Ive been having nightmares every day since tuesday about whether i get the job or not
Also i think i accidentally threw away my meds when i was cleaning out my car. Fuck
![[HorribleSubs] Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun - 02 [720p].mkv_snapshot_04.37_[2014.10.07_21.27.14].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/NzzEHUw.jpg "[HorribleSubs] Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun - 02 [720p].mkv_snapshot_04.37_[2014.10.07_21.27.14].jpg")
>quit antipsychotics so i can finally lose some of the ridiculous amount of weight i've gained while on them
>cue godawful dreams, irritability, depression, voices in my goddamn head
>a-at least the weight is flying off
also
>start beginner's programming course
>five minutes into it
>"hmm i should check /adv/"
>thirty minutes later and i'm still here
>mfw
WHAT THE FUCK
I keep having these ideas. Like, I think of something to do, open up my text editor and I already forgot
TWICE it has happened to me in the last 20 minutes
>>17011947
>>start beginner's programming course
>>five minutes into it
>>"hmm i should check /adv/"
iktf
I start reading some ruby shit
and I already lost interest.
Not that I'm not interested really, I would rather just play with a few things rather than read and read and read.
Also, anon, make it a point not to open the browser until you've at least solved a problem.
You're doing the course on a browser?
Don't you have a pdf?
>>17011912
i want to die, but like hell i will give up
So I have made some stupid decisions in my life, things that weren't extremely important. I was thinking the other day about multiple things. One of them was that 2 years ago, at some place I was taking classes, there was this girl that always kinda fancied me. I never really paid too much attention to her, the truth is that she kept kinda trying to get to know me better and I kinda sort of ignored her because of some other cunt. Well, because of me, to be honest. Classes over, I stopped seeing her again. So recently, I thought about how I missed that one opportunity.
...And somehow, I don't know how, a friend of mine I was going to hang out with told me that she saw her, and this girl asked her my phone number. Talked to her a bit, maybe I'll see her tonight.
But this is a hell of a coincidence. I thought I'd never see her again and it was this last week I was just thinking about it. I don't know if I should put some effort, after all she's been looking for me "just because".
>>17012084
>I don't know if I should put some effort, after all she's been looking for me "just because".
fucking seriously do it
I want to befriend/date/marry/have 394 kids a teachers aide in one of my classes.
They're always nice to me, and I think we get along pretty great. We have a lot of similar interests and we were both ex-NEETs before working/transfering there.
They don't seem to have much friends anyway, let alone a GF.
But the school's policy says no students/staff can have contact outside of school, not even for help with work. Plus theres at least an 8 year difference between us.
If I told someone how much I love this person, they'd report me and I'd get expelled so fucking quickly.
I'll never find someone who's this similar/relateable to me ever again. Probably ;_;
I meant we were both NEETs fuck me in the asshole (Cant reply to my own posts on Clover fuck this trash)
Looking people straight in the eye until they look away is fun as fuck, especially the women look to the ground immediately, this feeling of domination feels great.
>>17012195
Not sure what it's like where you're from but at the colleges i've been to, TAs are usually grad students.
>>17012251
stop it anon, that's ape behavior and you're a human, you're supposed to have evolved since then
My ex of two years that things ended with two months ago just created a "wedding" board on her Pinterest with engagement rings, wedding dresses, and other wedding related shit.
What the fuck.
Today I just said goodbye to this guy I was sort-of with because he sent me a text that complained that I don't him long enough and I get off three times to his one. (I suck his dick many times during sex + I let him take my anal virginity) I mean -- dude is COUNTING my orgasms and complaining about me having too many? I just told him (via text) that was a gigantic turn-off and goodbye.
>>17012338
I'm still in high school (for maybe another year unless I drop out) since I got held back a year due to a really shitty transfer, took DoE about 2 years to actually find my paperwork and place me somewhere.
If this was college I wouldn't post here then, most colleges I've heard about let staff/TAs/whatever and students talk outside of school. I think.
A few threads back, I posted about a girl who keeps rejecting me in my dreams. Still am.
I don't get it. I'm over her. She rejected me in real life some time after the first dreams. Nowadays she's practically out of my life. She could stand on my doorstep wearing nothing but a raincoat and a condom in her mouth, and I'd toss her a pair of boxers and send her home.
Even better, I'm involved with a different girl now. Does she reject me in my dreams? No. Does she show up in my dreams at all? Hell no.
Not going to play along with your mind games, brain. Fuck you.
Just broke up with gf of a year and a half and I feel so FREE, like I'm actually excited. We didn't have sex because she was saving herself for marriage (I had sex before though), she would t let me go out with my friends or even family, if I didn't drive to her house (25m away) everyday she would get mad, she didn't trust me despite the fact that I never go out. IM FREE this morning I played soccer with my coworkers something she would've hated and tommorow in going to watch Batman vs superman by myself which I've been dying to see but couldn't because he didn't want to. I'm downloading tinder so maybe I'll have a date for Jungle book next week. I AM FREE AND I LOVE IT!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE SEX AGAIN
>>17012442
I'm feeling a bit of vicarious joy right now. Good for you, Anon.
>>17012442
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CBBtorFg2I
heres a good theme song
>>17012456
>>17012460
Thank you guys. I know I might come off as a jerk but you have to know I tried everything to make it work and I took a lot o her crap in the name of love, but we are just too toxic for each other.
I'm 33 and currently limerent with a 26 year old artist 2,700 miles away.
I met her first when she was 16 and I was 23, which I know is fucked up, and before anyone asks, no I never even thought of her in that way during that time.
But then I looked her up years later [going through my old Yahoo! address book], and now my mind is kind of fixated on her, and no, it's not even in sexual way.
She's dark and mysterious, funny and very human. She's also kind of a famous artist now, and even though I don't obsess over her art, I do appreciate it.
I tried contacting her a few years earlier [yahoo! address book again; I go through it every few years because I travel so much], and she seemed pleased to hear from me, but then cut off all contact, and so I thought I was given a hint.
I don't know if I should contact her or not. At the moment I just check up on her professional updates and just swoon.
Note: I have been diagnosed with [non-military] PTSD and major depression. I suffer from intrusive thoughts [I have constant flashes of worst case scenarios; I have zero control over these thoughts]. I'm also poor and on disability.
I think the fact I originally met her when she was only 16 is what really keeps me away from trying to reestablish contact with her; plus she rubs elbows with higher class people and has a degree from an ivy league university.
>>17012498
Did I just kill the thread?
I had a dream this morning where my friend kissed me lightly on the lips, and in response I kissed her three times lightly on her neck.
Freaked me the fuck out.
I had to tell my wife about it after I woke up, but even now after talking about it for a while it's kinda bothering me.
My friend hasn't really been talking to me much recently and I miss her company. Maybe this is my stupid brain's way of trying to cheer me up.
Thanks a lot, brain. Why not just make everything weird and uncomfortable. Good job.
Freaking out about getting my gf pregnant, she's been on the pill for 3 months and we used a condom but i came in it and kept going and saw some weird grey liquid in her when we finished.
Chances of it even being me are low since the condom was on tight asf when i pulled out (and was intact, no breakages) and she's on the pill.
Help!!
>>17012580
Women can ejaculate too, but it's not seman.
In some women the ejaculation can be frothy, which can have the appearance of white or gray.
Just use a home pregnancy test.
They sell them in all drug stores everywhere in the 1st world.
>>17012584
Okay thank god. When should we take the test? This happened 3 days ago and the pill messes her cycle up.
>>17012573
Humans, and in fact most mammals, connect through touch.
It shows trust if you allow touch.
In some cultures, they have a practice called "canuck", which is similar to a kiss and hug combined.
Perhaps you miss deeply miss her, and your mammalian brain just really wants to communicate that.
I would suggest not over thinking it.
>>17012586
Go to the Drugstore [or Chemist if you're in Europe].
Look for or ask for a home pregnancy test.
It's a simple take home kit.
It contains a "wand" or "stick" and you just have your GF pee on the indicated end.
It will tell you through chemical reactions if she is pregnant. Each test is slightly different due to trademarks, but the indicator will be explain on the package.
According to the data I've collected thus far, a romantic relationship is a terrible idea for me. Even so, sometimes I get so unbearably lonely that I browse /adv/. wat do?
>>17012588
That's interesting, thanks anon.
Over-thinking is pretty much my Thing at the moment, unfortunately, but I'll try not to build too much around this.
I do miss her a whole lot. And I think I'm done with talking about this now.
Why her?
>>17012602
Grass is greener where you water it anon. I've had a gf for 3 years and i love alone time.
Go take yourself out, see a movie or band, not like you have to worry about taking care of anyone else while you're there and you might meet people.
Just do you.
Didn't feel like making a thread for this.
How do you deal with someone that gets in your's or someone else's face nearby, who makes you so ticked off you physically tremble? Just leaving the scene is not really an option, and trying not to say anything is almost impossible given the circumstances.
>>17012776
Please elaborate.
>>17012776
I think you might be talking about me. Yes, elaborate.
>>17012602
Are you me? I love sex and boys but it's getting really hard to deal with them.
Dude commissioned me to write womblerotica, which is fine except that the outline he gave me is frustratingly vague, and then he keeps getting frustrated with me when I don't match his expectations. :|
I'm writing it and trying to do well, however.
>>17012852
I commission your suicide will you die?
>>17012811
Someone very antagonistic and verbally nasty, often drunk. Someone might not even have to say or do anything to the person to get them to start carrying on. And when they get going they don't drop it, for hours at a time.
My friend's boyfriend is like this sometimes, and I room with my friend, so he comes by a lot. And I don't want to just leave, you know?
>>17012860
No.
>>17012852
/ic/ here, I get this a lot whenever I get commissioned for album covers. Musicians are notorious for not knowing what the fuck they even want. I just charge enough to where I feel like putting up with their shit is worth it.
>>17012874
WHAT IF I PAY YOU A MILLION DOLLARS WILL YOU DIE DESUWAA
>>17012882
I will stop going on this imageboard for a million dollars, but I won't kill myself.
Feel like paying me?
I used to be infatuated with dessert, now, after her, sweets don't taste so sweet anymore. Doesn't feel good.
I want to rip myself to shreds, cut through veins and break my fingers and push needles underneath my nails and bang my head against the wall and pluck my eyes out
I am never getting out of this hell, it's been ten years, I'm done done done, I don't even deserve to get better, disgusting whore, everyone hates you and thinks you're an annoying piece of shit who is too retarded to be able to look after herself and guess what, it's true
>>17012889
>disgusting whore, everyone hates you and thinks you're an annoying piece of shit who is too retarded to be able to look after herself and guess what, it's true
Are you talking about yourself? What got you into this situation in the first place?
>>17012889
wew
>waiting for a guy to propose another meeting/hook up
>can't do it myself cos he wants he iniative
>I want to be seeing him at least once a week
desu just horny and cuddle starved and I'm not interested in having other sexual partners
>>17012919
I hope you get STDs
>>17012846
I'm a straight dude, and it isn't that women are hard to deal with, its that past relationships have left me with ridiculously high standards and trust issues. Also, I tend to do very well for myself when I'm on my own, its only when women get into the picture that things fall to shit.
>>17012921
Only if he's fucking around
Ngl it would surprise me if he did but not much
>>17012930
Gonnaherpasyphalaids is in your future
>>17012897
Yeah I am. And I don't even know anymore, got my first episode at thirteen, things escalated and I ended up with anorexia, recurrent severe depression and two personality disorders. Used to have OCD but I recovered, so I know it's possible, just not believing it tonight. It's taking so long, I'm done. Want to get back to uni so bad. I had a good early childhood and my parents are amazing so I don't understand how I came to be this insane.
Sorry for blog post
>>17012937
That and getting pregnant to burden the world with another faggot like yourself.
>>17012942
I was born from the sin of a man and a succubus
No mere mortal can challenge me
>>17011912
Currently off work due to stress, I've been gettin' harrassed, bullied. Rights infringed.
Acted when I was not of sound mind (due to stress, was having a panic attack) and they are jumping right on that and investigating it.
The thing is, I have a solid case against them. I can prove infringement of rights, I can make almost any paperwork/evidence they've got get thrown out because it was signed under duress and undue influence. This would re-open many tribunals they've had.
I can prove multiple counts of negligence, some of which have resulted in colleague injury.
I can make it so they won't have a bloody leg to stand on.
So, when I'm back, in two weeks time after my doctors note has expired, they are gonna try nailing me to the wall, putting words in my mouth all this shady shit.
And I know everything I need to do and say... but the stress-induced anxiety will most likely stop me... I've got no fight in me.
So, OP, take this a a lesson. Some jobs aren't worth having.
I stick around because I need the money, because I'm not sure if I even could get another job. Because I'm scared, stressed and anxious and now I'm paralyzed by this fear. Cannot live with my job, but cannot live without it.
if I had any other immediate options, even burger flipping for mcdonalds, I'd take it.
So don't stress over getting a job - that comes after, when you stress over fighting to keep it. Like I have, for five bloody years.
I'm sorry, I regret everything Stef, I should've said something way sooner but now it's too late and you're someone else's. It'll be the biggest regret of my life letting you go. I wish I could turn back time and say what I felt. I wish I wasn't so childish and selfish. I wish I could be the one holding you. I'm sorry Stef.
>>17012950
Also, forgot to add, even though I'm not off for two weeks...
It won't stop the company phoning me. They even did it on my scheduled day off to try and get me to say something stupid.
I'm going to be expected to show up for a visit to explain why I'm off...
So even though I'm supposed to be relaxing, I haven't slept in 48 hours... because I just can't, I keep worrying.
>>17012959
>Even though I AM off
fixed.
>>17012941
Are you on/have taken any meds? If so which ones?
I am so anxious about what I need to say that my mind is a whirlwind of emotions and is imagining scenarios of what may happen when I post this, and it is making me feel pure rage.
WHY THE FUCK WOULD THE PEOPLE I TOLD, WHO THEN GAVE ME REASSURANCE THAT I WOULD BE FINE AND THEY WOULD STICK WITH ME TO HELP OUT IF THE NEED CAME, TURN ON A DIME AND BEHIND MY BACK REPORT ME TO SEVERAL PLACES THAT I NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP.
sure i get it, its not fair for me to force them to help me with my problem only, they have their own agenda and stuff that they can't be focusing on my issues daily. But I just can't help but feel betrayed and the feeling is burning inside me.
man it is ONE. OF. THOSE. DAYS.
you done life? you done yet? cause I got shit to do and these sorts of days are just comical at this point. I've got nothing to lose, and we've gone all the way around the shitty gauge back to the start where half the time things are so shitty they work in my favor.
>start taking drugs because of depression and neetdom
>remain neet. depression intensifies
>become too depressed for drugs tonight
>bored & nothing to do
Just waiting for a black hole to pop up consume this fucking universe
>>17013067
How does a NEET get drugs?
You were right. We never got along, but you were right. You kept saying how controlling and crazy she gets when you try to hop the nest.
>sister constantly butts heads with mom
>tells me our mom is a bit loopy, very controlling and doesn't want us to 'move out'
>after months of them not getting along my sister successfully moves out
>know our mom is odd but just go about college and live at home, never getting into a single argument with her
>line up two interviews at places that will allow me to move out after some saving
>excitedly tell my mom about both expecting her to be happy for me
>she immediately puts both of them down
>"You'll have to go ALL THE WAY to that city?! I wouldn't."
>"Either one? This one is literally twenty minutes away. I could-"
>"Both. Both aren't worth it!" then stomps off to her room
>comes into my room later on to tell me I should focus on school instead and keeps acting disappointed when I speak about wanting to work
i wish you would stop lying to me and start telling the truth, so all this could be easier, did you say you were a bad liar because you are bad for lying or just bad at it
>>17013084
you gotta get away from that shit, no joke. get out of there.
>>17013119
protip, she's both.
I usually can't help but crack a smile when people use word play like that thinking they're clever.
Fucking fuck I invested a lost of time on that fucking assignment. Couldn't you have given me some fucking slack when grading it. Considering that you are a horrible fucking teacher and this was the first assignment we did. Fucking shit course Its fucking useless. Fucking hate your smug fucking ass die in a fire. Fucking fuck.
Fucking shit why did I waste 10 fucking hours on that fucking fuck assignment fucking hell. FUCK
well this has been predictable.
>>17013078
internet.
You would actually be surprised by how easy and reliable it is.
>>17013326
As a matter of fact, I think I would!
Teach me your ways, O guru of internet wisdom!
I wish I could go a single day without my mind being consumed by anxiety.
>>17013337
it depends on what you're looking for. Pills of all kinds can be found extremely easily if you just google review sites for international pharmacies. It takes a bit of work and a month or so of posting on a forum but eventually you will learn what to do.
There are also TOR networks(like the old silk roads that closed down) There are a lot of those type of thing where it's easy to find literally anything including weed, crack, heroin, and sex slaves. I'm not even joking.
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/apr/07/dinah-lesbian-festival-women-palm-springs
>I’m staying at the Hilton in Palm Springs, which is hosting the famous Dinah pool parties, and the hotel feels like a homosexual harem.
>“Flashing is normal,” Charlotte, 24, told me. “I get flashed at a lot.” Random girls pulling you into their hotel rooms are also pretty standard.
>Most of the girls were too drunk to realize or care. [refer again to random girls pulling you into their hotel rooms above].
>“What’s your angle?” I ask her. “Well, you know, we’re going to show all the tits and ass,” she says, as her cameraperson zooms in on just that, “and then we’re going to show why it’s actually really meaningful.” She pauses for a moment. “So far though, all we’ve got is the tits and ass.”
>Being able to strip off at the Dinah, then, is an empowering experience for a lot of women; a chance to embrace and celebrate their sexuality in a safe space. [something men don't have, they cant flash, pull women into their rooms at random to have sex with them, etc, without being labeled predators or rapists].
>I don’t know that Ban Ki-moon should necessarily get the security council to strip into swimwear and grope each other. However, there’s certainly something affirmative and cathartic about the experience. As Leah, a DJ in Boston, told me: “It’s the experience that college should have been.”
This is what I want for my heterosexual lifestyle, and Im tired of batshit feminists screaming about rape culture and calling all implied consent sexual assault or rape when guys play grab ass with girls. Im also tired of all the women who don't say a word about it but sit on the side lines and let men be treated like predatory monsters for wanting to indulge in sexual behavior like the lesbians in this article.
Im sick of women who don't speak up for men against this feminist shtick of calling males rapists and predators.
>>17013391
Cheers anon, but doesn't TOR draw a lot of unwanted attention to you? Where do you learn to use it properly?
So I'm not a full blown autist but I have some serious social anxiety and general insecurity issues. I'm doing an internship and a high ranking member of the firm, whom I had a sort of coffee date with three weeks ago, walks into my boss' office while I'm also there to ask a question, and, before he leaves, without making eye contact with me and acting as if I weren't even there, says, "let me tell you something, this guy, he's a good guy!" And then leaves.
Can someone who isn't an autist explain what this means. Was it genuine? Does it indicate that I come off as so shy and weird that someone feels the need to say this? Was it a practical joke and is everyone at work laughing at me behind my back?
I hate you, God.
You are systematically taking every single person I've met or care about out of my life one by one. They are either leaving, or changing and deciding we need to part ways.
Everything I enjoy is being taken away, shut down, or I'm being told I need to stop doing and focus on you.
"Everything happens for a reason." "Everything works out for the better for his plan."
No. Fuck that. You don't get credit for only the good things, you do terrible awful things to get your way as well.
I hate believing in you and knowing I'll end up in hell, but I refuse to follow someone like you. I turned to you once and look where it's brought me. I can never love a God who I never see, never hear. Going to Church? Looking to the Bible for answers? That's a relationship by proxy, not a true relationship.
Every time I ignore you, you take everything I care about. Just stay out of my life. I don't want anything to do with your version of "love", "mercy", or your "plan" anymore.
I wish for death
>>17013490
don't we all
>>17013485
Read Job
>>17013497
I have and it doesn't matter to me. Job still got fucked over. He didn't get his wife and kids back, God just replaced them with "better" ones and all just to prove a point to Satan."
I can't love a God that I cannot experience for myself, that is not a relationship. I do not care for his plan or what he wants for me, I'm content with what I have.
I want him to stop fucking taking everything to try to lead me somewhere else, I'm not interested. He's spited me one too many times and I'm done forgiving and done turning to him during hard times and good times alike.
Online people look up to me. People consider me a master I what I do. They freak out when I message them back or like one of their photos on any social media site. People will take screenshots of me liking their photo and sharing it with their friends who then freak the fuck out that I did that. Girls want to be with me and men want to be me. They see my photos and call me handsome or beautiful or a model. Everything I say gets quoted and shared and thought upon. I am able to easily talk to other incredibly respected people in my field as they look up to me as well. If I message any of the top dogs they will know of me. They all think I am insanely more successful than I really am.
But in life I am an absolute piece of shit loser. No one cares or knows anything about me. I am absolutely invisible. Girls never look at me and guys make fun of me. Girls laugh at me and call me ugly and other guys pick on me or make fun of my clothing which is incredibly basic. Just button up shirt and khakis or normal fitting jeans. I don't fit in with anyone. I am a complete loner and no one likes me.
I have an incredibly confused ego. Sometimes I feel like the best and I have achieved so much and other times I feel like a worthless piece of shit. I am broke and have no work at all. I wish I was who people think I am online.
I'm worried I have bpd but I don't want to admit it to anyone because then i'll have even less friends that trust me
>>17012941
Have you seen a doctor or ten?
>>17011912
I WANT TO START LIVING MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MY STORY HASN'T EVEN BEGUN AND YET I WANT THE HAPPY ENDING?????????? I'M GOING TO JOIN THE ARMY FOR ADVENTURE
I WANT TO CRY. I WANT THIS FEELING OF WANTING TO LIVE MY LIFE TO NEVER LEAVE ME. I WANT IT TO STAY.
>>17013537
>wah, my privilege has so many doors open for me.
>>17013585
>privilege
how the fuck does that have anything to do with privilege?
>>17012195
Stealthily give him your number or a way to talk to him. Not Facebook or anything public of course.
I hope things work out for you. If you start dating in secret remember to never get too cocky or confident because that's when you'll get caught.
>>17013518
The point is there is no point in questioning why this stuff happens. Its beyond our understanding. All you can do is do whatever you can to make your life and the lives around you as loving as possible
>>17013577
g e t o u t s i d e
>>17013587
>how the fuck does that have anything to do with privilege?
You're being praised because of halo effect.
>>17013630
>halo effect
see I get that. They like my work so they perceive me as better than I am in every way.
I don't see how that's a privilege though. What I do did take an incredibly amount of work, time, and effort. Privilege, from what I understand, is granted without having to do anything to get it.
>>17013598
Agreed
Life is what you make of it, I just want someone to stop intervening when he doesn't get his way.
Also sick of some of these people who insist you can lead a good life without him in it.
>love my job
>people there are awesome
>every now and then one of the women I work with who claim to be married exposes buttcrack or cleavage when they bend over
>legitimately can't tell if it's an accident or not
>this is literally the only thing that grinds my gears
>first world problems
Life is good.
>>17013620
ITS 5AM
The feeling is starting to subside. Hopefully its only going because its now become a part of me and that ill still be able to rely on it to fix myself
>>17013653
>I don't see how that's a privilege though. What I do did take an incredibly amount of work, time, and effort. Privilege, from what I understand, is granted without having to do anything to get it.
You're gettign judged positively for one thing you did, positively translated into all other aspects of your personality and life.
Some of the most charismatic nicest people turn out ot be rapists and serial killers.
Their charisma gave them a privilege and power their underlying personality didn't deserve. The power to seduce and murder/rape women.
You did one thing, or maybe a few things. Those things are not indicative of you as being a good person, of being worthy of respect, or treated nicely.
People see these few things you do, and then correlate your success there as being a success at being a good or viable person, and treat you well, without actually knowing you.
That is privilege, as like you said, privilege is being handed things you haven't worked for.
I'm finding it harder and harder to justify being a decent person. I never even thought about it much until the last couple of years. Didn't notice until someone told me. Just little things usually like helping an older lady reach a high shelf.
But I'm getting older and seeing that it never makes a difference. I get gray hair and see everyone just being total shits. I can't even find a job right now, not even low paying throwaway jobs. I have a daughter and wife to feed.
And what am I? A nice guy that can't even finish last. As it turns into months and months with almost no interviews I just wonder why I shouldn't rob people or scam them. Maybe just off myself in an accident so my family can be taken care of.
I'm jobless and bitter as fuck about it. I want to work and I'm a great worker and I can't even deliver goddamn pizza. What a waste of time my life has been.
i had cool whip for thefirst time today and it was the best thing ever.
I want to have a cool whip party and watch movies with a friend.
I dont have any friends. :) :) (: (:
>>17013754
What you are is a person that sees the complexity of civilization, the hypocritical way people are at once helpful for social reasons, but at the same time self involved, even selfish, and willing to hurt others to get their way, so long as it is done within the confines of narrowly defined social rules.
>>17013742
>op is confused about his self worth and possibly experiencing some form of "unearned" guilt
>he's obviously a sociopathic homicidal rapist
Please fuck off faggot.
>>17013754
Stop being a sadfag and start applying yourself more. Do you honestly believe you have to be a dick to be capable of success?
hi chris
>>17013768
strawman.
Im saying that like the best or the worst people, those around us assume positive or negative value about all our other traits, based solely on one look at one trait we show.
Thats why the rule of the land is "first impressions are the most important".
Dumbass.
>>17013770
Umm. Yes. Name a successful person that isn't. Or a nice person who has succeeded.
>>17013762
Are you in the states? I'll be your friend!
Cool hwip!
>>17013800
Yes and yay ^_^
I wish I could reach into my head and pluck my feelings out. I fell deeply in love with someone but it has no chance of working out. It kills me knowing that we fit so well together, but they're just out of my reach. I'm stuck with the memories I shared with them. The sound of their voice and their laugh, the feeling of their bare skin pressed against mine. The first time I felt at "home" with someone. And I can't have it.
>>17013800
Yes I certainly do! yay :}D
>>17013800
I certainly do; yay! ^w^
>>17013810
Initials?
>>17013742
Those people love my work. They love what I can do, what I can create. Like a musician or artist or singer with fans(I'm being vague on purpose) My peers like my work. It's the work that's getting the respect. The things I can create make them think I am pulling in tons of work and even some of the people that give out top tier work think I am getting a lot of work. But in reality I have a hard time getting a gig. It's absolutely frustrating. I'll get a message from someone I look up to that talks positive of me which really boosts my ego but then reality sets in and I feel like shit again. I tell them they are sorely mistaken on how much I earn. They always act surprised but I don't know if they are honest or what.
Girls find me attractive because of my work and only my work. I know I am terribly average looking but I'm a kind person that's also extremely awkward and shy. They see me as a celebrity and get super excited if I give them attention even if we have nothing in common at all. Multiple times has a girl lead me on just to say they have a boyfriend and they feel bad for talking to me(like a cheater). This has happened about 8 times now.
I just have a very confused self image. I get those messages of hardcore praise. I have almost a hundred pieces of mail from people calling me their hero and how they want to be like me. Or how I helped them with suicide and depression. But I just want to reply to them "No, don't say that. I'm a fucking loser. You don't want to learn from me. You don't want to be like me" All my exes follow everything I do online constantly like stalkers. They leave messages on news posts or magazine articles about me. It makes me super nervous all the time because they go from proud to crazy hateful and I never know what they are going to share about me to the public.
I have no friends to talk to so i'm just ranting. I'm not trying to brag because I honestly really do get treated that way and get those messages.
>>17013825
You now realize all people don't care about individuals, but about what individuals can do.
Bitches love guys with money, or fame, or social power through other avenues, etc. they like guys with classical abilities like artistic shit or military jobs.
If you have nothing, you are not a person who is valuable to be fucked or in a LTR with.
The same holds true of guys. They like a girl with looks. That's about it.
>>17013768
thanks anon. I am terribly afraid to even say this to anyone because I don't want them to see me as a sociopath or narcissist.
I don't think I'm nearly as good as the people claim I am but at the same time I feel like I have earned a bit of it. Which just adds to the confusion of it all. If you have any sort of confidence at all in my area of study people instantly think you're full of yourself. It's a field where people love to pretend they are extremely humble to the point where it's obvious they are exaggerating.
I'm not super famous or anything. My fans/subscribers/followers are in the low hundreds of thousands rather than in the millions like famous youtubers or indie bands. The little slice of public people looking my way it feels like they judge every word I say. I have a few people that just fuck hate the shit out of me for some reason and rag on everything I do.
At the same time I get all that praise but I still feel really alone. I like the attention I get but at the same time I wish I could just do what I do and everyone would just leave me alone. A lot of times I just feel like I let everyone down and they are disappointed in me.
I feel like writing a suicide note. I've been wanting to die for awhile, maybe writing a suicide note will help. I know I won't kill myself though.
This isn't anyone's fault. I just don't have the capacity to live with the pain I feel anymore. Mom and Dad, you've raised me better than I deserved, given me more than you needed, more than I've ever shown gratitude for. It's thanks to you and all of my family and friends I've had things to look forward to in life. Mom and Dad you are two of the most amazing people I know and your ability to provide love in the face of adversity has been a big inspiration in my life. Sisters, please let your children know that I was deeply troubled and in pain. I don't let this stain any positive memories of me. I wish I could've been a better uncle. Friends, you've been like a family to me and supported me in ways I wouldn't have imagined. I consider us blood, in some ways closer than family. I know this may hurt you the most because I've opened up a bit of my pain to you all, but please, don't blame yourselves, and please don't hate me for leaving. I've tried to shoulder most of this myself and it's really hard to explain anyway. I'm sorry. I love you all.
>>17013867
initials?
Still not over my ex. I cheated on my current s/o with him. Don't know why but I just can't seem to shake him off. I literally go to his facebook profile and always look through our old stuff we did together. I was happy. Like, I am happy now with my current s/o but, it's honestly not the same.
Yes I shouldn't have cheated on him but I thought I would be happier with who i'm with now. But it didn't really turn out as i planned it to be.
>>17013885
>being vague on purpose
>wants to remain anon
>>17011912
I'm incredibly angry, frustrated and disappointed with the people around me, but I'm actually just angry, frustrated and disappointed with myself.
The same goes for me being paranoid about people judging me, I just feel that way because I keep judging people constantly.
I'm terrible.
I couldn't care less about sex. It means nothing to me. I generally see it an exchange of services. I'd be fine having sex once every two weeks but men typically want it more often than that, and to them it is a huge deal. So if I feel like the person I'm dating deserves it, I'll let them plow me whenever they want. If they displease me, they get no sex. I'll give a boyfriend mindblowing sex in exchange for a Disney Cruise because Mickey Mouse is so worth it. Is that bad?
I don't understand how people can be horny so often. I wish I was more of a pervert.
Hey, hey. You know when a girl moans during sex? She's most likely faking it for your enjoyment. It means "I love you and want to make you happy", simple as that.
You see, the average girl doesn't grow up in an empty house. Silent orgasms are a very important skill for horny young ladies to have, otherwise their parents would hear what's going on every time masturbation occurred. I don't care how happy she seems during sex, it doesn't mean her noises come out naturally-- it's always more practical to shut your mouth when having an orgasm. Moaning is a learned skill, motherfuckers.
I make her squirt at least twice and she's always 'sore' but likes it when I put in more.
I can't tell if I have schitzophrenia or what, but I've started listening to that voice in my head instead of suppressing it. It even has its own personality and I have offended it before. It can read my mind, which leads to complete honesty no matter what. I've been doing so good thanks to just talking to it, it makes me feel so safe, l never feel alone now. What really set me onto the course of trying to get it to be more active is whenever I would cry myself to sleep, I would always have it try to make me feel better, and it would offer me advice on things.
I think the closest thing to what I have is called a tulpa? I'm not sure. But it's amazing. I love it.
For once in my life, I found a girl that actually had feelings for me, and I fucked things up.
I hate being autistic.
>>17013967
huh? while i can muffle my moaning during sex it ALWAYS feels better if i let it out.
you does not equal everyone. try being less egocentric.
>>17014037
I agree I'm a female and it just happens I'm not exactly aware of it.
Don't judge all women by the frigid hoes you've fucked.
I feel like slime. I keep turning down jobs when I get offers. I always find something wrong with them. It doesn't help that anything I read about job searching online is dominated by talk of basically saying employers are God and if they EVER grace you with their "generosity" you should instantly grovel at their feet and accept. These people talk down to anyone who tries to speak to the contrary.
I feel overly privileged because I live at home at 21 rent-free, and thus have the ability to try and find a "perfect" job that has good hours, enhances my resume, etc. I'm incredibly grateful for this, but I still feel like slime for not instantly taking whatever retail or fast food job I can. I partially feel like I shouldn't. I have made all the right choices financially: living at home, not knocking anybody up, taking as many classes at CC as humanly possible while at a 4-year school, but at the end of the day, none of that matters to people in the "real world".
>>17014037
You sure the "it feels better" thing isn't psychological? It feels better for me too, in the same way that laughing at nothing can actually make you feel happier.
>trying to have a conversation about our sex issues and how we can make them better
>bf being flippant
>say maybe I should just find a gf on the side
>'sure'
>or a bf
>'yeah whatever go ahead'
>seriously?
>'i know you not serious and you're just trying to get a rise out of me'
>maybe I am serious
>i know you and I know you aren't
I was serious. I love him, but I'm dying for a the tiniest drop of sexual chemistry and I'd happily find some guy or girl on the side at a similar wavelength.
I wish I could be religious, I just want some ritual.
Everyday is this continuous cycle of me not doing fucking anything. I'm a senior in HS, and I'm freaking out everyday, reflecting on all of the shit I didn't do. I feel like on second, I was leaving my cringy autistic self in middle school. Everything began to go to shit, by the end of freshman year. I've been wanting to better myself, but I can't bring myself to just become a better person. I try to exercise and I quit after a day. I'm self conscious, my scalp is always flakey, my nips are puffy, I'm short. Work sucks, it seems like my co workers talk behind my back. I just fucking hate myself. Sorry if this doesn't make any sense, my head is always cluttered and my thoughts have been an incoherent mess for months now. There's other things that fuck with me, but I don't feel comfortable addressing them.
everyone that's important to me dies
the things i want, i never got
everytime i could've be happy i got sad instead
after years and years of wishing for things i was left to watch other people get it instead
i work and i work and i work and i work but nothing works out in the end
i could have died and i should have died, i could have lived and i should have lived, but i feel like existing in the inbetween
does this even make sense to anyone
when will this be over, i wonder
just let me rest, won't you
i am tired
>>17013049
I'm on effexor and zyprexa and take oxazepam as needed. Lamictal also worked wonders for me but it gave me crazy acne.
>>17013546
I have.
>>17014004
Just wait until it start telling you to do ridiculous and dangerous things. It'll start out small but the demands will grow. Seek help before things come to this anon, voices are NEVER a good sign.
I've been getting nightmares too lately, I grind my teeth during those dreams.
It's really annoying and I'm getting stressed out when I have to sleep.
I just need for someone to call me a retard or something, I don't know.
I can already tell that I'm starting to develop feelings for a girl that I met online.
Shes a few years younger than me, on medications for bpd and depression, and she's a shut in irl so she uses the internet for an outlet to get attention that she's missing out on in the real world.
Of course I'm no catch myself, but she gives me attention, and because of her situation, I feel like I have to look out and protect her, even though she says she doesn't need it.
I'm probably only catching feelings because she is literally the only girl in a long time that has showed me any attention or interest that i find attractive/interesting and like back, so someone give me reinforcement that this is a horrible idea.
>>17013810
I know those feelings, and you sound like someone I cared deeplly about too...
Can I ask your initials, or where you are from, Anon?
>>17012084
Well, shite.
Last conversation kinda ended like "it's been a pleasure", maybe I'm reading it wrong but I hope it doesn't mean I won't get to talk to her too much.
She couldn't hang out with us that night either so I couldn't see her.
I know this guy he rather negative. Says he will do shit but makes excuse. He pretends that he doesn't care but he does. Annoying me cause it's like I'm not this way. It's frustrating. Like " I'm not the type to get offended" say something" then goes on a hypocrital rant about everything. Wtf thought I was the woman her
>>17014855
How specifically? What is he trying to accomplish and what does he complain about?
>>17011912
I'm so scared and I don't know why.
Do I want a hug? Why am I flinching? Why am I panicking? Do I want them to go? Why do I want to cry? Why am I so scared?
It's not making any fucking sense and it's INFURIATING.
>>17014916
He is just negitive. Like I send him a pic of food complains how he lacks in income. Send him example of what an 8/10 is and complains my answer of what I find in my opinion is an 8 is lame as if he's hinting its no better than him (in my opinion what it comes off as) or how lame he looks. Like everything he complains about he has shit to say that at some point what should I do I want advice should I shove it straight to him about the point he's need to shut upo and stop being a hypocrite and just listen to yourself and you can't handle othr people's opinions. I'm tired of his negative thinking is pretty much uncomfortable. Need youre advice anon. I'm a woman how does a man have more issues than a woman wtf
Moved into a new apartment and the construction work has been going on since i got here, day and night. Been over a month.
The hot water just turned back on after being out for a week (i took the 3 coldest showers of my life, that was fucking ice water).
Right now it's 10:00 PM and they're drilling, hammering, and pounding like there's no tomorrow.
I'm a tolerant guy but it's finally starting to wear on my nerves.
>suddenly feel like my old self
>suddenly no anxiety
>suddenly want to do things I used to like
This is very weird but I only feel calm and a little refreshed.
Ah, not this shit again. Why do I always take things personally? Insults and insults really have bad impacts on me..
I'm in lust. I wanna see him again and soon >:[
>>17016306
Follow up: idk what's happening to me. I didn't wanted him this badly before but the more we fuck the more I want him around. But it's not love, though I guess I could? I don't know. Something's weird happening with me, am I catching feeling or am I jus really horny?
>girlfriend gets a new haircut and asks my opinion of it
>it's full-on sexhair
My heart has a boner and my boner has a boner
>>17016306
>>17016317
A litle note of explenation: I wasn't a virgin before him but sex sucked. He's the first sexual partner i enjoyed.
>>17016327
Post that haircut pls I need an inspo
How the fuck did I (6/10 Overweight guy) get her (8-9/10 Thin Chick) to go out with me?
I can't see it at all
>>17016338
Your winning personality and beautiful smile. Or she's retarded.
Life is pointless. Really lame. hate it here . I don't wanna kill myself because God is real but i might pray for death......
>>17016342
Doubtful on the retarded part, and on Personality.
>>17016348
Who cares dude, you scored a qt. She's probably as insecue as you are.
This mac&cheese im eating sucks
>>17016331
I can't really find a good pic of it, and a pic of her obviously isn't going to happen.
This photo comes close, but most Google results are completely different. Let's say it's similar to this and the other pic.
I should be finishing my statement but I get incredibly insecure and procrastinate. What if I'm not good enough? What if I'm too stupid and foreign?
I-I want into uni ._. but I'm such a failure already
>>17016359
Noice, thanks man
>>17016351
True, Still shocked though. But yea, I think I scored a qt. Lets see how this goes.
>>17016317
Well why not see where things go? You may not like to admit it to yourself but you are catching feelings. Such a sexual bond may not be a bad place to start a relationship
The first will love you, the second will deceive you, and the third will show you the way.
>>17016507
My first girlfriend, my wife, and my new love?
You can't be certain that this is gut-wrenchingly true...
>Call forth the power of the twins. The twins are two in one. The twins are identical to each other.
my bf doesn't sext me anymore, he pushes me away like I'm an annoying child. we are LDR. haven't been able to visit for a few months which is very frustrating on both ends.
I read that men get tired of women's bodies after a time. it makes me want to die, I'm almost underweight with how slender I am, I make efforts with lingerie and fetish and my appeaeance. but he'd rather watch porn than interact with me
>>17016588
I was in your position last year. I went full blown anorexic after my SO made some comments about his ex and how he left her because he knew she'd get fat. I was underweight to begin with and then in just a few months I was 94 pounds. I'm 115 now and he loves this much better because sex is a lot less painful for him. Anyway, I don't think a guy could get tired of a womans body. We've been together for 3 years (LDR) and see eachother regularly. Talk to him. Have a night where you two can be honest about your feelings and you can let it all out. And when you see him again, before you leave, make sure to always tell him anything that's bothering you so you don't leave with that in your head and keep it bottled up for months until you see him again. I do that and I feel a lot less sad when I have to leave and pretty happy knowing I told him certain thingshe does make me jealous, sad, mad etc. Good Luck!.
Eh, I'm sick and tired of my life always going to shit it feels like every time something good happens it's immediately followed by something terrible like life will only give me good just so that my fall hurts just that much more so unless something miraculous happens I'm gonna an hero with in the week wish me luck
I'd probably have a better opinion of women if they ever stopped fucking hurting me
>>17013821
>>17014528
Both of our names begin with A. Not that it matters, even if he did end up reading my post. I've been a broken record about how much everything has hurt me. I can't keep going around and around telling him how I feel, how I wish things were different, in the hopes that it might change something. I think he's nearing the end of his tolerance for me about it. Nothing can be fixed...
I just dreamed about the garden again. I don't know why this garden keeps popping up in my dreams, but it's clearly important to me for some reason, because every dream involves me either getting lost and finding my way to the garden by chance, or searching for the garden and sneaking in, because no one is supposed to be in there.
I usually place exactly no importance in dreams, but this garden is important to me. I don't know what I need to do about it, but I feel strongly that I need to do something. I'm confused and tired.
>>17013577
>I'M GOING TO JOIN THE ARMY
please don't
we have enough borderline-autistic manchildren without your sorry ass in the mix
>>17016721
But anon, don't you want them to become society-contributing men?
>>17016363
DOOO ITTTTTTTT.
It's not like it gets easier when you're out of uni with zero relevant work experience and have to write a CV. Comparatively in a personal statement for uni you can get so much more creative with your tone and your topics. You don't have to just talk about your achievements. Talk about your passions and your character, get colorful as FUCK. They want something interesting to read, not a list to tick off.
PROTIP
if you're trying to become wildly successful, don't be discouraged when no one else gets what you're doing. you're trying to get somewhere that the vast majority of people never get to... they don't get there because they don't understand how to get there. so while you may or may not have figured out how to get there, the vast majority of people aren't going to understand what the fuck you're doing and the vast majority of people are gonna talk shit or look at you sideways or be like "the fuck is this dude doing he's not doing what everyone else is doing" fuck what everyone else is doing. take no advice from people that aren't in the position you want to be in.
I feel no one ever addresses the fact that wild success requires you to run a race that a very few, VERY FEW, successfully finish. doing what everyone else does isn't gonna cut it and you need to be mentally strong enough to do what you need regardless of those same people who aren't making it and what they say. you need to be mentally strong enough to take what is essentially the longest most arduous journey that you can take on, by yourself. you can't expect even those closest to you to understand what you're doing.
and btw, you may find that those closest become jealous, horribly so. you may find that you need to cut people off, you need to be able to do that without it throwing you off.
PROTIP 2
depression can be dramatically reduced by exercise. also if you feel tired a lot of the time, counter-intuitively so, exercise helps. so get to the gym.
PROTIP 3
become less tolerant. I don't mean of people's rights or other people in general, I mean less tolerant of toxic behavior. people that lie, fuck that. people that have stolen from you, fuck that. people that talk shit behind your back, fuck that. people that defame you behind your back to manipulate your social sphere, fuck that. just don't tolerate it, its not worth it and it takes up energy and resources that you could put toward success.
>>17016507
And the third at the coming of day.
>>17016940
>>17016940
This anon is very wise. I suggest other anons take his advice.
>>17012442
I know that feeling man.
Dated a girl for 5 years. She's always been jealous type. We move states together and I need friends. Find some at work, two guys two girls. Two guys get better jobs and move away. Just me and two chicks. Girlfriend throws a fit every time we hang out.
Bitch then goes and joins a club where she spends twenty hours a week and it is 80% guys. Flush with dude friends. Not at all fair. Tell her she's never trusted me. Move out. Ride horses with my best girl bud, drink with my lesbian buddy who wingmans for me at bars.
Life can't get better. Live free while you can. Don't get shacked up with issues chick. Especially if the bitch doesn't put out.
I hate you all. i hate myself i hate this world i want to die. please God make my death as painless and peaceful as possible.
I regret leaving my girlfriend.
>>17011912
I've spent years with her and it has been fun and all but lately it doesn't feel the same. Her clinginess irritates me and I can have friends because it cuts into "our" time which just causes arguments. I just want so much more time for myself and I don't have the heart to break it to her.
"What went wrong?"
Me. Those images hurt a lot. There were only two other images that could have hurt me even more than the ones posted.
If I wasn't so stupid, I could come up with a solution to this that ends with me being with him. I am stupid, though. I'm getting way too used to just saying "I don't know" especially with regards to this.
God I wish I could go back in time and just tell you to go to bed on Monday. Now you think it's all going to shit but I can't stop thinking of you and wish you would say something. Idc if you think I'm only interested in sex, I care about you too much to just let you go. And I know you think there's still a chance too, that's why you keep reading my messages. I want you to talk to me so it will all go back to the way it was, I feel like I'm going to vomit constantly
I fucked up today
I should have started writing a paper thats due on tuesday and I didnt. Im fucked.
I should have worked on my weeks worth of math assignments, but I didnt. Now Im fucked.
I skipped my last 2 math classes and physics classes. I get the stuff easily, but still feel like shit because of the principal of it.
Didn't really eat enough today, so feel bad about that.
didnt take a shower last night. Feel like a dirty piece of unhygenic shit
Im starting to think I might be a pedo, but not sure. I dont want to be one....
I met a new friend over the internet and had a handful of skype converastions with him, and now I havn't heard from him in 6 days and I am afraid that he might have killed himself.
Suicidal thoughts at half past four in the morning.
Wife is sleeping, don't want to disturb her.
Friend is mostly ignoring me at the moment, don't want to continue badgering her.
So: hello, internet.
Hello hello.
Ok, let's try and get back to sleep.
>be years ago
>move out
>car tire magically pops one night
>fast forward
>lots of crazy bullshit happens for months
>realize tire may have been popped
>fast forward to a week or so ago
>talking to this dude and told him I thought my tire had been popped before crazy bullshit, shrug if off and shit
>tire got fucked pretty good today
>angriest I have been in a while
>mfw replacing tires pisses me off
>mfw at least I have a warranty
>mfw they haven't invented impenetrable rubber for tires yet
>>17016706
I wish I had a safe place like that in my head. All my dreams are nightmares.
>>17014248
I remember that feeling.
It CAN get better. Trust me, I know from experiance, it sure as hell cant get worse. Feeling like time is driving you forward when all you want to do is stop and wait.
>Met girl online
>met up once smoked hung out it was nice, we surprisingly related really well and got along well
>informs me through text she just wants to be friends not looking to get close
>hung out last night, it's like we were best friends, got along perfectly, read each others minds
>feel like I'm falling for her a bit
She ditched on our plans to go to a show today, and ignored me when I asked if she wanted to smoke, then I realized I was coming off desperate and she seemed like she was being distant, flipped the script and I am ignoring her and getting her attention more
Do I go for the kiss next time I see her or should I wait till she shows some sort of sign that she wants something? I don't want to make things weird between us because she's a good friend to have, but I feel like I want to just take the chance and find out for sure, but I would think she would show me she wants me if she did
How do I already feel like I have feelings for someone new. Does it go to show I never really needed her, and that I was just lonely and would have accepted anyone? I'm not going to let myself get too attached to new girl, but fuck is her smile, eyes, and face pretty. She's also very kind and giving and smart and cool, kinda quarky, awkward, bad memory, druggie, "ex" klepto, and has a strange hobby, seems kind of sociopathic. Definitely seems broken and like she has red flags though. She cuts herself, I'll have to ask about that soon. I don't think I could ever see myself w a relationship w this girl, but wouldn't be bad having her as a friend
>>17017589
Don't dive right into a kiss, that's awful and awkward. Touch her first, hand on the thigh, arm around shoulder and gauge it from there. If she doesn't show disinterest then go forward more. Abort if she gets distant and starts talking about what a great friendship you could have or something
I have to get my parents to recognize that my undiagnosed ADHD that I'v had since I was a child is cutting into my life and studies.It's been obvious since my birth, yet never seen again as my father has it but just brushes it off as "I have to keeping moving ! ". I'm not hyper,I'm cant focus for shit and when eat something like Potato,rice or pasta(my main source of food in my house) I can't think in a straight line.
And there we go again, I guess. I think I need to properly start searching for a way to numb myself . The only answer I can come to for all of this.
>>17015538
Sorry for responding so late but.
Sounds like he would need to lose some to get some. He has to see his negativity doesn't help him, doesn't help you. I know this is harsh but give him some sort of ultimatum there and tell him straight that he's acting like a bitch and to come back to you when he's done having a vagina.
I used to be negative as well for a few years and in no way did it help me or anyone around me. Just made things worse, so yeah, make him realize he could lose something if he doesn't stop.
I sleep 16-18 hours a day.
>>17018247
Are you a cat?
I like cats.
>>17018271
No those are puppies.
Really fucking not trying to be racist, but...
>lived in nice small town then lots of people moving in past few years
>lots of blacks I noticed and was fine with because I knew a few beforehand
>house broken into twice by blacks (security cams)
>blacks sabotaging and vandalizing my property (on fucking camera)
>go to a station to fill up
>blacks fighting each other and shit tossed on car
>stop by local restaurant
>black literally sides me and tells me to give him money
>tell him no and he threatens me
>talk to nephew that's working now in this city
>robbed twice by blacks
Jesus.
>>17016338
because guys get to pick what they're attractive for
a fat guy who's funny is a funny guy, that's his thing, that's why girls love him
a fat woman who's funny is just a fat woman. funniness, social status, or anything else, doesn't do jack shit to improve her looks, which remain at the forefront of mate selection. hence your awe at the fact that someone "physically" attractive would go out with you. because that IS top priority for you.
no, it's not a bad thing. it's just how you work. just keep in mind that if she leaves because the money well dries up or because someone else with an equally good personality and better looks comes along that's HER mate selection happening.
>>17014167
I've thought about it and for me it's more along the lines that keeping myself quiet and its associated reasons for doing so requires concentration that I could be putting into enjoying sex.
I know that you secretly long for and crave that neglect, that rejection and turmoil. I am not blind to your history, and I know much more about why you feel as you do than you can imagine. You seek what you never had, but the person that will fill that place, cannot be too nice, too kind.
I'm so frustrated that I don't know what I want from women anymore. I turn 30 in 4 months and I feel like I should have some idea, but I can't get it sorted.
Frankly I feel like I've gotten to the point where the girls I think are perfect I've put on too big of a pedestal, so I inevitably fumble even if they like me, and I get zero satisfaction from settling for someone I can just act natural around.
I've fallen in love with this girl whom I met online. She lives too far away for us to ever meet and im pretty sure shes not serious about our relationship as well.
>>17018276
Puppies aren't real. Silly anon.
Had an interview Thursday. I was told they would call me about the second interview Friday.
Still no call.
I nailed the interview, so this confuses me.
>>17018291
>Really fucking not trying to be racist, but...
You know what? This shit is beginning to bother me. The racial narrative. I was on Plebbit, in a thread about what being a soldier is like, and one has this same sentiment. Working with muslims made him racist, and one of the downsides of being a soldier is that it can turn you racist... against a religion/culture, but whatever.
The thing is, you're not paranoid when they're really after you. And you're not racist for noticing trends. Facts are facts, and the fact is that niggers commit crime. Is this because of inborn genetics? I reall don't give a fuck. All I know is that I don't like niggers and muslims, and somehow it's a big taboo for me to say that, while they say the same about white Western people openly, and often.
And I'm done being a peace dove. Anyone who doesn't like white people can just get the fuck out of white countries, and I vote for far right parties that promise to make it happen. I don't care any longer about being called racist. In fact, I wouldn't ever consider voting for someone who hasn't been called racist at least once. Because these days, it's basically the first buzzword some people use when they can't form a coherent argument. I mean, remember that video with "AIDS Skrillex"? He goes from saying that white people have never known prejudice, to discriminating a white dude on his age WITHIN FIVE FUCKING MINUTES. I'm not going to let people like that tell me what sort of person I am.
>studying to build my vocabulary for the GRE
>mfw keep mixing up nettlesome and mettlesome and getting them wrong when they come up
life is suffering.
I like my small-ish side of average breasts a lot on my own. They're cute and perky and sensitive, and I think they look really nice. But having a boyfriend makes me feel so self-conscious about them. I've never been with a guy who prefers smaller breasts, only men who rave about huge tits, and I have to ask repeatedly for my current boyfriend to give them any attention even though they're so sensitive, when I know he jerks it almost exclusively to porn stars with large breasts. It just sucks. Show your lady's breasts some love, guys, even if they aren't your ideal.
>>17019151
hmu i'll suck on those little tits for hours
>>17018867
I want /pol/ to go
I've made peace with the fact that I'll die alone. It's not so bad.
>>17018271
I went to sleep 3am on saturday morning. I just woke up at 11am sunday.
....
>>17019326
Forgot to add, I did wake up for an hour or so during that time but when I got up from the computer and saw my bed I immediately felt tired again and fell into it, passing out instantly.
>>17019330
Meow, mother-fucker.
I'm into this guy that is my friend. Even if I told him he wouldn't believe me. My feelings kinda developed over time and I can't do much about it, I avoid talking to him (I'm in a relationship) etc. It's not a consuming infatuation thing, I sleep just fine, I just know that I like him. But I don't see us having a future, it's just too weird. He probably wouldn't want to anyway.
>>17012377
Lmao that's actually fucking hilarious, but sorry you were with such a tool
>>17019408
Initials?
>>17017416
>Me. Those images hurt a lot. There were only two other images that could have hurt me even more than the ones posted.
what did they even post?
was it as bad as pic related?
>>17011912
I hate the fact i am in an online relationship. I am fucking faking every moment of it. Every 'I love you' every 'you're so pretty!'. I literally feel nothing for her, if she was right here with me then maybe I could do it.
Any advice guys?
>>17019548
Disengage.
Doesn't matter how, but do it.
The last thing you want to do is then get into a real life relationship built on the same insincerity, and find yourself regretting it ten years down the line.
Trust me on this.
>>17019565
>The last thing you want to do is then get into a real life relationship built on the same insincerity, and find yourself regretting it ten years down the line.
I'm sorry,I dont understand. Could you explain it a little more for me?
someday new socks won't be luxury.
>>17019277
Yeah but I'd rather speed it up.
Hey. I always do my best to put on a brave face, to not show signs of weakness, to remain cheerful in the face of obstacles. But, truth be told, I cry every other day. I'm lonely, though I have no right to be, since I have friends and family. But there's this void in me, which I can't seem to fill. Hobbies don't help. Social activities don't help. I crave that special kind of companionship, but I never learned how to find it. I was never taught.
>>17011977
We all have to die sometime, anon
Why not just enjoy the ride?
I should have listened when they told me to not stop antidepressants cold turkey
>>17020179
Ugh.
How long since you stopped? You holding up ok? Withdrawal is rough.
>>17020179
yeah, I had brain zaps for months
It was even more infuriating because of the fact that the meds had no effect at all. I still felt like shit
>>17020184
Last monday was my last one. I've spent the past few days being bombarded with emotions I haven't felt in in a long time.
Looking back I didn't exactly pick the best time to stop either.
I hate all those "rekt" videos/images. If you don't know what it is, don't google it!
I mean, if they are in a dedicated thread, then fine! Easy to skip 'em or ignore if that's not your cup of tea... but when not warned... they are the worse, you don't know what to expect, so you be like watching it, then be shocked and can't unsee what you did and it haunts you. Fuck y'all who do that. I mean it, fuck.
All have a good day!
>>17020324
I agree I saw only a screen shot of one that still haunts me.
>>17020324
>>17020363
am I missing something here?
>>17020295
It'll be ok eventually. You can get through it.
>>17019583
Not him but they said that you should not apply the fake-ness of this "relationship" to future real life and physical relationships, as you WILL regret it further down the line.
Been there done that, albeit for 10 months not 10 years
>>17014004
I get suckered into youtube comments made by really stupid mother fuckers.
Same thing for really stupid fuckers here.
I want to think they are just trolling but they are just so serious. How can people be this fucking stupid?
>>17011912
I have raging oneitis for my ex girlfriend. I moved to the other side of the planet from her 2 years ago.
I've been in love with her for almost 4 years now. Never lost feelings for her.
She could feel the same way but I'm too terrified of my feelings for her to officially bring it up.
I met this qt the other week and we hit it off and we've been talking and we hung out recently and we've made out a few times and maybe I can finally lose my virginity to this girl but it doesn't feel the same.
Just because i don't ask to hang out doesn't mean I don't want to be friends. I'm not use to doing that kind of shit. I'm use to just being by myself. And i don't like rejection. I mean if you invite me I'll come but please don't take offense if you don't hear from me. I'm bad at this
I'm really fucked up over this baby dying. It's been over a month, I never even met the baby, and I've known others that have died, why do I feel this upset over this particular baby?
>>17020709
Initials?
just such a good slash
Not sure what I want to do with my life. At all.
I'm 24 with next to no college education, no money, and am going to be getting my license suspended in a few months.
The thought of moving to a city in a place like Wyoming and working a grunt job for a few years sounds like a vacation to me.
Thinking about taking online classes in the interim.
I need to grow the fuck up. I'm signing up for classes tomorrow.
I constantly think about what I want to do, especially when I see people in their big houses. Part of me really wants to begin some kind of military service or pursue a degree but it seems like it could easily become overwhelming, the other part of me just wants to stay where I am forever, and learn to be happy and comfortable there.
Adulthood and reality hit way too hard way too fast. I think there is a very good possibility that I suffer from some mental impairment that is related or similar to depression/BPD. I don't like to admit it.
Can girls please stop peeing in front of me?
I dont care if we want to fuck each other
I dont care if we HAVE already fucked each other
I dont wanna see girls peeing and I dont want them peeing! Keep some things private and sacred holy shit
My boyfriend just shrugs me off when I'm sad/depressed and when I cry. I even push away the thought that he treats me like shit because I might just be exaggerating. He doesn't hurt me physically or anything and he has a terrible temper. But even despite of that I always try to understand him and take care of him because I know I'm not perfect and I don't have the best personality ever. What makes this worse is that I don't have friends too since I pushed them away because of my depression and I feel like it's best that way so no one would know. It's also hard to recover from the time that my friends wronged me w/c is another reason. But, I don't know I feel like I'm the one in the wrong, I'm the one causing this to myself. It's driving me crazy because I feel like I am unfit for any kind of relationship. For once I just want to feel loved and appreciated.I just want someone to confide in when I have problems. I'm so fucking miserable I might as well just die
>>17021173
Heres the thing with depression. Everyone will say they are supportive and that they will be there for you. Fucking everyone says it. They say you can talk to them at any time and to be completely honest with them.
They don't know what they are getting into. They will get tired of you in a month or two. Every. Fucking. Time.
Your depression is yours to deal with and yours alone. You can't expect someone else to burden your shit. Think how miserable it makes you feel and then putting that on someone else makes them feel just as shitty.
It sucks but that's just the way it is. I can say this from experience. The only person that is going to help you with your shit is someone you pay. So go and get a therapist.
>>17021162
Wtf man, you're happy to stick your dick inside her but you're not comfortable seeing her sit on a toilet and pee, even tho you can't actually see anything?
Lmao here's literally nothing 'sacred' about chicks peeing you fucking retard.
>>17021162
Girls, please ditch this guy and pee in my mouth.
>>17021262
I dont know why it bothers me but it does
I pretend it doesnt, but it does
If I need to pee and Im round a girls/shes round mine, I go the bathroom and close the door
They seem to just wanna pee in front of you as quick as they can!
I dont think its a girl thing, I think Im just more private about going to the bathroom in general. Im a private shitter for one, dont ever shit outside my own home
Always pee in the stalls coz cant pee in urinals, cant pee with people watching me. Makes me hella uncomfortable
Its just my own personal hangup, dunno where it comes from
Suckin on tits its weird
You really, really wanna do it. You arent sure why. And then you do it, and its fun and hot and shit, but you feel like you're not getting somewhere you should be getting
I know its a callback to breastfeeding but cmon now can we just pretend we dont know that
I think I may have drunkenly revealed that I browse 4chan last night. Either that or it was a nightmare in my drunken sleep.
Nobody has said anything...should I worry?
>>17021240
I'm still studying though so I can't pay. I could ask my parents but I don't want them to know I'm a mentally unstable piece of shit. But I've always wanted to seek professional help so I'd know what's happening to me.
And you're right, no one else can fix me and make me better. I guess I'm just going to avoid relationships until I get better.
I'm getting fat. I haven't lived near a gym for years and the equiptment I have isnt enough.
I moved to a new city only to find the nearest gym is like 3 miles away and exclusive for athletes. I tried jogging anyways.
Find out I have grass allergies. New city is basically out in the middle of an open grassy field.
I'm getting fat and feel stuffy and tired and barely have the energy to do anything anymore...
>>17021330
Yep. You're not getting milk, that's the part that's missing.
i think im going mad
