>>16952723
Tell her no when she asks you out.

That kinda shit is redic.
I don't keep men as a backup plan- it implies a dependency.
Never be someone's second choice- they'll always leave you if they find someone who they think is better

>I think a woman I love
what makes you think you love her? what do you like about her? anything that makes her special? How can you "love" someone who's doing something you absolutely disaprove of like keeping a backupguy.

>>16952735

I still think about her all the time :P

My chest gets tight when she speaks to me, I get nervous when she's still around. It sucks.

She got super ultra pissed when I deleted her off all my social media. It didn't matter that I told her I needed space. She started showing up at my job more to see me, wearing sexy shit despite dating him because she obviously cared about me but fucked it up with me.

The thing is. I still feel that way towards her. That I would do mostly anything for her.

I'm just terrified I won't have the resolve to reject her when she breaks up with this guy.

i feel like i'm my bf 2nd choice :(( he told me about this girl that denied him and he sounded so so so sad and hurt. when he talked about her bf he also sounded angry. i wish he hadn't told me.. now i can't stop thinking that he's still into her and just didn't want to be alone... he used to see her almost everday.. they were close friends and now he just wants to see me once (!!) a week.. i think i bore him and he realized he's not that into me ...

so that feeling sucks... deny her.. never be anyone's no.2

>>16952735

And I don't know. I just keep seeing past all her flaws like I have blinders on...

also my bf told me that this friend thought about leaving her bf for him.. so he was basically her backup plan as well... it sucks.

>She got super ultra pissed when I deleted her off all my social media. It didn't matter that I told her I needed space. She started showing up at my job more to see me, wearing sexy shit despite dating him because she obviously cared about me but fucked it up with me.
sounds like a manipulative crazy person, doesn't sound like a keeper at all.

>>16952749
probably cause you've got some idolized version of her in your head. Or because deep down you feel like her sex is worth throwing your dignity and standards out for.

>I'm just terrified I won't have the resolve to reject her when she breaks up with this guy.
you're not compatible with her now and if the guy falls away you're probably still not compatible and she'll dump you the second a better guy comes along. you can use the opportunity for sex if you feel it's worth it, but you are a warned man.

>>16952768

It just doesn't seem right, you know? Our chemistry is fire, I can make her laugh more than anyone else in the planet. Each of the times we went out together we would talk for hours about everything.

Then she drifted away and went back to her ex. We tried to maintain a friendship but we couldn't, and that really pissed her off.

Oh to this day there are still a couple girls out there who are sure that I'm the safe provider who will come running when they decide to fall back on me.

It's not going to "turn out." It's laughably pathetic. I'm too busy being involved with women who actually appreciate and admire me, not my wallet.

19/f. it's become abundantly clear that I'm my ex's backup choice if he gets tired of single life and has a dry spell with the girls. shitty part is he knows I still love him so I'd have a really hard time saying no

>>16952723
Femanon here.
I haven't been anyone's backup plan, as far as I know, but my current bf has been my backup plan when he first asked me out.
The guy that I asked out never replied back to my txts so I decided to go for my now current boyfriend.
We have been together for almost a year now and if the guy that I asked out ever decided to date me now, I would never say yes. I am happy with my man and love him.
The thing is, I would not have expected my boyfriend to wait for me by not asking anybody else out. You shouldn't be waiting for your girl, you should date others in the meantime and, if this girl ever decided to be with you, you will have options.
I know it's hard to date around when your already like someone but I advice you to still try. Initially, I was not into by current bf, but I grew to love him so you never know! Good luck, OP!

Hey guys, OP here, thanks. I genuinely appreciate it. All of it.

Sometimes you just have moments of doubt and need to hear good sense.