I'm angry about a past relationship. It isn't my first break up, though it was my first serious relationship. Other times me and girls have parted ways, I've been sad or remorseful, but about this instance, I've been angry and resentful for upcoming on six months now. I spend time at least once a day thinking about how angry I am. How do I stop myself from being so angry? I don't really want to be - I just want to understand that she's a really bad person and move on.
self-bump
>>16940486
Anon let me tell you a little story. I have been and still am in your shoes. It's been exactly one year. She was my best friend and I honestly wanted to marry her, but personally both of us weren't mature enough to be that kind of couple, and when my depression hit, and I slowly became this out of shape ED'd mess of a human being, you sometimes realize that both of you have issues and that your ex maybe wasn't good or as terrific as you thought.
Your angry because of the same reason I am still angry, and that's because she meant a fuck more than she should've. This is okay, and desu you have all the right to do so, but she will comeback if you were good enough.
You want my advice, don't go looking for the past girl you dated because it's something you'll never find. Don't be friends with her and learn that you yourself have to come to terms that each serious relationship you have sometimes will never work out. Just find a resolution in yourself and live vicariously through you. Women are so much second in your life than you can ever imagine.
>>16940540
I'm perfectly mentally fit still. She was very immature while I was mature enough, certainly. I'm angry that I put so much effort into her even though she was a loser and I have no interest in her coming back. She's cute and has cool interests, but she's a drain and a selfish brat.
>>16940763
The basic dynamic of a relationship is the working of a goal or happiness together. You can bode all you want on how immature she is, but it does nothing for you.
>>16940811
I did everything and got nothing back. I'm so angry because I've finally reconciled that. If I told myself anything other than that, I'd be lying. I blamed myself for the vast majority of all the problems while it was still going on.
How long was the relationship OP? Sounds like an uncannily similar situation I know of, time frame and everything.
I would say you just need to forget about her. Occupy your time with work, hobbies, friends, just keep your mind busy. Don't think about it, out of sight out of mind of sorts. You said you've been through relationships before so I'm sure you have a grasp of how you personally get over someone, or at least in general.
Or maybe you're angry because there's something unresolved about the relationship that's bothering you. Is there anyone you can talk to about it like a close friend who knew both of you? Maybe someone can help uncover whether or not you're really over the relationship, and why. Another perspective wouldn't hurt. Is there anything in particular that comes up whenever you think about it, that makes you especially angry? Did the relationship end poorly, are there loose ends still untied? Maybe you need to find a way to tie them, or find a way to forget about them. I think unresolved, poorly-ended relationships usually fester the most amount of negativity for the longest amount of time. But that's just me.
Of course, it could just be a matter of time. I hear frequently that it takes half the relationship's duration to really get over someone.
Sorry if I seem like I'm contradicting myself, just trying to throw out some ideas for you. Hope I can help.
You could be my ex
I know how you feel OP. After about 3.5yrs I was cheated on and manipulated by my ex. I was obviously mad too. Moreso mad at myself for allowing it to happen. That was over 1.5 years ago now and you know what, I'm still pretty ticked about how it all played out. But, in my ever day life, I hardly think about the bitch. I moved on and met someone else. Her? She's suckering in some other guy and trapping him in another shitty relationship. And also, I learned a lot from that entire experience. I'm so glad she revealed her true self and I was free from her bullshit. Im sure you are too. You gotta ask yourself, why are you so mad? Do you really want to be with her? Is the rejection what's upsetting you? Use that energy to go to the gym. Or spend on a hobby. Focus on your career. Go out and fuck other girls if you so desire. You're a free man. Live it up.
