Is something truly wrong with you if you can't lose your virginity by your early/mid 20s?
>>17042729
Nope.
There's no age limit on the V Card. We have cultural expectations that push us toward a specific age, but you're living your own life. Don't let it be dictated by some inane schedule of life accomplishments.
Can't? Yes. Don't? No.
>>17042733
I can vouch for this. I didn't really start appreciating all that I have done and all that I have been through until very recently. And I don't regret having spent so much time absorbed in my passions and my future, that I haven't been in any meaningful relationship for many years now. I don't think I will die alone and unloved, but I have a better understanding of what I want, so "settling" on the first pretty girl hasn't been a real option for me. Cheesy as it sounds, I'm one of those fuckers who waits around for the right girl. She does not have to be a soul mate, but I have to feel a meaningful connection with her, which no woman I've met has been able to maintain. I know men are pressured to do all the heavy lifting in a relationship, but I've stood my ground and refused to share myself with women who don't actually respect or care about me. If I die a virgin because of that, then so be it.
>>17042729
most likely
>>17042729
>Is something truly wrong with you if you get killed by a car by your early/mid 20s?
>Is something truly wrong with you if you haven't moved out by your early/mid 20s?
>Is something truly wrong with you if you got cancer by your early/mid 20s?
>Is something truly wrong with you if you don't have any friends by your early/mid 20s?
>Is something truly wrong with you if you got abducted by aliens by your early/mid 20s?
>Is something truly wrong with you if you become an alcoholic by your early/mid 20s?
>Is something truly wrong with you if you are fat by your early/mid 20s?
>Is something truly wrong with you if you got AIDS by your early/mid 20s?
No.
>>17042763
Truly enlightened.
You supposed to lose it in high school bro
How the hell are you gonna lose it in your 20s?
>>17042729
No it's not if you just use this magic trick:"It's not me I'm just virgin because I didn't take enough time to look for girls. I'm gonna do it anyway guys..."
Works all the time
I wish I could have mine back. If I knew and thought the way I do now, i would have been satisfied with not giving a shit about it.
Some women like virgin guys. Some women are neutral. Some women hate virgin guys.
Some can tell, some can't. It's up to you if you tell her.
The question is rather are you happy? And what do you expect?
>>17042729
nope. lets see a face pic though and see waht you're working with
>>17043138
>Some women like virgin guys.
>>17042729
everyone has something wrong with them. my friend from waay back is a 26yo virgin and no one thinks less of him for it. we just know that he doesn't bother with women. it doesn't have to negatively impact you
>>17042763
I'm impressed
>>17042729
As a guy who didn't lose it until I was 27 or 28: yes.
my roommate admitted he was a virgin to me. frankly i wasn't surprised. he was a 6 at his very very very best, and looked like a 4 most of the time. he was 28.
one day he brought back this girl he met at a bar. they'd been seeing each other for a week. she was a 9/10. she was an actual model (nothing serious, but its pretty common in LA).
she was super into him. still didnt lose his virginity though. pretty sure its cuz he was gay.
source: he'd get drunk and make out with me
>>17042763
nah i get it, and i wish more men had your attitude. the problem is that hte few who do are still whiny bitches about it.
you're not, so props to you. as long as you can be happy nothing to worry about. i think people put too much importance on relationships that are so temporary.
>>17042763
I'm pretty much in the same situation as you. After years of shit, I've finally gotten my act together. And I want to be there for someone, and I know I can. Not just something stupid, but try to be that what I'd been missed when I was in a difficult place in my life. Give what I have and be given what the other person has.
>>17043151
>the problem is that hte few who do are still whiny bitches about it.
Well, that would be me then, because even though I'm a very idealistic person, it's sometimes very hard. I want to feel some warmth, too. The warmth I know I can give someone now, but I just can't find anyone who appreciates it.
>>17042729
Yeah.
t. Me, normie reee
>>17044198
>I'm pretty much in the same situation as you. After years of shit, I've finally gotten my act together. And I want to be there for someone, and I know I can. Not just something stupid, but try to be that what I'd been missed when I was in a difficult place in my life. Give what I have and be given what the other person has.
Right on, that's what I want to do too. Share my life with somebody and provide some sort of value to them, and valuing them in return. That's actually what I've wanted for a while, a very long while.
>>17042940
I lost it at 21 and now I slay mad pus. I'm 24 atm and have slept with over 20 women. 2 of them were serious relationships. The rest were all friends with benefits, not that many one night stands though.
>>17042735
I agree with this.
I haven't, but it's mostly been by choice.
There were opportunities, but not with anyone I cared about in that regard.
Part of it is me being picky, but also not wanting to hurt anyone else. I don't like the idea of banging people that I don't like. Obviously casual relationships are a thing, but I don't normally buy that the other person doesn't care, or is just looking for sex. People catch feelings.
>>17045031
Point being, it doesn't matter at all. I mean the people that I know that have stayed virgins past the age of 25, are all pretty socially stunted, so maybe there is something there. But early 20s, it's more common than you think for a guy to be a virgin.
>>17042729
Depends. If you used to watch a shit tonne of porn at the age of around 11-14, your body will find it very hard to become aroused when making love to your partner, therefore rendering it impossible to loose your virginity. If you're unable to find a partner due to potential social reasons, that's a different matter. Personally, I'd say the porn one is a lot more serious.
>>17045039
>Part of it is me being picky, but also not wanting to hurt anyone else. I don't like the idea of banging people that I don't like.
One of my biggest fears with women has always been people getting hurt. I don't really think people need to be hurting all the time to properly grow and love, but I feel like a popular narrative about today's relationships is that they need to be full of drama and heart ache, or else it's not being done right. Oh, how I wish I could have somebody to relax and be at peace with.
>>17043141
Most virgin girls by choice want a guy who is the same way
>>17042763
We're both going to die virgins. It's nice to see someone else come to terms with it and not complain though.
>>17045776
>We're both going to die virgins.
Now, why would you say that?
31 year old virgin here
I don't know what to say. I don't think there's anything wrong with me. I just had shitty luck in dating, never went past second date. Went unemployed for two years, didn't try dating at that time, so that didn't help.
Then I became a 30 year old virgin, I immediately gave up everything that day. I don't interact with women at all anymore unless I have to. I know I'm damaged now and no woman will ever want to deal with a 30 year old virgin.
>>17042733
>There's no age limit on the V Card.
New to the internet I guess? It's 30. There's a meme about wizards and all.
>>17042912
>he's 25 and he STILL hasn't been abducted by aliens
>>17045388
>>17042729
I lost my V card at age 23 and, even though I am 31 years old now, I have only fucked two women in my life.
Yes, there is something out of order, obviously, but who gives a fuck.
>>17047132
I think the average number of sex partners is single digits, usually around half a dozen for most people. Most people really aren't having as much sex as you think, and guys are notorious for bragging about sex they didn't have.
people put too much importance on virginity.
Losing your virginity is kinda lame. for girls it hurts, for guys they often dont last long or know what they are doing and get embarassed.
>Being virgins
>When girls are more slutty than ever in 2016
Get the fuck out your house
>>17047310
>this denial
If it helps you sleep...
>>17047313
yeah but that's exactly why it's a problem being a 20-year old virgin. i'm fairly normal looking and i behave myself fine, i had anxiety problems and acne as a teen, but now its gone. i just dont know how to get over those first steps of terrible embarassment.
also, mind you i live in a european country where literally NO ONE is keeping themselves for religious reasons and young sex is very normal
>>17042729
depends on your culture.
>>17043141
>>17045906
Thank you for your input, meme master.
My boyfriend wasn't a virgin at 23, he'd fucked some scene whore in college before meeting me. Although it's no big deal that he'd had sex before, I still definitely hope he wouldn't have fucked some random girl without at least attempting a relationship. It made him seem like a slutty and shallow tryhard to me and I reconsidered our relationship for a few weeks after hearing that.
In the end I ended up fucking him anyway and now we've lived together for five years. Oh well.
>>17047507
I just can't understand this kind of reasoning. Like how can you think of a person as a slut, just because he as a teenager desperately wanted to have sex? What is wrong with that?
God, I'm shy and awkward and all that, but at least I understand and recognize basic human urges.
Haven't you ever had the urge to fuck someone even though you didn't consider a relationship?
>>17047567
>Haven't you ever had the urge to fuck someone even though you didn't consider a relationship?
Not the person you replied to and my answer is no. Sure, there are fantasies and such but I could not go through with being intimate with someone who I don't "" love"". Whatever "" love"" really means, because I've never been in a relationship.
I don't think so.
I mean, ihad the chance to slag around in highschool, never did. I wanted my first time to mean something to me. My mother slagged around as a teen and she always told me that you will always remember your first time. With that ringing in my head I never went past first base with anyone.
With that, I started having feelings for a guy online who was some awkward introvert who had more focus on his school work, ambitions and financial stability at home than girls. We met via an online forum and did the whole ldr. When we met up in August we wete both virgins, hell I was the first girl he kissed in 8 years. I lost my virginity to him that night. I didn't have this picture in my head. It wasn't the greatest thing ever, we didn't even finish. It was awkward, nerve wracking and to be honest it was scary. But we both laughed about it, explored what it was like and I never felt closer to somebody after that. He was 23 and I was 22. I hsve no regrets that I waited this long.
>>17042729
Yes, there is.
The thing that always gets me in these type of threads is that anons usually focus on the sex aspect of it.
Being a virgin isn't bad in itself, it's the fact that you've missed the usual social milestones that lead you being a 25+ virgin who's probably awkward as fuck and with little to no friends.
>>17047567
>desperately wanted to have sex
>actually did what his weiner told him to
No, that seems completely retarded to me. Some people tolerate fucking around but I personally can't properly relate to a person with zero control over themselves. And what if he desperately wants sex while she's gone, should she forgive cheating because it's a basic human urge and so on?
>>17047627
Friends come and go and no one cares whether or not you've had friends in the last couple of years. The Milestone is the literal sex thingy, not even the relationship part.
>are you still a virgin, anon?
>nope, i lost the v card at sixteen
>but was it meaningful?
>>17047627
You can be virgin at 25+ and still have friends. Maybe they are virgins too, or they aren't and they just don't give a fuck about your V card, becouse they hang out with just becouse you are nice. That is it really.
>>17047641
I don't think you understood his post.
>>17047596
Do you not have a very strong sexual drive? And would you also think less of other people or think of them as "sluts" for having sex with strangers?
>>17047641
Way to misunderstand someone on purpose. I'm not talking about absolutely uncontrollable urges, hell, then cheating wouldn't be the biggest issue - rape would be.
Your reasoning is really strange to me. When the guy fucked the scene girl, I assume that he WAS NOT in a relationship, so you can't compare those at all.
>>17042729
43 and still a virgin. I don't think it's wrong. I am generally happier compared to people I know that are married and have kids.
Sure I'd like the things you get when IN a relationship like sex on tap (or most of the time) and company etc. But do I think there is something wrong with me?. No way senpai.
>>17047676
Why do you think you're still a virgin? How did you feel in your early 20's, were you motivated to try and get laid or has it been conscious choice for a long time?
I mean just because you don't want a wife and kids you don't have to stay virgin. I'm just really curious as I'm a virgin at 21 but i really want to get laid
>>17047653
Not denying that but usually you're usually on the backfoot in some conversations highlighting your lack of experience (not just in sex) OR your friends are the same as you, (which I wouldn't have minded).
I thought about going to cons to meet nerds/geeks but seeing socially-competent geeks kinda brought me down.
>>17047678
Not really motivated to getting laid.
More interested in other things, socially awkward, like being on my own. Sure there things I sometimes want like sex and the like but that, for me at least, passes.
>>17047676
>But do I think there is something wrong with me?. No way senpai.
You're 43, posting on a chinese drawing board, with no wife or kids, and a virgin to boot.
I mean, Tesla, died alone peniless in a crappy hotel and practically unknown til years after his death. And he was a brilliant scientist.
>>17047693
Don't worry senpai, I've got no intention of dying alone and/or penniless. I want to get married have kids and be miserable like every other guy my age.
Women, or at least I think, women these are putting off marriage and kids until their late 30's. So I figure there is still a bit of time left for me.
Lost it at 22, have great friends. Just had a rough patch through high school and such. Things got better in college. Youll find a girl thats Ok with it man, just be smart about where you look. It can get incredibly depressing, and it fucks up your self worth. If it gets to you too much maybe seek professional help. But theres nothing wrong with strugling with this things.
Maybe theres things about you that youll have to change. Thats also hard but theres no choice usually. You dont have to do it alone though, remember that.
Cheers.
>>17047664
I do, yes. But I'm 23 years old and despite not lacking many obvious opportunities, I still didn't give in to my sexual drive. I could have, but my ideals are stronger. Or maybe I'm just an idiot, I don't know. Or maybe it's the morals that my parents implicitly taught me.
But I want to take the other person as seriously as I want to be taken seriously. And stick and move isn't taking the other person seriosuly, in my opinion.
It's just the way I feel and am. It might be the "right" or "wrong" approach, I don't know. But what I know for sure is that there's no worth to anything I do if I don't stay true to myself.
Yeah, it sucks now, because I want feel satisfaction. But if I give into something I'm not 100% ok with, I will feel bad afterwords, for giving up what I think is "right".
But if I stick to my values, and hopefully find someone who shares them, it will be worth it.
I just don't think, that because something takes sacrificie, it's not worth pursuing. Quite the contrary, I'd say.
I know that it's going to be important for me to have sex, and if the other person couldn't care less about that on an emotional level, I know I will feel hurt. Is it stupid, naive and shows that I'm inexperiecned? Maybe. But why would I give someone else willingly the power to hurt, unless it's a relationsship to which both have agreed to and both know that it's going to be part of it, regardless of the best intentions.
And no, I don't really think less of them per se. But if it's a woman, I just don't look at her as a potential partner anymore. Doesn't mean that we can't get along regarding school / work.
>>17047715
Hate to break it to you, but most of the women in their 30s and especially 40s are either ugly/unpleasant and thus alone at that age for a reason, or they're single moms who already have kids.
You're running out of time, a lot more than than all these little 20 year old babies who are acting like their lives are over because some cunt hasn't ruined their lives yet.
>>17047400
>denial
Its not denial son. There are people who have lots of sex, but that isn't even the vast majority of people. It isn't uncommon for people to go long periods without sex either, be it by choice or otherwise.
i'm 21 and i still live at my moms in my old shitty town. right now im studying to get into college because i fucked up my HS studies, so i have to do some courses now from home. this will take a year.
as a teen i had severe anxiety and acne, but now the acne is mostly gone and i can kinda handle my anxiety but i still get really nervous around girls. i'm not terribly ugly and i even have a sense of fashion
i dont really go to bars a lot anymore, i used to drink a lot and do a lot of drugs, but im not really feeling it anymore. i mean i could go, but even when my non-socially retarded friends go out they honestly dont seem to fuck a lot of girls, they mostly go out to get pissed and have fun together.
how to meet girls before starting college?
>>17047722
But aren't you just imagining a certain scenario where the girl you take home and you are just two machines having cold sex? Wouldn't it only be hurtful if you allow it to be? I mean if you both want to feel pleasure and close human contact for a little while and then go each his/her own way, how would you hurt each other?
strangers can share an intimate moment, even though it is just a one-night thing. i'm really not trying to change your mind about this, just to share some perspective and hear yours. i'm even a virgin myself, not by choice though
>>17047722
>ideals
Jesus Christ.
>>17047715
>still have time
Dude you are 43.
Women your age, your social level are probably just as fucked up as you, if not more so.
And having old dad probably isn't a great experience when they're just waiting any moment for you to keel over.
>>17047726
Well my social circles dicate otherwise. I know a few women that are in their early 30's that are none of the things you describe. Sure you'd need to live with a woman to find out exactly what she is REALLY like but even the men I know that are married say their wives act like bitches sometimes that's all part of the territory of being in a relationship I guess.
As far as the looks go; well that's a subjective call so I am not going to comment on that.
>>17047749
Well, and afterwards? After that one night? I still would want to be with someone, right? The longing for a genuine partner would be even bigger, I'd assume?
I don't want to have a partner for just one night. And instead of "wasting" time to find someone for a one-time thing, I'd rather work on a genuine relationship.
Now if only I'd find someone with that mindset and who also likes me.
>>17047791
I don't think he's describing every woman in their 30s, just the ones that eligible for that poster, which probably isn't a wide range.
>>17047749
I for one don't want to share an intimate moment with a stranger. That sounds extremely uncomfortable, I wouldn't want to reveal myself like that to someone I don't love and trust.
And most of my well-adjusted friends agree. Obviously there's the occasional "i have nuttin to hide so i'm sending nudes to everyone, sometimes a human being just wants attention :)" type, or from my point of view, slut.
>>17043138
>>17045388
Stay away from /r9k/ boy, they'll eat you alive
>>17047815
>Obviously there's the occasional "i have nuttin to hide so i'm sending nudes to everyone, sometimes a human being just wants attention :)" type, or from my point of view, slut.
You are purposely misinterpreting the poster. Again.
>>17047815
I just think that's a very b/w way of viewing things. There is a middle ground that you are not recognizing, and it seems that it makes you judge other people of being "sluts"
It sounds like a strange group of friends that you have, sorry to say. Most of them agree that one-night stands are a no-go, but then you also have the odd one sending nudes in every direction. I can say that none of my friends fall into either of those two categories
>>17047978
I think he's trolling.
Boump
I never had much of interest in pursuing chicks when I was a teenager, and masturbation satisfied my needs just fine.
I never really cared that much, and saw no point in trying to have sex just to get rid of my virginity.
What really started hitting me hard, was not the fact that I am a virgin, but loneliness. I want someone that I can spend time and bond with, and to truly love.
I'm 22 now, and still a virgin, but my situation is different than it was before due to the fact that I have developed a massive crush on a girl that lives in the same apartment complex as I. I just enjoy spending time with her tremendously, but at the same time, my total inexperience is leaving me clueless on how to proceed with these feelings etc.
>>17048764
You'll get no useful advice here. I've tried for 2 years.
>>17048764
How do you spend time with her exactly?
My boyfriend lost his to me when he was 25.
He was extremely nervous throughout teens/early 20s with girls so never got very far, it didn't help that a lot of girls are extremely judgemental about guys who lack experience in their mid 20s but we ain't all like that.
For me this doesn't matter
If I date you, I like you as a person.
You can learn to be more experienced in bed.
So whatever.
>>17050293
I feel as though this is the same for every decent girl. I believe if they're dating you and they have feelings for you they won't mind whether you're a virgin or not.
Although I may be wrong.
>>17050305
I'd hope so, I tried at the start to be extremely understanding and not critical of anything. Like I could tell when he told me he was super nervous and scared about my reaction - which makes me think that he'd had negatives before from other people.
>>17050284
Usually we watch movies/tv together and play board games in the common room of the student apartment complex we both live in. We have also gone out to the city and to the movies together a couple of times. Yesterday I asked if she would like to come with me to the museum later this week, and she agreed to it.
>>17050293
>He was extremely nervous throughout teens/early 20s with girls so never got very far, it didn't help that a lot of girls are extremely judgemental about guys who lack experience in their mid 20s but we ain't all like that.
I was so fucking stupid and inexperienced with nervous and insecure people that I fucked it all up. I was into a beautiful, cute, inteligent girl, who was extremely shy, like I'd never seen her before.
I used to be shy as well back in the day, and I'd always wished that there be someone for me who cares and appreciates me.
But of course, being an idiot, I thought the best way to handle her difficulties was "to be open and honest about it and talk about it" and I pointed out the difficulties I saw she was having and said that that was ok, and I appreciated and liked her not only despite, but also because of it. That I liked the way she was.
Of course, then she faded away and avoided me immediately.
If only, I'd known that lesson before. I liked her so much, but because I lacked the understanding and patience, I fucked it all up. Arghghgjk.
