How do I make friends with people in a completely new social environment. New state where I don't know anyone, and my coworkers, while very nice people, are all well into their 40's or getting married.
I've been told by my friends that I tend to come off like I'm better than people and look down on it. I've tried fixing this but doesn't really help that I have a very sarcastic, dry sense of humor.
Every time I meet new people I try to be as friendly and open to everything as possible, and will often try to make plans to do things in free time. Literally no success, as they are all either too busy or have to focus on their spouse. I've tried suggesting everything from happy hour, friendly game of golf/tennis, cigar lounge, or hell just hosting something at my own place.
What am I doing wrong? Am I just a sociopath or something? At this point I'm not even going to bother trying to get a girlfriend if I can't even get regular friends.
>>16950092
OP, sorry to say, but people honestly can't or don't plan things anymore, at least not any millennials. You basically have to just show up at their place unannounced to actually do shit. I really wouldn't take it personally. Due to the internet and social media we are all becoming increasingly antisocial. If you're lucky you'll meet someone with one actual hobby, but everyone else just works 9-5, commutes, goes home eats dinner, and sleeps, effectively living day by day. It's why those meetup sites and shit like /soc/ are so popular. People have literally forgotten how to socialize traditionally.
>>16950202
This
Basically with my friends if we're gonna hang out we call it in like 2 hours before hand and if you don't go you don't go, ifs rare we plan anything
People aren't as interesting as they claim or are perceived to be. 70-90% of the population are incredibly boring, simple people. They don't travel, they don't explore, they don't have varied interests. They just eat, work, sleep, and fuck. It's the reason working out is so popular as a "hobby". It's complete tedium. Do X reps of Y weight Z times, or just job on treadmill for X minutes. It's got many benefits of course, but it's something literally any idiot can do so long as they aren't disabled.
The world has become significantly less exciting the more secular we become and the more dependent on tech we become.
Case in point, delete facebook, twitter. See how many people actually put in effort to call or contact you for anything
>>16950279
Not this guy but I'll give you a hint on whats to come
Literally no one will call or text you up, unless you guys talk on a daily basis and have for a while
Fact of the matter is people don't have to think when using Facebook, everything is right there, people online all that, they don't have to go out of their way to message people because Facebook fucking shows if they're on or not
The internet has pretty much killed everything
>>16950317
shit like this makes me wish I was born in the 70's
early enough to get the advances in technology, old enough to not be absorbed by it. Sure phones were land based and if you're a nerd there's only arcades and tabletop games, But people actually did shit. Also added benefit of non expensive college, great job market, and cheap homes.
>>16950365
>>16950365
Its an interesting thought though. Consider how much time you spend looking at your phone while waiting for things. What did people in that time do to pass the time like we do?
First, don't be ageist. I try not to rule anyone out until I know if they personally suck. My friends span many age groups.
In my experience, hobbies help. I moved to a new country last year. I have loads of friends now--I asked my landlady questions as a newcomer and now I join her for walks, swimming, trying new restaurants. I talk to co-workers and attend work enhancement events. I found a group for my favourite hobby and now have friends through that. I also joined Meet Up online. Keep trying things and see what works for you. It's definitely not super easy, but it's part of moving and growing up.
>>16950432
Ummm it wasn't that great back then. Lol. Like finding out what time a movie was on? Failing the damn rotary phone and getting a busy signal? Trying until you get through and then you're at a weird spot in the recording and have to listen to it from the start all over again? Let's just say you were friends with people close to you. If I could go to my neighbor's house, I did. Further friendships were tough.
