My father-in-law cheated on his wife with a woman ten years younger than her, and got her pregnant. They maybe knew each other for a month or two at the time. This woman is a former stripper, and an ex-con with three other children from three different fathers. All of the fathers are dead. Strange coincidence.
Father and mother in law went through a messy divorce, he has to pay out the nose for alimony now (which he sort of deserves, but not to the extent that he's paying). He gets mad that I still talk to his ex-wife and have a friendship with her. I've known her for over eight years, she's still my mother-in-law.
I also have been more or less refusing to meet his new baby mama.
Number one, I can't respect someone who doesn't respect marriage. I take it seriously.
Number two, I don't have any interest in meeting her. My husband's family is big enough as it is. I don't know how long their relationship will even last once the baby's born. If I get to know her and befriend her, what's going to happen when they break up? Do I stop talking to her? Will my father-in-law get mad if I don't? Never mind how my mother-in-law's feelings would be hurt if I had a relationship with this woman.
Now that the baby's birth is looming, my husband has hinted that maybe I'm being a little unreasonable, and that it's becoming obvious that I'm avoiding meeting her. Should I suck it up and give her a chance, or stick to my guns on this?
>>16452279
He's already been punished by the court. Don't make it worse.
I say do what your husband is doing, for his sake if anything.
>in-laws
It's not really YOUR family, it's not really your business what they do. You don't have to be friends with them. But it does seem a bit unreasonable to flat-out refuse to meet her. Just go, be at your husband's side so he doesn't have to deal with his crazy family alone. Presumably, he does the same for you at your own family functions.
Don't bring this woman into your life more than you need to, but don't make such a big show of your disapproval. The guy's not your father, he's your father-in-law, it's literally none of your business who he chooses to be with
>>16452311
I still like and care about him.
>>16452323
My husband's been kind of avoiding them, he has met her and been to her house. He doesn't want to go back because I guess she called him "baby" the whole time and was acting weird toward him. A little too friendly.
>>16452334
I probably will have to eventually meet her. I would prefer not to until I have an inkling that their relationship will last.
It was hard enough when my dad was dating and constantly bringing new women home. You get to know them and care about them, then they're out of the picture forever. And they try to put you in the middle of their messy break-up and make you choose sides.
I'm not trying to make a big show of my disapproval, I'm just very uncomfortable about the whole thing.
My husband's siblings all met her and dislike her to varying degrees. She tries to come between them and their relationship with their step mom and is mean to them if they visit her or speak to her, so they have to hide that they even contact her. His two sisters have/had substance abuse problems, and this chick spent three years behind bars for trafficking hard drugs.
And I still find it very strange that of the three different men she had kids with, all are deceased. Two from drug overdoses, one from an unsolved homicide.
My sister-in-law got beat up and robbed by a guy she'd only briefly known, and this woman's response wasn't, "Let's call the police and file a report!" It was, "Don't worry, give me his name and I'll have him jumped."
>>16452355
Okay yeah. I take back everything I said, those are some very, very legitimate concerns. Unfortunately I have no idea what you could do about it.
Try to get her thrown back in jail, maybe? It sounds like it's only a matter of time before she does something illegal, call in an anonymous tip
>>16452362
I thought about it, because one of my friends is dating a federal marshal who could probably nail her ass for something. She's been smoking weed throughout her entire pregnancy, so I'm sure she's got some illegal stuff in her house.
I don't know what would happen to her kids though, since none of them have fathers. Not to mention the baby. My father in law can't take care of a baby with the hours he works to pay his alimony.
I'm also worried that, if she did have anything to do with her baby daddys' deaths, what's she going to have done to my father in law if they break up?
>>16452386
Yeah, that was my main point. It's not just an issue of "this woman is annoying and I don't want to spend time with her." It sounds like you have cause to be genuinely concerned about your father-in-law, and your two sisters-in-law who might be drawn back into bad habits with drugs by her influence in their lives.
But at the end of the day, unless a clear opportunity opens up to bust her, there's really nothing you can do. If your father-in-law wants to be with her, if they've got a kid together, well, it's not really your business.
But you're not wrong for wanting to keep your distance. At times like this, it's often the best you can do. You can't make decisions for other people, but you can control your own life, and the people you allow to influence it
>>16452403
Yeah, my father-in-law has all the facts on the table. If he chooses to be with her, that's his dumb choice. He also probably doesn't want to end up paying his ex wife alimony AND child support to this other woman.
All in all, I feel worst for the baby. I hope it's healthy and they manage to build some semblance of a decent life together. Just preferably not with me in it all that much. The full weirdness of it's starting to sink in with the holidays approaching.
>>16452279
Here is the advice:
1 - what does it hurt to meet his new stripper friend? you dont have to like her, just be nice and leave.
2 - its 2015, why do you still worry about what other people do in their marriage?
3 - How long do you think it will be before you husband follows in the old man's footsteps?
Advice - be nice, smile, start socking away extra cash, get the best divorce attorney in the area on retainer, make sure your name is on the deed to the trailer. don't buy any new shit like cars or let your husband do any of that, get a good job and improve your skill set. Wait for the inevitable cheating husband to get caught. Divorce, live much better life outside of this hillbilly death clan
>>16452424
>1
My mother-in-law will view it as a betrayal. And if this woman calls my husband 'baby' in front of me, we're going to have a problem. Beyond that, it probably wouldn't hurt.
>2
It's not so much that I'm trying to interject myself in others' marriages. But after months of crying phone calls from my mother-in-law, before and after the divorce, and the fact that this woman was sending harassing/taunting texts and fb messages to her, I have a hard time respecting her as an adult. I'm sure there's two sides to this story, though.
>3
My husband is very different from his father, and loyal to a fault. I've never once worried about him cheating.
>Advice
I have a skill-oriented job, and one of my friends happens to be the best family lawyer in the area. She would hook me up for very cheap.
>hillbilly death clan
My sides.
>>16452474
>My mother-in-law will view it as a betrayal.
She needs to grow up. You're not becoming best friends with the woman, you're just saying hello as you talk to your father in law.
You don't have to approve of anything she does. You don't have to like her. Meeting her doesn't mean either of those things.
If MiL asks, you're just trying to appease husband and FiL.
>>16452510
Ok. This is a pretty sound point.
>>16452521
all this...I am sure that your husband is a completely different person than his hick-sawed, knob thruster of a dad.
But fuck, this is exactly why even favella living brasilian crack whores pity white trash.
