_=

god fucking speed, anons. the lesson you should all take away from this is if something seems too good to be true; it is. and people live in shades of gray, and yes you will have to accept flaws in relationships and learn how to conpromise and only keep an eye out for that bpd-spurred idealized lovey rush feeling in order to goddamn avoid it.
>>
>>17086188

Question girls:

Do girls pick on other girls in the bathrooms at school? What kind of stuff do they do which might not seem that obvious?
>>
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The girl I got a crush on is online in facebook, and I want to say something to her, but I don't fucking know what. I don't want to fuck this shit up any further than it already is.
I got nothing witty to say, nothing interesting to talk about with her, I got absolutely fucking nothing. She can probably chat with a dozen more interesting guys than me, so what's the fucking point. I'm just a boring fucking creep.

At this rate, I am gonna shove a knife into my head in hopes of killing the parts of my brain that are causing me these feelings for her. They have made my life so fucking difficult. I can't focus on my studies, sleep properly, I'm anxious as shit all the time when I am not with her, and have started to hate my room mate.
How do I fucking kill these feelings, seeing how she probably doesn't even like me?

I feel like I am going fucking insane here. Since yesterday, I have wanted to kill myself for the first time in months. Thank god I'll be seeing my therapist in a few days.
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>>17086702
believe neither; you are being groomed. don't let your vanity convince you to stay in an abusive situation (present tense?)
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I have a crush on one of my friends, the thing is I think she might be a lesbian. She have like a pixie cut and dyes her hair a lot. How can I tell if she'd be into me?
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>>17086720
love is a decision, not an element like the weather. a lot of things go into two people deciding to sustain purposeful 'genuine' love, after the infatuation or lust or fascination fades.

i genuinely love my best friend, even though it is not romantic we will be in each other's lives until we die, because we act with purpose and remain in each others lives. that's love, that's choosing to put another person as priority.

romantic relationship is choosing to put that person as priority over all other people, including yourself. having thatbreciprocated is entirely up to your partner; and since love is a choice then they can choose to not do that and you can choose to move on from that selfish dick who thenk his shit dont stank et c
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>>17086745
Oh you're the dried pantiliner guy!
I saw your thread but I didn't get the chance to finish it or respond. Did you end up reporting it?

Three months, damn. It'll get better, believe me. Find all those friends and just be straight about how you feel awful about xyz that you did to them while you were with her. Everyone's forgiven me so far and have just been grateful that I'm out of the relationship.

I hate it when it gets into the workplace! I almost lost my job over the huge plummet in the months after the break. Realizing all the craziness and getting out of denial. It was one wave after another.

His dad came in my workplace to say hi. The dad always considered us friends, but he was also batshit. I sobbed in the bathroom until the end of my shift.

Tell your boss about this, if you haven't already, so they know not to let her or her family in.
>>
>>17086760
Naw, I'm still the other BPD survivor. I haven't heard from him since last fall.
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>Talking to a woman, all is good she's calling me cute names and shit
>I tell her to come for a walk to show her something
>she says 'alright'
>Tell her I'm busy ask her if she's really down for it because I forgot I had work
>No reply but I got the conversation moving again

Since then she's been texting without emojis and being abit distant. I just wanted to see if she really wanted to or was just being polite..

Did I fuck up?
>>
>>17086726

Actually, this is another question (For Girls)


would you feel strange if a guy that you rejected asked you to hangout with a group of friends, including some mutual friends (Just as Friends, nothing more)
>>
>>17086781
By asking her out.
>>
>brought up hanging out with a girl after class about 2 months ago
>I was awkward/clumsy which turned her off
>she also thought I was 18 instead of 22 when we first started talking about hanging out that day; found out later in the conversation that I'm 22
>conversation ended with her having me put my number in her phone
>never heard from her

fast forward to today:

>talked to her after class
>standard "how've you been?"
>shared some of my interests and she shared hers; mentioned that I've been going to a poetry club; she asked me if I've been going as a new thing or if it's something I'm developing (something I'm developing)
>a few times during the conversation we brushed shoulders; she didn't seem to act revolted or jerk away; kind of lingered I guess

This is good right? I think today's conversation helped her realize that our interests are pretty similar (we both like art, visual art, literature (she likes French; I like English)). Was the shoulder brushing flirting?
>>
this goes out to anyone
I know getting a girlfriend won't make things better
and I can put my head up and walk forward
someone tell me getting a girlfriend won't make things better
>>
What does it mean if a girl never brings up her boyfriend to you, despite you asking her out on a date (and using the word "date"), but mentions him to other guys that ask her out? And no, she didn't go out with me - she told me she was busy.

Tl;dr:

>asked girl out on date
>tells me she's busy
>friend asks her out a couple days later
>"oh sorry anon, i have a boyfriend."
>he relays that to me
>girl and i still talk every now and then with a lot of tension whenever face to face

am i the backup boyfriend?
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>>17086814
I don't want to make things weird between us. I really like hanging out with her
>>
>>17086786
i did report it and i'm still gonna ruin her online presence (/petty)

yeah, my bosses know. i slacked hard on my job but top dog was like BRO YOU GOT THE FLU OR so i let them know what was going on.

and yeah, everybody around me is super supportive. my roomy told me flat he hated the way i called myself an asshole or jerk because that's what she kept calling me (FOR TEH CRIEM OF giving her honest feedback on a painting, that she asked for, that got so bad as 'i think the neck looks a little too long' and 'why are you asking me, i don't paint'. THAT MELTDOWN; WOW. ZERO TO VELOCIRAPTOR.) and i sorta started to believe it, me being too callous or what.

aside from the righteous internet counter-stalking, i guess i'm actually a kind person. i despise liars and adults who try to shift blame, though, so, my ex is definitely on shitlist now. especially after the way she treated her roomy, who even for a mfm couldn't stand the tantrums.

so you might know that your BPD isn't going to have any real or good or lasting relationships, anon. and maybe you think you should feel sad or ever remotely responsible; nawp. they are not people; they are tornadoes who cry about all the brittle houses they try to make home.
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So I'm moving into a new place next month for the summer, its a college student community and I noticed theres amount of international students there. Particularly asian girls, which I like a lot. (not just physically, I like how a lot of them are academically focused like I am) Whats the best way to try and become friends with any I see/want to smash?
>>
>>17086820
having a girl persue you would definitely inspire you to improve your situation, to shine as bright to meet her expectations.

it's the best feeling in the world, being wanted.

but persuing a girlfriend just to fill a void will not at all make anything better. patch the hole, then look around for anyone making eyes atchu
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>>17086820
Nothing will make things better.
We are all here just to suffer.
Unless we are brave enough to end our suffering by our own hands.
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>>17086825
You asked how you could know if she was into you. That's how.
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>>17086859
>it's the best feeling in the world, being wanted
I'm wanted, but I don't return it
>>17086868
>unless we are brave enough to end the suffering
and you're right
just have to focus on myself

thanks for the replies
>>
>>17086690
>When do we heal from this madness?
different anon here, can be found regularly ranting about bpd people on /adv/
its been 9-10 months for me, ive made very minimal improvement. i see friends from time to time, people know my story (no specifics, i keep that shit to myself), but i still have extreme difficulty trusting anyone other than my immediate family. i do well enough as far as girls go, but the thought of a relationship instantly sets off the nope.exe protocol. when i meet up with a girl, its show up->fuck with reckless abandon->leave. i dont talk about this shit with people other than on here, so i dont have much frame of reference as to the recovery period from this shit. best i can say is keep moving, stay busy, get paid. that way, youll at least have something to show for this period of time instead of just remembering it as a fucked up patch of feeling weird and shitty.

>>17086745
'_'7
>>
Guys, When you're dating someone secretly from your parents or you're just hiring an escort wanting to remain anonymous do you need another phone thats prepaid or can you use your same phone with a different sim card thats prepaid?
>>
>>17086982
Are you on their cellphone plan or something? Seems a bit paranoid
>>
>>17086996
Yes so do I just need to switch plans and get another sim card?
>>
>>17086859
>having a girl persue you would definitely inspire you to improve your situation, to shine as bright to meet her expectations.
Not for everyone. I've had several girls pursue me before but it never led to me trying to improve myself. Maybe it'd work for normies.
>>
>>17087011
Another sim should be fine
>>
Girls how bad is it if a guy tells you they like you when they're drunk?

Gonna be at a party this weekend with this one girl I probably wouldn't see in a few months (semester ending) so I'm gonna tell her I really like her. Is it bad if me/both of us are drunk when I do it?
>>
How common is borderline personality disorder? I'm talking to a girl who talked to a psychiatrist and she might have it. Every time someone says they're talking to a girl with bpd I think it'll they're talking to her (fuckin stupid right), but also its seemed to come up a lot on adv recently, no?
>>
>>17086781
>I have a crush on one of my friends, the thing is I think she might be a lesbian. How can I tell if she'd be into me?
>I don't want to make things weird.
Ask her out.

I say this as a guy whose best friend is a lesbian.

I see dudes orbit her all the time, and have even had to bounce/run interference for guys who don't understand "No" and "I'm gay" doesn't mean "try harder".

In order of annoying it goes:

Guy shows interest and asks her out >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Guy Orbits >> Guy doesn't know how to fuck off.

To be honest, the guy who orbits gets made fun of about as much as the guy who doesn't know how to fuck off--because he is equally as annoying/disrespectful in a passive-aggressive way as the guy who doesn't know how to fuck off.

Asking someone out doesn't make things weird. You being weird about it makes it weird.

>>17086549
>Men, why would you tell a woman "You mean a lot to me" during a casual conversation?

If you're a close friend, i might just say it because I thought it (My filter is very low when it comes to things I think are positive thoughts/emotions). I'm actually probably more likely to say that to a girl than a guy (because guy talk is a lot less serious a lot of he times). Off the top of my head out of my five closest friends I know I've said it to two women and to two men.

You don't need to panic and assume it means anything more than its face value.
>>
>friend has the same small circle of friends since high school
>dated one guy from that group then another one days after she broke up with the first
>second guy is nice, invisible, way more affectionate than she is and does almost everything for her
>she likes him, but cares more about her dog, talks about him like a guy who's basically there and isn't troublesome compared to the last one
>she has almost no sex drive and they rarely do anything

I read or heard somewhere that people with small social circles tend to date into them because it's easier and basically a commodity. Is that true that these things happen? The behavior of my friend made me think of that.
>>
>>17087115
dont do it, anon
scroll up a bit, you can find a few accounts of experiences with these people itt. people make threads about it all the time. its profoundly unwise to pursue any form of relationship with this girl.
>>
>>17087115
Google says there are 3 million cases in the U.S. every year
>>
>>17086824
bump
>>
Guys, what are the main reasons for quick ejaculation during sex?

It's never a problem, I'm just curious.
>>
>dating app
>Bio says "I'm just looking to speak as friends"

Is that ever true?

I'd suspect not since it's freaking Tinder but I don't want to fall into that skewed logic of "even if she says no she means yes".
>>
>>17087195

Don't know/remember if this is true of tinder, but that's literally the default setting on most dating apps.

As a profile statement on something like Tinder it's more of a "Stop sending me dick pics straight off the bat because I'm not that kind of person" type statement.

But there are people who legitimately do just want to chat an see what's around (There are definitely far superior apps for that purpose, but they're not anywhere near as ubiquitous--and TECHNICALLY Tinder is advertised as a "social discovery" app).
>>
>>17087190
Too excited.
>>
>>17087249

Ok, thanks anon. So I perceive this as an entirely positive thing. Is this the case?

Could there ever be a negative reason for it happening? I always found it extremely flattering but I'm not that educated in it and didn't want to be wrong about feeling this way.
>>
>>17087261
I can't think of a negative reason. Just being really horny.
>>
How do you get over someone when the only reason they rejected you is something fixable and you both want to stay friends?
I suppose you don't Oh well. At least I'm not miserable I'm just fwb anymore.
>>
Hi anons, single male here. What is a good way to respond when someone on Tinder asks me how tall I am? First time in years someone has asked.
I'm slightly hung up about my height (165cm, 5'5") but I've only had a woman cite it as a negative once. Otherwise I've had partners who are a foot taller than me and they didn't mind my height.

Basically, if someone is asking I'm going to assume 165cm is too short for them, and I know it means they are superficial.
I'm inclined to answer with 'I'm taller than some people, but not as tall as others. So how much do you weigh?'

Thoughts?
>>
>>17087145
Well she isn't nearly as severe as some of these other cases, seriously I'm not just saying that. It's not perfect I'll admit but it's not as bad as the others. Plus it's not an official diagnosis so she could just have anxiety and depression
>>
>>17087287
Since she's that shallow and you're on Tinder I assume you're looking for a hookup; nothing serious. Just add two to three inches, she won't be able to tell the difference.
>>
>>17087287
>>17087303
Don't lie about your height. If they ask, tell the truth. It is silly to think a girl isn't going to notice if you the same height as her, and average height for women is around 163-165 cm. If a girl isn't willing to give you a chance because she thinks you are too short, how do you think she'll react when she meets you IRL? You're setting yourself up for rejection in person, which is worse than online rejection.

Your answer is funny imo, but if you ask how much she weighs that sounds offensive. Maybe say something like "let's meet up and you'll find out"?
>>
Is Tinder used for anything other than hookups? I don't like one night stands.
>>
>Talking to a woman, all is good she's calling me cute names and shit
>I tell her to come for a walk to show her something
>she says 'alright'
>Tell her I'm busy ask her if she's really down for it because I forgot I had work
>No reply but I got the conversation moving again

Since then she's been texting without emojis and being abit distant. I just wanted to see if she really wanted to or was just being polite..

Did I fuck up?
>>
>>17087303
No I'm not looking for a hookup. My account description states this clearly. She may not have read it though.. If she's superficial.
>>17087321
I'm definitely not going to lie about my height. But I'd rather just throw the question back in her face and move on. I have plenty of other women I can talk to on here.
I'm fine with asking her an offensive question, considering I'm offended by her question.
>>17087324
Yes, it's used for people to match based on pics and a summary of themselves. Why they want to meet up is between the two individuals. Have had lots of dates, but never a hookup off it.
>>
I'm trying to get closer to a shy girl who told me she liked me a lot, but she's so shy she's reluctant to do anything. I feel like I'm going to have to try to gently pressure/cajole her into a date at some point (she has told me she wants a relationship with me) but I really don't want to make her uncomfortable.
>>
>>17087331
Yes. You're playing games. Everyone hates games.
>>
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been seeing a girl
haven't talked to her in a few days because she didn't respond to my last text so I think I'm getting ghosted
the last text was that I said she looked beautiful tonight
should I say something? act like it hasnt happened? give up?
i feel like if she would have said something by now but hasnt so I'm losing hope
my question is, girls, what approach should I take?
i don't want to give up before I know that she truly wants me to fuck off
>>
>>17087299
>isn't nearly as severe as some of these other cases
not yet.
you have been warned. when she fucks your shit up, you have no one but yourself to blame.
>>
>>17087287
I'm a turbomanlet and I just straight up tell them if they ask. It's better to let them know before meeting and disappointing them. I would prefer they know too but feel weird bringing it up or listing it in my bio because it doesn't matter to me. But my pics show full body and with friends and my height is pretty obvious so usually when they ask it's because of the pics.
>>
>>17087287
If you don't answer honestly you're just gonna come off as insecure about it. If it comes up the best option is probably always tell them straight up
>>
Girls

What would you think if a guy you rejected invited you to hangout with a group of his friends, (you may know a couple at most)? (It would be explicitly as friends, nothing more)
>>
>>17087463
Depends on how she rejected you but it probably isn't gonna work either way
>>
Girls and or Guys

This girl I have been seeing has confused the hell out of me.

>Started talking
>Went on a date
>It went good
>She asked if I would like to again
>2nd date was good as well
>Asks me if I wanna see her again
>3rd date was the best
>She doesn't ask me if I wanna meet again
>I ask her and the first time she said she didnt know yet but possibly
>That weekend we didnt go out but text most of the weekend
>I ask again the following week and she said she didnt know yet
>We didnt' go out again

I have quit texting her because I feel like she could be ghosting. But when we talk, she talks a lot and flirts and texts me a lot too.

So I'm confused.

Has she lost interest and is done? And if so, I have no idea what over. The 3rd date was the best to me at least. And she said she had a great time as well.

She even mentioned getting together with me again, just never gave me a firm time and date.

I don't wanna be the guy who can't take a hint that shes not interested and just linger around. But when we talk, she sends signals that shes still interested.

What is going on?
>>
>>17087476
She gave the rejection as just "I'll have to see when I'm free"

She agreed to go out with me the first time I asked, but a friend of hers decided to tag along and hijacked it. Second time was that rejection.

I do speak to her under friendly terms, usually before class or via text.


And by "hangout" it would be to go into the city for the day with a group of up to 6 total (1 or 2 from HS, 2 from our class, me and her)
>>
>>17087489
You could you know
Ask her
>>
>>17087489

Move on.

Thinking about it will get you absolutely nowhere because it could be absolutely anything.

I remember a few months back my gf was talking/coaching/co-authoring her best friend through her dating phase and some of the stuff I'd end up over-hearing... Oi...

I remember there was this one guy she was super in to, and he was incredibly good looking, really nice, and basically perfect. She was going on and on about how awesome he was and was head over heels for him. Everything was going at kind of a slow pace, but then it got to the third date, and they kissed, and the next morning he sent something like, "Good morning beautiful" and that exact moment, she lost absolutely all interest because she realized, this guy was fucking passive as fuck and she was the one doing ALL the work (she picked the dates, she pushed the convos, she kissed him first) and she didn't want that.

But from the viewpoint of the guy, i'm sure he thought everything was absolutely perfect and that that 3rd date was their best ever.

There's too much random shit this could or couldn't be, don't break your head over something you will never figure out the answer for.
>>
Girls, does it sound desperate to you if a guy jokingly says he's trying to impress you?

It's just goofing around, not seriously intended at all and the context is two people one-upping each other with nonsensical shit like pencil sizes. Don't ask, you don't want to know.
>>
>>17087521
well i did sorta.....i asked if there was a problem or if she didnt wanna go out anymore. She said no I worried too much.

>>17087522
Yah thats my problem with all this. It could be fucking anything. I feel like women are so finicky, the slightest thing could turn them off to you in the first few months.

I look back at things now and I'm like did I fuck up there. But I think realistically I'm just blowing those things out of proportion.

Because I dont really think I did anything out of the ordinary.

And I picked where we were going on 2 of the dates, she only chose 1. But she did always ask if I wanted to hang out again until the last time. But she would also make plans with me into the future...even up into this summer.

So it seems like we were really clicking. I dont get it???

And I kinda like her quiet a bit. Would just kinda suck if I'm walking away and shes not done yet you know.
>>
females-

do all of you expect guys to just naturally 'know' how you feel or what you want them to do and shit?

my ex broke up with me because i was 'oblivious to her feelings' , she was horrible at communication and never told me how she felt, instead just grew distant and shit.

my mom always gets mad at me for not taking out the trash, she always does it herself, and i always tell her that i want to do it only if she told me to do so. i hate it when she does it because i'd rather do it than her.

are there just girls that never communicate and girls that do?
>>
>>17087540
Pretty sure there's a question in the OP about this
>>
>gf tells you she had a dream where we were getting married but she totally forgot so she had to run around frantically buying flowers for the tables
What did she mean by this?
>>
>>17086529
Yeah, stop posting or else you'll wind up in the OP
>>
>>17086982
Are you Muslim?
>>
>>17087586
i posted again because i didnt get a reply last time...
>>
>>17087540
All women expect you to read their thoughts. That's only a sign, not the reason that all women are crazy.
>>
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>>17087287
Obligatory
>>
>>17087538
>I feel like women are so finicky, the slightest thing could turn them off to you in the first few months.

That's dating in general, regardless of gender bro. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Dating isn't a build up grind, it's a more like binary feeling threshold where you either realize it works, or it doesn't.

You're over thinking this shit, and that will only ever hurt you (your feelings, your chances, your everything)
>>
>>17087597
Could easily be a Fundy Christian, Hasidic Jewish sect aswell
>>
Girls, I was recently told by my gf that she's into scat. She wants to poop in my face now.
How do I tell her no without making her look elsewhere for a man that satisfies her desire
>>
>>17086313
I don't know if you're still on here, and I know this is insanely late, but thank you <3
>>
Would you date a guy with arms full of scars?
>>
Girls, would you like it if your bf treated you like a delicate flower? What do you think about this?
>>
>>17087639
She should understand that with a fetish that out there that not everyone is going to be into it. If she leaves you because of that then she's a shallow bitch that you're better off without.
>>
Which of these is a good strategy for an ugly guy on a dating site?
a) having a pic of his ugly self and try to contact girls;
b) try to charm the girl with his talk/personality, then send a pic;
c) give up on online dating forever and try his look IRL.
>>
Is it weird that I'm right handed but I jack off with my left hand?
>>
>>17086279
I wouldn't feel comfortable taking a trip without paying for it
>>17086549
could've been an admission of feelings, or just stating that he values your friendship
>>17086982
>hiding a relationship from my parents
I'm not a child so no
>hiring an escort
a burner phone would be standard practice if you're afraid of cops
>>17087190
over stimulated or pressure to perform
>>17087324
i wouldn't expect anything meaningful to come from tinder
>>17087953
C
if you are average or worse looking, you will not receive a lot of attention on a dating site
>>
>>17087526
Nope, that doesn't sound desperate to me, especially jokingly. If you seem like you meant it even just a little (because personally I say things in a joking tone when I sort of mean them, it's like a test I guess), I'd be a little flattered. For me, I'd give it thought afterward too and ask myself if you were flirting with me ("Impressing girls is something that guys try to do when they have a crush," I'd think to myself). I wouldn't think much of it unless you seemed to give off other typical love signs.

>>17087639
Personally I have a dumb fetish but I wouldn't leave a guy because he wouldn't participate in it. What's important to me would be if he accepts me despite it. So if my bf was fine with it alone, it'd mean A LOT to me. Also, I think your gf would be hard-pressed to find someone that wants to be shitted on lmao, so I'm not so sure she'd leave you at the drop of a hat like that, unless she's really obsessed with poo, I guess?

>>17087832
I'd probably find it cute and sweet at first. I'm a bit fond of chivalry, but eventually I'd ask to be treated as an equal.
>>
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Do women absolutely want sex? Will women date a guy who will refuse to have sex before marriage? Will it matter if I tell her or just refuse every time she ask? Religious reasons.
>>
>>17088032
What dumb fetish?
>>
>>17088041
I think Sonic the Hedgehog is hot. Inb4 shit taste, I'm aware. It's so embarrassing. In relevance to my recent post, I meant, I wouldnt make my bf dress up as Sonic or do voices or anything (although, poop is a bit more of a health concern). I should clarify, I don't think fetishes are "dumb", but some come off as weird, and rightfully so. That doesn't make them dumb.
>>
>>17086748
Not directly, but maybe it depends. I haven't seen it
Common stuff is just laughing at the sight of fatties or scoffing at ugly girls doing their makeup
>What kind of stuff do they do which might not seem that obvious?
Taking up the sink when she was using it for makeup to wash her hands but stay there talking to your friends until she goes away

Be really nice to her and compliment her, you can tell by the tone if it's sincere

Idk what else I've seen
I saw some girls put some shoes they found in the front in the trash
>>
>>17088078
Are you serious? Well, at least it isn't something disgusting.

>>17088099
Wow! Why are girls so mean? :(
>>
>>17088040
No. Some women don't, just like some men don't.
Be upfront about it and what you're looking for in the relationship of it's getting serious
>tfw waiting for a guy like you in my life
Question for you: would you date a woman without a religion?
And why aren't you picking out girls from your church or same religion? They'll absolutely hold out til marriage

>>17088104
>high school
Most people get over it
>>
>>17088040

>Do women absolutely want sex?

"Women" aren't a conjoined entity. Some do, some don't. They're all different. Stop assuming inquiring about women in absolutes and they will become less confusing to you.

>Will women date a guy who will refuse to have sex before marriage?

See my first response.

>Will it matter if I tell her or just refuse every time she ask?

Tell her straight up the first time it seems as though things might get intimate. You owe it to whoever you date to tell them and let them make up their mind about whether they want to date you or not instead of just rejecting her continually and leaving her to guess why. That's really mean, so don't do that.

I'm sure there's some rule in your religion against being an asshole so, I don't know, use that as your guide.
>>
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Femanons, how would you react if a guy sniffed/nuzzled/licked your armpits during sex?

Lets say he's just a one night stand and you don't really know him.
>>
>>17088104
I'm 100% serious, Anon. I understand your skepticism though. It sounds like something someone would say as a joke.
>>
>>17088167
>drunk
Wouldn't care, would probably go along with it if I was out of it enough
>high
Would think it was weird as fuck but just let it happen
>would think it was weird but let it happen unless it got like really fucking trippy and ratchet
>>
>>17088126
The way I see it, having a religion or not does not matter as long as nothing is being imposed on another. I wouldn't consider not having sex as imposing my religion on another person. There's this girl I know from university that seems really nice but I never actually asked about her religious background. But again, I don't really mind being with another person with a different religious background as long as we understand each other

>>17088127
>Tell her straight up the first time it seems as though things might get intimate
aight m8 thanks
>>
A friend of mine offered to help me get a job where she works. The plus side is I'd see her more often and it's closely related to my degree. The negative is it's a temp job and the place where I'm currently working is understaffed and I don't want to leave my workmates in a tight situation. However another factor is I'm a huge beta pushover and I feel it's easier to stay where I am than go through the hassle of writing up a fresh CV, acquiring references, the interview and all that (social anxiety, I hate doing this stuff).
I'm leaning towards staying but I don't really know what to say to her? I don't want to hurt her feelings when she's trying to be helpful like this.
>>
>>17088203
"I appreciate the offer, but I'm not looking for a new job right now."
>>
>>17086817
Bump?
>>
>>17088222
God it's so simple but I hate turning people down.
>>
Simple question for everyone

How influencial is an accent when you're looking for a relationship? I dunno I tend to really like Irish/scottish accents because heritage...but i also like Australian, and swedish

But all the people I'm interested in don't have aforementioned accents. Rather it's all the east coast american accent...which I'm totally fine with anyway.
I don't know maybe It's not a giant deal breaker
>>
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>second date with girl
>getting shit faced drunk
>she gets call from her roommate
>her dog swallowed and avocado pit and was in the ER
>they needed to transfer the dog to a different place but wouldnt release it until she paid the bill
>600 dollars for "induced" vomiting and xrays which didn't do anything apparently
>she didn't have the money so was freaking out
>i offered to pay and drove her there
>total bill was 1200 (i paid the 600 to the original place, she's paying the other 600 on a payment plan or something - it wasnt necessary to pay it immediately)

ok now heres my question
>want to ask her out again
>dont want to make it seem like she owes me anything

is there any way to do this or do i actually have to wait for her to pay me back before i can non awkwardly ask her out again
>>
>>17088285
i'm czech and i love american accents

accents = worldyness..which makes people interesting.
>>
>>17088424
>is there any way to do this or do i actually have to wait for her to pay me back before i can non awkwardly ask her out again

The balls in her court imo. Let her initiate the next convo. If she likes you she will. If she doesn't but you hit her up, she's going to feel trapped and obligate regardless of what you say.
>>
Broke up with my gf of 5 years almost 3 years ago.
The past week or so, I been thinking about her and want to talk to her.
Last time we talked was over a year ago. It was just her paying the last bit of money she owed me and that's it. A part of me hopes we can get back together and at the same time a part of me doesn't or just scared.
I know "Just date other women and get her out of your mind" or whatever.
Been on some dates months ago. They went nowhere or we didn't hit off or connect.
>>
>>17088428
Any specific American accents, or will any do?
>>
>>17088475
people change over time. you can talk to her again, but don't use your history as a basis of conversation. treat her as a new person, and see if you fall for her all over again.
>>
>>17088424
>600 dollars for "induced" vomiting and xrays which didn't do anything apparently
>she didn't have the money so was freaking out
>i offered to pay and drove her there
Dumbass. You should have told her to call her parents or use a credit card.
>>
This is for both sexes.

Have you ever felt that whatever the reason may be if you can't get into a meaningful relationship with someone else you may as well at least satisfy your own sexual desires even though you may dive into decadence?
>>
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>be male
>meet female 6 months ago in a club
>go out, be together for 3 months
>in the beginning, I wasn't sure about the relationship
>told her so
>she is happy, told me I could be the one
>we had our differences, different views
>still I start to love her
>last 2 weeks she becomes distant
>up to the point where she breaks up, because she says, that her feelings faded

Well, that's for the background. The breakup happened two weeks ago. As my ego was attacked, I deleted her on my phone and on Facebook. Yesterday my feelings overwhelmed me and I wrote a long paragraph about my state of mind and that I want her back. On a cringworth-scale, it might be a 5/10.

Now I want to know a few things from the girls here.
How do you react to such texts, where your ex is pouring out his heart? What are my chances to get her back? And why can girls lose their feelings so quickly, even when they were the ones wanting the relationship in the first place?

Right now, she hasn't answered me on WhatsApp, where I sent here the message, after restoring her contact information. Also, she didn't respond to my friend request on Facebook.

I'm also not that kind of guy to give up. I'd rather humiliate myself by trying to hard.

Do you have some ideas, how I can make things right?
>>
>>17088561
Are you asking for permission to jerk off?

>>17087827
If he had been in treatment for a bit, and was fairly independent, sure.

>>17087570
I often have dreams where something is "forgotten". It's usually because originally in the dream I forgot to dream up something important, so it needs to be added in the plot.

Other than that phenomenon, she's probably just thinking about marriage lately. Maybe one of her friends wants to get married, maybe she wants to get married, maybe she's scared of marriage, maybe she thought of it offhandedly.
Don't worry so much about it. It was a dream.

>>17087540
There's a certain degree of empathy and intuition that I appreciate, but I don't get upset when it doesn't happen.

>>17087378
One text, two text, no response, move on. That's the best technique.

>>17087345
What's your question? You are correct.

>>17087287
>I'm inclined to answer with 'I'm taller than some people, but not as tall as others. So how much do you weigh?'
Only if you want to never speak with her again.
I ask sometimes because I like having a mental image of who I'm talking to.

>>17087279
I bet it's not as easily put aside than you think.

>>17087299
PLEASE HEED OUR WARNING. WE ALL THOUGHT "OUR CASE IS DIFFERENT!" "THEY'RE NOT AS BAD AS THE OTHERS!" "I CAN HANDLE THIS!"
DON'T DO IT.
>>
>>17088619
she was a narcissist and there is nothing you can do to change her mind; please don't try. she'll just feed off the attention without giving anything in return. gj letting her end it, and not falling for the relationship ploy in thw first place. the fact she let you go so easy means she wasn't at all sincere and you weren't feeding her ego well enough.
>>
>>17088619
>How do you react to such texts, where your ex is pouring out his heart?
I draw back and think "oh Christ, this is an ordeal now."
>What are my chances to get her back?
Unlikely.
>And why can girls lose their feelings so quickly, even when they were the ones wanting the relationship in the first place?
The feelings might have been about who she thought you were, the idea in her head. Then she got to know actual real life you
>>
White Girls,

Why do you have such huge problems with admitting to having a lot of privilege? The fact that you're a woman doesn't negate the privilege that comes with being Caucasian.
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>>17088638
>The fact that you're a woman doesn't negate the privilege that comes with being Caucasian.
>doesn't negate
Lets just be honest here, it does the opposite of negate. White women are probably the most privileged group in the world.
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>>17087115
it's more common nowadays because of parenting style of previous generations; working parents or divorced parents are more likely to be impatient or distant and emotionally unavailable to their kids, which can seriously fuck them up. and few western households have the type of community building (gparents or aunts living under same roof to help out et c) so kids grew up raised by t.v. and now as adults have perma protagonist syndrome (the world revolves around their narrative, lack of empathy and trust).

BPD is common in a sliding scale sort of measure; that's why it's called borderline, it borders several other disorders and can develop into these if left unaddressed. everyone has bad moods and good moods, but not everyone falls into delusion to fit these moods, and not everyone has the abandonment anxiety that sabotages confidence abd relationships. bpds swing wildly from ibe extreme to the next; it's important to keep an eye out for their idealization, or good mood swings, just as much as the bad. it can be easy to get swept up in their good opinion of you. keep your feet on the ground and practice objective self-evaluation and you should be fine.

unless you suspect you are bpd? then, talk to a therapist immediately and take responsibility for your actions and emotions.
>>
>>17088643
I wouldn't go as far as to say that because that is just bullshit spread by people who prove that an average person doesn't know how statistics or studies work.

But when it comes to privilege, a black man way less privileged than a white woman, even when you take into consideration the genders.
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>>17088633
>I draw back and think "oh Christ, this is an ordeal now."
Well, writing it, I imagined it being a possible mistake. But I felt like I had to do it.

>The feelings might have been about who she thought you were, the idea in her head. Then she got to know actual real life you

That's exactly what came to my mind first.

>>17088628
Now I have to wait for a reply anyway.

I also have some stuff at her place. 3 Blurays, which I borrowed myself from a friend. I have to get them back, even if she doesn't give a fuck about me, I give a fuck about the possessions of my friend.
>>
>>17088638
because i was young and sheltered and dirt poor / had a terrible life

why is it black men have trouble admitting that they have privelege for being men
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>>17088660
See? You just can't do it. Tell me one thing. Are white girls getting constantly killed by the police in weird circumstances? Are white girls sentenced way harsher than black men? Does our prison population mostly consists of white girls? What is the percentage of white girls living in poverty vs black men living in poverty? Who has more access to better quality of education? White girls or black men?

As you see, even despite what you mentioned, you're still more privileged than a black men. You're not a victim a 100% of the time just cause you're a woman.
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>>17088638
Christ I'm thankful alcoholic Russians are the worst I have to deal with nowadays. I'd go insane if I still had to pretend blacks were oppressed when they're their own worse enemy.
>>
>>17088667
>>/pol/
>muh niggers are their worst enemy
>muh why can't they just pull themselves up their own bootstraps
>muh slavery and segregation had no effect on the economic and social growth of the black community so there are no socioeconomic differences between white and black people, it's just niggers chimping out
>muh statistics showing that black men get treated in a harsher way by the justice system are not true
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>>17088673
I remember when I was working on this project, this negro woman hopped the fence and took a shit on the ground. Note there was a portajohn she could have used too.

When we yelled at her she responded with "where the fuck else am I going to shit?". It was upon that day I truly understood the nature of the beast. You can whine about slavery all you wish, but no whip did that.
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>>17088680
>muh anecdotal evidence

I've seen white thrash families do way more nasty shit. By your logic it proves that white people are the beast here.
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>>17088684
I havent seen white trash break destroy cities because a burglar was put down.

Whatever blacks have gone through, so has every other race and culture. There is nothing special about them in past persecution, and their culture is no longer excusable. Maybe one day they'll stop killing each other in droves, but not today.
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>>17088684
I guess you also think IQ is an inaccurate measure of intelligence because it was invented by white people?

Even though asians score higher than whites on it?

>subsaharnafrica'saverageIQof60.jpeg

The mental acrobatics you libtard fucks will go through are astounding.
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>>17088285
I'm Scottish and I've got a very thick accent. The girl I'm dating has a completely different Scottish accent from a rural area I never heard before and I think it's amazing.
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>>17088698
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=le_uNGdpa4c
What a beautiful people
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>>17088693
I've seen white people riot because their hockey team lost.

So yeah.

>Whatever blacks have gone through, so has every other race and culture. There is nothing special about them in past persecution, and their culture is no longer excusable.

I don't understand how US history works and I can't see that if you put constrains on the growth of one community for 200 years, it's not going to be as developed as the other ones.

>>17088695
IQ is a good measure of how well you can solve IQ tests but even if we assume it's a good quantifier of intelligence, the reason Asians score so high on them is because they have access to better education and their culture puts a lot of pressure on them to excel in academics, while most black kids have access to shitty public schools.

But yeah, "mental acrobatics". This all would change if you guys just took one semester of a statistics class.
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>>17088703
>I've seen white people riot because their hockey team lost.
And how long did that last? How long did Ferguson, Baltimore, or any other riot of theirs last?

A night of idiocy is different from a lifestyle.

>I don't understand how US history works and I can't see that if you put constrains on the growth of one community for 200 years, it's not going to be as developed as the other ones.
Please, explain away the Chinese.
>>
Place your bets /adv/! Who will win: /pol/ or tumblr!
>>
>>17088707
>A night of idiocy is different from a lifestyle.
You do realize that Ferguson and Baltimore didn't just happen cause one guy was shot, right? Just like the first World War wasn't started cause one guy was shot in Sarajevo.

So black people riot cause of the unfair treatment by the justice system, white people riot cause favorite teams lose in hockey.

>Please, explain away the Chinese.
What's your point? What constrains were put by Chinese on their own people? What are you even talking about?
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>>17088713
>You do realize that Ferguson and Baltimore didn't just happen cause one guy was shot, right?
Yes, multiple burglars and rapists were put down. What a shame. Not my problem the community is delusional, like trying to say Michael Brown was spreading the word of Christ when he was robbing a store.

>What's your point? What constrains were put by Chinese on their own people? What are you even talking about?
You are aware people other than the blacks were oppressed, right? Yet only they have refused to improve.
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>>17088703
>IQ is a good measure of how well you can solve IQ tests

Its also an amazingly accurate measure of how functional your society will be as a whole. It's called a direct correlation, Mr. One-Semester-of-Statistics class.

>the reason Asians score so high on them is because they have access to better education

Occasionally there will be an asian that goes to one of those ghetto public schools. They score over 100 points higher on the SATS than blacks, on average. "Access" is accounted for by the statistics. Meanwhile, blacks attending better schools are still at the bottom of their classes. Explain that?

>culture

No. Once again, black suburbanites still make up the bottom of their classes, ranked against kids who grew up in the exact same socioeconomic conditions. Try again.
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>>17088701
I suppose my accent is closer to that (but not 100%, I'm not from that city they're from) but hers is a kind of slow rural thing. I heard someone ask her what the work canteen were serving for dinner once;

"Hey ***, what's for dinner?"
"Lasagne, lasagne, lasagne!"
"Any alternative option?"
"There's vegetable lasagne"

I wish I had recorded her saying it because it made me laugh so much. She said lasagne like "lahsawnya"
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>>17088724
>Yes, multiple burglars and rapists were put down
>guy choked out by the police (they aren't legally allowed to do that) cause he didn't wanna give away his cigarettes is a burglar and a rapist
>kid stealing a from a convince store needed to be shot in the back

>You are aware people other than the blacks were oppressed, right? Yet only they have refused to improve.
How were the Chinese oppressed economically by the Chinese people? Actually they're kinda to this day used as borderline slaves, that's why their economy is so good.

During the segregation most of the jobs and schools weren't available to black people and during the slavery, the regions who were using slaves had a pretty good economy.

You have no idea what you're talking about.

>>17088727
Look mommy, I'm gonna make a shit ton of claims and back none of them up with any real data.
>>
>What's your point? What constrains were put by Chinese on their own people? What are you even talking about?

The first Asian-Americans were literally slaves before blacks slave labor was widespread in America. Read a book about the transcontinental railroad.
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>>17088733
Google anything I'm saying that you don't believe.
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>>17088733
>kid stealing a from a convince store needed to be shot in the back
No, idiot reaching for a cops gun needs to be shot. The hands up nonsense was debunked ages ago. Why do you think there was gunpowder on his hands?

Oh what shall they do without such a pillar of their community?

>How were the Chinese oppressed economically by the Chinese people?
You talking about how their community was constrained. So was it the white man holding them down, or their own community? If the former, why were the Chinese able to overcome it? If the latter, why should I give a damn about their plight?

Very simple stuff.
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>>17088737
And?
How does the slavery of Asian-Americans in the US affect the economy of China? You're literally trying to compare the effects of Asian-American slavery on the economy of China to Asian-American slavery effects on the growth of the black community.

>>17088739
I did. Here's the first result.
>The connection between race and intelligence has been a subject of debate in both popular science and academic research since the inception of IQ testing in the early 20th century. The debate concerns the interpretation of research findings that test takers identifying as "White" tend on average to score higher than test takers of African ancestry on IQ tests, and subsequent findings that test takers of East Asian background tend to score higher than whites. It is still not resolved what relation, if any, there is between group differences in IQ and race.
Source: Sternberg ,Robert J., Elena L. Grigorenko, and Kenneth K. Kidd (2005). "Intelligence, Race, and Genetics"
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>>17088743
Calling it now, their next reply will be an ad hominem attack. Too many indisputable facts for the "progressive" to handle.
>>
>>17088743
>If the former, why were the Chinese able to overcome it?

How were the Chinese people who stayed in China able to overcome the effects of Asian-American slavery in the US?

Excuse me, or you fucking mentally challenged?
>>
what is shit testing
>>
>>17088750
>>17088747
I think you have massive problems in reading comprehension.
>>
>>17088747
>>17088747
>How does the slavery of Asian-Americans in the US affect the economy of China? You're literally trying to compare the effects of Asian-American slavery on the economy of China to Asian-American slavery effects on the growth of the black community.

Nah. For some points I'm comparing the different ethnicities within America bro.

> It is still not resolved what relation, if any, there is between group differences in IQ and race.

Was this supposed to disprove what I'm saying?
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>>17088750
>How were the Chinese people who stayed in China able to overcome the effects of Asian-American slavery in the US?
Great. You're mixing two separate posters like an idiot. I suggest you read a bit on the Transcontinental railroad, and why so many of the Chinese died.
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>>17088750
>Excuse me, or you fucking mentally challenged?

Called it lmao. And just ignore that inconvenient fact about Mike Brown, right?
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>>17088753
> I suggest you read a bit on the Transcontinental railroad, and why so many of the Chinese died.
>Nah. For some points I'm comparing the different ethnicities within America bro.

Asian minority in the US is 1/3 of the size of black community and includes all Asian etnicites not just the Chinese. You can't compare them, too man differences.

>Was this supposed to disprove what I'm saying?
Yes, scientists don't agree with each other based on the date so there's no conclusion for now. You're arguing with how science works.

>>17088757
>And just ignore that inconvenient fact

Said the guy cherrypicking one thing out of the ten I've said. I called him an idiot because he tried two very different things.
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>>17088761
It's not cherry picking when I'm pointing out you had the basics of what happened fundamentally wrong.

He was not shot for robbing a store, his parents said he was spreading the word of christ when he WAS robbing a store. He was not shot in the back execution style, he was shot when he reached for the cops gun.
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>>17088761
>Yes, scientists don't agree with each other based on the date so there's no conclusion for now. You're arguing with how science works.

Unpleasant scientific truths have always been censored by the ideaology of the time. That's how reality works.

Would you call Mike Brown an idiot for reaching for an officer's gun?
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>>17088770
Yeah, you're cherrypicking. You're focusing on the Michael Brown thing which is pointless to argue and it's like a 1/10 of what I said.

>>17088771
>Unpleasant scientific truths have always been censored by the ideaology of the time. That's how reality works

Lol what? You can't just scream conspiracy or PC culture cause the scientific method doesn't work in your favor.

Okay, Michael Brown was dumb. I'll give you that. What about Eric Garner tho? What about Rodney King?

In both of these cases the law offices broke the law.
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>>17088781
Eric Garner resisted arrest and had a string of arrests including assault and larceny. Rodney King was caught after a high speed chase while drunk. Michael Brown reached for an officers gun.

Are we picking up a theme here yet? The cops had gone past their reach, but this shit hardly exists in a vacuum.
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>>17088781
>Lol what? You can't just scream conspiracy or PC culture cause the scientific method doesn't work in your favor.

Is what I said not true tho? The cathedral censored Galileo. They had cathedral "scientists" dispute his findings.

Today's progressives would refute the idea that all races aren't inherently equal just on principle, don't you think?

What about Eric Garner tho? What about Rodney King?

Was rioting an apt solution to either case?
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>>17088784
Eric Garner was choked to death despite the fact that A) the police officer who did that had many complaints for abusing his power and shouldn't be in the force B) choking people by police officers is illegal in NY.

Rodney King, a drunk man, before being put in jail was brutally assaulted by police officers.

>Are we picking up a theme here yet?
Yes, a theme of police officers abusing their power.

>>17088787
>Is what I said not true tho? The cathedral censored Galileo. They had cathedral "scientists" dispute his findings.

You're comparing the World during which the Church had a huge control over politics and modern times.

>Was rioting an apt solution to either case?

No but are you surprised that people get mad when shit like that happens again and again and again? If you continue to slap someone, there's only so many times someone is going to tell you "stop doing that" before they punch you in the face.
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>>17088627
>What's your question

I don't know what the best approach to take is. I really don't want to make her uncomfortable but I know I have to kind of coax her out of her shell
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>>17088792
>You're comparing the World during which the Church had a huge control over politics and modern times.

Today's progressives would refute the idea that all races aren't inherently equal just on principle, don't you think?
>>
>>17088796
Yeah, but we're talking about scientists here who didn't arrive at a single, coherent conclusion based on the data.
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>>17088792
>Eric Garner was choked to death
He was put into a chokehold, not choked to death. The man was so morbidly obese and weak it's no surprise he couldn't breath. Even then he's the most innocent out of all of them, and he was nothing worth crying over.

>Rodney King, a drunk man, before being put in jail was brutally assaulted by police officers.
Who admitted he drove recklessly because he was afraid of being caught on probation from a previous burglary conviction. He put others in danger, and after his beating his behavior ceased. I say smash every drunk drivers skull, they're worthless people.

>If you continue to slap someone, there's only so many times someone is going to tell you "stop doing that" before they punch you in the face.
The LA riots were akin to punching a random stranger at best using your analogy. They didn't focus their rage at the police, but at random stores. That does nothing but validate every negative view someone has towards their community.
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>>17088808
>He was put into a chokehold, not choked to death.
He said he couldn't breathe and police officers, instead of releasing him from the chokehold and giving him CPR, decided to continue to choke him and allowed him to die. Also that doesn't change the fact that police officers in NY, because of cases like that, aren't legally allowed to put people in chokeholds. They broke the law.

>He put others in danger, and after his beating his behavior ceased. I say smash every drunk drivers skull, they're worthless people.
That's a lot of rationalization for police officers not being able to put one drunk guy in jail without beating him into a pulp. There are better ways to teach someone to drive reasonably, you know for instance ways that don't start riots.

>>17088808
>They didn't focus their rage at the police, but at random stores.

Yeah, angry people lash out in blind anger. Are you suggesting that only black people are subjected to human psychology?
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>>17088817
Whites don't loot when they Riot.
They just yell in drunken rage and pass out.
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>>17088817
>There are better ways to teach someone to drive reasonably
You teach someone to drive further spaced out and to follow the three second rule. Driving under the influence is a basic concept he already knew, but willfully decided to ignore. Throw them into the shredder if they can't follow basic concepts like that, this is not a matter of poor education.

>Are you suggesting that only black people are subjected to human psychology?
Maybe they're particularly stupid people then. Regardless of what happened to a man beforehand, if he assaults a stranger he is the one responsible for his actions.
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>>17088826
Using physical punishment every time a law is broken is something that tyrannies do.
>>17088825
Poor people generally use riots as an excuse to loot. Gangs as well.
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>>17088837
Hippies are the poorest people around and they don't loot when they riot, they sing kumbayaa to the bolice
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>>17088842
What? A) Hippies are radical pacifists B) There are black hippies C) Hippies break laws all the fucking time
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>>17088848
Ye they break the law, they don't mob loot grocery stores.
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>>17088854
They steal all the fucking time, especially the communist hippies. They just stay away from riots because they're pacifists. They run away during riots.
>>
First date with a girl tomorrow.

Should I technically treat this as a "Get to know each other at first, and if we like each other we kiss, and if we really mesh we fuck each other after steamy calorie burning kissing" type of thing?
>>
>>17088665
see? you just listed all the ways black men (and women, sandra) are victimized way harder than white women, without acknowledging all the different ways white And Black women are killed and raped that white And Black Men are not (by family members, by police, by domestic partners, by superiors in the workplace / millitary)

i have privelege as a white person
you have privelege as a male person
we both have privelege as first world citizens

one privelege does not negate a societal victimization, they are not exclusive

and classism? we don't have it as bad as the caste system in india, but name me a rich motherfucker who didn't buy their way out of jail for seriously fucked up criems (coughpedosenatorinthenews)

and naw, don't compare what victimization is 'worse'. women lose their lives every day over really stupid relationship drama shit, it just doesn't make the news because the media can't market a rally against an entire gender the way they can against the gubbment and police (i mean, rightfully so, but srsly do your research)
>>
There's a lot of /pol/ bullshit in this thread and not a lot of on-topic discussion
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>>17088709
>:o

4chan
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>>17088880
You're trying really hard to change the nature of the argument. You're grouping white women with black ones to gain oppression.

White women have it hard but they don't have it as hard a black people or Muslims. Your skin color is more important than your gender. I showed you why.
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>>17088888
quints don't lie
witnessed
>>
I'm confused about what this girl wants from me, but am unsure how to broach the subject. We have sex once or twice a week, but apart from that, never speak, and she only ever comes over if I hit her up.

I am fine with just being fuckbuddies, but I don't understand why she never contacts me first, haha.

Anyone got any ideas?
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>>17088896
she wants a date
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What's the deal with girls always being so giddy and seemingly interested in me when in groups but as soon as I talk to them one on one they give me the passive "nice" treatment? Could it be that this is projection and I'm just giving up too early? Or am I misinterpreting friendliness for sexual cues? It's not like I start seriously hitting on them once I have them isolated, I just keep being my old self. But it's like once they are by themselves they put all these shields up.

Why does it feel like girls always assume the worst? What is the meaning of this? I'm good looking, tall, definitely not insecure. Help pls.
>>
>>17088889
>Your skin color is more important than your gender.

did i not just say victimization comparison is a no go? 200 years of american slavery vs. 2000 years of abrahamic slavery, globally.

women worldwide have it harder then men, no matter the race.

it is my privelege, as a white woman to know that black women have it harder than me. it is your privelege, as a black man, to know that black women have it harder than you.

i am not at all denying my white privelege. i am asking you to examine and accept your male privelege. the violence and prejudice of the american law system is not the only measuring stick for oppression, it is only the most televised.

so for /adv/, practice unveiling your own privelege, give serious research to death statistics of women, even just white women if that's your fixation rn, at the hands of romantic partners or male family. not even rape; death.

then answer me the actual question; why do black men have such trouble owning up to male privelege? i already answered your question, for my part, my socio-economic status and general protected upbringing blinded me to the struggle of others. so what's yours?
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>>17088921
They're probably all just hyping each other up, if they're interested at all. Kind of like how guys will egg each other on to do stupid shit to impress girls, but they would never act that way if they were alone
>>
>>17088923
>>17088923
Do you wanna go name struggles? Let's see who has it harder. Your need to be the biggest victim reeks of desperation. I accept my privilege as a man but that privilege doesn't mean shit when you're leaving in the ghetto and you're black. White women die? When was the last time you heard multiple gunshots in the middle of the night? When was the last time someone rolled up on you.

Just say it, you have it better than someone.
>>
How big of a deal is a guys teeth if you're interested in him? Or would you just not go for a guy at all, even if he was decent looking with a great personality but had bad teeth?
My last two ex's have been pretty decent looking but we met online thus by the time they were aware of my bad teeth they liked me enough to put that fully aside, plus there's weren't perfect either but not a fraction as bad as mine. I'm going to start pursuing girls in the real life soon since I'm moving abroad for a few months, hopefully my being a foreign commodity in a sense dampens the bad teeth thing a little but I doubt it. I was going to get braces but if I did I would have to stay in my country while I have them for obvious purposes
>>
>>17088930
While we do live in a pretty superficial society and millennial women who are barely wife material to begin with (I say this as a woman born in 85), I've seen my friends who are younger than me with guys who have a lot worse going for them than bad teeth, okay. These aren't even unattractive women either; however you have to realize every woman is different. Just because you've been with good looking girls that accepted you for who you are in the past doesn't mean any woman you come across will look past every aspect of you. Generally, at least where I live, as long as you're interesting - that gives you some appeal. Dressing nice, smelling nice, being well groomed, there's a lot of things that can take attention off of your negatives. Don't get something done simply for women first of all, because if you can't find a woman who would accept you for as you are now then you really don't want the one you think will want you after you've "fixed" your teeth. No need to stick your dick in everything that walks, the person you're meant to be with will come when you least expect it like a shiny damn pokemon
>>
>>17086281
Dating someone with a mental illness can be exhausting. It often makes me feel like a bad person because of frustration and limited patience. You really truly cannot force someone else to improve, only support someone who is trying to do so themself. I wouldn't do it unless you're really in love with them, and from your post it doesn't sound like you're there. I truly would not recommend it, because if you commit to someone who suffers like that you can make yourself miserable for months or even years.
>>
>>17086748
I went to an all-girls boarding school and there were some nasty bitches. Holding girls down at night, cutting their hair, throwing their stuff out of the window, that kind of shit. I've luckily never been target (or perpetrator) of any bullying but I vividly remember hearing people cry at night.
>>
Girls: what's it like knowing you have to do literally no work in dating and having guys ask you out? Knowing that you never have to make any kind of move? Literally all you have to do is keep shooting down men until you're dream Chad appears.

I personally would kill to turn the tables for once and have women approach me while I reject them.
>>
What are my chances as a 5'2" asian manlet
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>>17088975
It's great.
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>>17088975
Well, my GF had to ask me out. I would never have approached her.
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>>17088978
I'd say high, just try avoid those female weebs and gamer girls.
I'm an Asian femanon and my Asian male friends are always going on dates.
>>
How do I not mess up my first time? We're both 23. I feel very embarrassed about still being a virgin so I am not gonna tell her.
I need some tips for my first time so she doesnt realise I never had sex before. What are some things that I should avoid or things that you learned with experience that work well?
How do I make her cum? Will she expect me to make her cum before I stic it in or before I cum?
I apprecciate any help or tip.
>>
>>17088986
The more you think about this, the more obvious it's going to be you're a virgin.
>>
>>17088975
Joke's on you, I'm lesbian and my date life is nonexistent.
>>
>>17088975
You still gotta work on your appearance and to be appealing enough for men to approach you.
>>
>>17088986

Make out, then give her the old lickeroo, then shoot it in
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>>17087261

Nope, he's too horny for you for his own good
>>
>>17089013

Yeah, "don't be fat" is sooo hard
>>
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Help me femanons. Anon who doesn't understand female thought process.
>Talk with female teammate all day at our event
>Invites me to dinner with friends
>they all leave and we still talk for like hours
>ask her if she wants to get dinner again later
>says sure, then says she forgot when I asked the next day
>Ask again. Get no response for literally a day, but my snapchat story was checked.
>assume it's a no so I ask my friends to go to dinner
>responds right before I ask, and we eat dinner together again. We talk about what we like etc.
>asks me to dinner again the next day, along with a friend who doesn't show
>Talk again for a few hours and I tell her I really like talking to her. Try texting again about music etc.
>Next day try texting, takes awhile to respond get a "gtg doing something"
>Don't text or talk for a week, and ask her to dinner out of the blue a week later
>takes a literal day to respond again checking my snap story inbetween
>assume that's a no, but I eventually get a response of "sure! I'll invite Anon and Anon too" which I've eaten with before

Am I being turned down by someone too polite to say No? I assume I am because I've done the same things when someone asked me to dinner or hang out etc. I just really can't tell at all. She always seems happy to see me and approaches me to talk, remembers details about me I'd forgotten I even told her, etc.

>TL:DR Anon can't understand Femanon. Send help.
>>
Femanons, I don't usually come on /adv/, but during my time with /d/ and /aco/ and /trash/ I've noticed that the more transformative fetishes tend to be more guy related, and fetishes where things are more about social or emotional state are for women. Like, you see women more happily jumping to being slaves or wearing collars or talking about bondage, but guys more in the TG, futa, and furry fetish threads. And that's what I'm curious about.

I'm sure that it's also skewed by the disproportionate ratio of guys to girls on this site, but why do you not see so much of women taking to those sort of fetishes? And if you have them, what appeals about them to you, and have you noticed the same thing I have?
>>
>>17089083
You are being used as an emotional tampon.

Ask her out properly or ignore her.
>>
>>17088975
I don't know. Apparently 4chan lied ( *gasp*) about being skinny just making guys approach me. Only dates I got were from making friends online and eventually asking them out. I wasn't turning down dates waiting for anyone.

It'd have been nice if just existing and having low self esteem meant people came up to me to tell me it's okay or to try motivating me. But I was just ignored. Not sure where it is people think that kind of thing happens.
>>
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Gals: Do you wait for your "prince charming" like pic related, or actively look for him?
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>>17089098
Plan on asking her out, but at this rate I'm sure I'll get a yes then a "sorry I forgot I had coursework to do" or something. I literally just plan on saying
>I think I already know the answer is no, but I have to ask. Do you want to get dinner at an actual restaurant or go to a movie together sometime? Like a date.
If she actually does like me I'd get a yes no matter how I asked, so I'm really just asking to see.
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>>17089059
Its more than that you fruit
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>>17089115

No, not really since women are the sex selectors
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>>17089105
girl making herself feel better:the comic
To answer your question Im fairly proactive
>>
>>17089117
>wear the right makeup
>have nice clothes
>be able to afford nice clothes, makeup etc
>have your life together
>look good under every circumstances
>dont poop
>have a pleasant, polite demeanor but dont be bland
>dont be a slut but be experienced enough to avoid pitfalls
>not crazy or sick
>baggage managed and kept secret
Dating scene is a market, guys choose a girl too - the only diference is the legwork and the fact guys have lower standards - but thats because most just wants som fu
>>
I'll try to be as short as possible.

>GF and I have been together fro two months now.
>After the one month and a half mark, we started to have some little fights about silly things like text messages.
>She says she's always wanted a guy like me, that cares and has true feelings for her, but know shes doesn't know if she wants that anymore.
>We still see each other, she still gets jealous when I go out with my female friends, but she shows less affection when we spend time together.

WTF? What can I do? Is there any way to get her out of this negative moment or am I fucked?
>>
>>17089101
>Apparently 4chan lied ( *gasp*) about being skinny just making guys approach me.
Yep. Losing weight won't help if weight isn't the issue in the first place.
Out of curiosity, have you figured out what the actual problem is/was?
>It'd have been nice if just existing and having low self esteem meant people came up to me to tell me it's okay or to try motivating me.
From what i've seen, this does happen. Keep in mind though that people won't approach and offer help unless you look like you might need it. If you seem to be happy and socially-integrated, nobody will notice (until high-empathetic people assert themselves more starting around 12th grade: they notice).
>Not sure where it is people think that kind of thing happens.
In the US it's pretty ubiquitous, seen that pattern across multiple states growing up (people actively approach girls who look lonely, yet leave boys alone).
I'd expect it to be prominent across western society in general.
Helps account for part of the raging disparity in clinical statistics by gender for certain issues (eg HFA, cluster A, etc).
And as for guys randomly approaching girls to ask them out: pretty much everywhere. Even online, males are expected to make the first move.
Great that you took that responsibility yourself, much better to take charge than wait and hope.

>>17089083
Hell if we know. Gotta keep pushing a while before you get to the bottom of it.
Keep asking her out, keep talking to her. Get more intimate in your conversations.
And ask her out to something 1-on-1, something more obviously a date, something she can't mistake (or pretend to mistake) for a friendly outing.
>too polite to say No?
Saying "no" (and explaining why) is the polite thing. Stringing someone along is rude.
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>>17089148

Women are ultimately the selectors. Guys can only choose who they want to ask out-3/4 of the time they get rejected. The final decision still rests on women.
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>>17089101

Seriously kill yourself slut. First off I don't know how you can be single as a girl-you have every advantage

>>17089117

And you still fuck up. Guys throw themselves at you and somehow you still can't find someone. This is like "IQ of potato" tier.
>>
>>17089161
Well I want to argue with that but I made a PlentyofPricks account 2 days ago and got a giant bucket of attention.
Maybe put yourself out there, femanon? Buy more clothes and fake confidence.
>>
I have a friend I have feelings for. He doesnt want to date me. He doesnt know about my feels. Hes going to be awkward to hang out with, wont he?
Maybe hes my Robin and my life is HIMYM.
Its not going to stop me from dating but I think I love him. How good of an idea is to keep being friends?
>>
>>17089153
Yeah I'll just straight up ask her on a date after dinner with her today. The worst that could happen is she says
>"No anon you fucking creep leave me the fuck alone"
and I never see her again kek.
>>
I don't understand what I did wrong. Ever since the evening of the day before yesterday, the girl I got a crush on has basically ignored me. Yesterday she didn't greet me when I came to the common room, and when I tried to talk to her she just gave short replies and moved to sit further away from me. Today, when I sent her a message asking about the trip to a museum she had agreed upon previously, she basically ignored me.

I don't understand why this is happening. She seemed to enjoy my company and I enjoyed hers. Someone help me understand.
>>
>>17089165

See my point?

I don't know why girls get so mad when you tell them they can never be lonely. It's not like that's a bad thing.
>>
>>17089182
>>17089182
Who cares. She sounds like a bitch so she's not worth pondering over. Start pretending that she doesn't exist.
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>>17089182
Other anon, anon. You won't know because modern dating is literally just ignoring people instead of saying No or telling them. Clearly something went sour and ur fukt lol. Don't bother trying to understand why people are that way. I'm sure you're a cool dude anon. Move on, and ignore her too.
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