Why so difficult?
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Why is it so difficult to find a loving and caring girlfriend for so many of us? I scroll through my Facebook feed and learn that it seems to easy for so many men, but so difficult for the rest of us.
>How has loneliness affected your life?
__
For me, it has caused me to be hateful of anything and everyone around me. I often snap at people and pretend to be normal at work so I don't get fired and can pay my bills. The situations I keep running into either become impossible or the girl is nothing like what I'm looking for. I'm on an endless search for the women who never give me the time of day.
>It makes me want to die.
>I stay in bed all day.
>My parents are sad and disappointed at the same time
>Only ugly girls or single moms have showed dire interest.
>Attempted to hurt myself in the past.
>My self worth is level zero
Who else is going through this?
>>17006082
Girls don't fix your life they just multiply your liabilities exponentially
>>17006095
This right here.
All human beings are selfish, anon. The sooner you realize this the better. Even when people act out of "out of the good of their hearts", they're still elevating themselves socially/morally, and getting some warm fuzzies. People only do things if it makes them feel good (physically or mentally), or benefits them.
Upon realizing this, the question switches from
>What can other people offer me in relationships?
to
>What can other people gain by being in a relationship with me?
If the answer to the second question is nothing, then you have your answer as to why you're alone. Improve yourself by gaining useful skills and knowledge. Make yourself beneficial and interesting to be around, and the rest will follow.
>>17006082
I'm hopefully going to get my Girlfriend tomorrow.
Wish me luck guys.
>>17006082
awesome, finally watching Game of Thrones
just got to this scene here
>pic related
>WILDFIRE!
tl;dr how are you OP?
Look at the way you just described yourself. That's why.
You don't need someone else to make your life easier, and you sure are making your life harder thinking that way. Get to a positive mind state and live life for life instead of relationships, and those opportunities will come easier.
Who would find someone who is hateful of anything and everyone around them, depressed and suicidal, and assumes no purpose in their life, attractive? Chances are little to none. Stop giving so much of a fuck about the useless stuff like relationships and give a fuck about yourself first given that you put yourself in such a shit state.
/minirant
t;dr stop being such a pessimist and live life for life, and with positive outlook.
>>17006095
WEW. WHAT HAPPENED TO NEVER COMING BACK?
>>17007299
>Be Positive
Not OP but well once you live in a 3rd world shithole you cant be positive
>>17006095
>>17006276
If you guys were more dominant that wouldn't even happen. Either that or you date particularly crazy bitches.
>>17007830
Lol I agree but your dense if you think bitches arent work bro.
Can blame them for being pussies can't blame them for thinking bitches are work.
>>17006082
I mostly focus harder on work and lifting when i get sad due to not having a gf or even prospects of a girlfriend
In the best shape of my life, working on a bachelors degree and got a good part time job but the loneliness is really soul crushing
Dont worry OP, most men have problems finding a girlfriend and what you see on your FB feed is a minority. And its not strange, i mean if you did the impossible wouldnt you brag on FB about it?
>>17007732
>living in 3rd world shithole
>still has time and resources to shitpost on /adv/ and whine about how he doesnt have a gf
>>17008001
>1st world mustard race
You know nothing fuckin normie...
>>17008011
>normie
Why are you /r9k/ers raiding /adv/ ? Why can't you stay on your own board? It was made to contain failures in life like you so you wouldn't pollute other boards.
>>17006082
>I want a loving/caring gf
>wah I hate people ugh!
>Only ugly girls/single moms like me
>I want perfect looking girls only
>Why can't I find good gf???
You're probably one of those guys who calls 8s or 9s as 5/6s too. Because you live in a fantasy world in your head where even though you're bitter and depressing, you deserve a perfect looking woman who also has a perfect personality and is a doctor or something.
What you really need is not a gf, you need a therapist.
>>17008018
>failures
>he doesn't agree with what society dictates him therefore failure
Scared, little normie?
>>17008031
You chose to be a failure. /adv/ is for those who want to try to do something, and improve themselves. You only want to whine about how life is unfair. The same advice applies to you as well as most of /adv/ :
>man up, and stop being a faggot
The difference is that you don't want to.
>>17008039
>you failed therefore it is your fault
>All is your fault
>Everything is your fault
Well expect more school shooters with that attitude of yours normie. Because they won't stop anytime soon.
>>17007299
>just get positive
I don't know if you are serious or trolling but you are retarded either way
>>17008065
So what have you done lately to improve yourself? What have you done to make your life better? Surely, if you didn't choose to be a failure, you would be working on it.
>>17008020
I would fuck a fucking cross country truck by this point. My problem is not, that I'm choosy, but that I have nothing to choose from.
I do have friends, some of them are girls, but are either taken or not interested in me (well currently all are taken).
What I do need is to practice talking to strangers, so that I can pick up a conversation out of fucking nowhere, so that I can actually meet someone new. I wanted to start by trying out online dating, just so I can chat with someone... Matched with 3 girls, all of them just stopped talking after 4-5 messages. And it wasn't anything weird, it was things like, what do you study? What music do you listen to?
Maybe I am asking questions too early?
>>17008204
>all of them just stopped talking after 4-5 messages
Newsflash, that happens to every single person trying online dating. You probably said or did nothing wrong, unless you brought up your anger and depression. Even the top tier guys have a low success rate online. It's easy to start messaging girls, but getting to actually meet her in real life is difficult.
Most girls flake out quickly. That's just how it is. It's a numbers game. You need to message plenty of girls until you get even a few that you can converse with more than just a few sentences. You lost 3 girls? Pfffffff. Please. Go through 30, and you will maybe average 1 or 2 dates.
>>17008217
Well I would need matches on Tinder first. I'm not unatractive, but I don't have many good photos, or instagram, so that might be an issue.
Other then Tinder, there aren't many good free dating sites where I live, and I'm not paying for that shit. Costs more then a fucking hooker.
I don't care about meeting them, but I would rather learn not to say bullshit online, then starting awkward convo on a train, but it seems, that would be the better option for me.
>>17008224
Post a sample of one of those brief conversations if you dare. Block out names. You most likely failed to grab her interest. You have to do that in the first 3 sentences or so. If you can get past that, you will at least get more time to get her interested in you.
My guess is that you were just far too boring and generic.
>>17006082
>Why is it so difficult to find a loving and caring girlfriend for so many of us?
IDK man.
I'm one of those people that everyone likes. Ie when there's a party people call me beforehand to make sure I'd come or they wont.
Really I know I am a catch.
And I still strugle with this.
I get tons of attention from girls but most of them are looking for quick fuck, only want to show me off to their girlfriends like a trophy or have severe self esteem issues.
There are 2 girls that I think are sincere but one is golddigger and the other is playing the chasing game to the point of obsession, like I would be more interested if there is more of a resistance.
There's actually one girl I really like but she is hardcore asian chaser (yeah really she digs asians) and not into me.
love is a game where noone wins
>>17008233
First one:
>Hey. I wanted to drop a line from SPN, but didn't think of something, that would not sound creepy, so I'll start with something boring. :D How are you? //SPN = Supernatural
>Idjit would be enough :D :D :D //Idjit = Line from Supernatural
>And I'm doing fine, except that I have a lot of work and school. What about you?
>I have it kinda same. Working on my thesis + job. So you work while studying too? Something in your line of study?
Was online day later, didn't respond, but wasn't online since.
Second one had "Message me if you have/want a dog" on her profile:
>Hey. I have a dog, but not in -city-
>Hi. Well that's the problem :D
>Can't have one on dorm :D What about you? You have one?
>No no :(
>That's also a problem :D
Her profile says she's a gamer
>Playing something interesting? Was thinking about trying out DAI, but IDK if I have thge time. :D
>No... Not enough time :) But I plan to play Witcher 3. But you should definetaly play it!
>Planning to do that... After I read all the books, and finish 1 and 2 :D
>All plans, and nothing out of it :P
>Lot of games, not enough time :D
>Exactly!!!
>Yeah, maybe after finals. You study too?
Was online for 2 more hours, and then a day later, stopped responding.
I gather, that I started pretty well, considering how much there was to work with, but after the initial start, it all boils down to boring generic questions.
>>17008267
It doesn't look like you did anything wrong. It happens to everyone. This is perfectly normal. You can't get discouraged after just 3 like that. You need to try a lot, lot more.
>>17008341
I would like to, but like I said.
I got only 2 matches on Tinder, and there are total of 15 girls on okCupid. There are 2 dating sites specific for my country, that have decent amount of people, but they are both paid.
I though about chatrooms and the like, but those are plagued with underage kids.
>>17008255
>she really digs asians
This shit man, every time you meet a girl whos cool and doesnt need hardcore dominant men, she wants her perfect anime prince (whos likely gonna be some ugly chinese dude who plays league of legends)
>>17006294
It didn't happen.
>>17008404
Story? Did you at least meet her? Or did she call it off before?
>>17008371
Keep at it. It's not like new people never sign up on Tinder or dating sites.
>>17006082
First off, people on Facebook only post what they want to post. All people and relationships have skeletons. Don't buy someone's Facebook feed as the true reality of their life.
Typical Beta Cuck Shit...the poison of this generation. The mentality that you are somehow "owed a female"... you earn a female's respect.
You are the result of your own doing. How about you put yourself into a female's shoes. Would you want a cry baby bitch who stays in bed all day whining about his delusional entitlements?
I bet no.
Grow up. Get a job. Become something a woman would want to be with.
>>17006082
REMINDER THAT IF YOU ARE AN ADULT KV YOU ARE AN OBJECTIVELY INFERIOR HUMAN BEING, IT WILL NEVER GET BETTER AND YOU ARE INHERENTLY UNFIXABLE.
I REPEAT YOU ARE INHERENTLY UNFIXABLE. NO IMPROVEMENT IN HOBBIES, CAREER OR APPEARANCE WILL FIX YOUR SCARRED PSYCHE, POOR EMOTIONAL PROCESSING AND REPULSIVE PERSONALITY.
SIT BACK AND ENJOY THE RIDE BECAUSE YOU'LL NEVER GET ANY HELP, LOVE OR SYMPATHY SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL KILL YOURSELF NOW.
DON'T LISTEN TO GUYSS LIKE >>17008461 WHO JUST WANT TO WORK YOU TO DEATH OR REAFFIRM THEIR INHERENT SUPERIORITY.
>>17006082
>loving and caring girlfriend
Women are selfish. You need to realize that.
Once you become indifferent towards women and being in a relationship, the easier it will be to actually be in one.
>>17008443
Well pretty much I always liked her for almost 6 Months now
Recently we started to make eye contact again talking close walking close ect....
Yesterday especially she made a pretty big effort to talk, literally flat out comming up behind me and trying to talk but of course I fucked it up
Told myself I would talk to her today
Well It was looking fine but something out of my control came up and now I can not even talk to her until 5 days later
I think it's finally over
It's my fault for not making a move before , I just have to accept it I guess.
She probably thinks I am not interested or are a retard or something, I did it to myself....
>>17008528
You probably don't have much hope, but at least get closure. Get a clear rejection until you give up. Whatever happens, treat it as a learning experience. If you get rejected, then learn from what you did wrong, so next time you will do better.
>>17008537
She deserves better.
>>17008541
fuck her
think about yourself
SHE will probably get over it quickly, because she's used to it
YOU need the exercise, and it's not like you can choose
>>17008541
You don't know for sure. Sometimes, you will be surprised when you will go for a girl you think is out of your league and she will actually say yes when you ask her out.
>>17006082
>Why is it so difficult to find a loving and caring girlfriend for so many of us?
>I stay in bed all day.
lmao
you cant make this shit up...
>>17008556
/r9k/ has been leaking a lot lately. They really should stay on that board.
>>17006082
>For me, it has caused me to be hateful of anything and everyone around me. I often snap at people and pretend to be normal at work so I don't get fired and can pay my bills.
You don't exactly sound like a loving and caring person yourself.
Like attracts like.
Ugly personality and desperation attracts ugly, desperate people.
Before you try and blame your bad qualities on others, stop. No one forced you to blame/lash out at others; you did that yourself, and it's the exact quality that's holding you back. Change that, or don't, but live with the consequences and stop trying to look for external things to blame--just because you're too lazy to change yourself for the better.
>>17008549
>>17008553
I'm going to need to have to wait 5 days even then anyways
I have done this to her enough
Enough is enough, It's my fault and all I am doing is hurting her.
If by some miracle something comes up tomorrow and I see her then sure, but it will never happen and I just need to leave it alone and stop clinging to daydreams about my beta self.
>>17008570
>all I am doing is hurting her
Wut? How?
>>17008576
Leading her on and never making a move.
>>17008570
I had this with one girl.
I had interest, and she was kinda warm towards me, but it turned out, she only liked me as a friend, so we talked it out.
Few months later she got a BF, and my feelings for her resurfaced, so I told her, and her response was Ok, so what. That killed my feelings for her, so we stayed friends.
There are 3 ways to deal with it.
Make her interested in you, but that can turn out very wrong.
Stop seeing her, and forget about her.
Make it, so that she is no longer good for relationship. FE find something that bothers you, and that you wouldn't want in a GF.
FE with the girl I talked about, she turned out to be very shallow. She talks about how she wants someone just to be with, and that she likes to be with someone naturally, and hates flirting, but she falls for the first guy, that flirst with her.
>>17008583
That's just stupid. If you are leading HER on, then make a fucking move. If she REALLY wants to be with you, then just plain saying "I like you, wanna hang out?" should fucking do it.
If she doesn;t she will tell you.
If she'll get mad at you over asking, or laugh at you, tell her what a fucking bitch she is, do a 360, and walk away.
>>17008583
Or maybe she doesn't care about you at all. But you'll never know until you "make a move". Do it faggot. That way you will get closure and can either move on or you have a gf.
>>17008600
Aren't you supposed to put others before yourself?
>>17006082
You seem like you just feel sorry for yourself all the time. Nobody wants to hear this shit. Work out, get fit, but most importantly stop acting like a bitch. Girls hate that shit, don't be self deprecating you dweeb, poke fun at her and shit in a friendly way, don't go overboard though.
Girls can smell when you're being a little pussy man, you literally have to stop that.
>>17008615
But she might want it too. You don't know that.
It's not like you will be ruining her life, if you just ask her out.
>>17008615
What is that supposed to mean in this context?
>>17008628
>But she might want it too. You don't know that.
>It's not like you will be ruining her life, if you just ask her out.
Alright
Lets see how this goes
Thanks anon.
>>17008648
>mfw when you visit /adv/ to get advice how to get a GF and you help someone else instead
>>17008624
Right!?! Bitches already have a pussy: they don't want another one.
>>17008666
>Nice Devil trips Satan
Well what is really motivating me now is realizing it is not just me, it's both of us, the thought she likes me too and all I have done is let he down really pisses me off, a relationship is not really one sided it's a connection, took me a while to stop being so self conceded.
Also in case you want, just for me personally you can embrace Jesus
http://www.cnsnews.com/blog/michael-w-chapman/madalyn-murray-ohairs-son-we-sacrifice-babies-moloch-today-money-reasons-call
It's all going downhill and trying to take people down with it, just some advice, if you don't want to you don't have to.
>>17008680
Exactly, and I've struggled with wanting to kill myself in the past. But I never, ever bring up this type of feely "I'm so sad" bullshit to any girls, ever. You act like you have it together all the fucking time. You have family and close friends for help if it gets really bad. Go see a therapist if not.
>>17008783
>>17008680
You can never display weakness around women. Ever.
I have known this for ages. But I still struggle with it...and since I have no close friends now or family that cares, I have to pay somebody to talk to me. Shit.
I would think it's because of your personalities. Maybe you're that type of person that is the lord of small talk, and talks in a really sterile way. As soon as something gets interesting you're ready to back out because it's not 'normal' to you. Or maybe you're just a socially awkward dick that likes shouting at people in video games, or something like that.
Be mentally healthy and have some fun.
Note that after a long honeymoon period the loving and caring gets less obvious since people have work and lives to do. You may think that you'll be the most awesome boyfriend ever, but people are always wildly optimistic about things that haven't actually tried yet.
