Talk to her about it

>>16962871
>What the fuck do I do?
You have to talk to her about it and let her know that you're reaching a breaking point. Which, it seems, you've already done. But her apologizing isn't going to fix the fact that she's not giving her 50% to the relationship. So now you're at the point where you need to decide if you want things to continue as they have been, or if you want someone that will treat you like they genuinely want you in their life.

Also, the free oral isn't doing you any favors. Always get yours first, if she's the selfish type.

Uh, firstly, break up. You're cheating on your girlfriend and you're being an asshole. There's a reason she's not interested in sex with you suddenly, and something must have happened to her sex drive. Have you communicated about her lack of lust before you started to meet up with random girls from Tinder? If you feel so much resentment towards your partner you can justify cheating, don't be in a relationship with them anymore. Telling her that you craved the intimacy and couldn't last being in a sexless relationship, thereby creating an ultimatum and expressing your feelings, would have been better than to start sleeping around. If she starts to want to have sex again at some point, would you really want to continue the relationship, knowing that you cheated? How would you feel if you found out she didn't satisfy you and she's been fucking guys off Tinder? Break it off and grow up.

Also is that a picture of Elias from Iceage lmao? I went to school with him, guy is pretty hot but seemed borderline retarded.

>>16962885

> So now you're at the point where you need to decide if you want things to continue as they have been.

Yeah, I don't see how that's possible when he's arranging Tinder dates to make out with random women (pretty sure they would feel pretty deceived too if they found out he was in a relationship) and planning on having sex with someone next week.

>Also, the free oral isn't doing you any favors. Always get yours first, if she's the selfish type.

IDK man, it's not something-for-something. Oral sex isn't good if it's a chore or "you gave me some!", oral is only awesome if your partner is into it. My partners have always said my blowjobs are awesome because I want to do it and I'm crazy enthusiastic about it, not sure they'd feel the same if I did it to get off myself afterwards. IDK I just think it's a gross perspective on sex if you're in a relationship.

Something must be wrong with the relationship or her libido, when you're in love, you wanna get your partner off ALL THE TIME unless you're asexual (in my experience). They did use to have sex constantly too, so I doubt it's about being selfish - there's probably a reason why her libido suddenly dropped so rapidly, no? It can happen to men too.

If a girl was in here talking about her man being stressed at work and not eating her out enough, so she found some dudes to fuck on Tinder, not even feeling slightly bad about it, I'm pretty sure the replies wouldn't be "sounds like a selfish guy/now you must decide if you want to continue the relationship or break up/find someone who deserves you!"

>>16962896

I have communicated at least three times that I need physical intimacy to feel wanted and that I'm reaching a breaking point. Every time I tell her she just says "I'm sorry."

I just texted her I feel disconsolate and she just said the exact same thing. "I'm sorry love"

She doesn't give a fuck about whether I feel happy and satisfied in our relationship, only that she does. I feel like her servant, and I'm just waiting for her to throw me some crumbs.

>>16962900
Just break up with her, it sounds like the passion is gone for her. Now she just stays with you because she's gotten complacent and it's what she knows.

>>16962871
>She washed it and then stepped out of the shower
lol if I were her I'd stop touching this filthy thing too

It's already over. She's refusing to please you. You're cheating on her. There is nothing left here worth salvaging, and even if there was, both of you have already demonstrated that you don't truly care enough to.

Break up now.

>>16962903
You're totally right but it's hard to just ditch a relationship of four years. Today she was talking about things we'll do when we get married, have a house, etc. I love her and I don't want to leave, I just want to feel like she loves me too. I can't get that feeling from her words, I need to have sex.

>>16962904
The thing is I constantly make sure I'm clean and well groomed just in case the mood arises. It never does, it's always a waste of time shaving my balls.

Not sure what else I can do or say to her. It feels like my only way to stay in this relationship is to get sexual satisfaction from other women, and mental satisfaction from her.

>>16962900

Have you talked about WHY she suddenly wasn't interested in sex anymore? If you used to have sex constantly, haven't you thought there might be a reason she isn't into it anymore? You speak of yourself feeling neglected constantly, but it doesn't seem that her feelings have been taken into consideration at any point. I doubt she one day decided to just not want to please you sexually anymore.

Anyway, I'll never understand why you'd cheat instead of simply breaking it off, it's such an asshole move. Grow up and get out of the relationship, too late to do anything else.

>>16962910


Not sure what else I can do or say to her. It feels like my only way to stay in this relationship is to get sexual satisfaction from other women, and mental satisfaction from her.

That's not fair. Would you be okay with continuing the relationship if she felt the same about you? What if she felt dissatisfied with your sex life, which is why she's never in the mood now - because she's getting it from somewhere else? What if you got married and bought a house, and found out she's been cheating on you? (It would make you deserve each other, sure, but that's not okay).

Break it off, don't deceive her and ruin her life.

>>16962910
>It's hard to ditch a relationship of 4 years
yes, because you've both gone complacent. You're not in love, you're just used to the way things are and reluctant to leave because you're unsure. You're going through the motions, man. Free yourself and leave.

Go to the gym, build some muscle/lose some weight or both, depending on what you need. Pick up some interesting hobbies. Do some other shit that interests you. At the very least, it'll come in handy when you dump/get dumped by her and want a new girl.

>>16962910
Are you crazy? If you feel this way now how could you possibly have a happy marriage? You should definitely throw away four years to save the REST OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE.

>>16962898
That's why I'm kind of pushing him to break up without actually saying, "You're a piece of shit, you're a cheat and a terrible person, everything is terrible, bla bla bla." People don't respond well to that. Instead, you have to gently remind them why it will not work and why it's over, then lead them to the conclusion.

>Yeah, I don't see how that's possible when he's arranging Tinder dates to make out with random women (pretty sure they would feel pretty deceived too if they found out he was in a relationship) and planning on having sex with someone next week.
"Continue as they have been" meaning that he can choose to stay miserable, and sleeping with random women will only make his feelings of loneliness worse until he can't take it anymore. I thought it was pretty clear.

>IDK man, it's not something-for-something. Oral sex isn't good if it's a chore or "you gave me some!", oral is only awesome if your partner is into it.
Sure. But if her sex drive is low, and he's causing her to orgasm through oral, he's wasting what little sex drive she does have.

>I'm pretty sure the replies wouldn't be "sounds like a selfish guy/now you must decide if you want to continue the relationship or break up/find someone who deserves you!"
How long have you been here, and do you actually pay attention to threads like that? Because there are always people in those threads doing just that, myself included.

>>16962924
I know that sounds like it should be easy but our lives literally revolve around each other. We have tight bonds with each others family, we've known each other since first grade, we've both had the best sex of our lives with each other. We've been through a lot together.

I really don't want to break it off but every time I feel like her sex drive is coming back, it goes away again. One day of wanting sex leads to months of asexuality.

She told me she just doesn't have any urge to have sex anymore. Not just me, but she doesn't view sex as an important thing to her anymore. She is a full time student and works ten hour shifts at her job on the weekends, so she always has something on her plate she would rather do than have sex.

I'm not complacent. I still feel for her as much as I did four years ago. She's been pretty apathetic to me lately. She just got back from visiting her girlfriend at her college for a week. She was sending me lots of photos, sending me "I miss you" "can't wait for you to hold me" "I need a kiss" etc texts. When she got home she hopped into bed with me, gave me one kiss, then said okay let's go for a hike.

That really hurt. It felt like she was faking missing me. I was expecting her to lay in bed with me for hours just enjoying the company of being back together. Nope.

>>16962925
Ha last year since I had sex only a handful of times with her, I did all these things.

I got really good at playing guitar, I made new friends, I finished school, I got in great shape.

None of it seemed to do anything for her. One time she was giving me a back massage and she told me I had really nice defined arms. That's about it. Once in a while she'll tell me that she can tell I've been working out a lot, but it's like a friendly compliment. There's no attraction behind it.

>>16962935
It doesn't sound like she wants you romantically anymore, but she's too afraid to leave. You'd be better off as friends.

>>16962949
Then why does she kiss me and tell me she wants to get married?

The emotions my mind is feeling don't match up with the lack of stimulation in my dick.

It's causing me to feel tethered to her.

She just got back from her week long trip and today I thought we were going to spend the night together alone, but her girlfriend invited her to go out to a bar and she ditched me to go hang with her. She said she we would meet up after but she texted me an hour ago saying she's going to stay at her girlfriend's house.

I feel so rejected. My expectation of her coming home was that she would be super excited to see me, but it seemed like she didn't feel like she missed me at all. She was just like "Hello *Kiss* okay let's go run errands then I'm going out with my friends."

I'm starting to really feel justified in cheating on her. I feel like she's toying with me and she doesn't care.

>>16962980
You both suck at relationships. I can't believe you managed 4 years honestly.

Birth control messes with women hormonally, and messing with the hormones changes her level of attraction to different types of men.

Women mating behavior is dualistic, so BC probably kept signalling to her that she should date a person who is stable and secure.

Now that she is off it, she is probably more sexually attracted to masculine figures.

It sucks, but thats life.

You need to start becoming more masculine OP.

OP, you're a dummy. Everything is all "whine whine whine, I'm so unhappy, but I'm going to stay in this situation". So basically you're just here to whine and maybe to hope someone will reassure you that you're justified in being a shit person.

If you want to stay in a relationship with her, your crappy behavior is going to eventually destroy it.

Just be honest with her: "hey, if you're not going to have sex with me, I'm going to find someone else to have sex with. We can have an open relationship or you can break up with me."

Then you can go fuck other people to your hearts' content without being a dishonest shitbag (and so can she).

Most girls are useless in bed imo. They'd make men do everything if thet could get away with it. I would quit with the oral and just take what you need from her qt ass. She'll quickly follow suit.