>Seeking advice
I'm currently at University and not really enjoying it. I know it's easy for everyone to say, "just keep going, you'll come out with a degree," but the stress of it all seems to hit me really hard and I just can't handle it. Not to mention, I've seen plenty of people, who I've considered to be successful, talk about how they never went to University and it's only necessary if you want to be a Doctor, Lawyer, Academic, etc, etc.

All I want is a job where I work four days a week, maybe two full on days and two shorter days (if that's possible), and earn enough to live solo in my own apartment + a little extra to live semi-comfortably on my own.

If this is really my only goal in life at the moment, is it really worth spending the next three years of time and money on a degree?

For a bit of context I live in Australia, not a lot of job variety and quite high cost of living. And I'm studying Computer Science, not really because I'm passionate about it - simply because it seemed like a good idea due to the seemingly exponential growth of technology.

Will I ever get someone as good as him again?

>>17003414
There's plenty of people who at this very moment are alone, going through life, for the most part, by themselves. The majority of these people are more than interested in a relationship they themselves just might not notice it yet, or they might simply be scared, afraid of the commitment it brings. I'm sure everyone has been in this situation at least once in their lives, maybe more than once, or maybe even their whole life.

The point I'm trying to make is that there's thousands of people existing every single day who just want someone to love them back. As for them being 'as good as him,' I'm sure a lot of them will be. You might meet someone new, compare them to 'him' and notice that they just don't have/do x,y and z like 'he' did. You might be so focused on the things that 'he' did right that you miss all the things the new guy is doing better.

Every single person is different and possesses different strengths and weaknesses. And hey, it's not like people are static, traits can always be changed. You can morph new guy into better guy by giving him the things you loved from 'him' and taking away the things you hated about 'him.'

Don't let this one guy ruin the rest of us.

Goodluck <#

im 25m, American. I'm thinking about quitting job and taking a 6month long trip to Europe. Is that irresponsible?

>Seeking advice
I'm a 19 year old female college student and I want to lose my virginity before I turn 20, but I don't want to lose my v-card to a total stranger. I've had a couple relationships in the past, but for whatever reason, they never became sexual. I don't drink, or go out to bars or clubs, I have slight social anxiety, and all the men I'm friends with are gay. How the hell do I put myself out there irl to get a boyfriend again? I'm not too hard to look at, but my problem is that I completely spaghettify when any straight guy over a 6/10 looks in my direction.

>>17003496
>I've had a couple relationships in the past, but for whatever reason, they never became sexual
red flag lol

>>17003496

what's the reason for wanting to lose it before you turn 20?

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>giving advise
Grow food, seriously, is fun, easy, rewarding and it saves you a shitload of money, i have here a list of some easy to grow food plants:
Tomatoes, lettuce, corn, plum, potatoes(the easiest), garlic, onion, strawberries and peanuts

and if you smoke cigarretes you could grow your own tobacco,*or weed*, either way, you save money, witch is a good thing.

>>17003496
You don't need to lose your virginity by a certain age before society despises you, you're not a guy.

> Seeking Advice
Even at therapy, I keep circling the drain about what my "passion" is. My therapist wants a direct answer, but I can't give it. I'm interested in so many things it's overwhelming. And because it's so much, I don't get passionate, but moderately interested instead.

What do?

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I turned away from a situation and I as positive it was the right choice.

Fast forward 3 days, my brain is completely fucking me up. Enormous and relentless doubts have bee nagging me non-stop. Things like

>It could still work, you just quit too early
>you missed a huge chance
>you fucked up
>you shouldn't have done that
>you made the wrong choice

How do I move past this? It's driving me insane.

>seeking advice

Dealing with a very invasive family member. They started remotely going through my devices with hacking software, made my last phone force factory reset after leaking photos. Now that I have a different deadbolt on my bedroom and different phone, he still got through and stealing shit again.

They literally won't stop and moving out is not an option right now since I'm trying to go back to school after this next job(no money saved). I got another job coming up and worry they'll take advantage of me being away from the house again.

This person has ruined my rep at my last job and the last three weeks working there were in horror because how co-workers talked shit and did things to me. Told my supervisor about the situation between the co-workers but decided trying to resolve the issue wouldn't work because the extent of the damage to my life.

Look /adv/, I just want to live in peace. Whatever was leaked on the Internet can't be taken down. The material he has he will keep using wherever I go. I can't even use my phone properly because he reloads it with spyware. I just need sound advice.

>Seeking Advice

How do I talk to a girl after talking to her so much via internet. We talk on snapchat, facebook, texting, skype, etc etc
But when (at least on my end) I try and talk to her in real life, it's kind of awkward.

I dunno, I feel like it's easier to talk in the url because I can actually see what I'm writing. I guess in the irl I run out of things to actually say because we talk so much in the url.

How do I stop running out of things to say?

>>17003543
>I'm interested in so many things it's overwhelming
You're not. Trust me.

A good way to find your passion/dream is to put yourself in an environment where the only thing you can do is DREAM about what you actually want to do.
Whatever comes into your mind at that moment, is your passion.

I'm not saying get yourself a shitty job and work for 5 years. But you need to put yourself through this time of frustration in order to find your true passion. Rather than being a lazyass and letting your dreams be dreams.

>>17003489
Not at all, IMO. You're an independant and free adult, but I would suggest you to think it further. What if you find yourself impoverished when you finish the travel? Gather as much money as you can before doing so?

>>17003535
This, femanon. Don't worry.

>>17003389
Take internship
Do student exchange
Volunteer

If you know you're not passionate about it, start looking elsewhere. Never give up on your studies, unless you are certainly sure on what you're going to pursue.

>seeking advice
Hey guys I'm an 18 year old a year away from finishing school. Recently I enough I asked a girl out and she said she had to think about. I said get back to me with an answer as soon as you can. Two weeks pass by and nothing. Recently enough I find out she is avoiding me and saying how she wouldn't go out with me. I got my answer from a friend of hers. Before this happened I got Intel she liked me off another friend and I went on that intel and asked her out.
She hasn't come back to me with a response officially. According to her friend she can be "two faced in these matters" did there's still "hope" I'm pretty pissed off with her as she hasn't gotten back and hasn't the balls to give me an answer but instead I receive it from her friend. I'm not to suppose to know the info that she said to her friend but I refuse to be left sitting here like a chuck. I'm contemplating of just walking away but apparently there's "still hope". But what if there is? What if she says yes? I'm quite optimistic in nature but I can face the truth. What do I do?

>>17003543
Tested it out.

All this passion that you really like, test every single of them, passion is a result of action. Not the other way around. And maybe, you will find what you really passionate about.

>>17003535
I hate this ideology. People are just fucking rotten. People found out this and waaay much more about me and literally guilt-shamed me.

I have a noticeable lack of confidence. I'm a kissless virgin and I'm about to enter college.
Also, I have lost motivation for almost anything. I hate school, sports bore me, I barely can stand normalfags, I'm lazy for anything and I'm starting to become more and more narcissist.

>>17003926
>I'm about to enter college

Whatever you do, do not become apathetic. Take action, any action. Do shit that makes you be around people. Participate in things that interest you.

If you let those years slip you by like I did, you'll regret it. My whole life is behind schedule and fucked because of it.

Also, some normalfags are sometimes, indeed, mindless sheep who just want to "have fun". But they do have something right: they have fun. You should become the best of both worlds, get the normalfag's good traits and the shut in sperglord's good traits. Sometimes you just gotta get over yourself and have some fun. Seriously, you might regret it if you don't.

Anything else is probably reason to get some counselor help.

>>17004008
Thanks anon, I'll try to take your advice. Also, are you saying that I should see a professional?

>>17003559
If you are in such doubt, then maybe give into it and check it out.... But, then give lots of review.. If its too late to go back well do the opposite next time.

>Seeking advice
So, I got fired twice in a month's time.
I had a roommate. 30 years older then me. Gave me like $100 for rent. Not enough to cover shit... I cashed out my 401 retirement. I fled without telling him... He's mad at me... This isn't the first time I left state without telling anyone... Why do I flee without telling anyone? What can I do to prevent myself from being such a fuck up? I should pay him back right?

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>Seeking advice.
After weeks of self reflection...
I have this bad habit, yes I admit I can be a very shit person and have more then my fair share of flaws... I tend to blame others, but, on the inside I hate myself. I negative self talk most hours of my awake time. I try to better myself but, the negative self talk makes me not want to attempt anything. Not even petty distractions anymore. Self harmed a few days ago and tempted to do some more.
How can I begin to unfuck myself?

>>17003850
You've made your move. If she likes you, she'll come, otherwise let her go and move on to the next girl. Asking her out is all she could ever expect from you as a guy, and a straight answer is what you deserve. Not necessarily "yes", just a fucking answer. If she can't comply, fuck her.

>>17004580
Maybe by spending time with more people, by joining clubs, playing sports, doing smalltalk with strangers and store merchants.
Also, spend more time with family and friends. Show them that you care about then with little things, not necessarily with gifts.

>Seeking advice.

I notice I get burnt out a little too often and too fast.
How do I improve my staying power, Like job wise namely. I hate that about myself and its a major hinderance in my employed life.

>>17004512
If you see that those narcissist tendencies are getting in the way of a fulfilling life, don't even think twice. SPECIALLY if you don't have to pay for it. Seriously go for it.

>>17004629
Point taken.
It's kinda sad that I don't have the guts for talking to a friend or a family member, but I speak fluently about my deal with an anonymous stranger in the web.

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>>17004595
Thanks for the advice anon! Well appreciated! You da real mvp

>>17004652
I can't talk to most of my friends or my family about my shit either. Only one friend ears me out, and even though he's great support, he's more of a listener, not much of a helper.

During my final years at university I had regular counselor appointments. They helped a lot, although it ended far too soon.

>seeking advice

My boyfriend is depressed.I love him dearly but he's always apathetic. He does not like to do things or any social situation. He wants to have sex very often (like 2/3 times a day) and guilts me about not being responsive enough (he says i never initiate sex, which is probably true). We see each other on weekends and holidays only. He has little friends, that he doesn't see very much. He works a lot but has no hobbies. He's become very jealous and hacked my mail / social network accounts to check if i wasnt cheating. We share common life goals and we are great friends.
I have a lot of hobbies and I have learned to be a very cheery person, so im very active and he seems to feel left alone.
I dont know if i want to leave him, because he's a great man, very clever and funny. But i cant handle the depression. It's like i'm the only thing in his life. He has nothing else. He sometimes drinks and uses antidepressants.
I don"t feel like I need him (dont exactly miss him when we're apart)but he feels like he's nothing without me.
What can i do ?

Are most software jobs pretty soul sucking? I have to say I've only done one development job (out of college)and I'm worried if I find another development job it'll just be the same (stressful, tedious, shark colleagues)

>>17004676
Well, enough about me, I always feel like a dick when I'm the topic of discussion. How about you, anon?

How do I date a shy girl?

I'm 23, she's 19. I'm 6'2" and 190lbs and she's like 5' and 90lbs. We work together at a crummy retail job and I'm going to school. I found out she liked me from another coworker.

She is shy but has bursts of confidence with talking to me, usually after I've been talking her ear off and asking questions constantly for a while.

She's only dated one guy before, probably because she's so small and quiet. Plus she works at night and doesn't have a car.

I've never gone out with a shy girl before, normally girls talk my ear off and I just respond. I don't like telling stories about myself absolutely all the time but I kind of have to to get her to talk to me.

We've been out once and I took the pressure off her by making it a group thing and having a couple and another friend come.

Anyway, I just can't seem to read her. She just doesn't act like any girl I've seen before because she seems to have no dating experience. When I walked her to her door, when I expected the little chat and hug then she would go inside like any other time I've done that she opened the door, lunge hugged me and scurried inside.

I can't tell if she isn't that into me or is just really nervous around me.

Any advice on dating shy girls and do you think she's nervous or that I scared her off?

>>17003696

He is comitting crimes against you. There's a legal system for that in most countries.

>>17004901
Going through my first breakup right now, actually. Feels like shit. It feels like I have a weight on my chest. She's a fantastic woman and I've failed her. I failed to be a good boyfriend and failed to get our shit together, which resulted on a 2 year relationship without proper goals. Now the best thing to do is breakup with this amazing woman and it hurts A LOT.

/rant

>>17005025
Shit happens, bud. Don't be so hard on yourself. You've learned what you had to learn and the only thing that you can hope is that she is aware of that. Can't give much advice, tho, no g/bf now or ever.

>Seeking advice
I (24 year old male) was invited to a coworker's (probably around 38 years old) afternoon BBQ birthday at his place. What do I bring to the party? Do people even bring things to parties anymore? He likes doing drugs, getting drunk, and playing video games. He has all of the latest consoles, and he said that the party will have plenty of drugs and alcohol.

So what do I bring to the party?

>>17005375
Munchies?

>>17005375
Soda

>>17005375
the cops

I work in a high stress atmosphere and I gfrt criticized for consistency like I don repeat same shit it's new mistakes each time. How can I stop this annoying habit like to magically stop this fucking pet peeve of mine

>>17004827
Encourage him to seek professional help. Meds AND therapy. Talk to your/his GP about a referal to a psychiatrist specializing in adult psychiatry

>seeking advice
I'm a 19 year old student. I'm very antisocial, and I'm sure it's affected my family one way or another. Everyday I spend about 12 hours on the PC, 2 hours on meals, and the other 10 sleeping. I know it's unhealthy, but I'm so afraid to go out and talk. Every time I try to strike up a conversation, either I'll impulsively say something insensitive, or I'll find that I have nothing to talk about. What should I do?

OP here thanks for keeping the thread alive all night and while I was at Uni

>>17003532
One of the first things I'm keen on doing once I get my own place is having my own garden, seems like it would be really cool to tend something as it grows + natural food would taste good.

>>17003543
I always (and still do) think this whole 'find your passion' thing is just a big meme. For most people you get a degree in something that you are sort of interested in and think the job that comes out of the degree would be bearable. You then work the bearable job throughout the week to fund your life and I guess whatever you do in your spare time would be considered 'your passion.'

Whoever says 'only study what you're passionate about' is a bit thick in my opinion. Sure if you want to pursue it academically you'd want to be passionate in your field of study, but if you just want a job it's not really much of a priority. No one ever 100% LOVES their job, they just do something that they find bearable and funds the lifestyle they want to live.

>>17003559
If you really feel you made a huge mistake do everything you can to try fix it and make it right. If it's something that is fixable and it's a 'what's been done is done' sort of situation then you just have to get over it. Just try to accept the fact that it's impossible to change the past and the only thing you can do is focus on the future and try learn from your mistakes.

>>17003696
As someone has said what he is doing to your phone is quite illegal, you can probably take it to the police explain what he's done and he could be charged. Not to mention if you can prove it was him who leaked the photos and did whatever else he's done then he could be looking at some charges of defamation of character. You could also look at getting a restraining order if it gets that out of hand.

>>17003813
I have this exact same problem due to a few things I guess I just never took that 'leap' into the whole dating scene. It probably doesn't help that I've never had a good friend who's a girl that I hang out with or what not.

I think this is pretty normal though, to talk to someone in real life, to hang out with someone and have any meaningful relationship you sort of have to make yourself vulnerable. If you're being pretty open through text, etc, then when you meet in real life if you're just open and speak your mind then things should flow pretty naturally. If you're actually interested in the girl then you should have a general curiosity around her anyway; what are her likes, dislikes, where'd she grow up, where does she want to go, what does she want to do, what are her opinions on xyz, just remember to ask questions and talk about yourself (but not too much of either).

>>17003847
I really want to do some sort of student exchange, I might look into something like that. It could give me that little spark that gives me a bit more drive to study. I'm just not sure what my University offers, where I can go and how expensive it is - I'll look into it though.

I'm not really passionate about it but I don't really have any more interest in any of the other courses that are offered. I guess I might as well just put as much effort as I can be bothered into it and see what sort of marks I get - here's to hoping.

>>17004580
Not anything close to a qualified professional and I suggest you try see one at least once if you are self harming and constantly talking yourself down. But I think you just have to find something that makes you happy. Everyone can get to a certain degree of what you're experiencing especially when life just feels dull and you feel like there's nothing/no one to really live for. But it all really boils down to a mindset.

In saying that it's not easy mindset to escape, I don't think I'm achieving even 10% of the potentially better life I could be living. Just think of all the people's lives that you are a big, or even a small part of; even if they don't say it or don't even know it, you matter to them.

It's easy to be lonely, it's easy to talk yourself down, it's easy to not like yourself and all of that is infinitely easier when you have no one to talk about it. If you have some good friends try focus on improving your relationships with them, if you don't have many friends just try find at least one person who you can talk to - I'm sure someone will be interested in having a chat with you. Good luck friend, you'll always have a place here.

>>17004606
Nothing helps more then a set, good amount of sleep and a good diet, in my experience at least. Sometimes admitting that you have too much on your plate and cutting down helps. You should be getting out at least half of what you put in, and if you're not then you should focus on putting your efforts in other places in my opinion.

>>17004851
I'm currently studying CSci and would like to know as well. I hope working as a programmer isn't that bad. I feel it has a lot to do with the company that you're working for; try looking for a smaller startup or something of the sorts. Usually smaller companies care more about their employees and give you a bit more training, responsibility which would (hopefully) make working less stressful and a bit more joyful.

What's the big deal? Let people be personal.
If someone is struggling - they want to feel the advice it to THEM, they won't want to read someone else's advice.
Some time, it might just be about knowing that someone is listening

>>17004925
I don't really have much experience dating at all so take what I say with a grain of salt. But if I was in your situation I think my way of dealing with it would be to get only you and only her someone sort of secluded. Shy people have the tendency to close up when they're in groups of people. Even if the group is all people they're comfortable with and one person they don't know so well, just freaks them out.

However, I think you'll find if she does like you; that if you're alone with her, she's comfortable with you and confident that it's just you and her (no one else barging in), then she'll be the one talking your ear off. Try find something she likes doing and is comfortable with. Shy people don't really like being at work and talking to people (especially in retail) - too much shit going on to handle. If she really does like you than after a bit of what I've explained she should start to warm up to you.

>>17005025
If there's no chance of getting back together or it's too broken to be worth it then my advice is to try your best to move on. Try treat it as a practice run and try fix all the mistakes you made in the next time around.

>>17005375
Just bring something you'll like to drink (in case there's nothing you like there), maybe some snack food (also something you like incase there's not much there); get drunk, eat food, have a good time!

>>17006684
I'm honestly in the same position. Wouldn't say I'm on the computer that much these days but it's on average 6-8 hours and has definitely been 12 hours some times.

I love meeting new people and talking to people one on one is honestly one of my favourite things to do but it's just being in big groups and out in social situations sort of scares the shit out of me. I'll go out of friends every fortnight or so, drinks, clubs and what not but it doesn't do much when you have this 'aura' around you that says I'm love being alone.

I think because I'm so scared of letting people in I subconsciously do shit to sabotage meeting new people - only talking to people I know, not really making eye contact with other people, subconscious body language might be making it out like I'm being rude or don't want to talk, to be fair I'm just guessing I really don't know what causes it tbqh.

Like you my family is affected by it. None of them really say much because it's just been my personality and I'll go out every now and again so I'm not a complete basement dweller. But I've been called my fair share of anti-social, hermit, internet/computer addicted, sad and probably a few other things by my family - they don't notice it and usually say it sarcastically or jokingly but it kinda hurts. Especially when I kind of feel it's half their fault that I'm like this but that's a whole different story.

Moral of the story is I if you want to fix this it's simple, you go out more, talk to other people, form new relationships, etc, etc. But I have always sort of been alone and I guess have come to enjoy being alone some of the time, Don't get me wrong I'd love a girl friend, just someone who loved me and talked to me and was generally interested in me - but when I think about about how'd I'd have to open up for something like that and change my lonely lifestyle it scares the shit out of me and I crawl back to this lonely lifestyle.

OP here, answered everything I thought I could give some decent advice on in the above 5 posts.

If you want any more advice, want me to elaborate on something I've said, want to tell me I'm wrong or contest something I've said; then please go ahead and do so. In most cases pointing out where you think I'm wrong will give me more insight into my own problems or skewed views on things.

>Seeking advice
Hey all. Hopefully this thread is still up and running. I'm 22 I've got a little girl and her mom. I need a job I'm scraping by with what I've got. I don't mind working it's just the process of putting application after application, etc. It seems tedious. No job seems exciting that I need to go do it. Just that once I get a job I just do. I don't really have a drive to go out and do what needs to be done. Even though I know I should. Any tips?

>>17006957
fuck me..different 19yo to the guy you're responding to, but i feel the same way.

it's pretty sad for me bc i was part of the 'chad' group up until the august of last year. then ppl went out more w/o me bc i got tired of keeping my 'real' personality under wraps (e.g. pretty weeby and more internet-dependent than most of them).
eventually i said 'yeah maybe next time' to their pubcrawls or other outings. now i'm afriad to face them again, bc when they ask what i've been up to, all i can say is i've just been depressed and doing the same things as before (working, studying) but just with more time wasted on the internet talking about anime.

i guess the only way to break the cycle is to get out more.

>giving advice

If you´re trying to help someone, help yourself first. If you´re not strong and stable, if you let them drag you down because you don´t pay enough attention to yourself or you sacrifice yourself too much, then you won´t be able to help anymore, and you might even push them away when they see what they´re doing to you. And then everything gets worse, both for whoever you´re trying to help and for you.

Somebody told me this four years ago. I wish I had listened, but I didn´t.

>giving advice

If you want to get a girlfriend, step one is to stop looking for one. Seriously, girlfriends are overrated af, everyone who ever had one will tell you this. If you need sex, just use Tinder or pay a hooker to fuck you, it's basically the same thing.

The thing no one talks about is how different women are from men. We want different things from life and that will never change. That's why you a girlfriend will never bring you any happiness.

>>17007130
That was good advice until the very end.

The key is to find someone who is actually compatible with you instead of settling down for the first girl that is interested in you.

>>17007138
But you can never be compatible with a girl. We're just different animals. Girls are shitty in a way that a guy can never be and vice versa. A guy will be creepy af, beat you up or straight up sexually assault you. Guys are shitty on a physical level. Girls are shitty on a mental level. They will manipulate you, turn up your insecurities and hit you in the weak spots during arguments. Guys are dumb brutes who feel entitled to a lot of stuff, girls are whores who will dump you once you no longer serve serve purpose to them.

>>17006987
Just think about your kid and making her life as good as you can possibly make it. Try and be the Dad you wish you had when you were growing up, or if your Dad was great then try be him minus his flaws. You have a family dude, a wife and a kid, that's reason enough to work your ass off.

>>17007042
You shouldn't be ashamed of telling them what you were doing man. When you hand out with them next just say you've been pretty tired from focussing on work and study so you've just been spending all your free time relaxing. Or just say fuck it and say that you've literally been doing fuck all for awhile. Doesn't really matter what you tell them, if they're good friends they won't care anyway they'll just be stoked that you're out with them.

And yeah, the only way to break the cycle is to get out more. But when you have a personality, a life that is based around not going out that much. When that's all you've ever really done and have known how to do it makes it super hard to change - almost like it's set in stone.

>>17007116
>>17007130
I've been trying to live life for myself, that has really all I've been doing tbqh. The idea in my mind is that as I improve myself, get my own stable, independent life then a girl of some sort will just come 'naturally' (for a lack of a better word).

But when you're going through life solo there's always that thought in the back of your mind wishing that you has someone who loved you and generally wants to be with you.

Do you just have to suck up that thought and push through until you're happy and stable on your own?

>>17007148
>But when you're going through life solo there's always that thought in the back of your mind wishing that you has someone who loved you and generally wants to be with you.

Love is not a real thing. At least the "love" everyone is always talking about. Love is actually just a chemical reaction in your brain that is produced by a mechanism created during the process of evolution. That mechanism is supposed to give you more motivation to settle down with a woman and produce offspring. That's all love is. Everything else is just a lie.

Don't get a gf or a wife or whatever. That shit is pointless. What you need to do is to get laid regularly and all those "I need love" feelings will go away eventually.

>>17007152
What about when you want to settle down and have kids? Continue your genetics

>>17007181
What's the point tho? That need goes away when you cum regularly.

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Hey, posted this on /ck/ but that boards pretty slow so I figured I'd try here. I'm very broke and hungry, found an old cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese that had been sitting in a tissue wrap in a paper bag with the edge tucked in so the least possible air gets in. Can I eat my bagel and not get sick?

>>17007183
When it changes from a 'need' to a want. You want to take all the lessons you've learnt through life, teach them to your kid(s) to try make them a better version of you. Then once you die they (hopefully) make a better version of themselves which is just an even better version of you, etc, etc.

Also saying love is just a chemical reaction in your brain is like saying your memories are just certain patterns being traced along your neural pathways. Of course it's true but it doesn't make your memories feel any less real, doesn't make suddenly become obsolete. Sure, love is played up in media to create drama, passion, a story to be drawn to, just like when you recall a memory and think it happened much better/worse then it actually did. Just like how an writer has their own idea of love that they show in a film, you have your own version of your memories that you show to yourself.

The point I'm trying to get at is that it's love is just subjective. And you can't just break an emotion down to being a chemical reaction in your brain and therefore conclude that it's obsolete. When you're sad it's just a chemical reaction in your brain, but knowing that doesn't make you any less sad. Also 'love' (for most people) isn't just something that is linked purely to sex. It's a feeling of being appreciated by someone, someone is actually interested in your opinion on things, someone actually makes you happy to exist - feelings which are not exclusive to just having sex.

>Seeking advice
I'm a 19 (turning 20) year old male college student. I'm the only virgin in my circle of friends. I've had relationships before, not sexual though.

It's been a year since my last relationship and I'm looking to start a new one. Problem is, no one really goes for a guy who's somewhat of an asshole (let's not kid ourselves) and is sort of quiet (women in my area prefer more outgoing men).

I'm not asking much from life, just someone who's as genuinely happy to see me as I see her. It's honestly soul crushing to see my friends easily get into relationships while I'm struggling to get a woman to even look and get interested in me, I'm getting more desperate by using Tinder and already I'm considering lowering my standards.

I dunno. Advice is appreciated, but the venting is nice.

>>17007215
It's all bullshit tho, love is fake af. If you "want" love or to have kids, you're dumb af.

>>17007223
It's not though. You can't just say love, or any emotion for that matter, is "fake as fuck" purely because it's a chemical reaction in your brain?

>>17007219
I'm in a pretty similar situation just I haven't really had any meaningful relationship before.

The advice I can give to you is advice that's been given to me before. Virginity isn't really that big of a deal. It's cracked up to be a waaaaay bigger deal than it actually is.

As for being somewhat of an asshole, quiet and trying to find a girl, I've wondered the same thing for years. All girls that you see out, are for the most part outgoing, especially so if your friends are outgoing too. So it would seem logical to find someone quieter and more suited for you, you'd have to search the places where quieter girls hang out. But finding that place seems to be the million dollar question.

Going out it seems that everyone else has a different social dynamic to what we have going on. But surely there's at least a few girls who are in similar situations - but where?

>>17007238
>Virginity isn't really that big of a deal.
Oh yeah, I've learned that weeks ago. For now I'm just looking for someone to, y'know. Love.

>But surely there's at least a few girls who are in similar situations - but where?
Not here, I'm afraid. Everyone's loud and proud and while grating at times, it sure doesn't make a boring environment.

I've been planning to move out when I graduate for a breath of fresh air but it seems it'll be years until I can afford a one way plane ticket.

Thanks for the advice. It's appreciated.

>>17007238
>It's not though. You can't just say love, or any emotion for that matter, is "fake as fuck" purely because it's a chemical reaction in your brain?

Of course I can. I just did. Love is not a real thing. Stop chasing it. It won't make you happy.

>>17007247
Same thing here, as soon as I can get a job lined up overseas somewhere nice I'll be there in a heart beat. Everyone always says that when you move everything will be pretty much the same, it's yourself that you have to change. But I think they both go hand in hand to be honest. A new environment, new people, new places sort of forces you to meet new people, take up new hobbies, enjoy the new environment. Plus, you could even move to a culture which is a bit more introverted as a whole which means a lot of the people you come across will make for a much better match.

Just out of curiosity, what country are you in at the moment then?

>>17007265
I'm from the Philippines, aka Fuck You For Being Quiet Land.

Thinking of moving either to San Diego, California, Boone, North Carolina, or Bournemouth, England (I know people in both areas so the transition period won't be as rough). Thinking of England, but San Diego isn't as bad.

I won't miss much here. I've got little ties here and I'll probably only go back for the funerals and weddings.

I AM gonna miss the rice though; I hear it's tough to come by in the West.

>>17007261
>Love is not a real thing. Stop chasing it. It won't make you happy.
Yet in your first posts you go on about how you should, help yourself, pay attention to yourself, sacrifice things for yourself to make you happy.

In other words you're telling people to love themselves.


There's no reason you can't focus on improving yourself while searching for 'love' at the same time. And by searching for love I don't mean how it is in the movies, I just mean searching for someone, who together you are mutually interested in one another and appreciate each others company. No one is saying you have to buy her flowers, go on fancy dates, do this, that and all the rest of it - just someone who you wouldn't mind experiencing a bit of what life has to offer with.

If I had to guess I'd say you have a bit of a skewed, cynical perception of all women being the fucking antichrist. Or men and women are so different that they could never coexist. Completely forgetting the fact that opposites attract. Women and men both have traits which make it harder to be together, yet they also have traits which improve upon one anothers life. Men can do things which improve womens life just like women can do things which improve mens life.

Sure, you can go through life being your bitter, lonely self and justifying it as being great in your eyes because of all the bad things that women bring to the table. But I think you're forgetting that a good women could improve your life in more than just a sexual way.

>>17007285
>Yet in your first posts you go on about how you should, help yourself, pay attention to yourself, sacrifice things for yourself to make you happy.
Where do I say that? I think you're confusing me with some other anon.
>Completely forgetting the fact that opposites attract
That is bullshit. If your gf is really the opposite of you, you will want to kill her after a day of hanging out together.

>>17007282
I'm from Australia.

It's not like here people are like 'fuck you for being quiet' but if you're quiet it just seems you go completely unnoticed. The whole culture seems to be revolving around extroverts and no culture has even started to nurture the introverts so we kind of just get shunned into our own lonely place.

Maybe it's because I'm from West Australia (a lot more isolated from the rest), or maybe it's just because I haven't experienced as much of life as I should have. But I feel a move to somewhere Scandinavian, like Norway or Sweden, could be quite nice.

>>17007294
Europe sounds like a nice place to emigrate to, actually. Especially if Trump wins, then it becomes the only continent worth emigrating.

And yeah, here you're kind of screwed if you're not making jokes and laughing loudly. Besides, the 'monthsary' culture here is fucking atrocious.

I dunno, I know my ideals are vastly different from the local culture but whatever. I'm moving out and nothing's gonna stop me.

Except for funds, because tickets are expensive.

>>17007292
Probably not the complete polar opposites on everything, then of course you'd clash on everything. What I mean by this is your bad traits correspond to her good traits, and vice versa.

If your girlfriend is nothing but a burden to you and is bringing nothing of a benefit to your life, then you have a bad girlfriend.

>>17007307
>girlfriend is nothing but a burden to you and is bringing nothing of a benefit to your life

I agree with that statement.

>>17007306
Yeah, Europe has always been the goal for me. It's just made up of a buuuncchh of different countries which (for the most part) all have their own individual cultures, perfect for travelling.

I have to say that for someone from the Philippines you have pretty much perfect English.

Also, you seem determined to move out and improve your life. That alone will get you there eventually!

>>17007313
What did a girl do to you that was so bad that it destroyed your perception of women?

Either you have a tendency to go for bad women or mummy beat you?

>>17007316
>pretty much perfect English.
When you grow up watching nothing but Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, and National Geographic and were gifted a number of old encyclopedias at age 8, you get to learn quite easily.

And I'm pretty much determined. Either I move out or die trying. That's the goal. I don't care if I have to be a cashier or something overseas. If I start again from the bottom, then I work my way up.

>>17007219
I am in a somewhat same situation as you bro.
I am an 18 year old virgin and going to enter college in a few months. I don't like hook-up culture and would like to find a girl that would love me back.
I've never had a girlfriend before because I was a nerd.

I get very sad and depressed thinking about this. And finding a compatible girl will be getting harder as time passes by. Just wanted to ask you how are you coping with the situation?

>>17007319
Why are you implying I'm sexist? I think both sexes are equally horrible but just in different ways. Therefore "true" love is impossible and it's not worth your time.

>>17007327
I really want to learn Swedish but never speaking anything besides English and having to remember a whole new set of vowels, sounds for letters, special sounds of letter combinations, not to mention a new word for everything - makes it pretty fucking hard. Never have more respect for people who learnt a language well, all on their own.

And that mind set is what will get you places. The majority of Western people (especially young people) expect everything to just be done or come easily to them. I can't say I haven't fallen victim to that mindset every now and again but I try as hard as I can to have the mindset it seems you've got right now. Sometimes the weight of everything can just become a bit too much and make your goals you've set seem impossible.

>Seeking URGENT advice

>gf on pill for 3 months
>have sex (first time) with condom
>felt like i came but kept going
>pullout
>condom intact except theres cum all up and down it
>only go soft after im out with condom still firmly on
>see greyish liquid in her vag

Was that my cum?? What are the chances she.could get pregnant?

>>17007294
Thinking of coming to Melbourne for college (UoM). How's the place?

I'm this guy >>17007345

>>17007345
Literally in the exact same situation, pretty much word for word man. I just find solace in the fact that once I finish my degree, I can move out start my own life, start living for myself. I feel like once I can get this going a girlfriend will come soon after, because the only person I'll have to blame is myself.

>>17007352
Wow you are quite intelligent for an Australian... or are the /pol/ Aussies just retarded?

General question: why is it more acceptable to be violent or perverted over depressed?

This is something that bothers me severely, as my family tends to have depression in the blood line or something. The only thing is that it's probably my only fault, compared to the other two mentioned.

Don't know if anyone else has it like this, but male peers tend to treat "darkness" as the ultimate taboo, even when they can be women beaters or pedophiles. And they'll agree with eachother, too. The violent and the vile act like they're better then the depressed because we're.. What? NOT going out to specifically harm people?

What's the fucking logic behind this? Is there any? Am I being trolled by life again?

>>17007357
I'm from Perth and I've never been to Melbourne so I can't give you any first hand advice. Also I live like 100km from the city so I don't really know what it's like to be a true city slicker.

But it's pretty much a consensus that Melbourne is the best city in Australia. So you've definitely made the right choice. What country are you coming from exactly, might be able to give you a bit more relevant advice?

I'm this guy >>17007352

>>17007345
Gaming, mostly, as well as collegework. Also watch some Kamen Rider and Super Sentai, also capeshit like Supergirl and The Flash. The occasional beer and fap session also helps. Mostly I just try to chill but there are days, y'know?

>>17007352
Better Swedish than Finnish to be honest. Friend of mine's Finnish and she says it's harder than Japanese.

And there are days. Days where you want to shrug off the weight. So what I do is I shrug it off, just like that. When I've gotten my rest, I carry it again. Sometimes I let others carry some of the weight, but I understand that some burdens are best carried alone.

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>>17007355
Why the hell would you wear a condom when she is on the pill?
I do not know anyone who would be doing that.
I came in my gfs pussy 200times+ and she never got preggo.
What the hell man, the purpose of the pill is that you dont have to use a condom.

>>17007376
Cant risk pregnancy anon, hence the freakout.

>>17007364
Probably not to be completely honest. It's just that all Australians across /pol/ and /int/ have a meme reputation to uphold of being notoriously good shitposters.

So instead of making any decent discussion they just shitpost in an effort to uphold the meme.

Not to mention it's not that often where you have an intelligent discussion of any sort on 4chan anyway, regardless of where you're from (':

>>17007365
No it's not acceptable to be violent in my society.

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>>17007379
What the fucking fuck man. That is osme serious bullshit. I have a group of like 10 friends, whose gfs are all on the pill for many years and no girl got pregnant.
The pill is even safer than a condom.
This is some real bullshit. If she takes the pill as she is supposed to, she wont get pregnant ffs.

>>17007374
I was going to try learn Norwegian but Swedish seems like it would get more use, plus if you can speak Swedish well apparently you can understand Norwegian written and spoken quite well anyway. I've heard exactly the same about Finish and Danish being fucked languages to learn, it's ALL about pronunciation of words, letters, vowels. A slight change in tone, pitch, length, etc can fuck up everything you're trying to get across (from what I've heard at least).

And yeah, I get that. That's pretty much what I've been doing with University. I put as much effort as I can in to begin with, when the weight starts to become too heavy I take a step back, try to remind myself that it's just school, just some marks, some tests and some assignments. Tends to help me out a lot as I'd take a 55% - 65% mark without any stress over a 70%+ mark with a bunch of stress, any day.

>>17007398
Honestly I just don't want to fuck up so badly. One can rise from mediocrity easily, not so much from absolute ruin.

High hopes, anon. And as the Japanese say, kanpai.

>>17007389
So combined you think we're safe? Even if that was cum on the inside?

>>17007406
Are you really that much misinformed?
If she is on the pill, and she takes it like she is supposed to, you can ditch that fking demon rubber.
I have never heard of anyone who would get pregrant when on the pill.

>>17007386
I said more, not entirely. As in "treatable", like an illness.

>>17007404
Just try to make sure you're at least putting in the equivalent of a 50% in effort and then anything more you put in will just improve whatever you're doing. Just try to 'pass' at whatever you're doing and you should be fine.

Hopefully by the end of the year I should at least be conversational in Swedish and one year through my degree. As you said, high hopes, kanpai.

>>17007415
Violent people usually get put in prison where as depressed people get to walk around freely at their own will - might not be too great for them but beats being in a cell.

>>17007414
Thanks for telling it to me blunt anon, honestly just so fucking freaked out now holyshit.

>seeking advice

Recently enough I asked a girl out and I had been talking to her quite some time. She said she wanted to think about and found out later from another friend it was a no. Grand job. Don't really care. Next thing my friend and I were talking. I metioned that il wait for an official answer and if not il just fuck off. He said you did that with femanon and she was pissed off.I had asked his gf atm out way before they went out. I had been talking to her for quite some time. I asked her to a ball and she said yes. The ball got cancelled. This is where things get sausy. I got Intel that she was happy the ball was cancelled as she didn't want to go with me in the first place. I only got this info recently but il continue. I then asked her out and she said no which is fine. I moved on and just sorta stopped talking to her completely. She then got pissed off apearantly with me for not talking to her over messenger and giving her attention. I always started the conversation she never did. Then she went out with my friend. I couldn't give a shit desu.

She got so pissy that she thinks I'm an asshole "for not talking to her" To be perfectly honest I'm not going to be some bitches chuck so she can just talk to while she gets rammed up the ass by my friends dick. Why should I even bother wasting time with someone who doesn't like me and never did in the first place? I just move on quick. I don't really dwell on things. I have better things to be doing. I hate wasting time on useless shit.Am I being an asshole or unreasonable?
>mfw

What exactly do guys with education in electrical engineering in US/Euro/Australia? I have similar education, but in Russia. My knowledge based on electric motors, electronics and motor controller and I am absolute noob in programming. This summer I will apparently have an unpayable internship in Siemens, but I'm sure they will reject me after that. What I need to learn to become skilled engineer and compete with others.
Sorry for mistakes.

>Giving Advice as a 30yo anon

Take care of your teeth. I literally cannot stress this enough. Learn proper hygiene. A 5 min shower where you put a few squirts of Old Spice body wash on yourself is not hygiene.

(Requesting advice)
What do you guys do with those images that appear each time you blink?

I blink and i see random people and events
And if i keep them closed for a longer period a scene starts playing
I wanted to know what you guys know of this or have this and what it means
>ill awnser any questions

How do I gain more courage and begin to truly love myself?

I can't understand these things and their importance either.

I mean I could fight a wolf and it wouldn't scare me, but talking to a girl sitting next to you? Impossible.

>Seeking Advice

So when I was younger, I was extremely extroverted and fun and had tons of friends. However once high school rolled around I switched schools and then got severely depressed and basically spent two years by myself. I've been getting better though the past few months, managing to get into college away from here, but I'm still painfully shy now with tons of social anxiety and I hate it so much. How do I get back to being extroverted and not second guessing everything I say?

>>17007817
You are just asking basic bitches out and you have bad friends. Are you a frat boy or something?

>>17009559
I'm young and I'm an introvert.
Is that a problem?

>>17007817
If you haven't given her an explanation as to why you're ignoring her, you're being a bit of an asshole, but considering what she did if you have the right to be kind of an asshole about it. I wouldn't sweat it but if you're that concerned just flat out tell her that you liked her but she clearly didn't like you back and you don't want to be strung along.
If she gets pissed like many women do and cries "i just wanna be friends" just tell her that youd rather not bc of your ~feelings~. That way if friends get involved she ends up looking like a bitch if she complains about you.

>>17009511
The talking to the girl thing?
The best way to get over is to just do it
Just think like what can go wrong speaking to this person, if you dont dare you can try to practice and stream/omegle and meet people like that to get over your fear

>>17009567
No there is nothing wrong with that, it's just I'm an extrovert at heart, but my social anxiety kills me now. I second guess everything I say and end up just not talking most the time even though I want to.

>seeking advice
how do i become more memorable? like for example, if i want to go out with friends, I'm always the one who has to suggest it. when they go out, i am the last person to cross their minds. i feel like I'm just there in the background; people acknowledge my existence but that's about it.

>>17009591
> I second guess everything I say
That's a good thing to do man, will help you in a job and committed relationships.

Hey I am seekimg for help how do inet guys to stop like constantly wanting a relationship with me when clearly I stated I want to enjoy being friends and especially being independent on my own. Like I can't stress how guys keep going at it that I need to be in a relationship to move one and basically how do I get guys to stop self advertising all I want is friends and I have fitness that are girls but again how do I get guys to stop being so very "I like you I'll treat you better" and I only said once one I was sbroke up didn't go into it. I'm so sick of it.
>op help me

>>17009807
Not all guys are like that. You are being friends with wrong guys.

>>17008181
Most EEs in the US are electronic engineers. You might want to learn
Power electronics
Digital design
Microcontrollers

>>17009828
I see redirect me to guys who are not like this. Like give me ideas of what a red flag guy is. And what a green flag good guy is please. And what's a good way to kindly say fuck off you faggot to a red flag type of guy

i'm not sure anything can be done about this except revisiting the conversation, but maybe someone here has had a similar experience and can send me in a more pointed direction.

my boyfriend and i have been together since december. we're very close, have wonderful times together, etc. but the sex is like... awkward. i think/know that even though he's 24 (i'm 19) i've had more sexual experience than he has. we have talked a little bit about sex. i'm super attracted to him and would suck his dick like a fucking popsicle, but he told me he isn't into giving oral sex because the one time he did it, he had a really bad experience. her vagina literally smelled like shit. my vagina does not smell anything like shit, and i really fucking want to get my pussy eaten, i really fucking want to get fucked from behind, etc. but....... he just doesn't seem to want to do these things. he also told me he's only had sex in two positions (missionary, cowgirl)
i want to open this man's sex life, but i don't want to make him uncomfortable
also i never have orgasms
what do i do

>Seeking advice

Just read this >>17009841

Im cool af, and good at almost everything (for real, no arrogance, just facts)
I am the most intelligent guy I know, also good at sports, funny, nice to people, always a helping hand, good body, friend of everyone, always the leader anywhere I go...
The thing is that I can't get a girl, is weird, like dating is something that have never been a part of me. I even got used to see how my friends were surrounded by pretendient (both my female friends and the males) and do their things in brilliant ways. I don't fear, is not like if I were a pussy, I'm really confident in my self, not arrogant though.
Ultimately, this never-dating thing has become some sort of obsession to me. Don't even know what kind of advive I'm asking for, maybe just opinions. Anyway, could somebody help me?

>>17009882
If you're as marvellous as you say you are, you really shouldn't be having this problem. Maybe you need to reevaluate yourself and find out if there's any flaws you have that might be impeding you in your would-be romantic life.
Also, what do you mean by "can't get a girl"? Elaborate on this a bit more please.

>>17009834
The guys that you described in your last post seems like they just wanna use you and move on to another. Don't be with these type of guys. Find someone who respects your opinions.

Also, do you flirt with them or give them any signs? Maybe you subconsciously give them signs that you want to hook up?

>>17009897
I'm eager to be friends so I can see how that translate to "relationship" maybe I should act more subtle about things I can see maybe how that seems flirty but I try to keep what I say as honest and straightforward like try to find interstntonhave a good friendship and stuff and try not to persist in any relationship subjectsncause that's how much of a friend I want

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>seeking advice

i've been feeling so low and inadequate for the past six months. I have almost no energy to try anything new and i have no hobbies right now, nor do i have the energy or confidence to try any new ones out. my social life is also non-existant and i feel anxious about that because i know im decent when it comes to interacting with people and i feel im in my element when im with lots of people who are close to me. but since im in university it's hard for me to talk to strangers there and i can't navigate my way through the social climate because everybody seems to have friends of their own. i might as well also forget about romance too, like any good looking person i see i get so nervous and end up not talking to them. i just get so anxious with everything these days and i feel like it's eating me alive, especially when it comes to having no social and sex life. my insecurities get the best of me when i also try to work towards my degree, and i just feel so empty when i have nothing going for me. i feel like everybody has something going for them but im just here wasting away. how do i stop being anxious about everything, stop second guessing myself and build my life how i want it to be?

>>17009913
Just say "no" to the guy asking you for relationship ONCE. If he does it again, break ties with him.

>>17009935
Ok thn op your are the wise one and do I shall do

>>17007130
When is this hooker meme going to stop?!

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>Seeking advice

I have a girlfriend which I love, our relationship is going great, as perfect as it can be.

But recently, on my spare time, I've been hanging out with this girl from another country - I'll refer to her as Girl A. At first we just were just talking a bit, then playing games together for huge stretches of time, then our conversations started to become intimate, and sooner or later as you can imagine, we've started some light flirting with one another, I've started to mention my girlfriend less and less to her, calling her pet names like "cutie" and so on.

I think of her a lot. Recently, Girl A spent the night hanging out for almost a couple hours with some other guy, and even though we had spent time on skype the whole week hanging out for hours a day, talking to each other about our days in the regular affectionate tone, I couldn't help but feel betrayed and hurt, although I am very aware I'm still happy with my girlfriend and would never want to cheat on her with another woman.

What the fuck do I do? I wish I could just forget Girl A since she deserves to have a partner of her own and be happy, but at the same time I feel like I want to keep her in this convenient state where she's not my girlfriend, but just this single girl I get to keep for myself in this "colorful friendship" kind of deal, while still putting my real girlfriend in the priority - and I know that's horrible of me. But at the same time my heart just goes wild with anxiety whenever I see Girl A with somebody else.

Thanks for reading this drivel.

>>17003389
I had the same issue in university (USA). I completely gave up on classes for two years (just failed everything).

You can be employed without a degree. You will not drop dead if you drop out. But it is much easier to be hired with a degree. Three years isn't a lot of time, and it probably isn't a lot of money. At least at my university, the environment is conducive to doing a lot that has nothing to do with school. This means trying new things, exploring new ideas, really living.

Your goal is fine - even admirable. But I think you will get bored very quickly. I worked both part time and full time jobs during school and hated both eventually.

I want to learn piano but fuck i dont know where to begin training my hands, i understand notes and shit , but i need a consistent routine of practice. Any advice?

I made a thread here: >>17010047, but figured posting in a more active thread would offer more advice for my situation.

>>17010221
http://www.pianonanny.com/

I'm not sure how good you are with music but this should get you started.

OP here again, will give some more advice for some more posts. Thanks for keeping the thread alive again boys

>>17008181
The University that I'm at (in Australia) has a quite an intense Engineering course, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, along with 300 hours work placement in your final year. I don't know much about what they learn in EE, pretty intense Math, obviously have to know the electronic part of physics pretty well, general engineering things like design, reports, civil sort of stuff. That's just my best guess try looking on a couple of the University's websites, usually they have a unit outline under each of the courses they offer with more specific information.

>>17008376
Definitely a good tip, women can tell when you're at least trying to put a bit of effort into your personal hygiene.

I used to never floss my teeth and decided to just make it a habit, also got an electric toothbrush which helps to get a better clean and not destroy your gums in the process. Flossing makes such a big difference in your oral hygiene, staying away from tons of sugary drinks/food and regular check ups to the dentist help a lot as well.

>>17009511
I think a lot of the being scared to talk to girls things just comes from a huge social stigma. You've probably watched a lot of porn, seen women objectified in media, etc, etc. Not trying to go all feminist but it definitely skews your perception of just normal, day to day females; especially if you're not talking to any women irl and only really seeing them through a screen. My best advice would be to try to strip away any sort of sexual thoughts as best as you can and try focus on being generally interested in what a girl has to say. This and just practice, the more you talk to women the better you'll become at it.

About loving yourself you just have to sort of accept that you are who you are and that there's some things you won't really be able to change about yourself, and nor should you. Not everyone is as perfect as what they show on the outside, and barely anyone is as perfect as people are displayed in movies and TV.

Seeking advice:
Going through my first bad breakup, first real gf of 3 years, love of my life, yada yada BLAH blah, everyone tells me there's always plenty of fish in the sea, or to go bang Sloots to take her off my mind. So I've been trying. I actually look and feel the best I ever have, in great shape, dressing the best I ever have, and am the best at grooming myself I've ever been, and get nice haircuts pretty often, notice girls check me out or are overly friendly somewhat often. I'm failing in epic proportions.
>ask girl a work out
>rejected
>make tinder and OKC
>lots of matches w cute girls throughout 2 weeks, fucking none of them respond to the first message even except 2
>two agree to meet me, one is a disgustingly easy slut that I don't even want to meet up w because it's been so easy, don't want aids, and she's not that great looking
>the other is a cutie who I went on a date with and we surprisingly have a ton in common and get along well
>cutie starts ignoring me after showing the slightest bit of interest (when we matched on fucking tinder)
I legitimately don't think ill ever find someone as good as good my ex. I think I'm fucking doomed. So on top of the depression I already had from this, I really want to kill myself for being unable to meet women, and just knowing I'll never do as good again. Idk even what kind of advice im looking for, I guess something relevant like how to fucking get women, but let's be honest I've read it all. I guess I'm just here to vent before I off myself within the next week. I keep joking about it to all my friends but they don't really know how serious it is. All I think about is killing myself just about all day every day when I'm not high.

>>17009559
I think becoming more introverted is part of growing up to be honest. Sure, people can stay extroverted as they grow up, it happens all the time. But in general as you grow up you realise that putting everything you think and feel out into the world or the people around you sometimes isn't the best of options, and that there's some things you just keep to yourself. If you really desperately want to become more extroverted and beat your social anxiety then just start hanging out with more people and forcing yourself to talk/meet new people. It's not easy, but it's one of the best and most simple solutions. Going and talking to a therapist could help a little as well, just having someone to vent to and give you some professional feedback can help a ton - never done it myself but I'm sure it would go a long way to helping.

>>17009592
Sort of am/have been in that same situation. I think you just need to find something that gives you a bit of a deeper dimension than simply just existing in the background. As soon as you have something you are sort of passionate about then you gain something that you can talk about and some people will find interesting. Asking people questions also helps, if you're not showing interest in others while you're hanging out with them, then they won't be too inclined to show interest in you. However, if you're doing most of that and things still are for the most part the same then you might just have a bad group of friends to be honest.

>>17009807
My advice for this is to just be as clear and concise as possible when starting these relationships. As soon as you notice it getting sexual or 'lov-ey' then immediately be honest and tell him what you want. Say that you enjoy being alone and aren't looking for a relationship FROM THE VERY BEGINNING. Then if he is still continuing to pester you to 'move to the next stage' and be 'more than friends' then you need to reiterate what you said from the start, or stop being friends.

>>17010462
What you are suffering through is not a rational, logical problem. To put it bluntly, it's an evolutionary reflex of losing a partner perceived as suitable. It hurts almost as bad as losing a family member and it is not something you can expect to reason with.

I'm gonna be straight with you: this pain is going to continue for a while. How long I do not know, but I can guarantee you are better off making friends out of this feeling of despair instead of trying to fight it.

There is, however, another thing I can guarantee you. The emotional reflexes that come from a heartbreak are wired NOT to last forever, and eventually, gradually stop. Your job now is to hold the frontlines of your mind steady until your body decides to relax. Like I mentioned before, it's going to suck shit.

Maybe you are right, and you won't find a girl like your ex in your life, ever again. But people are a box of chocolates, and sometimes they might surprise you beyond your arrogant belief that you know everything that's out there. I'm certain your belief is being fueled by the stress your body is going through, stopping you from REALLY looking for other women.

Take it easy, Anon. What you are going through is a huge deal, far too big to be trampled over with alcohol or casual sex. Give yourself the time to let your mind mend itself - afterwards, you will be truly within the state of mind to figure out your next move.

Good luck.

>>17009876
Okay, the best thing you can do in this situation is be honest and communicate. Chances are he doesn't even realise that you're having a shit time and that he's not doing to well in the sack. You need to have a proper discussion about what you want from sex. Chances are that if you have a good discussion about what you and him both want/don't want, then you can come to a good middle ground that satisfies you both.

In the end if he's not up for changing even a little to help satisfy you then you might have to consider finding someone else if you want to be a bit more sexually satisfied. I think most guys (I know I would) would be completely down to try more positions, bit of kinky shit every now and again and at least repay the favour for oral sex - it's just polite, common curtesy.

>>17009879
I know everyone says "follow your dreams," or "do what you enjoy/love doing" and you definitely should be doing both of those, but it doesn't have to be your career to begin with. Find something you're SORT OF interested in and that the job that comes out of it would be decent, bearable for you. Work is work and will (for most people), especially to begin with, be quite shit and boring.

Work the job that's decent and bearable to make enough money to get by and start perusing what 'you truly love' as a hobby on the side. If you're hobby isn't for you I think you'll naturally drop it and try something new. However, if it turns out your hobby is for you I think you'll pretty quickly figure out how to make a living for it, or at least use it to improve your life in one way or another.

As you said these 'passions' are quite hit or miss which is why it's essential to not invest ALL of your time and effort into it in the very beginning unless you're 100% confident that you can survive off of it and be happy. Goodluck.

>>17009977
>implying women can offer you anything more than sex
>implying love is real

when is that meme going to stop?

>Seeking Advice
This has probably been posted already so my bad if I didn't see it. But my girlfriend of three months has been feeling very depressed and has been talking about suicide. I try my best to comfort her, but she doesn't seem to really care to much. She's had trouble with this in the past and had to go to a youth mental hospital kinda thing (which makes her skeptical of medicine and medical stuff in general). She doesn't want to see her therapist cause she'll say the same thing that she's told her before and she doesn't want to take medication for it cause she feels that it's not what "she wants to really feel". I'm just really worried about her.

>>17004580
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy might help.

There is a good book called Feeling Good by David Burns.
It has some mental stuff you could do, a bit of homework that helps with stopping negative thinking.

>>17009882
I think with the confidence you're saying you possess you might be pushing people away without actually realising it. Girls especially need someone who can be empathetic, put their own feelings aside for a little bit and focus your efforts on them for awhile. Some people need a lot of this, some people only need a little, but every single person needs at least some version of this every now and again.

To have the relationship (I think) you're looking for you truly need to put someone else's well being (even only for a little bit) above your own. Be you're super confident self to when you're first meeting girls, most of them dig that. But then (I know it sounds gay) but you have to at least learn to be a bit more sensitive and put someone before you. Hope this helps.

>>17009926
This is something everyone struggles with, I'm even struggling with it right now and have been for awhile. I think the best thing you can do is just try to be proud in who you are. You need to realise that not everyone can be the huge, social butterfly who has tons of friends, gets tons of girls, has tons of sex and is loving life. I'm not saying you should be proud of being lonely, or proud of the fact that you're feeling inadequate, not at all. But regarding the socialising it's something that you become good at with practice, and no one is ever perfect at it. Half the time the awkwardness, the anxiety, the fear you are feeling is being felt, at least to some degree, by the person/people you are talking to.

If things get tough, and you're feeling completely empty and like you have no one to talk to you should definitely at least try having an open, honest discussion about it with someone (even if it is a therapist).

In summary, always try to strive to be a bit better in the things you do/the person you are. And don't be afraid to admit that you're just not cut out to be the most social person in the world. There's no shame in being introverted.

>>17010517
Our brains are simply put, machines. Sometimes these machines come out broken, and are basically incapable of feeling happy - It's a harsh reality but that's just how the way it works. Your girlfriend needs to understand that she might belong into this group. She also needs to understand that there is no shame in that fact - as nobody is perfect - and we all need help from someplace or another to get ourselves back in order.

Personally, I recommend that you convince her to at least seek a psychiatrist for medical counseling. Tell her it's not a final decision of putting her on meds or anything of the sort, just a matter of getting a professional opinion.

If I may ask, how old are the two of you?

>>17010535
Thanks! I'll see about talking to her about it.
I'm 20 and she's 19

>>17010539
I see. Don't forget to be kind to your girlfriend and make as few judgments as possible: you both are at a very critical age and as I'm sure you can tell yourself, there's a lot of shit raining down on your head at this point. Make sure she can find respite in your support and I'm sure the two of you will get through this in one piece. Good luck.

>>17010543
Will do! Thanks for the help!

>>17010006
This certainly is a tough one anon. I think it's normal to be in a relationship and flirt every now and again. It's just a way of reiterating to yourself that independently 'you've still got it.' If you are still treating your gf with more love and passion then you are Girl A, then I think you have nothing to worry about. I think you just have to sort of get through your mind that because you're nice to a girl, and she's nice back to you (even if you are flirting), if you don't make a move (obviously can't because you have a gf) then she's going to move on pretty quick.

Often it's hard to judge feeling through little internet/skype flings/relationships. She might know that it won't go anywhere so she just wants to 'practice' per-say; give and feel the love that she is craving. You might on the other hand have a different, more serious outlook on things and sort of want things to go somewhere, or wish they would.

Ultimately, if you enjoy being with your gf don't fuck things up. If you want to get over Girl A, stop talking to her all cute and flirty, treat her more like a friend. Invest all the flirty stuff (you'd usually be doing with Girl A) into your gf and you should be fine.

Also, try to think about how truly happy you are with your gf. Being flirty with another girl might be your normal male mind kicking in, but it could be a sign that you're not as happy as you wish you were in your current relationship.

>>17010517
You've already been given some great advice already but I'd just like to add a little to it.

You should definitely try and convince her to get some professional help and try to help her sort her life out. But at the end of the day you can bring a horse to water but you can't make it drink. If you've done all you possibly can and she just isn't going anywhere then you probably should talk to her family seriously about pitching in and helping - you don't want her problems eating away at you.

If you stick through with her for ages and ages AND AGES, yet she doesn't get any better, you might start to actually resent her for the opportunities you feel she sort of 'stole from you' by always having to put her first. If you're honest with her, and things do end up out of your hands and you move on; she could always get better on her own and you can come back to her.

Not trying to be the bad guy or the pessimist, just making sure you don't ruin your own life trying to fix another.

OP here, gave a bunch more advice on some new posts. As always feel free to ask follow up questions, argue with my advice or tell me I'm wrong - it'll probably end up helping us both out.

Keep your heads up and keep asking for help if you feel you need it, will be back later to give my advice on any more posts <3

>>17010532
>David Burns

I really liked him in talking heads, but I will always remember him for like humans do, from windows XP free music.

>Seeking advice

I want to go travel on my own since my South East Asia travel plans are not going anymore (broke up with girlfriend). I am a bit frightened to go on my own again (last year i travelled on my own as well, but then had gf, studied in Singapore etc).

I cant make a choice of where to go but its clear I dont want to go to Asia again. Also, how do i get that level of self confidence back?

>>17010606
After a breakup especially self confidence is a tough thing to try build back up. There's no perfect method for a solution because everyone gets damaged in different ways thus requires different ways to repair themselves. My best advice would be to try focus on the whole experience as being a learning curve. Continue doing the things you did well, try and improve in the areas you think you didn't do so well in - and don't take the things she might have said badly about you to heart. You can't let this one thing define your whole life. Just keep in mind (as corny as it sounds) that time heals most wounds.

About travelling by yourself if it's really something you want to do then you should do it, but if you wanted to go with someone else then I think you shouldn't settle for less. Try improve your self confidence by going out and searching for someone who would be interested in travelling SEA with you. I think finding someone new and travelling with them, opening up, being honest, etc, etc, could really benefit your situation right now and you could (if things go nicely) even get a new gf out of it!

>>17010626
Thanks for your advice.

I see the relationship as something positive and something i an definitely look back on with a good feeling. Positive and lessen positive things happened but thats all yin and yang.

About travelling together with someone, i dont think that someone else will have 4 months off to travel together and i will probably meet with people in hostels as well and discover other people through hikes, events and other stuff. Also, i would not even know where to find a person before the actual travelling.

>almost 20
>discharged from USCG boot camp
>no college, no skills
>no car
>no volunteer firefighter or anything near me to give my life purpose
>live on peninsula in US, nothing to do here
>wish I was in military rn
>still no clue what I want to do for a career

What do I do?

I want in with a girl I like

She laughs at my jokes and I know she likes me back, but today I talked to her and I made her laugh genuinely (crows feet smile) but I was kinda in her way so she looked down and went past me.

Anyway she went outside and she got on the phone to someone

She's always on the phone after every lecture since day 1,

I need to start a full conversation with her. I have no experience with this stuff

>>17010671
Have you got absolutely no chance of trying for basic again?

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I think I may have a more serious problem than I thought I had.

I cringe, a lot.
If I'm watching a video of something embarassing, I pause the video and can barely continue. Even if it's fiction. I just can't watch it, I'l look to the ground and try to muster the courage.

Of course, this must have its effects on my social life. I'm not much of a talker, I hate chitchat and have a really hard time getting to know people.

Anyone know what the fuck this is? Is this normal?

>>17010562
Dude; she probably just trying to make you jealous. I mean you have a girlfriend, but you two seem to be hitting it off. Maybe spending time with that dude is a way of her telling you that she wants you to make a choice, or atleast not feel like she is being used herself?

>seeking advice
I have 2 GF since 6 month. First it seems easy to keep it a secret but lest week GF number 1 said she met a funy girl at a bar and it was GF number 2. girl1 wana be friends with girl2 how do I fix this???

>Seeking advice

I'm working in retail right now, and though it's a shit job Ive always been a very hard worker and loyal to my store. I come in when they call, I stay late when I can, I've never called out in the year Ive been working there, and they appreciate me very much: Ive been told this several times.

Usually, if I'm requesting time off, I have to submit it about 3 weeks ahead of time, but I'm going to have to take some time off unexpectedly sooner than that. I'll need about 4 days (Fri-Mon) because I have to fly to another state. Taking this time off is really important to me because, where I'm going, I think it will lead to me getting a better job. How do I approach my HR/management and negotiate for this time off? Ive never had to do this before so I dont know what to say.

>>17010885
Too late, she knows and was gauging your reaction. Reap what you have sown.

>>17010910
Don't think so if she knew she would be so pissed off she prob would try to fuck me up she's kinda crazy

>>17010715
I get this too. It basically means that you have a high empathetic response combined with a low tolerance for embarrassment.

High levels of cortisol and low levels of testosterone have been linked to greater empathy therefore stress reduction techniques and getting proper sleep, proper exercise and eating plenty of fat and protein could help.

Having a low tolerance for embarrassment is a sign of deeper issues though and you probably won't be able to get rid of your insecurities easily.

>>17010715
>>17010936
OP here and I actually get a bit of this too (not as bad I think but still) and I always get told that I have a really empathetic personality but I never put two and two together. It makes total sense though, you're so good at putting yourself in someone else's shoes that when something embarrassing happens to them (even on a movie/TV) you feel like you're there yourself.

Kind of a double edged sword. Most girls love empathetic guys but being empathetic sort of makes it a lot harder to meet girls. Small talk and chit chat just seems that much more awkward because it's like we're experiencing from both ourselves and the other person at the same time.

>>17010885
You have only yourself to blame for this man, you abused a good thing.

>>17010906
Just approach your manager and be like, "I know that you usually have to give three weeks notice when you want time off but something really important has come up, and I have to fly out to xyz; can I please have Monday - Friday off?" You can add someone being sick, family troubles, health troubles, any excuse you feel comfortable you can sell to him. If that doesn't work (which I'm 99.99% sure it will) then just politely say that you've never asked for any time off before hand and this is sort of a big emergency, add some tears if you have to.

>>17007141
>Guys are shitty on a physical level. Girls are shitty on a mental level.

As someone who was physically *as well as* emotionally abused by an ex (male), there are exceptions to the rule.

After I managed to escape that relationship, I was left with long-lasting psychological damage that took years to overcome, and I still don't feel quite normal. I emphasize with both men and women who've been emotionally abused by their SO, as it's immensely more painful than any form of physical abuse.

You can stereotype and generalize any gender, race, religion, etc; but anyone with half a brain knows they don't always hold true.

I don't expect some of you basement-dwelling NEETs to understand that. To you, women are whores and men are wife-beaters, no exceptions; you will always be unhappy as a result of your abhorrently negative mentality which you refuse to change.

I have anxiety or confidence issues with women in terms of trying to get with a girl. This happened recently with this girl I see all the time on my bus rides. I'd see her smiling at me, but I think I took too long/missed my chance because now I get a cold shoulder from her.

The thing is that this isn't the first time it's happened, and one previous time it was with I girl I had a crush on, which really depressed me when I just stood there doing nothing.

How do I get through this anxiety? How can I actively do something and approach women and not end up feeling like shit for doing nothing?

>>17010467
Oooh OK next time I approach a guy for to be friends I'll state I want to be friends only. I guess myt friendly perky attitude often gets too confused with flirtatiousness. That you for your regards anon I really appreciate your advice! I now know what to do and not what

>>17010681
It's a tough one. I can try to reenlist but I'll require a waiver for adjustment disorder/anxiety and I'll be lucky if a recruiter is willing to process it. If there was a war and the army needed people my chances would probably be better. But there isn't one so I'd have to show a recruiter I'm worth his time.

I'm in love with a new girl at work, she work in my building but we're on opposite ends. We've talked a little, but not much. Some days I only see glimpses of her sitting in her (shared) office, or her passing mine. Other days I get to say something to her in passing, so I could only say hey/hi/bye. Only once I was able to arrive at work at the perfect time so I could walk with her from the parking at the office, and also once able to leave at the same time as her, so I was able to talk a bit. She doesn't stay in the coffee room, and I rarely have a reason to come to her office, and a few times she had to come to my office for something. There is almost no way to talk privately, so I also have to make sure others don't notice it (too much). Two months ago I fell in love with her at first sight and I barely know her (and she me), though I know some things about her I read online, I also have tons of clothed pics of her to admire.

But I heard there might be some downsizing going on in her team very soon, and I don't know if she'll make the cut. I fear losing the opportunity to talk to her and never seeing her again. Of course I know her email, facebook, twitter,... but I suppose that would be too soon and look fishy given how barely I know her. Getting together might be impossible, but just seeing her makes me happy, motivates me, could even make me high and I think about her all the time. I haven't felt like this since many years(well, since it's been this strong). So how would I be able to get to know her better or secure a way to keep in contact?

Hello adv,

I'm currently trying to get back into college. My main problem is finding out what to go for. When I want to finish my GD degree a lot of people tell me to do something else than my original plan. But I don't exactly feel that their recommendations are what I want to do for a lifetime or so many years into the profession. I keep coming back and think I'll just stay with the degree even if I crash and burn. I truly rather do some CAD work but that's it.

Next problem is that I have invasive relatives. They take things while I'm away at work and when I come home I usually have to find that has been stolen. Either that or they put more malware on my devices.

1. Changing locks haven't helped
2. Confronting haven't helped
3. Saving up money for school instead of residing elsewhere.

This problem has not been solved for the past four years. I have a lot of anxiety at work because of it.

What should I do?

>>17003535

Stop hanging out with gay guys.
No straight guy wants anything to do with a fag hag.

>>17011543
>I don't expect some of you basement-dwelling NEETs to understand that. To you, women are whores and men are wife-beaters, no exceptions; you will always be unhappy as a result of your abhorrently negative mentality which you refuse to change.

Ironic. Too bad he didn't kill you and just be done with it.

>>17012086
>invasive relatives
>relatives

What the flying fuck... Just tell them to fuck off. If they insist in being such cunts, you gotta move. That's out of fuckin line

>>17012417
>>17012086

What do you do with criminals?

Dumbasses need to learn that it doesn't matter if they're family related or not, if they've got a dick or a pussy, if they're a piece of shit human being you expose them to the law.

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>Seeking advice

I recently discovered that the root of all my problems is that I simply don't take anything in my life seriously. I think it's a coping mechanism I developed very early on to shield myself from uncomfortable feelings of loss and failure.

It's the reason I struggle with making and maintaining friendships and relationships, finding and holding down a decent job for more than 6 months, making any progress with my hobbies and getting in shape and overall health. I mean, I don't take MYSELF seriously which is why I have such a hard time even imagining myself with a successful career, healthy fit body and fulfilling relationships. It affects everything, really.

So how do I start to take things seriously, in order to make progress in life?

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>>17012791
>expose them to the law.

1. No hard evidence
2. They have a ton of black mail leverage on me
3. They already been exposed to it several times.

Ba dump.

>>17013073
I second this problem. Someone find advice for this person.

>>17011978
I'm sure you have good intentions but this behaviour is just, to put bluntly, a bit creepy. You can't 'fall in love' with someone at first sight. Sure you can think they're hot, you can observe things that they do every now and again; and then create a perfect person you think you love around those things. But you haven't met her, you haven't held a decent conversation with her, you don't know anything about her besides what she's put on the internet for everyone to see.

Try and approach her, get to know her as a human being; not this idealised perfect girl you've created her to be in your mind. Also, delete the clothed pics, creepy as fuck.

>>17012086
Think I already answered this, or something similar. What they are doing is illegal. If it is truly as bad as you say it is then you should have no problems going to the police, social services, someone who can do something. Get a restraining order, get them charged - they might be your family but being family doesn't excuse being a total cunt of a human being. Go get some help, I'm sure if you had to you could get compensation for moving out giving your circumstances at home - once proven to social services etc.

Don't take this shit being thrown at you, no one deserves to have their privacy invaded like that, especially by their own family.

>>17013415
Just read this post.
You need to start collecting as much evidence as possible, I'm sure you have more then you think you have. Any leverage/blackmail they have on you that was obtained illegally is inadmissible in the court of law. Try and devise a plan to leave then. Like I said before I think you could get some funding for the state provided your situation. And surely working a shitty job and not having as much money to spend but having your own place to live in beats being fucked over by your own family for years on end.

>>17013073
>>17013417
I think this is quite a common thing, especially in the younger generations in Western culture. A lot of the stuff older generations had to work for has been given to us with little effort. Our whole lives we are told to simply work, earn money, use money to live, repeat until death.

I think the solution to this problem is maybe searching for something that you feel gives your life meaning, something you actually like doing and enjoy spending time doing. And secondly you need to start setting goals, working towards them and holding yourself accountable for not reaching them. Don't set huge goals as well, have something big you work towards but split it into little, more realistic, actually achievable goals.

It's easy to say, "I want to have an amazing pair of abbs" then go to the gym for a week, see no abbs after the week and give up. You can't set yourself goals which are the 'end game' and then be mad that you didn't achieve them after a little bit of effort and give up.

Successful career, healthy fit body, having fulfilling relationships - these are all the big picture sort of things. Instead try imaging yourself going to the gym at least once a week, then twice a week, then three times a week. Lifting 25kg weights, then 30kg weights, etc. Talking to someone, going on one date, keeping a relationship for one month.

It's easy to stay in your comfortable life where everything isn't that serious because no matter what happens you'll always be able to slump back to how life was before (most of us are still there). It's a lot harder to take that leap, make yourself accountable for your failures and keep persisting to better yourself.

Lastly, if you're feeling totally unmotivated, absolutely nothing is serious and your feeling a bit empty it might be a good idea to at least try talking to someone about it (good friend, better yet a therapist that can give a professional opinion on things). Goodluck.

>>17013629
I think the reality of this situation is you either need to destroy your body in a construction job in order to move out, get lucky and land a job with no experience that doesn't destroy your body in order to move out.

Or suck up the shit living situation while you pursue some sort of higher education. Truth is that you sort of need a skill of some sort, something that sets you apart from the rest of the unskilled labour. Doesn't have to be anything fancy, you could do a 6 month course which gives you some sort of skill which makes you a cut above the rest.

Life may be shit now but moving out and working 5 days a week doing pure labour might not be any better. My advice would be to try tough it out while you get some sort of a skill that can get you better employment - up to you though.

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Hey /adv/ I figured I'd ask this here because you guys are better with advice.

I am having a crisis irl with a couple aspects of my life

First I have a very big problem with lying. I honestly dont know whether it is compulsive or not but at this point it is getting out of hand. I lie to get out of work, difficult family issues, and to avoid several of my own flaws.

Two I have issues with my own sexuality but honestly I think I am more in denial than anything I think my lying issues may have an effect on this

And lastly I find myself lacking any motivation in life. I dont want to work, I only work out because I have a home gym, and I keep trying doing different things but end up failing because of boredom or my mediocre performance.

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> Seeking advice

My girlfriend's sister's dog ran away earlier and they found him on the side of the house. My girlfriend described him as being cold, breathing heavily, and not moving his body aside from his head. Her parents won't take him to the animal hospital tonight because they don't know what they could do for him.

I've been looking up on it and I think it might be internal bleeding. My girlfriend, being a student probably doesn't have the funds to cover his bill, and her sister is out of town. (Yes her sister left town while her dog was missing.)

Has anyone had a situation with a pet like this? If so, what should I tell her to do? If it's worth anything, it's a chihuahua.

>Seeking advice

Lately i've been thinking about my ex boyfriend and it's killing me. I still love him and I know I messed things up between him and me but it's hard to get over someone you absolutely love. I'm currently dating someone else and I love him too but there is something about my ex that I just can't get over. He treated me like shit but goddamn I still love this dude. My feelings for my ex are slowly fading away but everytime I see or look at him on my timeline on facebook, I die a little inside and just want to message him that I still miss and love him.

Can anybody please help me with this situation? It's gotten so bad that i'm physically hurting from it. I've tried so many things like blocking him and deleting all our pics but I eventually unblock him and still look through our tagged photos on facebook. I know this is unhealthy for me and I'm really desperate at this point. Thank you guys so much.

>>17013760
1. Lying is generally quite natural, it's just one of our ways of getting out of situations we would rather not be in. If you find yourself lying A LOT then probably try seeing a pysch/therapist about it because it might be a result of a more underlying (no pun intended) issue that you're suppressing. Before you do that probably try find an actual scientific, peer reviewed journal on compulsive lying and see if you actually line up with the symptoms. In most cases we like to associate something like lying with us being a compulsive liar because it gives us an excuse or a way of justifying that 'bad behaviour.' When in reality you just might be lying more than you usually do and not actually be a compulsive liar persay.
2. Sexuality for the most part is just a social construct and people often get caught up in not exactly lining up with a certain category. Just try not to be ashamed on whatever you are interested in, you can't really help it and it's not really anyone else's business to be judging you.
3. I've talked about motivation or something similar in nearly every single one of my posts so just read through a couple of them, I'm sure you'll find something worth your time.

>>17013897
Take it to the vet. It shouldn't be that expensive just to get it checked out and see what's up. If it's something serious it might cost a lot of money but the vet will talk you through all the possible options. Just get her to at least take it to the vet to get checked out, poor dog shouldn't have to suffer especially if it's something simple and cheap to get fixed and all you needed was the vet to tell you.

>>17013915
It's not unhealthy, it's actually quite healthy. If you were quite emotionally invested in someone and then you break up, you're obviously going to crave that feeling of being loved, loving someone or just having someone to care about in your life.

People will have differing opinions on what you should do, personally I think that blocking him/deleting your pictures is just a temporary solution and won't really help you get over the fundamental hurt. Just simply scrolling past his photos, trying to not think so much about it or when you see them instantly have something you'll do (listen to music, watch a video/tv) in order to take your mind off of it.

You've already said that you're dating someone else and that the feelings are starting to fade - proof enough that things are starting to get better. There's no real way to stop the hurt, it's sort of inevitable with the amount you've obviously invested into someone else. You just have to accept the fact that things are done and things obviously ended for a reason, try treat it as an experience that you can learn from. I know it's not what you want to hear but the only thing which will truly fix this is time - just have to push through and you'll come out as a person twice as strong and half as likely to make the same mistakes you did. Goodluck.

> Seeking advice

I am on my last year of high school and I feel like I've been pursuing the wrong thing.

All my time in school thus far has gone into things I hate and pursued only for the possibility of money. However, I have found that I enjoy drawing and I would like to start animating things. My concern is that I have wasted too much time on typical school shit and neglected the thing I want to do to the point where, if I started, I would be doomed to fail at making it a career.

I'm wondering if I should just go through with the stuff I hate just to make a decent living but I also feel that I need to choose now or I will end up making no progress either way.

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I'm at a fork in the road with my life
Parents are selling the house I live in and i have two options.

>>option 1

>try to stay in the area i'm at and get an apt with friends or gf
>live off a paycheck where my first paycheck of the month will only pay for rent, while working full time
>be close to friends, who i'm really not to close too anyways
>be close to girlfriend, who I love, but understandably could be separated from

>>option two

>move out with family
>sell car and maybe get a different one
>job could transfer me to the new location, two states away
>more opportunities for jobs with my BFA
>dad wants to start flipping house and make $$$ from doing that and renting


Honestly, I think I can have a better life moving away but i feel compelled to stay because GF, friends, and familiarity.

>if I was single I probably wouldn't even care

pic unrelated, rip pup

>>17013994
fuck that dog. hope it got run over and died slow

>>17013999

You will die alone and afraid

>>17014007
Bring it on.

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>>17014019

>>17013987
>I am on my last year of high school
You're still young and you're meant to feel like you don't know what the fuck you're meant to do. Rarely will someone come out of high school thinking they want to do xyz then continue doing xyz throughout the remainder of their life. You're meant to be trying new things, seeing what you enjoy and don't enjoy - that's pretty much half of what being young is. My advice would be to make sure you have something under your belt that acts as somewhat of a safe career path, use that as a backup or even a main source of income if you want to.

Then go out and try things you want to do, you can always come back to your back up plan if things don't work out. Or alternatively you can use your 'back up plan' as your main source of income and pursue the things you enjoy in your spare time, as your hobby. Who knows you could eventually figure out a way to make it worth something and have no need for your 'back up plan' as your income.

You're young, you have room to make mistakes and try new things - it's actually encouraged.

>>17013994
How old are you out of curiosity?
If I was you I would take option 2 tbqh. You'll get to experience some new things, meet new people, see a bit more of what life has to offer. Sorry to say but the fact that you're even considering option 2 sort of gives even more reason to go.

I think you could potentially find an even better girl in the next place you go to, have an even better life and not even look back for a second. If worse comes to worst, if you leave things on good terms with your gf you can always come back and give it another shot, or if you become super successful in your new place she could even be inclined to move there.

Ultimately, you can't lose much from making the move. You can always come back if things go horribly wrong and at least then you can say you've tried. Don't be like us and spend your life doing the same thing wishing you would've taken the leap.

>Giving advice
If you're going through life where all you want to do is find a job and make money to live comfortably, then congrats! you're just like everyone else; except, wouldn't life be more interesting if you were engaging or even helping other people at the same time? Once you've landed a job, maybe volunteering will help give you perspective on other people's lives to help you realize that you've got it pretty good.

OP here going to offer some general advice:

>Personal hygiene
-brush teeth twice a day, floss once a day, use mouth wash every couple of days. Protip: after flossing use the floss to scrape the bacteria of your tongue, helps keep bad breath away
-get a good haircut, if you have no idea just find a celebrity that's around your age and see what they're rocking, explain roughly to barber/hairdresser and always go with whatever they're suggesting (if you picked a good one) then they'll know what they're doing
-shower at least once a day, use a body wash, try and at least wash your hair every few of days, if your hair doesn't stay in place after a good wash invest in some good wax or similar
-dress well, if in doubt a good starting point is again celebrities around your age, don't go over board and dress like a faggot though, try keep it simple. If your clothes are old, don't fit, have holes in them - invest in some new shirts and a pair of pants
-use deodorant and try get some sort of a good smelling but unique cologne - smell is linked pretty strongly to memory so if you make a good first impression then she might be more inclined to remember on further encounters
-if your facial hair looks like shit just go clean shaven
-at least pluck the middle of your eyebrows and the obvious stray hairs on the outside (don't go overboard or you'll look like a faggot)
-keep your finger nails in check, if you bite them and don't make them look good then stop and use nail clippers
-opinions on body hair vary, your gf will probably tell you her's once you get a gf. As long as it's not super fucking hairy you should be fine

All I can think of for now, might add to it later - feel free to add anything you think might help

>>17014029
Part 2 btw

>25, almost 26
>gf will be most likely successful and stay where we are currently at. Also her parents are way better off than mine

I agree that if i am thinking about itI am more inclined to it, but i wanna speak freely and hear positives and negatives

A very large pro though
>For 200-400 less dollars i can have a mortgage on a house that i could possibly rent out while living with parents

>Parents are awesome and I love them

>Health related
-the best option is obviously to go to a gym but if you're not confident enough for that or can't for some reason then the following should help keep you in decent shape
-invest in a good pair of shoes, some shorts, a shirt; find a track, beach, beach track, oval, field, street and start jogging. Start maybe 1 - 2km every few days and increase distance, pace, frequency whenever you feel comfortable
-do some sort of combination of push ups, sit ups, crunches (any sort of simple things like that) every morning or night. Start with what you're comfortable with and build upon it
-always dynamic 'stretch' before exercise; swing your arms and legs around, jog on the spot whilst exaggerating your leg movements, twist your body a bit, just generally try to loosen your muscles and get your body used to the exercise it's about to endure
-after exercise don't just stop, static stretch; walk slowly to cool down, stretch like you normally would (standing still, holding a limb in a certain position), drink lots of water as well
-stop drinking soft drink or any types of sugary drinks and start drinking water. Protip: buy a bunch of water bottles and just keep them in your fridge, grab one when you're thirsty, fill it up once you're done
-try keep fast food to once a week if you have to have it, also going for the healthier options (if there is any might help)
-stop snacking, have big meals and if you have to snack try grab fruit or something small
-don't over eat (or under eat for that matter), you can easily survive off of two big meals a day. DON'T JUST EAT BECAUSE YOUR BORED. We all fucking do it, if you ever find yourself looking for food because you have nothing else to do, find something else to do
-if you can't do something intense throughout the day at least walk around your house/backyard
-get general checkups at the doctor annually and skin checkups if you live in a place with lots of exposure to sun, where sun screen if you're in these areas

>Giving advice
- Call your parents and some of your good friends every once in a while. Don't just ask how it goes, talk about their shit, listen to their shit and recall old memories a bit. Plan a date to meet again if you feel like it.
- Real people and real friends, when they offer a listening ear or help for your shit, don't feel burdened to make use of it (to some extent, ofcourse not too much). People who easily say to "get over it" are not worth your hassle.
- Although, you should man the fuck up sometimes and swallow the hard times.
- Save a bit of money every month.
- Travel! Go travel on your own to a foreign country. Get lost, cry on your own in a dorm room, get sick from eating food and try to meet new people. You were not made just to be a static entity who doesn't get out of his comfort zone.
- Love, with all your heart. Don't be afraid to do it again if your love fails.
- Time heals all wounds.
- Exercise every now and then
- Drink more water
- Sleep enough
- Make a daily task thing to do
- Reflect on your day, your past experiences and memories
- Keep reading
- Express gratitude

Good luck, my brethren.

>>17014112
Or, if you're bored and you want to eat, at least make sure that it's something healthy and snacky size, like bananas, tomatoes, cucumber or oranges.

>>17003696
what did you do to anger him

>Seeking advice

Recently I broke up with my GF of about a year. I'm 25 and I almost finished my Master's, which after I will travel for a couple of months and then eventually will have to start working.

I'm afraid of the difficulty of getting to know new people and girls without the environment of my University, house parties, and what not. Living the 9/5 life seems incredibly dull to me and only grants me a couple of hours a day to relax, how am I supposed to meet new people?

>Life stuff
-get a hobby or something that you're interested in and sort of proud to be interested in as well. Nothing is less attractive to a girl then a guy who does NOTHING but work and depend on her (good things to do of course, just in moderation)
-take opportunities as they come. It's easy to do the same thing and never change but if you want to improve your life it's the only option really. If you fail at least you've learnt something and can return to your same old life, but be able to say at least I tried and learnt something
-focus on improving yourself. It's so easy to say "once I have a gf everything will be okay" or "once I move here everything will be okay." Of course these things might help but ultimately the fundamental problems lie within you and only once you 'fix' those will you see the improvement you desire
-adding onto that point, women desire guys who are driven and self motivated. So as long as you don't take it too far and become selfish, then with self improvement you'll probably naturally attract the gf you desire
-be honest to yourself and to others. Nothing is more annoying then a cunt who is always lying to try better other people
-don't complain constantly. Obviously it's natural to complain and everyone does it, but if you're constantly doing it, you won't be liked
-try to be humble. Nothing is more annoying then someone who brags about this that and the rest of it
-try be empathetic. A lot of people lack empathy these days, try putting yourself in other people's shoes. Remember that people might be just as problemed, if not more problemed than you are

I am strongly thinking of no longer have any ties to my friends and even my girlfriend. I still feel a little rotten that in a way I broke my promise that I will never leave them. The reasons on why are very personal. Should I do it?

>Education stuff
-if you get stressed easily, just put in as much effort as you can to pass and anything greater than that in purely a benefit
-use a diary or a list of some sort. Write down all the things that you need to to, give them an estimated time, give them a priority and then pencil in time periods to work at them
-take good notes. Being able to come back and simply have to look over/summarise your notes helps A TON come exam time
-school/education isn't the one and only thing. If you can fail, you can always try again. You can always do something else or switch courses if you want, nothing is set in stone
-do some research into the sorts of jobs your education will get you and what it entails. Would be nothing worse then to spend 3 years getting a degree to figure out you can't get a job. Or that the job you wanted is completely different (a lot worse) then what you expected
-always ask questions in class. Guarantee you that someone else is thinking of the exact same question but is just too afraid to ask
-teaching other people concepts helps reinforce your own understanding soooooo much more than just keeping it all to yourself
-try not to leave things until the last minute
-a coffee can help you accomplish a lot in a morning

>Seeking advice

first of all this isn't really important and i'm not too concerned about the answer. however, I started talking to a guy recently and every time we have a conversation it's with him asking me if I've seen a certain documentary, read a certain book or heard of a certain band. so it seems like he wants to talk to me but he never starts with "hey, how are you?" or anything regular like that, and while we're talking he doesn't ask too many personal questions but tends to try to get the conversation going again if it tapers off. if I volunteer personal stuff he doesn't seem too interested very often.
so what's the deal? does he just have bad social skills? only talks to me when he's bored? likes me but doesn't know how to talk to people?

>>17014089
Yeah, but you might feel a bit unfulfilled if you just thrive off of her success and don't actually try to succeed on your own. Also, your parents won't be around forever so it's probably for the best that you stay with them for as long as you can; especially if they're good parents.

I still think you should go with your parents to the new place, if things don't work out then you can always go back.

>>17014138
With a Master's I think you'll find that you'll only be working 9 - 5 for a little while. Once you gain experience with those qualifications under your belt you'll probably be able to work 4 days a week, maybe even one of those days being a half day and still get by just fine.

As for meeting new people it will be different for everyone, but I'm sure you'll meet tons of new people when you start working. Work will always be sort of dull but you're working so you can have a great life when you're not working. After work you can always go with friends to a bar, catch up with University friends, get to know new work colleagues - not to mention the new people you'll meet when you go out.

I wouldn't worry about it too much, you'll just have to adapt to a new environment. Enjoy Uni while it lasts, try meet as many people and do as many things as you can while you travel and I'm sure once you come back you'll get along just fine.

>>17014156
Why do you want to break all ties with your friends and girlfriend? Unless they're all doing something super fucked up then I don't think you should be doing that

>>17014193
I think he has good intentions but he might, like you said, not have the best social skills. Or it could be that he doesn't feel ready to commit to any sort of meaningful relationship so he doesn't want to get into that personal sort of stuff. Or maybe he's just scared to open up, a bit intimidated to make himself vulnerable like that.

Although it does sound a bit weird if you've been volunteering personal stuff or hinting at the topic and he doesn't seem interested. But maybe that just has to do with the fact that he's not understanding the social skills and sort of links back to him not being too good at socialising.

Try talk about some personal things of your own, similar to what you want to hear from him. If he doesn't respond with something personal back try asking, "what about you anon, have you done anything like that?" or something to that effect. He might just need to be asked the question plain and simple.

If you keep talking about personal shit, asking him about it and he still doesn't respond then after awhile you could ask him, "I've been talking about a ton of personal stuff lately and it seems you haven't been offering up the slightest part of your own life." Of course only say that if you feel that the conversation warrants that, if he literally has been giving you zero insight into his own life. Might turn out he thought his own life wasn't worth sharing because he thinks it's boring, or no one has ever been interested in what he really had going on, or he's never had anyone to share his personal life with.

It's hard to judge these things without knowing the full context or being a part of the conversation, just keep what I've said in mind and go with your gut feeling. With a bit of work you should be able to figure out what's going on.

my girlfriend asked to see my inbox, I told her no it's called private messages for a reason.

She goes on to tell me that it was just a test and she wouldn't want to see it. But because I told her no she doesn't trust me. She knows I'm a private person in general.

She was cheated on before so I'm guessing this is why she's this way.

Did I do the right thing? How do I deal with it?

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>Seeking advice
I'm extremely depressed and feel more anxiety now than I ever have in my life; I feel so nervous and alone right now even though I do have friends
the reason why is because tonight is the night in which I sleep alone, which I haven't for the passed seven months or so. Every night, my girlfriend slept with me, everything was perfect and we were so happy, I won't go over why she is gone, it isn't relevant, but I feel it is going to be an extremely rough night for me as to try to sleep, when I have already cried and felt loneliness to a point where I genuinely feel sick, headaches, dizzy, things like that, and it didn't hit me so bad until I really started thinking about it.
I'm typing too much, but I will explain at least why this affects me so much:
throughout my life I have been severely neglected, I have always went through an immense amount of emotional pain, being hated, abused, controlled in an abusive manner which made me more lonely, and destroyed mentally by those whom I thought loved me.
Eventually I found my latest girlfriend, who helped so much, made me happy, made me feel loved and cared for, and slept with me each day, and she was identical to me and so we loved this type of attention from each other.
Now she is gone, and I feel so fucking dead inside, I don't know how I am going to sleep properly, I hate the insomnia in which depression births.
I don't know what to do now, I feel so terrible.

p.s.
Since I do not like to ask for advice without returning favor, I will stay here and try to offer any advice about being a man, dominant, assertive, and not losing in a relationship because if there is anytihng that I excel at, it is, somehow, that. I'll stick around for that, and also hopefully seeing advice for my case.

Thank you so much.

>>17014311
>>17014311
Let her see your messages, if you have nothing to hide, you'll have nothing to hide. I have dealt with a jealous girlfriend for a very long time, an /extremely/ jealous person. In my opinion, I would say let her see. You are a man, and if you are a true man, as you should be, then you have nothing to hide, and it will be fine for her to see. Although her behaviour there was a bit toxic, in which she says it was a test, she does have a reason though to not trust you; for when if you wanted to see her private messages let's say, I'm sure you would hate to hear no.
Try to put yourself in her shoes, and understand. If you want to do something that will actually make her very happy, if you are genuine and you don't actually do anything bad in that inbox, then tell her that you are sorry, and that you will show her your inbox, and that you can understand why she wouldn't trust you for something like that, but now you understand. I don't want to tell you exactly what to do in such a situation, since dealing with a jealous girlfriend is extremely complex in this matter, they can either be very happy with your decisions or they can go batshit, but generally a jealous girlfriend is pleased and happy when they are able to feel better and more clairvoyant as to what is going on with their significant other.
I'm not the jealous type, and I like to see my girlfriends inbox, messages, accounts, etc, everything, I like to control it all, just because it genuinely pleases me.

>>17014359
seconded, but coming from the perspective of a jealous gf. I read all my boyfriends texts (he knows, and gives me his phone after he gets a text and has read it himself so I can read it). I honestly don't believe he would cheat but it just makes me feel more secure as someone that's been cheated on multiple times. sometimes he gets messages he asks me not to read and I respect that, probably because he does let me see them usually - I know he's not hiding anything, he just wants to keep some things to himself.

>>17014337
I understand exactly how you feel and really feel for you anon. If I were you right now, I would sleep with the tv on, music playing, white noise, anything so you don't feel as lonely. Luckily for me I have a friend who will Skype with me while I sleep (video) so I know there's someone there, would any of your friends do that for you?

>Seeking advice

I'm afraid of living and I don't know what to do. Right now, I'm 21 and I live at home, so I have a lot of pressure on me to launch out into the world and start being social, going on dates, getting a job, going to school, etc etc. But I'll be frank, it all scares the crap out of me. Mostly because I'm an incompetent fuck. I've never had friends, I've never dated. Both things terrify me because for various reasons I feel like most people wouldn't like me very much. I was shitty at high school with B-C grades even when I gave it my all. I've tried holding the basic minimum wage jobs but since I'm a bumbling idiot I've never held one for longer than 6 months. Worst of it all is that I've just sort of accepted it and started trying to convince myself that I don't need or want any of those things, to the point where imagining myself attaining any level of success feels like a far-off dream. I feel like the only path forward is suicide but I hate the idea of making my family sad and quitting like a coward more than I hate feeling like shit every day.

So, I don't know what to do. Oh and thanks to anyone who reads all this. Reading over it, it's fucking pathetic but I don't know how else to put it so meh.

tl;dr I'm terrified of living because I'm really not very good at it in the slightest; what can I do to work my way through it and start moving forward?

>>17014359
I typed out a respond to this but I accidentally refreshed the web browser so I'll just give a summary of what I said

I've never had the need to check her messages or suspected her from cheating. It is an early relationship (slightly less than a year) and I've never really had a proper gf like this so maybe that's why I find it so hard for me to be in her shoes.

It just seems that you're somewhat controlling and your gf doesn't mind/enjoys it.

>>17014434
I have a fear that after I show her the messages she'll just keep asking for more when she's not satisfied by it anymore. i.e. giving her my password and other private things.

She has been cheated on as well so I guess you and her have the similar mindset, I'll think about showing her if it mean I can keep things to myself without her badgering me

>>17014475
focus on cultivating more trust and care in your relationship, show her that you only love and want her so much that she won't feel the need to ask for more.

>>17013953
I'll go ahead and update. They took the dog to the vet this morning and she said that he had a ruptured bladder. They had to put him down.

I'm 19 and currently in my second year of university and have no romantic or sexual experience and feel like it's time I had a girlfriend or something.

Some people say to meet girls with hobbies but I don't think that works for me, I like reading, writing and drawing which are all quite solitary, I also box but that's very masculine and there aren't girls where I train. The non-boxing gym I go to too is quite old school and small and girls don't go there, I wouldn't want to change because I love the place and am friends with the owner.

Tinder doesn't work on my phone for some reason and I haven't got many friends here because I'm quite shy, but I've been working on it and improved my social skills a lot.

I know there's nothing wrong with me, I have friends from back home who love me to pieces and I figure I must be at least above average looking from interactions I've had with people.

Can anyone help me? I can't figure this out and really feel like I need to start having romantic relationships with women

>>17003363
i'm 24, i spend 3 years in a bachelor study that just wasn't for me, i got burn-out and had to stop.
I'm now in another bachelor study thats more fitting, and i enjoy it more, although often times i'm depressed about having to start over. What do? I'll be 27 when i finish this without anny issues. Will i be able to find jobs? or am i fucked? i'm in europe, so atleast i don't have cripling debt yet.

>>17003496
My GF was in a similar boat, virgin till 21 cause she was surrounded by gays, and too introverted to make new friends.

You gotta put yourself out there, tinder, okc, pof, any of those.

>>17015269
Try going to clubs. I've met plenty of friends and cute girls myself through the creative writing club on my campus. If you're interested, you can check out the student involvement events too. That's where I met my current girlfriend.

>>17014117
Thanks mang, good stuff.

>>17014085
Ill add a little bit:
-If you suffer from bad breath check for tonsil stones. I didnt even know these things existed, its just pieces of food stuck in your tonsils rotting away.
-Electric toothbrush, best investment Ive made.
-Dress: go to /fa/ and check the sticky plenty of info, same for perfumes.
-TRIM your pubes, it makes your dick look bigger and women DO prefer trimmed hair to a nasty uncontrolled bush.

Some general advice from me:
-All that free time you spend learning how to play the newest MMO, or watching anime, playing LoL, etc.. could be spent learning something useful that will help you in the future, like investing, day trading, starting a business, again we have a board for these things (biz) and reddit usually has tons of guides as well.
-You suck with women? Dont be fucking afraid to learn game, there are 1000's of videos on youtube on this subject and its all free. A good starting point would be RSD, a goldmine of information.

If anyone needs more info on learning game or trading, let me know and Ill post some good starting points.

>>17015334
Clubs as in nightclubs or student ones you mean?
I'll definatley try creative writing, whats student involvement in events? You mean like organizational stuff?

>>17015269
Bluestacks for mac/pc. You can tinder on there.

Youre at uni, there should be girls in your classes. Sit next to any of them and ask how they did on the exam/project/essay etc.. Hopefully youll have enough social skills to continue the conversation and at least become friendly. Rinse and repeat and then start studying or working together with your new classmates and you should start developing a social circle, which will lead to dates and stuff.

>>17015366
Thing is there's only about maybe 10 girls in my class so I don't know if I'd want to try a relationship with any of them, I think most of them are taken anyway, but I'll definatley become friends with them

Do programmes like that work? Would it not need to work off my phone at all?

ive moved to a new city and i dont know anyone here. i have no idea how to meet new people, girls in particular. after reading a lot of these threads, i go outside a lot and just walk around exploring the city, going into random shops and stuff. but that didnt work, i didnt meet anyone that way. can anyone help me with this? i really dont want to carry on living alone, but i dont know how to fix it and i dont have anyone to help me

>>17015401
You dont need to hit on them, if they become your friends then they will introduce you to more females.

Yeah it works, you gotta install the fakegps app and leave bluestacks open. OKC is also an option though not as easy and just swiping on tinder.

First things first though buddy, gotta walk before you run. Focus on the shyness and social skills before worrying about a gf.

>>17015419
Tough spot to be in, but you can pull through bud.

-What do you like to do? You like walking? Join a hiking group.
-You like taking pictures or cooking or w/e , join a class or a club related to that interest.
-Get a job and meet people there.
-Try online dating?
-Go on places like couchsurfing and search the your city's forums for events, most of the people that go to these are travellers looking to meet people as well.
-Get a roommate? helps with rent and they'll probably introduce you to their friends.

>>17015457
i dont really like doing anything in particular, i like stock market stuff buts that really a social thing. i have a full time job but the people there are much older than me and all have families and stuff. online dating was a massive blowout for me, honestly one of the worst things ive ever done (i got no good responses after about 8 months on there, awful). yeah i dont own the place im living in so i just have to wait for more people to move in (im the only one atm weirdly) but id like to be more proactive

>>17013571
I know I'm somewhat creepy. Like I said I have rarely have the opportunity to talk to her, short of being lucky when arriving/leaving or doing something stalkerich like waiting her up(which I'm not even considering), I can't just walk to her desk and talk about random non-work related things. Especially since I don't do that with other people.

Actually I'm addicted to the feeling of being in love. Seeing or interacting with someone I love, makes me happy and keeps me going. I don't think thought crimes exist, so I don't see any reason to quit loving/lusting someone because it might be inappropriate to think that way. In fact I was already 'in love' with a couple other coworkers in a different building I see even less, which provide me with a low dose. I didn't see them for several weeks, so I suppose this new girl was convenient, but at the same time giving off a high dose. If she leaves or if I'm forced to stop seeing her, it might be like going cold turkey.

>>17015419
http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/aoc-toolbox-moving-to-a-new-town-episode-400/

>>17015744

Holy shit this podcast sounds literally insane. Yeah let me just take my scant non-work hours to go to all these social events, start learning a language, throw parties, and make a gorillion friends to go hang out with. Was this made by yuppies or something? Fuck this is infuriating.

As if everyone is going to have all these applicable interests and the fucking time in the world to do shit like join a snowboarding group? Are you fucking kidding me?

>>17015356
Yeah, I'm not sure if your school does the same things but my university has events that are basically free entertainment to keep students involved with something.

And yeah I meant clubs as in student clubs. Not only can you meet girls, but you can meet friends who can introduce you to girls. Girls and just people in general are more likely to become romantically interested in people they are around a lot. If you end up going to a club or something once a week you'll end up becoming familiar with more girls who are in the clubs which can lead to a relationship/sexual activity.

What kind of classes are you taking?

>>17015419
You could always try Tinder and throw in your bio that you're new into town.

>>17016123
ive been on tinder for eight months and i didnt get a single match lol. and for 6 months of that i was swiping right for everyone on my deck

>Seeking Advice
I dont know what I want to do with my life. Im currently a minimum wage slave with no career (just a job) So I feel like I need to take that next step. I tried looking at Unis and what degrees would suit me, but Im still clueless. I dont even know If I want to go to uni.

I guess Im asking how do I make a descion about what to do next?How did you do it?

So I think my fiancee just cheated on me.

She had her ex boyfriend over last night and they were drinking. He doesn't know she's engaged to me. She says she's not telling him because she knows it will hurt him. So naturally that makes me uncomfortable and I told her that. So she swears up and down that she's not going to have sex with him, she just wants to be my wife and all this and that. And then I get a message this morning that just says "I fucked up," and now she's not talking to me today. I wanna think it's about something else but I'm assuming the worst. She probably did something with him and now she feels bad about it.

Anyway, sometimes her behavior really seems like she just wants me to put my foot down and tell her no. Regardless of whether they had sex, how do I handle this situation? Do I tell her she has to tell the guy she's engaged? Feels kinda ridiculous, because if she's doing it because she still wants to have sex with him, and not because of sparing his feelings, I'm just getting played at this point. More important than whatever happened is that I don't feel like I can trust her, and I can't deal with this fucking paranoia anymore.

>>17016248
Do you really have to ask what to do here? Isn't it obvious?

10/10 Really raging right now. Good bait.

>>17016254
Yes I do. I'm not even baiting, my man. Tell me.

Tell her she can't do that?

>>17016258
Dude, break up with her. She's obviously cheating on you. This is a matter of self-respect.

Do you really want to marry someone you can't trust? Damn it. Yeah, I'm mad.

>>17016258
fucking leave her you dumbass

>>17016264
>>17016275
I don't wanna think that's the only way. We have an entire future planned together.

But at the same time, while I offer her so much and treat her so well, it seems sometimes like she can't offer me the same guarantee of trust.

>>17016286
> it seems sometimes like she can't offer me the same guarantee of trust
It's not that she does not give you trust, Anon. it's that she does not give you respect.

You cannot love what you cannot respect, remember that.

>>17016286
okay buddy i was in a similar situation with a girl had our whole life planned out everything was great and then like an idiot I did what you're wanting to do and you know happened? I ended up on my parents house(had to be the one to move out of our apartment) crying like a bitch because she broke up with me at the beginning of what was a surprise romantic date for us and posted pictures and comments about that guy she was fucking the very next day. It has fucked me up so bad don't make the same mistakes I did

>>17005375
ask him if you have to bring something if he says that you dont buy him a nice gift like a shirt or something

How can I fuck more girls?I have sex very unfrequently

>>17016424
tinder

>>17015265
Hahaha stupid dog getting a ruptured bladder that'll teach you

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I've been doing well in all of my classes this semester, I feel less lonely and feel closer to friends and I've got an internship and other stuff lined up for the summer and I've been consistently going to the gym and have improved my body.

But there's this hole, a weird emotional psychosexual hole. I want to be in a relationship with someone. There's this girl I regret not confessing to, recently we reconnected and I got her contact info. I feel like I have a second shot, but I just know I'm going to fuck it up. When I think about telling her all of my insecurities flare up and completely dominate me. I feel like I deserve to feel like shit and lonely forever.

How do I deal with this? I'm sorry if this is more venting than asking for advice.

>>17016129
>ive been on tinder for eight months and i didnt get a single match lol. and for 6 months of that i was swiping right for everyone on my deck
Protip

Tinder punishes men for swiping away a lot.

OK so I just got a new job, good salary, great experience, expensive area but get better pay because of this. There's also a massive amount of companies that take me and my BF's skills, however the competition is also more intense.

The issue is I had to move away from BF to take the job. We only just started living together again after 2 years LDR and now we're back at LDR stage again.

He's willing to leave his job, and we can afford for him to do that, but I am really scared that I'm fucking up his stable job, leaving him unemployed for no good reason. He's going to try looking for jobs before he gets here, but what should we do if that doesn't materialise? What would you guys do?

>>17007282
I think you'll be fine in cali. We got a big Filipino community here so you should feel fine.

>>17016634
What kind of insecurities anon?

what should i do with my neuroscience degree?