Hi /adv/,
How does one stop being a pessimist? I used to be a real enthusiastic kid when I was younger, but somewhere along the line I turned into a critical, often pessimistic dick. Apart from becoming a nuisance to people around me due to my bitching, I find myself becoming more and more sceptical of my environment, making me quite unhappy at times. I don't feel like being unhappy anymore, but I feel like there's no way back to being enthusiastic and optimistic anymore.
Wat do /adv/?
Bump I guess
Check out this book called Feeling Good by David Burns. It might seem a little gimmicky and dumb at first, but it actually helped me a lot with overcoming pessimistic/negative thinking patterns after spending most of my life thinking that way. It's written by one of the founding psychiatrists of the cognitive behavioral school of therapy and there's a lot of careful thought that went into it.
Its central idea is basically that depression/pessimism is a thinking disorder, and that using the scientific method you can begin to overcome your pessimistic thoughts by disproving them as illogical and replacing them with more neutral/objective/positive thoughts that more accurately reflect reality.
The way you begin is by writing down every negative thought you have as soon as you have it. In this way you're able to "capture" the thought and turn it from an amorphous idea inside of your head into a physical object that can be tested. Once you've written down the thought you can then rationally examine it and try to identify if there are any cognitive/logical distortions.
Here's a summarized list of his cognitive distortions if you're interested:
http://www.apsu.edu/sites/apsu.edu/files/counseling/COGNITIVE_0.pdf
Eventually after a couple weeks of doing this, you'll realize that a lot of the extremely negative/pessimistic thoughts that you have are not really grounded in reality. Although you may think it is so, the world is not really an extremely negative place. It's a mostly totally fine place where sometimes good things happen and sometimes bad things happen.
Again it may sound kind of gimmicky but you'd be surprised how much it actually helps when you put it into use. In clinical trials it's actually more effective at restructuring negative thinking than all current anti-depressant drugs on the market.
Good luck
pic related is me lately
>>16919800
>How does one stop being a pessimist?
With a lobotomy.
same boat as OP
>>16920152
will read into that, thnx
more advice is welcome
im just tired of being so jaded, its exhausting
>>16920152
Are there any self-help books that actually allow you to conclude that you're a shitty person who is beyond redemption? Because it seems like all of the (admittedly limited) resources I've experienced are all grounded in the assumption that the person utilizing them is, essentially, a good person.
And some people just aren't good.
>>16920152
Ordered that book and the PDF is a good start.
>>16920506
I agree with you. I've been to so many therapist in my life because my parents were fucking crazy but sometimes I just want them to make a judgement. The problem is that I grew up around psychology students and I know exactly what they want to hear. I know exactly how to talk to them and they love me. It's a big problem.
>>16919800
There's nothing wrong with being a pessimist, you're just being realistic.
>>16919800
Been trying some stuff.
My pessimism comes from self loathing, as I feel does most pessimism.
We are the masters of our own destruction, we must only see that we are what destroys us.
So what I did was sat down, and wrote down 10 things I hated about myself, and 10 things I love about myself.
It took about ten seconds to write my hate list, and a few minutes to complete my love list.
Then I cross checked them, and all but one item on each list was a choice. So I have been carrying that list with me, because its a physical reminder that I make the things I like and hate about myself. I am the keyholder to my happiness, and nobody else can unlock that for me.
Next, I had to change perspective. I always focus on the things I did in the past that were wrong, or that I screwed up. I realized that when you live in the past, you cant live for today. You gotta look forward to something. Find something upcoming in your life, and focus on that. For me, it was this girl I liked. I stopped thinking so much about how I screwed up my past relationships, and started to focus more on the fun stuff we would be doing together.
Together, these small changes have spurred some optimism in me. I find it easier to look forward to things, and easier to feel likable because of my stupid little list.
Just change focus man.
