I am at university and am studying a fairly 'girl-centric' subject. Good looking girls are a fairly common sight in my everyday life.
But for some reason non of them are memorable to me.
I constantly hang around with guy friends who talk about the hot chicks in our course.
Many of the girls are indeed (very) good looking and/or bangable.
Yet to me they seem very samey...
>This has gotten so bad that I have genuine problems remembering girls' faces and names, even for ones i see daily.
I have been looking for a girl friend for quite some time. But I hardly ever meet any girls I feel a connection to / find even mildly interesting.
I am not looking for some hyper edgy chick, just somebody who can hold my genuine interest for more than a few minutes.
Looking back, I have only had the feeling 'of genuine interest' (not even chemistry) about 5 times in my entire life.
This is really somewhat confusing, as I am in the age to actually have a gf.
When I talk for close friends about this, they mostly don't get what I mean or shrug it off.
>I'll meet somebody some day.
Family is sometimes joking about whether I am actually gay.
>Which I surely am not.
>>16988464
>I am at university
Not a good sign.
>But for some reason non of them are memorable to me.
It's only natural. You live in a society that thinks vomiting after drinking your ass off is a good thing, and success is measured in likes, and girls are fairly way more fragile to those aspects.
Don't bother with having a gf; rushing to find those things never lead to good shit anyway.
OK first of all, you seem to have the /r9gay/ disease of "I refuse to recognise and treat other women as individual human beings". You literally outlined in your OP post about how you are objectifying women, and since you do not have an urgent need to utilise said women-objects, you write them off mentally. You know, walking down a grocery store aisle, I do take note that all the cereals are beautifully packaged and flavoured, then I cannot even remember which cereal boxes I saw if I didn't need cereal either.
Except these people are your classmates and people you will be working together with throughout your uni life, not fucking boxes of cereal.
Only redpill autists would say something along the lines of 'if there's no fucking afoot, I'll cut contact'. You've literally put yourself in a socially stunted situation where you've shut yourself out of 50% of the global population, and possibly an even higher percentage applicable within your course.
Go out, introduce yourself, make friends with these people who happen to have attractive physical features. When you recognise them and accept them as individuals, the names will come to you naturally. Stop reading into bullshit about "friendzoning" and how women are something to be obtained.
>>16988464
Honestly, you sound boring as fuck OP. What the fuck can you bring to the table to get a girl? What's so interesting about you? Are you just gonna complain on 4chan boards all day or do something interesting to get someone to notice you?
>just somebody who can hold my genuine interest for more than a few minutes
It's gonna be a whole lifetime with someone. Pull your head out of your ass and be the change you want to be. Clean up yourself, take a shower, get the fuck off these boards, and do something interesting with your life for YOU. Someone is bound to find that attractive.
>>16988474
>vomiting, getting shitfaced
This is very rare in my course, as i the course is very time demanding and the club-infrastructure in the town is not very good.
>>16988485
>objectification
This is a point often levelled at me by quite a few people.
Yet it is something I have never understood.
>I am considered very polite to women
>Have no problem with women whatsover (not a femnazi, but i doubt one has to be)
>Talk to them normally
>Hang around them like any other person.
>Good listener
Yet some people have pointed out that I tend to use terms like 'she/her/them' more than others. But this is not limited to women.
I do understand how this can be considered 'de-humanising' but I never got the problem with it.
>>16988492
I am a very well travelled individual with many interests.
>Whatever the interest, I normally have at least a basic understanding about it.
From physics over psychology to fashion design, art and interior design- I can initiate and keep up a conversation about virtually everything.
When I sense a topic of interest, I can steer the conversation in that direction without any issues.
>shower, clean up.
I consider myself a very considered dresser and do get a lot of compliments for my sense of style. I am not ottermode, but have knowledge about a great number of brands, fragrances etc.
>i take very good care of myself so that is not the issue.
>I don't have money problems
>Avid bungee jumper
>I personally don't consider myself boring
>>16988588
Then why the fuck are you on this board if ur a pretentious cuck that "knows it all"?
you claim to be all these things and be a know it all.
Try finding some golddiggers or escorts to make you happy with your well traveled life
>>16988485
Shut the fuck up turd.
OP women are predictable lizards who want to be ravaged and inseminated by masculine alpha male. Nothing else people tell you will matter.
Start eating meat, squat, get a tinder and listen to the most misogynyst rap you can find on a daily basis. When you have sex-positive liberals choking on your cock remember this post and you can thank me then.
/thread
>>16988464
Hot girls are generally boring because there's no need for them to have a personality.
Just by being pretty they can get all kinds of attention and special treatment. Hundreds of guys will pretend to care about their stupid problems and they can string them along in the friendzone. Teachers and bosses will let them get away with shit and hold them to lower expectations. Hot guys will line up in a queue and they can have whatever dick they want. Why bother learning how to hold a conversation, all they have to do is eat a salad and wear yoga pants and they can get whatever the hell they want.
From experience I can tell you that a fat / ugly girl who actually loves you is a much better fuck than some hot girl you don't care about. Find some lumpy freshman girl and you'll actually be happy.
>>16988617
>>16988629
I very much doubt it as my 3 rules are
>Don't talk about religion
>Don't talk about politics
>Don't talk about money
I have many interests and travel a lot. What is wrong with that if you only bring it up to express mutual interest?
>Oh I see you like.
>Therefore I will talk with you about your interest.
What is wrong with that?
>She has been to India
>Oh which part? How did you like it?
>....
>She likes books
>What kinds of books?
>She reads X.
>Have heard of X, but never read it. How is his writing?
>You like getting shitfaced?
>How you tried Belvedere? Shit is fucking awesome, goes down like water.
You're gay mate
>>16988657
I have found that the girls I feel something for are mostly not amazingly good looking anyway.
They tend to have more of a subtle charm.
Your pic has some serious facial symmetry. An evolutionary goldmine.
>>16988676
Wat mate?
>>16988675
Nope.
>>16988677
Looks are really not that important. You're conditioned to think so because you're young and single and your only sexual release is porn which is based entirely on looks since obviously some bangbros actress can't have a good time out on the town with you.
But in the end caring about looks will only lead to disappointment, this is why all day every day everyone on /adv/ is yelling at everyone else to lower their standards.
>>16988683
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
the fact taht you don't get it only proves my point m8
Fuck you. I'm at university, have been studying a degree where the majority are women, I'm pretty good looking, and I'm still a virgin.
It's not I don't like any of them. It's just I'm evidently fucked up.
>>16988700
>Fuck you I'm still a virgin
>I'm Rico Suave of men
>>16988688
>>16988688
Well I just did say that physical looks aren't very important imo anyway.
I'd take a slightly eccentric good girl over a hot bimbo any day of the week
>>16988689
If you don't intend to explain yourself then gtfo
>>16988700
don't see your problem, mate
>>16988688
>Lower standards
Or insidious women telling beta males to play nice and stay in their lane while Chad gets to fuck and cuck who he pleases. WhiteKnight shills like you are the fucking problem. Never post here again.
m8 women really aren't that interesting. You think any guy on earth wants to go shoe shopping, or sit through romantic comedies, or listen to her bitch about what her friends are saying on twitter? No, no one fucking cares, but we put up with it.
Your fantasy qt nerdy waifu princess exists yeah, there's girls out there who love games and would be happy to go see star wars in theaters 4 times, but guess what, EVERY guy wants her and so why would she take you? She's fucking chad.
>>16988716
what's there to explain. It's not like you're going to get it. It's not like you're even paying attention to anyone in this thread. All I see is you trying to explain yourself but every time you do, it's LOADS of excuses and you keep talking outward rather than inner.
You want me to spell it out for your pretentious brain sweetie?
Y
O
U
A
R
E
T
H
E
P
R
O
B
L
E
M
>>16988719
>i'll stay single instead of dating a fat girl, I DESERVE a hotgirl
>Looking back, I have only had the feeling 'of genuine interest' (not even chemistry) about 5 times in my entire life.
Lucky, i've only had that once. and as such, only have been with one girl.
what are you attracted to, personality wise? deviance?
>>16988708
I have plenty of success on tinder and get good rates on /soc/ - inb4 meme, relative to others' rates. I'm not super handsome but I know I look pretty good. Contrary to what you might think, being handsome doesn't get you pussy or gf if you're a fucking weirdo like myself
.>>16988716
everyone talks about sex and relationships in college like it's an extremely common sight and a piece of cake
I feel like there's something significantly wrong with me
+ I'm a man, it's not like I don't desire those cuties I see
>>16988588
You sound kinda stiff dude. Dunno how to help you with that.
But yeah I think I've been guilty of objectifying women and wanting to put them on a pedestal. Try to talk to people and take a genuine interest in them as friends, without any expectations.
>>16988742
>i cant find a girl I love, so I'll settle and manipulate a girl that loves me and cheat on her as soon as I find someone else
>>16988732
That is the thing.
I am not looking for a gamer/nerdy/star wars quoting waifu.
I don't have an issue with shopping or romantic movies whatsover. I like them myself.
I feel that girl who appreciates those things is not a tall order.
>>16988740
Chill man.
So what do you suggest?
Becoming a sweaty, oil drinking, super male who eats bricks for breakfast?
Or
Becoming a anime fapping cave dweller like you?
Please take you jealousy elsewhere. Thanks.
>>16988742
Lol I get laid fairly often and have dated really fit attractive girls I'm not OP.
But they're all the same if you're tall fit and handsome you could sit all day playing xbox with 0 hobbies and stupid sluts will convince themselves that you're interesting. This holds true for all women, nerds, blonde bimbos, mothers, wives, girlfriends (not mine ;) ).
After you raw dog taken women and whip feminists with rape fetishes for long enough you'll realize it too beta boy but imo you'd be better off gargling my balls.
>>16988742
Men can improve themselves to get the hot girl if they try hard enough especially with age approaching 30s if you do it right.
Women on the other hand start to shrivel up and pack on baggage if they don't snag a husband by like 25-26.
There's hope for OP maybe you should fuck off and take your bullshit "advice" somewhere else
>>16988748
I would not really even call them infatuations. The girls stays on your mind for the next 2 weeks and then goes away. For me its like a flu.
>>16988758
Yeah, I am not the smoothest guys around.
I feel that smoothness is very hard (even impossible to learn).
But again I am not a cave dwelling autist.
>Putting them on a pedestal
Not the first time I am hearing that. But most people cannot explain what they mean.
I mean girls are not men, I would never treat girls hardly know the same way I treat my potsmoker-bro.
Would this then mean that everything you do with your bro should be done as well with girls, as to not seem sexist, objectifying?
I really don't understand the world in this respect.
>As friends.
I have many female friends, it is not like I am a disingenuous conman whenever I am with girls. I mostly don't find them gf material anyway, so there is no reason to.
Probably because all white girls all look the same. White people in general, for that matter
>>16988828
That can be said of any race or gender.
In the end it isn't about looks, it is about 'feeling' a connection.
And that is something beyond physicalities
>>16988775
Projections are a hell of a thing eh m8?
Interesting how you still don't get it but manage to try to insult me. Has nothing to do with jealousy, you're so full of yourself you can do no wrong right? You can't even think of a better stereotype? that's it?
I'm not suggesting any of that shit. I'm telling you that you have a cloud over your eyes on how things really work in the real world. Look, I get it. You're still a kid. You're still young. You've seen and experienced it all but all of that doesn't mean shit if you don't even know what you're searching for inwards.
I'm sure your a good looking guy. I'm not going to knock that. But your attitude and outlook on women is super skewed dude. Plenty of people have told you some sound advice in this thread to digest. You're not going to get it right away. Take some screenshots and visit it all later.
You have a very "pussy on the pedestal" outlook. You need to stop with that shit. Women are normal people that happen to have boobs and menstruate.
You say you have been looking for a girlfriend but you hardly meet any girls you feel a connection towards..
Maybe you're a sociopath. Maybe you have undiagnosed mental issues that block the ability to think of others or to care.
I'm just throwing it all out there cause I don't know anything about you other than what you're writing about yourself. It's not coming off great for the both of us, two wrongs don't make a right.
Answer me this though. Have you ever gotten laid? I'm asking cause if that's the case. It's still you. Not them. That was the whole point I was making. You need to bring something to the table to make girls want to be around you. If this is all pent up, "I'm a virgin, woe is me, why don't girls like me" talk, then I might be more understanding.
You hyped yourself up as this big hot shot everytime you rebuttal. World travels, can carry a conversation, have style; your on this board for a reason but I think it's for all the wrong ones.
>>16988788
OP is in his first year of college so what to do in your late 20s doesn't even apply to him.
Besides why would you want to "improve enough for a hot girl". I don't want some used up slut who's going to divorce me, I'll take some chubby sweetheart who will take care of me any day.
>>16988588
you sound like such a fucking faggot dude, this is the least surprising thread in the history of 4chan.
>Yet some people have pointed out that I tend to use terms like 'she/her/them' more than others. But this is not limited to women.
I do understand how this can be considered 'de-humanising' but I never got the problem with it.
don't worry about stupid shit like this you wimp
>>16988892
That chubby sweetheart has the capacity to be a cheating cunt like the blonde slut all women are like that
>>16988844
>That can be said of any race or gender.
I know it can. You just never hear of people saying that all white people look the same, but they do
>In the end it isn't about looks, it is about 'feeling' a connection.
Maybe the fact that they all look the same makes you think they're all the same otherwise
>>16988827
>Would this then mean that everything you do with your bro should be done as well with girls, as to not seem sexist, objectifying?
no you stupid fuck, you SHOULD be sexist and objectifying, but not like youre doing it. not putting them on a pedestal means don't treat them with more interest/sense of importance than you would anyone else, actually you should give them less
>>16988857
>Don't know how life works
Well I think that is a given as a university student. 'Insight into 'real' life' (whatever older people mean by that) is something one gets over time. Not anything one can do about it.
>attitude toward women is skewed
Well I have been thinking about that for literally years. But still don't understand the underlying issue people seem to have. You walk past hundreds of people daily, you do not remember them all do you? They are just 'people i happen to walk by', that is completely natural.
It is the same thing with girls and boys, people who do not catch you interest or are already close to you, you won't remember and put into the 'people I subconsciously registered' category.
I cannot fathom how people make this out to be
>objectifying
>sexist
>Put women on pedestal
As said above (>>16988827) I still don't understand this metaphor people like to use.
>May it would help what makes you think that of me, based on what I wrote.
>Gotten laid.
No I haven't.
>sociopath
No I am not, simply based on the fact that i can feel genuine sadness and empathy towards people.
>Hype yourself up
I do not feel that it is necessarily hyping, it is just a fact. I travel. I read about many different topics and have met a very wide array of very different people in my (short) life.
I am not perfect and never think myself to be, nobody is. Sorry if it looks that way.
I just would like to point out that unlike many here asking similar questions, I don't have the issue of bad hygiene and/or autistic one-track mind.
>>16988917
>sense of importance
What sense of importance? As I said in my OP post, I rarely find girls worth 'putting on a pedestal' anyway, so what is your point?
>>16988952
I know we've been going back and forth with each other and it's been heated. I know 4chan has a habit of throwing out insults but if all that's true man, I honestly think you may have asperger's. Everything you're describing is seriously part of the condition.
I'm not even trying to insult you or make fun of you at this point. I really think that may be the case or something similar.
>>16988902
so what's your game, Mr awesome?
>>16988974
>asperger's
Well just read 150 pages worth of asperger/autism studies from Baron-Cohen et al. for class.
>No I am not a sperg., you don't need to worry.
Where does that assumption / 'worry' come from?
>>16988993
Claiming youre not autistic because you've read hundreds of academic studies about the subject is a highly autistic thing to say, desu.
Just fuck off dude. From the way you are talking here it is abundantly obvious why you have the problems in life you do, and since you are incapable/unwilling to understand it, its never going to get better.
>>16988917
Also
>standing around and talking to each other talking about
>dat ass
>dem boobz
is not objectifying, but
>not treating them the same way you would a guy friend apparently is?
Weird world we live in.
>>16988993
> just read 150 pages worth of asperger/autism studies
doesn't matter if it's for class. You still keep boasting as this "know it all" you have an answer for EVERYTHING. You have been responding to everyone, breaking down what they are saying but you're not listening to any of us. Not the ones who are insulting you or being sarcastic. But the 7 other people who have been giving you some extremely sound advice. I get that you want to clear up things and take the time to respond but dude, you're not helping your own argument. which, In all honestly, I'm not even sure you really asked a question in the first place. You just came on here complaining. You have an excuse for everything.
But you're not listening to any of us.
I don't think you understand the concept of its you. Not them.
>>16989002
Well excuse me for being a university student with academic obligations in the field.
Well apparently is willing/capable of explaining your point in an understandable manner, just throwing buzzwords around like:
>pedestal
>objectification
Sorry for not being able to read your mind anon.
>>16988827
>The girls stays on your mind for the next 2 weeks and then goes away. For me its like a flu.
Oh... that's sad.
>>16989007
yes talking about dat ass is objectifying, and theres nothing wrong with that. Do you actually believe women want men who care about who they are objectifying?
>>16989015
Ok anon, I feel I have something to clear up here.
My original question was about why I so rarely feel a connection towards the many girls around me, while most people I know are falling in love left and right.
I do not claim to be extremely smart or know everything. If i were I wouldn't be asking.
I am just trying to explain my situation. I apologise if what I wrote painted me as an arrogant and egocentric twat.
I assure you I am not. And i again apologise.
I break down the comments in order to understand, as I feel that most of the things given to me here is not 'straight-forward' advice. it is mostly people telling me to 'stop' hyping myself and/or fuck myself. To me that is not very constructive advice desu.
Friends and family I have talked to about this have confronted me with the terms
>objectification
>pedestal
I am very surprised to hear similar terms from anons on 4chan who don't even know me.
But on the other hand I have never understood what people meant by that.
I personally do not feel that I see women as objects to be fawned over and I do not understand what part of what i said gave many of you that impression.
Many people (also you guys) are throwing that word around and saying that
>well it is just like that, we cannot explain it man.
That very much frustrates me, who is trying to understand what you guys mean in order to improve upon that point.
I kindly ask you guys if you could help explain the
>objectification theme
which seems to be at the heart of my original question.
Thank you.
>>16989066
basically, stop worrying about this whole issue. if you don't meet girls you like, then you don't meet girls you like. and newsflash, you don't need to be interested in a girl in order to date her
>>16989066
In order to clarify even more:
The original question also came from my personal experience of often forgetting girls' names or faces and rarely ever meeting girl who genuinely appeal to me. Making them finally all seem very samey.
Something other guys not seem to have any issues with.
>>16989079
I have genuinely tried not caring, thinking that well one day it will happen.
But I feel that is not the correct attitude to take considering people tend to actually point out something I could improve.
Dating without interest would for me be more objectifying, as you would invest (time and money) into a girl to get sex out of her ( like a vending machine). Not something I am hugely eager to do.
>>16989107
LOL your one-track obsession with objectifying is textbook autism.
Damn, so much negativity and bullshit in this thread, you'd think we're on /r9k/
