Do you ever meet someone who is so much of a "somebody" that it reminds you of when you were one, and you can't help but be immensely envious of them and how they managed to not fuck up and get sucked into soulless NPCdom?
Is it not too late to stop being an NPC, or is being a real individual something that is innate, cannot be given, but can be taken away?
This isn't an existential crisis in the broader sense. I guess it's more of an identity crisis. Like, things could have been okay but I bought into the idea that they couldn't and allowed it to dominate me.
I know the proper course of action is to take a stance where you respect their individuality instead of pretending like it exists only to remind you of what you've lost, go you for being you! And me for being me! But, when there is no "me", that's a little difficult
I feel like a ghost trapped in Hades, clawing at the new meat, desperate to feel its warmth.
It's not too late. I sort of get what you're feeling, but at the same time it's not my situation.
Actually, you remind me of someone I loved. I was showing him a cool chemistry demonstration in my shitty home lab and he got all quiet and teary. He said "You're so special." I asked him what he meant and it kinda sounded like what you're describing. He was only 22, but he said he felt like he was in the winter of his life somehow. I tried to convince him otherwise but, you know how it is, people can't fix people.
Anyway, he killed himself.
But there is a "you" it's hard for you to see it right now but there is. You understand you bought into an idea that isn't really true. It's not too late. Not for anyone still breathing.
>>16955520
>Actually, you remind me of someone I love
>Anyway, he killed himself
Well that's fucking depressing
a phoenix is reborn from the ashes of it's former self.
some people try and fight when their life is swirling around the toilet bowl. if they'd just let go they would make it through the sewer to the treatment plant and be clean drinking water all that much sooner.
Say goodbye to your old life, and start anew.
Don't hold onto anything. Worldly possessions only weigh you down. Burn it all.
Jesus didn't have a castle, or a big screen tv. He didn't take crap from the money changers
He got a band together and went on tour
and people worshiped him. He said fuck my dad's book, here's a new testament bitches.
You too can be resurrected, you just have to get stoned, and crucified first.
>>16955501
You said a couple of times that you were a PC once, but aren't anymore. What happened? What made you a PC, and why did you stop?
>>16955632
>a phoenix is reborn from the ashes of it's former self. some people try and fight when their life is swirling around the toilet bowl. if they'd just let go they would make it through the sewer to the treatment plant and be clean drinking water all that much sooner.
This fucking analogy, though.
I need to do this, I keep holding on to my stupid ideals, dreams, nostalgic feelings, etc, and it's hard to improve yourself this way. Probably should abandon all that shit but my ego is like "who am I without all this baggage? Nobody! Aaah! I'm scared!!!"
