Okay so I'm in a relationship with a qt and the story is follows
>she's lonely af so talks to random people on omegle
>ends up adding some dude
>became friends with him a while back
>when I'm not with her/on call she calls him instead
>dude makes sexual jokes, asks her how she feels about him (looks wise)
>talks about him a lot
>recently just 'jokingly' asked if she'd go for him instead of me
>gf said no
>says he watches porn whilst on call with her
>they're gonna call tonight whilst I'm asleep
What the fuck do I do?? Be alpha and tell him to fuck off or just let it go on? I get anxious about this but this is more than just anxiety.
>>16935698
You've lost OP. Let me teach you the most important rule about a relationship; it takes two people to do it. You 100% cannot maintain a relationship by yourself, even if you're the best partner in the world you cannot control the other person's behavior.
If she's willing to go this far to get a little "attention" she's more than willing to cheat on you.
Let me break down your options OP and the results of them
A. You "alpha" up and tell him to fuck off. Your gf finds out about it and yells at you for not trusting her and trying to control who she can and cannot be friends with. She further insists that he is just a good friend she likes to chat with and you're insecure for having a problem with it.
B. You do nothing. The guy continues to make passes at your girl and continues to say sexual things and advance their relationship. Cheating could easily occur in the future if this continues if not physical then emotional cheating.
Women pull this shit all the time OP. You're fucked. I personally recommend you abandon ship
I don't know what qt is and how long you've been together, but those stuff don't even matter because you should break up with this girl like yesterday. I'll spell it out for you. She is emotionally cheating on you. Her being lonely does not excuse this. She is being shitty and this is not caused by loneliness. She is cheating on you. Even though it is no physical it is obviously bringing you pain, and that is okay, it means you have standards. Take it as a learning opportunity and go on your merry way.
>>16935698
Is this a long distance relationship?
>>16935741
Nope we live a short bus ride away. The other guy lives a long long train ride away
>>16935698
>>>16935731
She is emotionally cheating on you. Her being lonely does not excuse this. She is being shitty and this is not caused by loneliness. She is cheating on you.
^^^ This. She continues to let him cross boundaries that are absolutely unacceptable in a relationship.
In a normal relationship, whenever an outside party crosses these sexual/emotional boundaries the right thing to do is to remind this individual that you are in a relationship, and out of respect to your partner it is unacceptable to talk sexually/provocatively because its not appropriate.
What she's doing is not appropriate. Its not this guy you have to tell to fuck off, its your girlfriend.
This guy is not the problem, the problem is that your girlfriend either doesn't respect you or your relationship enough to maintain appropriate boundaries with other men.
She talks about him a lot, speaks with him a lot, lets him make sexual advances on her and encourages him to do so. Your girlfriend is cheating on you, not physically but emotionally.
I'd call it quits with this girl, she obviously isn't ready and/or mature enough to understand what being in a relationship entails.
He isn't your problem. He's just another guy. Tell this guy to fuck off without addressing her behavior and most likely she'll develop this kind of relationship with some other guy who comes along.
>>16935774
I had a past relationship where a more extreme version of this ended up hapenning. She is saying he's just a friend but I'm torn between believing her and accepting my anxiety due to the past or being alpha and demanding she cuts him off or its goodbye from me.
>>16935768
There is no shame in being possessive and territorial. Tell her that you don't want her talking to the guy anymore. If she doesn't reply with "okay, anon. I understand. I won't talk to him anymore" then you dump her right there and then without any excuses or second chances.
Don't be a cuck.
>>16935809
>he's moving to her city because he's changing colleges half way through his course
>tfw 18 year old freshman who's two year younger than him
I'll try my best to be alpha
>>16935809
>There is no shame in being possessive and territorial.
Yes, there is. Its what children do. They throw fits when anyone gets near their toys and its not how adult relationships work. If you were in a functional relationship with someone that respected you you wouldn't have to be possessive and territorial, that's the point.
>I'll try my best to be alpha
Here is what you NEED to understand, OP.
THIS GUY ISNT THE ISSUE. Even if you manage to chase him away by being "alpha" the fact is that you're still in a relationship with a woman who was obsessed with talking with another guy and allowed herself to develop a semi-sexual relationship with her.
She did that. She didn't tell him "No, I'm sorry I have a boyfriend I can't be talking like that with you.", she didn't end it herself, she didn't tell him no, she encouraged it. Don't you want to be with someone who you don't have to be suspicious of and chase guys away from whenever she decides to start emotionally cheating on you behind your back?
She did it. She is your problem, not this guy. Don't let the 17 year old manlets of 4chan convince you that wanting to be secure in a relationship and not constantly beating up other guys because your girlfriend doesn't respect you is being a cuck. Its not.
The point is, once you're in a good relationship with a good woman you won't HAVE to be an alpha. You won't HAVE to chase guys away because she'll be smart and mature enough to take care of it before it becomes a problem.
Its called relationship boundaries, OP. This girl has none. Leave the alpha male shit back in middle school where it belongs and use your head.
>>16935698
You were cucked the moment she told you and you didn't react.
She doesn't respect you as a person or as her boyfriend if some random cunt from the internet is her time occupier when you aren't talking to her.
She will cheat in the future, she probably won't tell you or she will excuse it with her situation.
>"I didn't mean to suck his dick Anon, but you weren't with me and he wanted to watch some porn on my 40 inch mirror"
>>16935905
>If you were in a functional relationship with someone that respected you you wouldn't have to be possessive and territorial, that's the point.
Orbiting beta detected, women give out shit tests all the time whether they intend to or not.
But I'm sure your wonderful insight into women will make that girl realise how perfect you are after chad fucks and chucks her again.
>>16935905
You're going to be a disappointed idealist for a very long time. I feel bad for you, honestly.
>>16935950
>Orbiting beta detected,
No, I'm just a grown man who knows what the fuck he's talking about, not some buttfrustrated little red-pill know it all who is unable to make the connection between the women he attracts and the way women treat him.
>But I'm sure your wonderful insight into women will make that girl realise how perfect you are after chad fucks and chucks her again.
I know you're just a kid and you can't really understand the nature of women and relationships right now but I'll try to put it in terms you understand.
When you reach my age, this constant fear of "chad-bro-cock" coming in and sweeping your girl off her feet unless you patrol around her on your knuckles like a silver-back is something that is not only tiring, but unnecessary.
Nothing is more unattractive to an adult, mature woman than a guy who is so insecure that his constant fear of her being "taken" by a better guy translates into constant state of mistrust; where instead of being in a relationship she finds herself just being kind of the girl in King Kong's hands while he beats back airplanes with his fists.
When she feels like a PRIZE, like a trophy and not someone that you respect and trust you pretty much guarantee that she'll be driven into the arms of another man.
And don't forget, kid, that the type of women you attract is a reflection on you, not women. There are an overwhelming number of smart, intelligent women out there who will be dedicated to you without you needing to orbit her with your alpha-ness but the problem at this point is you're not mature or smart enough to find them, and even if you do, you're still not mature or smart enough to keep them.
Like I said, you'll understand when you grow up. A lot of this right now will feel like giving up your "manhood" or whatever but the truth is that when you meet the right women she'll make you want to lower your impenetrable wall of testosterone and stupid. You just haven't met the right one yet.
>>16935963
>You're going to be a disappointed idealist for a very long time. I feel bad for you, honestly.
I've been a man over 30 for a few years, and no need to feel bad, I've been in a great relationship for years.
My disappointing idealism is, frankly, something all mature guys reaching their middle age share. I feel like I'm explaining things to children right now but honestly, when you get older you'll understand.
Right now you're just so scared and insecure that you perceive any challenge to your thinking process as a sign of weakness. I get it, really I do, I was a kid once and I thought just like you.
If even one of you takes my words to heart then my job has been done. I expect 95% of you to call me a cuck and continue about your day but like I said, if you have any brains in your head at all it will all make sense in a few years.
The amount of things you'll learn you were wrong about during your mid to late 20's will freak you the fuck out, trust me.
>>16936003
>When you reach my age
Shit, you're older than me? I'm 29.
>Nothing is more unattractive to an adult, mature woman than a guy who is so insecure that his constant fear of her being "taken" by a better guy translates into constant state of mistrust
I'm sure being open to being cucked by some cunt on the internet is waaay more attractive
>the type of women you attract is a reflection on you, not women
THIS JUST IN IF FAT CHICKS FIND ME ATTRACTIVE ITS MY FAULT
Holy shit you are fucking stupid.
OP don't listen to that faggot, his arguments consist of being a beta provider and calling people "kid" to try and sound like an authority.
Find a woman who isn't trying to tick off her dick bucket list
Make sure she knows that you aren't dependent on her otherwise she will shop around or act out
If she is physically or emotionally cheating, don't give her another chance
A shoulder to cry on is a dick to ride on
Talk to her about her issues, let her have a whine then give her a solution
By the way, I'm self employed (£50k after tax by the end of this tax year), married and have 2 kids, the eldest is captain of his football team and liked by all, everyone says he is a spitting image of me and has my mannerisms, I raise him the same as I was raised and so far he is turning out great.
>>16936020
>The amount of things you'll learn you were wrong about during your mid to late 20's will freak you the fuck out, trust me.
Sounds like you just were not very well socialised growing up, most people learn their shit by about age 23
>>16936020
I've written a message explaining both my anxieties and the borders that he's clearly crossing and how this is how I feel at the moment. If her response is 'oh don't worry he's just a friend :)' then I'm pretty sure she doesn't give a shit I'm getting infringed upon. If her response is 'I'm sorry, anon, youre right, I'll explain to him and if he doesn't change then I'll won't talk to him anymore' then I'll know she actually cares. Hopefully.
>>16935905
>>16935876
>>16935809
>>16935789
>>16935774
>>16935768
>>16935741
>>16936057
Can we all at least agree that OP needs to ditch this toxic bitch?
>>16936049
>I'm sure being open to being cucked by some cunt on the internet is waaay more attractive
I can tell by the way you talk that you have a lot of growing up left to do.
>Shit, you're older than me? I'm 29.
That's sad, dude. You should know better.
>Make sure she knows that you aren't dependent on her otherwise she will shop around or act out
I'm really sorry that you were raised to think that you're only as valuable as how manly you are. You have this inherent mistrust of women and insist upon treating them like dogs so they don't "shop around". Its super sad man. Really really sad that you feel you have to do that.
You know what makes me better than you?
I have a partner. She is WITH me in my life, not my property that I have to keep on a leash so she doesn't run away. I don't worry about her shopping around because I trust her and she trusts me. I don't have to "discipline" her by withholding affection or "teach her" all the ways that I don't need her so she behaves. Its such a childish way to conduct a relationship I'm amazed you've even made it this far. I inherently respect women, you don't. Its very obvious.
This whole old school mentality of "yeah yeah women whine and complain blah blah fat chicks blah blah give um an inch they take a mile blah blah she'll hop on a cock if you don't keep her in line" is horrifically archaic. Its laughable. You're laughable. You're a grown man whose attitude about women is trapped in middle school and you're willing to defend your idiocy and backwards ideology to the death. Yikes, dude. Seriously.
>Sounds like you just were not very well socialised growing up
Sounds like you were raised by an alpha-male asshole. It happens a lot and its unfortunate. Sorry that happened to you dude.
My dad fucked me up the same way man, but I was smart enough to see past it into the big picture. Hope your son is smart enough to see through your bullshit then same way I was.
Good luck, man. I mean that.
Ditch the broad OP, she's bad news. You should have clamped down WAY sooner and now you've given her an inch and she's run a mile.
I would tear my girlfriend to shreds via a verbose monologue and dump her ass ASAP. If my girlfriend is talking to other guys like that she can take a long walk off a short pier for all I care.
>>16936057
>If her response is 'I'm sorry, anon, youre right, I'll explain to him and if he doesn't change then I'll won't talk to him anymore' then I'll know she actually cares. Hopefully.
That's a smart move, OP. I'm glad some of what I have said has sunken in and you've decided to communicate with her openly and honestly as opposed to going all alpha-ape and flipping out on this dude. It'll solve nothing, and I'm sure you know that.
Continue being smart, dude. It will pay off.
>>16936049
Nigga, you're basically agreeing with him. He's fucking right. He never told anyone to be a cuck, he just very clearly stated that being insecure is any guy's demise. Don't overthink shit, just go with the fucking flow.
>>16936094
I am your peer in age and while I respect that you encourage anons to be mature, you are showing your ignorance about the world beyond you. Not everyone lives your life, not everyone had your experiences, and not every woman is your wife. Most, if not all, people need to be told or taught what is or is not appropriate. There is nothing wrong with OP telling his girlfriend that her behavior is inappropriate, but he also needs to realize his relationship with her is now a farce.
I agree with you on the alpha up bullshit, though.
