Serious depression
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I've been really down on myself lately. I'm in sort of a no-man's land as far as my state of mind.
I'm a 28 y/o male, and I think the main source of all my depression is my failed marriage and never having gone to college.
>Marriage
I don't know. I married the first girl I slept with, I enlisted to take care of us, we had a kid, she met someone else online, divorced me, has since remarried and my daughter doesn't even know my face anymore.
I feel like I'm stuck providing for a family without being part of it. I love my daughter but I'm not even sure where she fits into my life.
I don't feel like a person, I feel like a resource.
It's like I have acknowledge having a kid, even though I don't have a kid, it's like I have a lifeline to a failed life which only serves to make me feel miserable.
>College
I really regret not going to college. Not just to get a degree. Always wanted to go to University of California @ Irvine, maybe do some meaningful research, join a frat, enjoy being young.
I think maybe that's what all this is about? I never got to enjoy a life of my own, and now I feel like I'll never be able to.
>Feminism
This is probably a related issue but I've just been feeling a lot of anger/disgust towards women in general. Any time I hear or read feminist rhetoric I think of how hard family/divorce law has shit on me because I'm a man, and just the higher standards and accountability men have in general and my skin fucking crawls.
A side effect of this is I've gotten really good at "faking it" with women until I've gotten it in, and then I just want them out of my house. This isn't who I want to be, but I just find it very difficult to trust women anymore.
How do I get over this?
>>16988966
>College (con't because I digressed)
I don't even know where to begin. I know I at the very least want an associates in something so I can get a better job. (One of the things I am thankful for in my life is my job, a situation which could be much worse given my lack of credentials)
But is it too late to enroll in university? Live the Greek life? I sometimes worry my ambitions are eclipsed by my reality. Is there a limit to how old you can be before persueing a post grad degree?
I'm kind of just existing at this point. I want to change that.
>I never got to enjoy a life of my own
Why can't you? Do you have the GI bill?
>>16988987
Nope. Got screwed out of it.
And I can't have a life of my own because I'm a dad. No matter where I go or what I do I'll always be a dad.
And truth be told, I love my daughter, but I fucking hate children. I don't even like the idea of long term relationships; the idea of being around one person for that long makes me nauseous.
The real sad thing is 18, 19, 20, 21, 22 year old me knew all of this. But he got married and all that what not because "it's what you do."
I wish MGTOW and similar movements had been around when I was that age so I wouldn't feel like such an aberrant for not wanting to be some woman's meal ticket.
I want to live a full life and die alone. Is that wrong? Is that even possible at this point?
Go to CC and get that Associates. Look at transferring to UCI.
You're probably too mature for the greek life, but you can still go to college and make progress.
>>16989061
>You're probably too mature for the greek life
That's kind of you to say
>Go to CC and get that Associates. Look at transferring to UCI.
Will do.
