Everyone I have in my life I pretty much met through "natural" means. You know, I just kinda went about my life and our paths just crossed. I didn't have to go out of my way to meet any of these people. I expected college to be crazy for this. I expected to meet so many new people, make so many new friends, but my first year is finishing up and that's just... not happening. I've made maybe 2 friends, barely anyone in my class even knows who I am, girls pretty much don't know I exist.
How do I get myself out there and... well... live? Life has been crazy boring and unfulfilling lately and I think working on my social life/social skills might be a good first step.
>>16996217
you gotta put yourself out there. friends wont gravitate to you. even in college you have to be the one to make the plans. go talk to them. ask them to hang out. make a specific time and day and thing. if they like you tehy will think 'oh this guys serious' and go from there.
I've made friends at the gym. ive made friends on the bus. just by saying 'hi whatsup'. but it doesnt ALWAYS have to lead to a friendship. so keep putting yourself out there. anyone who says 'WHO IS THAT WEIRD GUY WHO KEEPS ASKING PEOPLE HOW THEIR DAY IS GOING WHY WOULD HE DO THAT ITS SO STUPID GAWEDDDD' isnt worth worrying about, if anything you should be the one laughing at them.
that being said, the best way to make friends is to externalize your hobbies, enjoy them in ways that social
>BUT ANON IM AN INTROVERY ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO SOMEHOW FIND A WAY TO TALK TO EPOPLE ABOUT BOOKS
no. list whatever your hobbies are and i guarantee you there is a way to go meet strangers with it.
mostly its
>hanging out at shops that cater (or even just aisles) and striking up conversations with people who frequent there.
>asking said shops about events they host. most places dont make enough money on sales alone so have events that people attend, anything from classes, to a low key famous person, to just a group participating. if they dont host an event, offer to host one through them. its more money for them and all they have to do is put a sign up in their store advertising the when and wehre
>and of course, meetup.com no matter what your interests, there is a group there, and if not YOU CAN MAKE ONE.
if your first thought is
'UGH THAT DOESNT SOUND LIKE IT WOULD WORK' then you dont actually want advice you just want to talk about how hard life is.
also, college clubs duh
>>16996223
There really isn't a lot to me, I play vidya, I'm into music more than your average joe but definately less so than your typical /mu/tant....... thats pretty much it, I've never really considered myself all that interesting. I never have much to talk about.
>>16996217
Honestly dude, you already have one of the better environments for this which is class. You have a reason to bullshit and small talk with pretty much everyone in there without them thinking much of it. Just ask someone that you're interested in talking to about last night's homework or what something meant, stuff like that and branch from there. This is a learned skill and one which I didn't have the first time around but no pain no gain.
The secondary thing is, of course, clubs. It might be a little embarrassing but honestly everyone there is there because they want to and usually are accepting of others. Just go with an open mind and expect nothing other than a few hours of your time to kill.
It really doesn't get better than college senpai. Adult social life in my experience is basically the same randomness of bumping into people at work or at a store or something. Unless you're a degenerate who goes to bars and clubs but all you'll find there are trashy whores and braindead bros.
There are a few clubs but usually for adult sports and the like. Much harder.
>>16996240
doesnt mean you cant find talkative people who only need follow up questions. you can either be interesting, you can take an interest in people. cant have both
>there really isnt a lot to me
>i play vidya
the most common of man hobbies in the digital age, so go to campus and look for any video game clubs. or start one. or just talk to guys in class, ask what games they play and invite them over to play with you.
or, like i said, meetup.com.
get a bunch of random new friends to do a smash bros or halo or whatever multiplayer game you like tournament going.
music is big in college, so go and learn more.
and on that note LEARN MORE. video games are a lazy hobby, which implies youd probably like other things if you actually gave em a chance. so why not do that? go to meetup.com or look at college clubs and see what you can sit in on and learn something new. no one minds a newbie showing up saying 'i never really tried XX but ive always been interested. where do i begin?'
Ayyy alexisonfire
>>16996260
>Go to meetup.com
>Accidently type neetup.com
It's a sign anon.
>>16996269
made me kek tho
>>16996272
But yeah, this website could be life changing for me. I've legitmately never heard of it before, but I really wish I have sooner
>>16996284
its fun, just remember to keep putting yourself out there. the world is filled with negative people, but what they say or thinkg wont matter in 24 hours from now and you never have to see them again. so why worry about those people?
always focus on good connections. if there is a scoring system for life its the number of good interactions, the negative ones dont factor at all.
>>16996223
>>16996260
Not OP but you seem like a fascinating person, anon. I'd like to pick your brain a bit about this subject.
Here's a for-instance. I enjoy comics, so I go to a local comic store. I'm not an enormous comic buff though, so it might be hard for me to keep up a conversation about the newest releases or what have you. Add to this the fact that most people at a comic shop are either browsing or reading something, how do I start a conversation with them without intruding on their business?
That's my main issue I think, starting a conversation with a stranger always feels like I'm intruding. What's your strategy?
>>16996308
>starting a conversation with a stranger always feels like I'm intruding.
OP here, this has always been my biggest issue as well.
>>16996308
I wish i could drop some wisdom on you, but the truth is i just dont care about intruding. if they dont want to be intruded on, they'd make it known, and its really a 'no harm no foul' type situation. especially in a nerd shop its going to just be a guy looking back to his comic and you awkwardly awkwarding off in your own direction.
the best approach is to get people when they are just shuffling through comics before they start a reading process. it depends what section you are in but the worst case scenario you can just say
>lookin for anything specific?
they will likely say
>yeah im trying to find (For example) the latest batman issue
if you know anything about batman you'll at least say
>arent there like 6 different batmans running right now?
and they'll say yeah, and elaborate. if you dont you just say
>im more of a marvel fan myself, but ive been wanting to get into DC because of how much grittier it seems to get. i just dont know where to start.
obviously the conversation can go a million directions, so just gauge it. remember that they are just like you, nerds in a shop reading about super heroes.
and a final note on the intruding consider this:
>they are going to a shop to read comics
>not necessarilly to buy them, which means they aren there to 'support local business'
>yet this is something they could do for free at their home home since they will obviously be tech savvy
>which would appeal to the geek 'neet' sensibilities
>so why are they here?
they are there to interact, to some degree. or at the very least, be out of the house. wanting to talk about comics is not an 'intrusion' for someone who goes to a comic shop adn just hangs out. most people have more fun telling you why their interests are amazing than it is to partake in them (especially after so many years).
you might feel like there is a learning curve, but thats okay. feel free to ask questions, and follow up questions, and compare it to what little you do know.
>>16996308
>>16996318
>>16996335
wish i could offer more advice but at the end of the day whether you are at the comic store, or just the horror movie aisle of walmart or whatever, keep in mind that 'intruding' is not illegal. the worst case scenario is they get what they are looking for and go back to their business, and in 5 minutes forget you ever existed.
theres no risk.
>>16996335
>>16996339
Well, point taken. We'll see whether I've got the guts to actually approach people and put it into action.
Thanks for your help.
>>16997335
no problem m80. wish i could have been more help, but hope you get out there.
if you do go to the comic book store, ask about events. the one near me has them almost every single night
