Sup /adv/
So im planning to break up with my current gf of 1.5 years.
We get along very well and there are no major issues with the relationship (cheating, fights etc) but after really thinking about the types of people we are i just dont see it as being sustainable. I am very much an introvert and enjoy my personal time, i also always put career ahead of everything in addition i don't want children or to get married. She is very much an empathetic and emotional person (deals with anxiety and depression), is family oriented and always sacrificing for the sake of others. I think the relationship has lasted this long because we only get to see each other maybe once or twice a week.
Shes an amazing person and we were friends long before we started the relationship. But i feel that it would be best for us to break up so she can find someone better suited to her wants and needs and il never be that person for her. It's not fair for me to keep her in a relationship which i know will not lead anywhere.
Currently im planning to do this face to face in a public place (bar/restaurant), be completely honest about the entire situation, i feel that i owe her that.
Any advice bros?
>>17004064
Why a public place?
Does she have a temper?
>>17004226
No not really. I honestly just thought it would be easier. My place would mean id have to ask her to leave after and she still lives with her parents.
>>17004237
Public places are only good for breakups if you are trying to protect yourself from your partner's temper. Or if your partner is malicious in some way.
Based on how you've described her, she's probably just going to start crying and want to crawl in a corner. That's just going to be embarrassing for the both of you in public.
Just tell her good-bye at her home. Her parents will probably hate you, but they're (probably) going to hate you once they find out you broke up with their daughter anyway.
>>17004237
I'd do it in private. You avoid awkward crying/meltdowns in front of a whole bunch of people. Plus if you invite her out she sort of has the impression you're gonna go out and have fun, then you sort of crush her emotions lol. Unless she's a psycho she'll leave without you having to ask.
>>17004258
>>17004254
Thanks both.
I think it would be best to do it at my place then. I really dont want to deal with her family in that situation, she is very demure but her mother is the kind of person to go ape shit out of nowhere. She will cry.
Though im worried il give off the wrong impression if i just ask her to mine, would it be best to tell her i want her to come round to talk about our relationship so she has at least some idea about whats going to happen?
I really feel like im doing this for the right reasons but i feel guilty as fuck.
>>17004284
If you're gonna do it at your place yeah, give her some kind of warning that it's gonna be a serious conversation. It will be awkward having to ask her to leave after, but just say something like 'want me to drive you home?' after it seems like you're done talking. She'll probably not really want to stay much longer than necessary honestly.
>>17004064
If you want to break up with her, stop deluding yourself like "oh she needs someone else hurr durr". Break up with her because YOU don't want to be with her and YOU need someone else. Don't sugar coat this as an act of charity.
>>17004311
Fair points, i guess im just trying to rationalize it so i don't feel like a complete dick.
I do still care about her but i don't think we are compatible long term. Additionally i just don't want to be in a relationship anymore, i don't feel the way about her i used to.
