Damage controle
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
>start going on date with guy
>things go great
>can't keep it in my pants and sleep with him on the 3. Date
>now are in a relationship since 5 months
>feel regret i haven't waited longer to form a stronger bond not based on sex
>was always bad at emotional intimacy
>love this guy to bits and don't want this to ruin shit in the future
How do i get to that level of closeness that would have been able if i had waited a bit longer?
>>16946848
Bisect yourself with a rusty hacksaw
>>16946848
>on the 3. Date
Do people actually try and count the dates as a prerequisite for sex? Why don't you just fuck someone when you feel like you connect?
I haven't "made it" past date 2 since high school. If I took a girl out on two dates without any kind of sexual spark, I would wonder if she had herpes or was playing games.
> a stronger bond not based on sex
I'm rolling my eyes over here. You realize that you can still form a bond based on character while still having sex right? Or do you just fuck and WHOOPS! there goes all reason, you're in love?
Your focus on the timing as opposed to the connection is, in my opinion, a problem.
>>16946860
No. It's not like i planed that. It just happened to be on the 3. Date...
Yes, i DO realize. But that's kind of my problem here. I wouldn't ask otherwise, right? My sexuality seems to be all kinds of fucked up and i tend to oversexualize everything. I try to keep it down, but basically, the moment i start to have sex with a guy, that's it. That's going to be what we will be doing most of the time. I don't actually want it to be this way but i have no idea how to change or prevent this. What i want is a nice balance but it seems like i am a factor that makes this very unlikely. I want to tone it down but i have NO IDEA how. I'm serious about this. I tried. I need a step by step guide or something...
>>16946848
You shouldn't give a shit. Doesn't matter what road you went on to get where you're at...if it's a good road, keep going.
>>16946860
the girl im fucking now said she feels slutty if she gives it up too soon. i pretty much had to rape her even though she wanted to fuck
>>16946922
You wanted to blueball him till he sucked your toes and called you mistress?
The green is always greener lady, what if he dropped you like a rock for not putting out?
Men have pride, if you toy with them too far you're finished.
>>16947093
>green is always greener
fuck, meant grass
what the fuck ever
wait, you've been with him FIVE MONTHS and you're using sex on date #3 as an excuse for your inability to form an emotional connection with someone?
the fuck?
>>16947093
Ffs... That's not what i said. I don't "regret" sleeping with him. Hes awesome and we have wonderfull sex. I just don't know how to escalate things on an emotional level. I'm awkward and don't talk about myself often. I feel like i am freezed to stone aslong as it doesn't involve sex. It feel like i know a lot about him and he knows almost nothing about me. We have kind of a ldr, but now we will finally be able to spend some more time together and i just want to know how i can take our relstionship to the next level.
>>16947103
Well, it feels as i stated earlier, as soon asi sleep with a guy, everything seems to revolve around sex (not even the guys doing to be honest). Ot really stalls the progress you make in other areas. Now it's been five months and it feel like the balance is slowly buz surely getting out of hand. But as i said here >>16947115
i have the opportunity to try and work on that now. I just need to know how
