I'm in a bit of a conundrum.
I finally got some freedom from my parents so I'm more able to do things with people in my age group.
The problem is I'm not really sure where I stand at the moment, socially and with women.
I have a long history of being awkward and anxiety ridden in High School, and I've successfully gotten over most of my issues now.
I have a few friends and we're pretty cool, I go out like every other weekend, I'm okay looking and pretty social.
The thing is I dunno if I'm doing enough I guess. I feel like maybe I should go to more parties so I can interact with more people and more girls because I'm finally in a position to do so!
I guess I'm stuck inbetween my past as a nerd and the options I now have available to me. Even though I'm meeting an enormous amount of people everyday and I'm more confident and social, I feel like it's 50% not real and it's 50% not gonna last, either because this last few weeks and months have been a fluke, or I'll do something to fuck it up like I've done in the past.
I still remember people talking about how weird I am and girls being turned off by me, and now I'm out talking to men and women alike and going to parties and it's a huge cognitive dissonance.
Any tips or advice for me?
Bump
Just one last bump. Gonna go watch a film.
>>16958675
Are you familiar with the term, "You can't please everyone."? It really is the nature of our social lives. Those who come to understand and abide by it are content with who they are and how they behave, as they've pleased the only opinion that matters. Their own.
Sometimes we're not content with ourselves, however. Self realization of how we present ourselves can cause discomfort. People perform self-audits and reajust their ways of life to help themselves overcome. Similar to what you've done.
Ask yourself now, "Am I cool with where I'm at?". If you feel any hesitation keeping you from honestly believing "yes", time to make an adjustment.
If you need to make an adjustment, try different things. Go to more parties. Talk to more people. The key is to continue introducing healthy dynamics into your life that have made you feel improved in the past. If you still feel the same, or worse, try something else. It's up to you to find out what will and won't work unfortunately.
Don't focus on trying to make everyone your friend though. Life really isn't about getting the social approval of everyone. You need to be on good terms with yourself above all.
>>16958675
sorry I don't have any advice since I'm probably socially behind you but how do you find parties? ive graduated college a year ago so i might not even be in the same age group
>>16959143
I went to some punk rock/hardcore shows that were thrown by some high schoolers (I'm a freshman in college). Met some other graduates, college students and shit, had a great time.
I wouldn't have gone because of the age difference and thought it was weird, but places like that have great environments for meeting others.
I was completely okay with striking up potentially awkward conversations with former classmates as well
