>>16986204

typically yes, universally no. if you are too afraid to make a move you are going to miss out on a lot, and this is coming from a guy who thinks people SHOULD spend more time single. but you gotta be brave when the person might be right for you.

i think the biggest issue is you are putting 'rejection' in your mind as something bad.

its not. there isn't a scale by which men are judged. girls dont say 'I SEE THROUGH YOUR ILLUSIONS AND KNOW THAT YOU ARE ONLY A 5.4 ON THE MAN CHART!'

girls dont reject you because you are a bad person. A girl will turn you down because she is not interested in you.

in another thread i told the story of how my mom made what most people would claim to be the best lasagna in the entire fucking world. everyone loved it, neighbors would pay her to make it, an actual fucking chef asked my mom for her particular recipe to use at his restaurant.

but i hated lasagna. i would gag, i would puke, it was the fucking worst. but that doesnt mean my mom made a bad lasagna. it just means it wasnt the right meal for me. you are lasagna OP.

go be the best lasagna you can be.

there is no cloaked man in the sky with a chalkboard keeping track of the number of 'rejections' you get.

>>16986213
thanks. this has been the best advice I've gotten in a long time. maybe I'm just a unique taste that only some acquire? I have been rejected quite a lot, much more than the gf's I've had (which is about 10-13). and when I say rejected a lot I mean a LOT. but I guess I'm an acquired taste?

thanks anyway. that helped a lot.

>>16986224

i think you got it wrong mate. you arent an acquired taste. i think your assumption that most men are tasty is wrong.

do you think ,most men are walking around not getting rejected by girls they ask out?

you got 13 relationsihps, which is a lot more than i can say. i seemed to get 'turned down' every week, but it doesnt bug me, cuz ive had to turn people down to. sure not as many as a girl turns down, but it just shows that if they WERE the ones pursuing us, we'd still be knocking people down to.

you arent an acquired taste. its just a faulty metaphor because there are very few men who are universally enjoyed.

and thats okay. having women universally adore you wont actually change the rest of your life at all, its not a measure of what makes someone good, or fun, or cool, or what have you.

>>16986224

one last thing id try to impart, try not to put so much focus on the 'asking' itself. if you make a big deal out of asking someone out, then it feels bad when they say no. but its just asking someone out. think of it like asking your buds to hang out. they might say no becuase they are busy, or tired, or whatever. its not a big deal when they say no.

neither is this. life goes on to be exactly the way it wa sbefore, which is (ideally) not that bad.

>>16986249
>>16986253
thanks man, your words ring hard for me. I guess what would happen in the past is that when I did get rejected, I would beat myself up internally and develop a lot of hatred inward and outward. obviously this isn't constructive, but it's hard for me to just turn off.

thanks for the advice. it helps a lot.
part of what just goes through my mind when I'm rejected is, "Oh what I'm not good enough for you? You won't take the time to get to know me? Fuck you bitch." and it develops intro a lot of anger, because I personally always take time to get to know people, but when someone brushes me off, I become really angry, though I may not show it.

>>16986268

it happens, and trust me, i was the same way. still am honestly, the initial reaction is 'well fuck you' but i have an almost immediate cool off.

its kinda something you gotta train and reframe in your mind, but at least hearing it helps.

trust me anon. you are a good lasagna. id eat you.