I am metaphorically kicking myself into the corner but it feels like a brighter future because i see everything backwards

Dearest E,

How could you do this to me? Why, after I was willing to submit, to be yours, you became so cold? Why did you decide to stay, when you wanted to leave so much?

You broke me. You discovered the most intimate parts of my mind, I let you explore the darkest corners of my soul, just so you could leave...

I can't forgive you the chill you sent down my spine as you said you are going. I can't forget the paralysis.

How could you whisper in my ear that you loved me, when deep down you knew you will go? Did it feel good to choose her over me? Does she make you happy?

I told you we will not be friends. No. I thought that your tears in the Garden of Remembrance did mean something more powerful. I could believe that you could actually love me. Yet you are a coward.

I want to hate you.
I will.

I shall and I will.

I know you miss me. I miss you too. We still look at our photograph from two weeks ago as we fall asleep.

I want your ruthlessness.

I hate myself for loving you so much, you cold, heartless bastard...

Yours,
SK.