Is it normal to be distraught when you get what you want?
I've been crushing on and pursing someone with my entire heart and mind for about a month.
I've thought about nothing but this person nearly every waking second.
Now that we're together I can't give a shit about any of it and I could care less if we broke up.
In general I'm afraid of getting anything I want. Success always feels like failure.
what's wrong with me?
either some deep psychological trauma or some freudian shit, or it was about scoring, not maintaining.
>>16922904
Maybe this? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_hedonism
As for how to cope with it or "fix" it: you could give us more examples of when pursuing something you desire felt better than getting it.
It's something common today, with electronics and other things on the market: you LOVE/WANT what you don't have, so marketing will try its best to convince you you either need or want what they're selling. Once you go out of your way to get it, you realize it was all hype and the thing loses its impact. It's thrown into the chest of "things I once wanted but have since been forgotten", giving company to now called retro videogames, cellphones, some clothes, etc.
Sounds like something I experience as well. I'm so used to "not getting" I have no idea how to handle it if I succeed. If I'm chasing a girl, it feels like mission accimplished once I know she's into me. If she's REALLY into me, I get spooked for some reason.
It could either be as other anons said, I deep want for something you don't have, and when you get it you don't really care, because the reward was obtaining it not preserving it.
The other thing could be so scared of loosing it that you've prepped yourself for defeat, I do this often. This may be the case if you've had it hard in life and hardwired your brain to be use to never having nice things. In this case you need to understand that some things work out and explore your feelings for this person. Otherwise if it's the first I suggest telling the other person about this.
>>16922904
THRILL OF THE KILL
EMBRACE THE INNER HUNTER
The problem with dream girls is they eventually become real.
>>16923423
As soon as I know that a girl is into me, I declare it a victory and move on.
>>16923458
Yes exactly
Maybe we just need to... reframe what the victory conditions are, somehow
>>16922904
You've been in love not with the person you're with, but with an idealized model of the person in your head. now you've come to realise that this person is not anything like the model you've made up.
>In general I'm afraid of getting anything I want. Success always feels like failure.
what's wrong with me?
Apart from the explanation above, there's also the possibility that your fear of losing what you have makes you afraid to be happy. though the first mentioned seems way more likely to apply here.
