So I've decided to call these threads a night thread
Starts from 11pm to 7am
You can tell by the pic that I am still continuing.
ASK YOUR QUESTION AND YOU WILL GET AN ANSWER.
How do I?
Am I too emotionally reliant on my friends?
Reposting from ask the opposite gender thread:
I desperately need a reality check. I can't tell anymore if i am lost in really paranoid thoughts or if i am blatantly ignoring red flags with my bf.
>ldr. He is away for school and is behaving fishy when there
>he goes out partying with his coke-consuming friends once every weekend (he's the designated driver and i think he doesn't take any drugs)
>has weird female friend that seems to cross the line on a few things
>sometimes ghosts on me with lame excuses
>tells me often that "i am too good for him"
>when we meet we just stay in and t basically fuck till we fall asleep
On the other hand he is the sweetest guy ever
>has planned a get-away for us in a few weeks so we can spend some more time just the two of us
>is very thoughtfull, attentive and lovely
>makes me random small gifts or hides cute notes when he's over
>frequently tells me he loves me to bits and all that shabang
I can't tell anymore if i am in for a pumpy ride or if i am sabotaging this myself by being so suspicious
>>16933205
I want to move out by the time I'm 25. I've been prepping for a few years and this is where I'm at.
>turn 25 in 2 years
>i'm employed
>have about 4 years of working experience
>will graduate in a year from a 2 year AAS to supplement my job and experience
>have a couple of field certifications
> have $10-15k saved
>no debt/kids
I thought about staying at my folks and going for a bachelors but field experience and a bit of community college(to be able to say i'm a college graduate) will probably be what helps me out the most at this point.
I have no interest in another 3 or so years of University. At this point I figure saving money should be my best bet.
What are some unknowns that I need to prepare for? How on track am I?
>>16933336
What does that mean?
>>16933339
Never that. You're just really happy that you have friends. Usually there are people who can't even make friends in the first place.
Is it normal to have swelling feeling in your prostate when you stop masturbating for 3 weeks after fapping 3 times a day or more?
>>16933343
For me, I would describe you as the best girlfriend out there being able to take in that much from him and still appreciate him as much.
As a solution, I would become more comfortable with how he is and try to have fun for myself as much as possible since he is gone all the time. But this can only be done if you are as open minded and are comfortable with whatever happens.
Or if you cannot seem to get comfortable with what has been happening and you can't shake off the stuff he does and are always unhappy. I think you know what to do.
>>16933372
You are on a roll my friend. It seems like you have your life well put together for you. There isn't anything else you should worry about just until you are about to move out make sure what you need and what needs to be taken care of such as appliances and food and leases with an apartment or bills that you know will come to you.
If all else fails to calm down, let your parents know how you feel about your situation and ask them since they have the highest experience.
>>16933388
Ask a doctor anon.
>>16933205
My neighbors are nosy gossiping and abusive, all i do is keep to myself and try to ignore them, but they just keep at it, what should i do ?
>>16933413
You should confront and ignore the fact that they may think bad of you. Just be honest in a respectful manner. Although they may dislike you I doubt that you are a terrible person since you are considerate about what you should do without ruining the basic relationship you have built with them. So don't fear that they will spread bad things about you to others because you are being honest and sincere and humble to everyone you meet. Right?
>>16933450
Seems like a loaded question, but i would like to believe i deal with everyone on an honest and equal footing, but to say that i should confront and ignore makes little sense to me.
>>16933409
Ok, I have a few things to complete but other than that I personally feel ready it's time to go. Is that how it usually works out when you move out? I don't want to regret it as soon as I'm gone but I keep feeling as though staying at home isn't allowing me to grow.
>>16933467
As in tell them to shut up and grow up and don't give a crap what they say back.
>>16933473
That's exactly right. Staying at home will not help you grow and that feeling of readiness is part of the excitement in life that will come when you move out.
>>16933205
There is a girl at work I'm crushing hard on. She has a bf of 5 years. I feel a connection with her, she must feel it too. Maybe I am hoping for more. Should I just leave it be and appreciate a friend?
>>16933503
I'm 31 and still live at home.
I fear sometimes I never will be able to.
>>16933498
but that doesn't make sense, i mean you don't care what they say back but you tell them to shut up and stop saying things ? logical conundrum aside, i am asking for advice and you are giving it however i have done the polite, respectful and indifferent for a while(3-4 months) but my emotions are telling me to take bloody revenge whilst they sleep and even though you are telling me to continue to rely on something that doesn't seem to be working my emotional response seems pretty good right now.
>>16933514
Depends if she is in a relationship that she is purely calling her future. Appreciate a friend buddy, ask her to help you find a girl as well.
I backed into my new coworker's car. There's a possibility someone saw it. I didn't even inspect the damage of his car, I just drove off. Later I called work about it.
My car only has his paint on it.
Will this make my coworkers hate me?
>>16933536
What do you believe is the best option open to you right now?
Do you have any more solutions that you can make?
Are they reasonable?
>>16933518
Move out. Stop worrying what will go wrong and just move out. Do it now.
>>16933617
If this was within the day then you should apologize to him about what had happened and say it was your fault.
No one can hate you for being honest my friend.
>>16933626
Thank you that last line really helped me. I think I'm going to bring him food to aplogize with. I just feel terrible because it's like his third day of work and me backing into his car is his first impression of me.
Maybe this can lead to one of those unexpected friendships?
>>16933639
That is really what its sounding out to become.
>>16933619
>best option?
best option is tricky to pick, whilst i admit i came to this thread to ask for one because all i can think of is the best worst option right now.
>do i have any more solutions?
poison them, take up a passive aggressive campaign of legal noise pollution, steal their mail and run up massive debt on their identities, destroy their online life.
>reasonable ?
considering the treatment i have received over the past few months i would find any of the above justifiable, killing would be my last resort as it would make me forfeit the rest of my natural life.
>>16933818
i like your thinking.
Sabotage what good they have in their life to justify the wrong they have committed.
>>16933205
I recently found out that a girl I was fucking not too long ago did something shitty while we were working together. Should I bother confronting her about it or just forget it? I work with this girl if that factors into your answer.
>>16933876
While we were sleeping together*
Wizard here. Throughout my life I've never really thought that much about a relationship, and the last time I had a girlfriend was when I was 18. Suddenly I'm now finding the slightest attention from random girls is driving me crazy and my imagination will take over. What the hell is going on?
>>16933859
and what wrong has someone committed against you anon?
>>16933927
Nothing. If someone has "done wrong" to me I would just not care. Like just move on with my life and not worry about that particular person. I have friends and family to be with and they need a person with a good mood and nothing that bothers them. Also it helps me help others and keeps my spirits calm.
>>16933876
>>16933878
If you are continuing to sleep with this woman you should definitely say something.
>>16933885
You are in need of a woman and let out your humanly desires of lust. You need the p basically. And I understand that since you haven't been in a relationship since long ago that means you probably weren't going to date again for a long time. But the body needs woman parts and it has to get a good nutrition of vitamin P
>>16934043
would you categorize verbal abuse as wrong doing ?
>>16934080
abuse is unnecessary violence and assault to another person, there's a reason people go to jail for that stuff.
>>16934093
Verbal abuse (also known as reviling or " verbal bullying") is described as a negative defining statement told to the victim or about the victim, or by withholding any response, thereby defining the target as non-existent. If the abuser does not immediately apologize and retract the defining statement, the relationship may be a verbally abusive one. : 3
>>16934108
You see when it's verbal abuse I don't see how its really a thing. It's plain disrespectful and sometimes it may upset another person but it doesn't need to be exaggerated.
Like if there was a relationship where a man and a woman constantly yell at each other there's an equilibrium, if she gets hurt then she walked into that one and that is what happens to the ignorant.
But in most cases, the male or dominant partner constantly ridicules the other partner and yells and does everything to verbally abuse her. There the partner being abused should leave at once and find a place where they are safe away from the attacking partner. They should not be staying around them and should not make it a big deal.
So really verbal abuse is kind of a thing only because it's defined but it shouldn't affect those being attacked because they should be smart enough to make the correct reaction in response to verbal abuse.
>>16934108
I don't thing abuse is the right word for that definition. I believe that it should be named like "terrible respect towards another" "irrational use of voice" or "unnecessary use of diction in which may mentally affect the other person".
It's not really harm done, it's more like "wtf are you yelling for, stop saying such mean words, you're extremely immature and need to strengthen your vocabulary to settle this disagreement in a more mature manner." or "stop ignoring me you monkey brained shit storm"
You see what I'm saying?
Verbal abuse isn't really as bad as it sounds it's just words.
It's been fun guys. See you tonight.
>>16934135
eh, it's a correct definition, and whilst i take your point on an argument being equal portions of verbal abuse there is a disagreement then there is bullying, DO NOT BULLY!
>>16934140
>I have a new name for the "wheel", i shall call it - "the cylindrical yet wideish disk that whereupon it meets the ground it shall cause an upright rotating motion toward the point of least resistance."
I struggle to become attached to girls.
I just keep them at arms length so I dont get hurt.I feel like blowing my brains out whenever one of them seems to take the first few steps of leaping that bit more than friends barrier and I shoot them down for no real reason but fear.
Please help me.
>>16935441
so you have the reverse of fixation ? interesting...well then i would focus on finding 3 or so things to compliment them on should they start to show interest above and beyond friendship then use one and see how they react and if you still want to ship jump, seek counseling, because your issues are obviously pretty derp.
I'm in love with the only person I've ever connected deeply with and it's over the internet with no end in sight. My soulmate, if you will. What do?
>>16935984
You aren't. It's infatuation. Leave it.
Trust me. I was the same. Your heart is wrong.
>>16936017
We've been together for over a year now.
>>16933387
This is weirdly good advice. Thanks.
>>16936080
A train not on the rails rarely derails either. Doesn't mean it's going somewhere.
>Been in a long distance relationship for 3 years
>Engaged for over a year
>We're both nerdy and introverted
>Her slightly less so. Likes to socialise, but still hides away in room when burnt out
>She's super into kink
>Me not so much, but sounds like something I could grow to like
>Super comfortable in relationship
>We agreed that being open and honest was key before we decided to be serious
>Expected to move to her country later in the year for marriage
>I picked up on politics to keep myself occupied while she's not around (different timezones and work)
>She likes to be ignorant to it all, but I wanted to keep her knowledgeable
>Communication gets pretty minimal, but everything seems fine
>A few days ago she says she doesn't want to be with me anymore after an argument over my interest in debunking Donald Trump smears
>Radio silence for several days
>Tells me she slowly fell out of love because she doesn't trust that I'm okay with things about her
>Thinks her friends will judge her because of my opinions
>I want to be with her more than I care about politics and am willing to forget about it
>shit is depressing and completely out of my control anyway, whereas time spent with her is quite the opposite
>Try to explain myself and reassure her the doubts she has are not founded
>Says she doesn't trust that I can "change" and is confused that I'm suddenly such a different person
>Not really, just dropping the more independent behaviours I picked up to stay entertained when she's not around.
>She's now out at a house party comprised of friends from the BDSM community, getting smashed
>Before now she's said she had grown out of getting drunk
>Last night she heavily implied that she thinks she's going to do things I wouldn't be happy with
>Questions whether she's in the wrong about being free to do so after excusing herself from our engagement
>whatdo?
>Girl moves into my town a few months ago
>8/10 QT
>Find out a few weeks ago that she's really into me
>Don't really start feeling anything towards her until a week or so ago when she starts flirting with me hardcore
>"You have a beautiful face anon"
>Start talking to her more and more
>Being the emotionally retarded asshole that I am I subtly make fun of her instead of complimenting her and asking her out because I'm unconfident in being nice to people for some reason
Am i dysfunctional? Is there something wrong with me? If not, what should I be doing right now instead of obsessing over this like a total dumbshit?
>>16936842
Not OP, but yes.
Assuming you're actually interested in settling down with them, be honest. Tell them they're attractive and ask them about themselves.
If things go well, you're set. If they don't, you're no better off than you are right now.
If you just want to fuck them... honesty can work if you're respectful and trustworthy.
>>16936898
>yes
So you're saying that there is something wrong with me?
I feel like that is overly straightforward. A few days ago I said something in class about the way she walked that made her feel really sad and embarrassed and I wanted to punch myself in the face as soon as those words came out of my mouth. It was probably humiliating for her, especially because she likes me (or liked, I mean). I still do shit like this sometimes, and I just realized recently how much of a habitual asshole I am.
Would it work out better if I just started complimenting her more often? Like something along the lines of "you look really cute today" or "I like your hair/shoes/shirt." I'm too unconfident in myself to be this honest with her for some reason, and I feel like it would scare her off because she is kind of a reserved person. People have told me before that the way I talk can come off as excessively hostile and intimidating.
No, I don't just want to fuck, there are other girls I can probably hit up if the day ever comes where I'm looking for just that. I want to start a relationship with her or at least start dating her, but the only real social aspect that I'm lacking in is experience with relationships, and I don't really have experience being in a good one. I just need some guidance and insight on what sort of mindset that I need to have.
Asking people about themselves seems sort of awkward to me, especially regarding her. She's sort of awkward when it comes to talking about herself.
Sorry everyone, cannot take time to answer all of your questions tonight, come back tomorrow night. I am not going to stay up because I have no work.
>abandon thread
>>16936957
>Hey anon, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Then run with it.
They'll either turn out to be stupidly uninteresting to you, or you'll find you have things in common.
>>16937097
I already did that, so it looks like it might be the former unless she's just reluctant to open up to me
i wish to live in solitude, is it realistic that society will leave me alone ?
>>16937536
How much human interaction can you tolerate? You'll be forced to briefly interact with people to buy things, unless you have parents that are enablers.
>>16937568
hue hue hue
Yesterday I accidently scratched a small mole and it won't stop slowly bleeding, it's like 1mm diameter.. is it supposed to bleed for so long? last time something like this happened was because of an abscess, but I don't feel any pain this time, it just stings like a mosquito's bite. What do?
I've been in a relationship for three years now, we live together as well. This is my first relationship and sometimes I feel like I want to date other people as well. I love my SO and would never cheat on them. However sometimes if I'm at a party (SO doesn't usually come with because they don't like to party) and somebody starts flirting with me, I flirt back. One time I also let a person who was clearly into me (but they knew I'm in a relationship) hold my hand. They tried to kiss me but I shut them down because I couldn't do that to my partner. Is flirting and hand holding in itself already terrible? I think my SO deserves to know about this and I think we should have a conversation about it. Is it a terrible thing to hear that your partner is interested in other people romantically? I guess it's not that weird to have crushes or w/e in a longish relationship but I feel bad about it. How should I bring this up with my SO?
every weekend I hope I'll end up spending my time studying but then it all ends with maybe 1h work total over the course of 3 days
how does this end
>>16937568
i can tolerate short amounts, but extended interactions and forced confrontations send me (more) psychotic, hence the desire to actually be in control of my actions and away from other human beans.
