I can't remember the last time I was in a social setting in conversation and thinking "boy, this shit is even more intensely trivial, frivolous, meaningless, trite, shallow, etc than usualy conversation!"

Every one of my close friends is intelligent and enjoys learning. Having some drinks and talking geopolitics isn't at all uncommon. Theology and economics, either.

But even when I go to house parties with my homies, I don't end up viewing the conversation as asinine drivel. It isn't that everyone there is talking about exactly what I'd love to talk about- conspiracy, ideals, imagination, etc. But these people have shit THEY are excited about just the same as I am! It really does take effort to be interested in a decent scope of things- it is a good skill.

If I can suggest something; maybe you're not easily interested enough? You can find humor or beauty in nearly anything.

I concede it is entirely possible that you're an objectively interesting and intelligent individual unfortunately brought up in an anti-intellectual wasteland.

But shit man, I live in fucking Georgia. We're not exactly known for...well, literacy for one.

I just ask people about themselves. EVERYBODY loves to talk about whatever bullshit about their lives.

You learn so much about them and they learn almost nothing about you. Knowledge is power padawan.

>>16437405

Not OP, and not to be an ass, but...

>Geopolitics is boring AF for my taste, and more oft than not leads to a fight, however small
>Theology...It's a wonder I'm still alive today
>I don't understand economics at all, only that coins are shinier than bills and thus prettier

The few interesting talks I have with my few interesting friends are usually about things like whether avant garde is good or bad, or wether we should finish GoT or just think everyone lived happily ever after. I guess more 'artsy' stuff.
Don't want to put down your own preferences, just felt like sharing something of my own

Often I don't like talking about deep shit, especially with people I'm not close to, because often it dredges up personal beliefs or feeling that are important to me but not necessarily popular or easy to agree with, and I don't like basically inviting people to shit on me for it or starting conflict. I'm also afraid of being judged. So it's easier to talk about shallow over trodden bullshit.

>>16437353
You misunderstand the social purpose of chat. The overwhelming majority of conversations are trivial because content is not their purpose.

Have you ever seen a TV documentary about monkeys or chimps? They like to sit around "grooming" each other, picking nits from each other's fur.

Now, getting rid of nits is nice, but scientists have shown that it is really just an excuse for sitting together and showing (and enjoying) their friendliness.

Humans don't pick nits off each other. Instead, we sit around talking about nothing much, signalling and enjoying the friendliness. WHAT we're talking about is far less important than THAT we're talking together.

Of course, most people are also capable of "deep" conversations, but those will by their very nature be less frequent.

>>16437420
Hey, that's fine man!

I absolutely fucking adore recommending media to people. I've got pretty specific taste in books, TV shows, movies, games, music that I love sharing. Likewise, I like hearing anyone talk about the media they love. That's almost always a sure winner for conversation on SOME ground with nearly anyone.

I certainly ain't saying that my tastes are more valid because they appear "deeper" or "smarter". Least, that isn't my intention! Lots of folks seem to feel that I'm not genuine in my interest or endearment towards things like geopolitics/theology, and only profess to like them to cultivate an image.

Also, to clarify my (likey improper) use of the term "geopolitics" in conversation, the most recent things me and my buds have talked about are the conflicts in Syria, Yemen, Ukraine, and elections in Turkey. Just trying to differentiate it between the RED VS BLUE POLITICAL ARENA THEATER: DEMOCRAP VERSUS REPUBLICUNT EDITION style of conversation that a lot of people associate with "politics"

I mostly focused on those subjects because I felt OP would be interested in them.

Although I fear that this is one of the too-common "why do people engage in X unsavory behavior" or "why dont people engage in Y positive behavior" threads with no meaningful discussion.

>>16437353
People don't want to talk about non-trivial things because it exposes them and their true selves. Talking about religion, politics, etc shows you what kind of person they really are. If my friends knew some of my true deep down beliefs...well... I wouldn't have any friends left. So, menial topics are what we discuss instead. What we did today, what we think of that new game coming out, how fucking stupid one of our friends is being, etc.

The vast majority of people just don't give a shit about much except a minor amount of things which are specific to and directly interest and influence them. These topics aren't interesting to other people who typically have poor or average listening skills so they don't tend to sustain conversation.

There are a larger amount of things which are of minor interest to a wide range of people and this shared interest is typically where 'small talk' falls. Deep hole vs wide shallow depression analogy I guess. Success within these topics causes a bias for the future and they are selected again because they sustained an encounter.

Thing is, I'm one of those people too. Just my value system is often based on stupid things like being seen to be having 'intellectual' and 'deep' conversations about 'complex' topics. Listening is hard. Defining value in social interaction is hard. Lots of it is just shooting the shit.

I'd rather be excited. Why am I not excited? Being I'm not having an exciting conversation. Why not? Because I'm not with exciting people. Why not? Because I'm not in an exciting situation. Why not? Because of other people, wait no really it is because I'm not that exciting or I'm happy with being boring right now and I'm justifying some superiority complex by assuming that this is the fault of others. If I truly want exciting conversation I need to be in exciting situations with exciting people and that requires me to be exciting and driven to seek out situations outside my comfort zone. Am I prepared to do that?

Also how much of this is my insecurity? How much do I get back by feeling 'smarter than average' compared to the rest of the room? Can I relinquish that and still be confident and astute?

I decided to push myself out there more into situations where I might encounter what I claim I want and it turns out I'm quite lazy and demotivated and that people who are trying hard for the sake of visibility are usually insufferable bastards. Also lots of crazy.

>>16437480
Already posted my bullshit in the thread.

Just wanted to holler at you and say I reckon we have a lot in common. I assure myself frequently that I'm not just cultivating an intellectual image of myself with my interest in certain topics. But part of it absolutely is simple vanity!

All of my friends, and the friends of friends know me as "the smart guy". Not like "hey, jailbreak my iphone for me dog" but "hey, here's this topic I heard about in passing, tell me what you know about it!"

And I adore that, man! I fucking love it!

I recognize that I've got issues with drive and motivation as well, but I don't think that we're both "in it" simply for appearance or vanity. It is at least a component of our behavior, but not the whole picture.

>>16437405
OP here. I thought this thread was dead. Why are you going on about how you and your social circle have interesting conversations and passing it off as advice? Did you even read my post?

>>16437424
I hear what you're saying but I should have clarified I'm not necessarily looking for "deep" conversation. I mean just talking about books, hobbies, whatever. Everyone I've ever worked with and known just gossips about other people's lives for the most part (pretty much putting others down behind their backs) and it just drives me nuts. I just wish more people were capable of more positive and productive conversation.

>>16437537
It isn't difficult to read three sentences, bud!

So yeah, I read it.

The purpose of that was an attempt to illustrate that even in a low-class and rural setting such as my own, people can be very interesting, intellectual, and intelligent. I tried to place importance upon actively attempting to generate interest in what people have to say. I wanted you to understand that nearly everything can be funny, extraordinary, eye-opening, etc. You can glean positivity from nearly any social encounter.

I won't apologize, because my intent was not to "show off" (I'm still plenty pathetic, believe me!) but to offer a suggestion to you. It is unlikely that the majority of other people will change; you can remain bitter about it or you can attempt to adapt to the world that we live in.

Try to find magic in something, man. Life's fucking magical.

And do try to avoid criticizing someone else's comprehension when you've posted nothing in the thread aside from 5 short sentences containing absolutely no specifics; but only a general whine about "why aren't things how I want", especially if you're allegedly looking for conversation devoid of shallow gossip.

>>16437550
So I guess your advice would be to move then? Yeah I admit my post is pretty shit... just late and bored. But I still am not understanding your "advice".
>Try to find magic in something, man. Life's fucking magical.
Oh god. Get back to me when you're out of college for a while.

>>16437570
If you're confident that the place you live in is an absolute shithole without any sizable population of like-minded or interesting folk, then sure. My advice would be to get the fuck out.

If you're not understanding me, that's fine. I'm being pretty abstract.

I have, for some reason, an unconditional positive regard towards everyone else, no matter how I feel personally. This makes it difficult for me to believe that there exists an area populated entirely by jackasses with nothing better to talk about than how busted some bitch looks or how they got fucking trashed last weekend.

I suppose my advice, worthwhile or not, is to carefully examine your attitude and perception to ensure that the problem lies solely with your peers and not yourself. As with anything, it is extraordinary for blame to be correctly placed solely on one party or individual.

>Oh god. Get back to me when you're out of college for a while.

I don't have much of a retort for that one. You got me!

I'm turning 24 next month with about 80 credit hours on an undergrad to my name. Spent some time off of school to be a piece of shit and work a low-level job, respectively.

As cliche as it sounds (and is!), I am genuine in this belief. I always find it saddening when I realize that others don't perceive the world the same way, and manically exciting when I find someone similar.

Sorry about that last line in my previous reply. I won't apologize if no malice is involved and offense is invoked by accident. But that was a rude jibe at you, and I apologize for that.

I hate morons like OP who think what they're interested in must be really fucking fantastic and intelligent, and that everyone else is simply dumb just because they like to partake in simple gossip every now and then. It's not necessary to discuss conspiracy theories and quantum physics all the time for god's sake, and just because some people don't really discuss such topics doesn't necessarily mean they're shallow/stupid. Get over yourself mate

>>16437599

I am not the OP, however, I do spend quite a bit of time thinking along the same lines. Would you recommend that I attempt to talk to people even less? If my expectations are annoying them and their failure to live up to them is annoying me, then terminating that interaction would be for the best, wouldn't it?

>everyone is boring and uninteresting
>they are egotistical

lol.

Maybe they just don't like you and don't want to share their real interested with you

>>16437412
This is sound in theory, but it never fucking works out for me. EVER. I don't know what it is about me or the people around me, but asking people to tell me about themselves (and no, not in such a blunt manner) rarely keeps the conversation going for more than a couple of minutes. They're usually really shy about it and act like they're not really sure what to say. I end up finding out very little about them, and what I do find out isn't enough to keep the conversation going. It's like, where most people see plenty of shit to talk about, I see nothing.

>>16438184
I'd recommend you get over yourself, get humble, and talk to people about reality. The enjoyment of relating to people on something basic is superior to not relating with anyone at all. If you want to talk about some abstract shit that only a niche group of people in the world understand... go to class.

I happen to love history and mythology, and I like to read Greek and Latin classics (translations, obv) to see how ancient people thought, but never do I assume anyone I meet will want to talk about that shit. If I'm asked what my interests are, I'll say, "oh, I like a lot of history" and I'll leave it at that unless they want to follow up. That's all. They aren't bad for not having that interest, and neither am I better than anyone for having such obscure interests.

Main advice: relate to people on common subjects, as it is these subjects which all people are supposed to be able to relate to each other on.

>>16438243

Well, the good news is that people don't talk about niche topics in the classes that cover them, so that's no way out. I've been working on trying to use lower level topics for a couple of years. But I can't seem to make the leap from not-talking-about-complex-shit into talking-about-ordinary-shit. Almost exclusively, the common subject which everyone relates to is either "Nothing" or "Not much". "What do you do for fun?" "What interests you?" "What all happened last week?" In the past two months, I think I've only managed to penetrate that conversationally demilitarized zone twice; once using "Golf", and once using "Memories".

Maybe that's how it's supposed to be, though. Probably the simplest explanation is that "Nothing" is the thing which most interests the overwhelming majority of the people I can talk with.

You keep trying. What a silly question.

Everyone talks gossip sometimes it's part of human socialising. But if your group does nothing but that either they are retards or you're talking about a group that isn't actually friends and thus are just making small talk.
You aren't often going to have legit "intelligent" conversations with people you don't even know/are friends with.

>tfw shut in autist that makes friends easily

I find that if you are open and genuine with people, they usually are genuine back after a while. It also helps if you gravitate towards non normies.

>>16437588
not OP, but if you ever leave the cesspool that is Georgia, I'd grab a drink with you. Seem like a cool lad.

Best of luck to ya bro.