Hey /adv/, Im a 20 year old kissless virgin male, never had a relationship. Im not bad looking or anything, but I am quite introverted, nerdy and a shut-in, so I never really tried or had many chances in the dating game (my fault).
I tried to explore an online dating site with an almost empty profile without any photo or anything, until one day a 18 yo girl from my city (with another empty profile) sent me a short message. We talked for a while and it went well, so I gave her my Facebook, and we added eachother.
She's not only nice but by looking at her facebook pictures I like her (she's not a catfish). We've been talking daily for a week, normally she talks to me first and we chat for hours. Yesterday I insinuated that we could meet if we ever felt like, then she asked me that when is "ever" and that she's willing to go on a date!
We agreed to go on a date after next week or so (after we finish our exams). We still havent arranged where or when exactly, the thing is that I have no idea! I told her I was improvising and that we should decide later.
This is challenging for me. I've never done this, Im a total newbie in dating. I'd really like to not fuck this up. Also, she's an exchange student so the date will go in English, and even if I can hold a conversation, it isn't my mother tongue so it's an added difficulty.
Wat do /adv/? I want to propose her a nice date.
She's not a party girl but she does enjoy drinking, she's pretty damn smart and a bookworm. I live in a big city in Europe, so I have more options like parks, bars, etc.
>Europe
Good, so you dont have to worry about all that stupid 'murrican >no drinks below 21 bullshit. Going for a few drinks somewhere nice, is always a good option. Since you both seem equally "weird", and you seem to get along in chat, just continue your conversation face to face. compliments probably help too.
And then ,well, uh… see at the bottom of my post
The only real two advices I can give you:
Meet somewhere in public! If she is a catfish or something else, you'll be safer that way, and if she isnt, she will feel safer, since she has now way of knowing that you are indeed who you are.
Just try it, and dont give up, if that one wont work out! I managed to extend the kissless virgin phase for almost ten years more than you, and that was one of the worst "ideas" I ever had. Stuff gets even harder when you are 30, and interact with "girls" who already had all kinds of experiences with men, and you are a clueless 4chan nerd.
Oh, and I forgot to add:
>>16437787
>She's not a party girl but she does enjoy drinking, she's pretty damn smart and a bookworm.
How about inviting her to a museum with you? You can still go drinking afterwards. As said above, I am not exactly the perfect guy for advice, but so far, and invitation to a museum always was received very well with intelligent girls, and you are not the 10th guy, going like >ay grll, wanna get drunk?
Shift your perspective. Instead of worrying about this date, worry about your next one. This is a mental task that will teach you to hopefully relax, but never relax enough so that you don't give up.
>>16437787
>>16437790
Appreciated, thanks for support!
It is a challenge and I think Im weirder than her, but I am trying anwyay.
Definitely going to be in public, since she's from another country (also european) Im thinking on showing her the city,
going to a nice park in the center,a museum or whatever and then to drink something.
Don't overthink it.
Most likely it won't amount to anything.
Meeting in real life is a different thing than chatting on a website.
I've got to realize this over the years.
Women who go on dates usually have more options than just you. You're there to get evaluated, to help them decide. It's not for your sake. It's for them.
>>16437822
I'm afraid this is right, nobody knows how it's going to go and I should take it easy, however it's the first date Im having so I cant help but be worried about it.
You sound real sweet, OP. I don't have advice but I hope it goes well.
>>16437822
So why even go on a date then? Date the kind of girls who aren't basic bitches and operate on this kind of basis.
>>16438047
Thank you kind anon!
Last bump
Being yourself is what got you here, so just keep doing that.
Everyone is introverted nowadays, it doesn't make you special. That being said, choose something everyone likes to do for a first date- arcade, dinner, a walk, fair, etc. Movies are the bane of good first dates unless you're trying to get your fingers up in them guts.
>>16438060
Most if not all girls do and SHOULD operate on this ideology and so should you, OP. There are plenty of girls out there that would suit you and its in your and their best interest to meet as many likely candidates as possible. Typically, if not always, thing you need for a relationship is mutual attraction. This girl obviously finds you at least a little attractive, so you're all good there. Now use this date as just another opportunity for interaction and continue to see if she's a good girl for you (SHE DOESNT HAVE TO BE). Dont expect much, go there, have fun getting to know someone and you'll be fine
>>16438583
Thanks, we'll see
>>16438620
That seems to be the best mindset possible. Since it's the first I've had it feels like "now or never", but it isn't like that at all. Thanks for the insight.
>>16438739
>Since it's the first I've had it feels like "now or never", but it isn't like that at all.
Was in the same situation as you. totally nervous and all that, and of course it resulted in me spilling my spaghetti…
Still, she agreed to seeing me again! So even if you are nervous, it probably will not be the end of the world. Not much more happened, unfortunately, but on the other hand, I also had dates that went 100% perfect, yet, the girl never replied to my messages, even after saying to my face that she totally enjoyed it too, and that she is looking forward to the next time.
Just be yourself (unless you are an idiot, then you probably should be someone else). If it works - fine. If it wont - you'll find another one.
