i'm what people consider a "career woman" i guess. i'm proud and love what i do and i only keep growing from the industry i work in. i'd still like to raise a family someday though.
i think i'd like to have a house husband.
my boyfriend's career/job isn't really going anywhere and he really doesn't know what he wants to do (currently works at a bar/restaurant as a server), plus he suffers from anxiety. he's also very considerate, hard working, responsible, and knows how to cook and clean... it's also a bonus that he has experience with handling kids from babysitting his nephew so often.
i just wonder if being a house husband would be emasculating or something? would this not work out? are there any house husbands out there that can give their opinions?
Not a house husband, but I don't see the problem. If you can make due with only one income, anyway. If you weren't already with him, then I'd say you should find someone more on your level, but It's good to see that you're willing to stick with him.
I'd give up a server job in five fucking seconds to be a stay at home dad. Fuck working in restaurants.
>>17008764
the thing is, if i find someone on my level, i'm pretty sure they'll make me their house wife because it's the conventional method of raising a family... i really want to keep my career going though, as much as i'd want kids.
but yeah, he's definitely worth it.
>>17008768
yeah i figured... i remember working as a hostess at a higher end restaurant and it was atrocious. i can't even begin to imagine what being a server is like at an everyday kind of restaurant.... my boyfriend often complains about it.
>>17008745
I guess it's really up to him whether or not it's emasculating. I wouldn't ever use the phrase "house husband," but I don't see any problem with the arrangement. Kind of the inevitable result of gender equality, right? If you have kids, SOMEBODY has to raise them, and if we breed a whole generation of daycare-babies this country is fucked
How will it work when you're extremely pregnant, recovering from labor, and breastfeeding? Does payed leave cover it all? Will you switch to formula very early or not even breastfeed at all?
>>17008745
>>17009742
I'd be your househusband any day
>>17008745
>just wonder if being a house husband would be emasculating or something?
yes he is very likely to cheat on you and he will try to regain his masculinity by having sex with other girls. if he is very loyal then the other thing that could happen is that he will try to do handy work around the house feel more masculine.
>>17008745
Had it been a possibility, I would have lived to be a stay at home dad. No jokes. But, at that time, I made more than my kiddo's mother, and her hours were sporadic.
>>17009780
yeah i was kind of concerned about how he'll react if i suggest such an arrangement... he is kind of a really masculine type of guy. loves sports and stuff. i'm afraid he might get offended or think i'm trying to behead his masculinity or something.
i think he will eventually try to find the kind of job he really wants, but i figured a few years spending time with the kid or something might give him an opportunity to think about what he really wants. even if not, i really don't mind if he stays at home. i just hope he doesn't end up feeling useless or depressed or something.
but i also figure since it's the current year, this kind of stuff is more acceptable nowadays. taking care of the house and kids is a really tough job so a lot of people would recognize to respect it.
As a fellow "career woman," who is heading down the same path as you are, a couple of points.
I might suggest you be careful using terms like "I'd like to HAVE a house husband." You would need to go into this viewing it like an equal partnership: he's not just laying around the house, he's actively cultivating it. Further, his staying home is what's enabling you to freely pursue that career AND have a family. You may not have any feelings of superiority, but still, please be mindful of it.
As far as your questions at the end of the post, the biggest thing is to talk to your boyfriend. Communication is going to be key. For some, it would be emasculating. I've openly discussed this with my boyfriend, whenever we look further into the future. To him, it sounds pretty awesome. But every man will have different thoughts and feelings. This ties into your next question, if it would work out. Why wouldn't it work out? If he agrees to do so and enjoys it, then it would work great. Generations of people have used this system and it has worked well.
One thing to keep in the back of your mind, however, is the possibility that he may want to reenter the workforce at a certain point. In which case, you'll need to be prepared to talk about it, compromise, and work together. However, this isn't any different from any other major thing that can happen in a relationship. Again, communication is key.
Honestly, it's a horrible idea.
You WILL lose respect for him, because it is emasculating like you said.
Eventually you'll either want to be with "a real man" again or he'll start fucking around to assure himself of his masculinity.
"House" husband/wife, just isn't a good idea in general. It is menial work, and no matter how much he does you'll never appreciate it, and he'll never feel accomplished. Just both of you work and get a nanny.
>>17009795
that's a good point, and i'd like some opinions from working mothers too.
but the thing with my job is i can work from home if i wanted to. most of what i do is done on a computer and doesn't take a lot of time. i think it'd be alright to start going to work physically again after a few months or so.
>>17009806
>>17009814
glad to see there's guys out there willing to be a house husband!
>>17009811
well i was also considering this. but i also figure, how would he have the time if he has to take care of the kid?
he's very loyal though; as mentioned, he works at a bar/restaurant that has some very pretty ladies all the time, but he doesn't have interest in them. something about being "tired of whores". he's been cheated on/burned before in his past relationships, and really wants to be with me because i demonstrate the loyalty that he always wanted.
my experience with men has been very similar. used to being cheated on, and i have my pick of attractive guys especially in my career. but my current boyfriend is who i trust the most and would rather spend time with. tired of being used.
>>17009819
oh that's a good point, thanks for letting me know. english is my second language, so my grammar might not be the greatest.
i realize it's a full-time job to be a house husband and i always thought it was important for a kid to spend time with his/her dad. i fully respect it, which is why i think i prefer my career instead of having to take care of my kid at home... i know it's a lot of work.
i think i mentioned itt about how i'm totally fine with him re-entering the work force. i think spending a few years off might help him figure out what he wants to do. after the breast-feeding phase, my mom would absolutely love to help raise the kid since it's in our culture. (she's the one who wants grand kids most anyway)
>>17009831
haven't most families grown up like this though? the families i've seen that's more dysfunctional has been the ones where both parents are so busy with their careers that their kid ends up feeling neglected.
i don't know if this will make any difference, but both me and my boyfriend wished our dads stuck around in our life. i've seen how hard my mom works to provide for my family too, so i respect that immensely. my boyfriend always wanted to have a feeling of a family too since he's lived in a foster home for the majority of his childhood.
>>17009839
>glad to see there's guys out there willing to be a house husband!
Yeah, but people usually tell me that I'm weird :3
And also, I guess I'm a feminist and don't care about gender roles. I can be both submissive and dominant.
I love kids, and I wouldn't care about being a househusband at all. In fact, I think there's something really attractive to it... like defying society's constructions and valors.
That being said, you have to be pretty qt for me to do so. But that being said too, if you weren't cute in the first place, I wouldn't marry you, so I supose that means that yeah, I'd be totally down for it.
In any case, I kinda find it way harder to find a woman who's actually willing to do it, because she'd probably think less of me.
>>17009910
Haha glad to see there are girls playing this game
Don't worry I'm a nice guy
I'm not like the other guys
If anything I'd be the one in the kitchen! :)
If he's okay with it and you're okay with it I don't see the problem.
Hell I'd love to be a house-husband, but I tend to be into women in careers that don't make a whole lot of money.
