>>16999859

how old is the kid?

>>16999859

18 ,so he can leave asap and doesnt need to suffer anymoree

>>16999859
>>16999878

the healthiest way is to not make it any secret. these days kids always seem to find out (at least on TV) and there is no reason to keep it a secret. one easy way to do this is to have pictures or something of the birth parent(s) around the house, or an item from them or something and just point it out to them, even as a baby. as they grow up they just assume its normal. once a month going over pictures with your child (here was you at the park, here was us at disney land, here was you at school, and here is a picture of your birth mommy at the hospital or whatever etc) so as they develop into a conscious and understanding human being its there. by the time they are old enough to understand it they dont really care, cuz they were raised without any confusion around it. if any other kids have quesitons they dont explain. there might be one conflict a year but its not a big deal.

its kind of like how some kids were just raised and taught about sex at an early age, so they can sit there and talk very clinically about it with no shame and just laugh off the kids who get confused or are grossed out or what have you.

>>16999859
I've heard the best age was 6, they understand what you're talking about but really adore you at that age so their opinion of you probably won't change.

>>16999859

also never say 'real mom' or 'real parents' or anything with 'real'. biological or birth.

>>16999859
Well you should tell them as soon as they learn to talk/understand. So yes, around 6 years old is correct.

>>16999893
This is really good advice OP. Kids are great at normalizing things, like having a parent with a chronic disability or having a differnt set of rules to follow at mum's house than dad's house - as long as they understand what's going on. If you wait until you think she's at an age where she can "handle" it, she's just going to be pissed with you for lying to her all those years. If she knows right off the bat that you didn't actually give birth to her, she'll likley not make much of a fuss about it.

It'd probably be a good idea to explain to her why her parents put her up for adoption, and how you came to be looking after her. Try to paint her parents in a good light - you want to give the impression that they're decent people who through no fault of their own had no other choice than to give up their child so she could lead a better life - even if that's untrue. Telling her that her birth mother is a fourteen year old who sucks dick for crack money and no one knows who her real father is really isn't going to help the situation at all.

Don't keep secrets like this from your kids. If they're adopted they should be aware of it from the time they're able to comprehend. It doesn't have to be a negative thing.

Keeping it a secret makes it seem like something shameful. Probably could cause those negative feelings you're hoping to avoid.

As an adopted kid who knew at a young age. Watch for trauma other kids might cause because of the difference
.. Don't be my mom and tell a gf on the way home from school about bio siblings before you tell the kid lololll