Ok I really need some advice here cause I feel awful about this.
I met this guy online in a forum a couple years ago, and while we never officially dated, we flirted around a lot and got very emotionally intimate. We were really close friends, and shared pretty much everything with each other, talkinh every day, and even did some naughty things once or twice.
Anyway, I kinda start to like him, and he REALLY starts to like me, and while it was ok at first, I eventually met someone in real life, and began to talk to him less and less, and while we did try to stay friends, it didn't work, so I kinda started to ignore him more and more.
He tried really hard to maintain our friendship, but, idk, I lost attraction, and eventually just blocked him.
Anyway, fast forward some, and I've been with my bf for about a year, and I'm really happy, and anyway, I get a PM from one of our mutual friends in the forum, and he starts telling me about this guy, that he really cared about me, and that I should try to at least talk to him and maintain some friendship, and eventually after I decline, he tells me to please try and contact him, as he hasn't heard from him in a long time, and that after he'd learned that me ignoring him was deliberate, that he didn't take it very well.
So well, I do, I try and message him by email, check his accounts, and no replies, and he hasn't been seen in about a month. And at this point, I'm really concerned... I think, he might have actually killed himself.
I don't know, I just, I feel terrible.
He wasn't just some guy, he was my friend, my closest friend for a while even, he was always there to talk to me when I needed him, and to think that now he might be dead... and it's all my fault for ignoring him like that.
I don't know what to do?
Was it my fault?
I feel awful, and I can't help but blame myself for it all... please help me.
First of all you don't know if he actually killed himself, maybe he's been busy with life and stopped going online so much. Don't jump to conclusions without proof.
Maybe you should have been more direct instead of just blocking him and told him why you didn't want to speak anymore, however I wouldn't say it's your fault if he did kill himself.
Most people who are suicidal have other stuff going on too and a lot of factors that contribute to the final act. If he couldn't move on after a year that's his fault - not yours - and most likely he simply failed to get the help he needed.
>>16923811
Nice going, OP. You fucked up, poor guy needed some normal fucking attention. He didn't ask for nudes or love. Just a fucking friend and you couldn't even be human and honest with him. He's in a better place knowing you're not there.
>>16923828
We have treads about dudes who wanna kill themselves because some girl dumped them almost every day on here. Dude's most likely dead if no one has heard from him and he hasn't been online in over a month.
>>16923811
>He tried really hard to maintain our friendship, but, idk, I lost attraction, and eventually just blocked him.
wtf… you seriously need to contact him and explain why you did this to him. i was in a long distance relationship with a girl once and she did this to me, it literally fucked me up for a little while. seriously, this is one of the coldest things i have read. you should blame yourself, its your fault.
Way to be a great friend op. Just because you lost attraction doesn't mean you block someone and never talk with them. You honestly sound like a child when you can't even tell a friend the truth.
>>16923811
prob b8 or troll but just leave something that explains things from your perspective and apologizes but firmly states that you are good with how things went and you don't want him back or want to try to force a friendship etc.
So leave him something he can/might read but that won't create more heartache / false hope with him.
Or just leave it alone. Those are your only two options. Making this about you and feeling bad about it when you are the one we know is doing ok and for all we know he is too... not really needed
>>16923811
If you know his full name then start googling. You should be able to find some sort of an obituary if he is indeed dead. If you don't know his full name then clearly you guys weren't really that close, so just let it go. People disappear off the internet all the time, and for the most part it doesn't mean shit.
Every female 'friend' I've ever had:
>"Anon, you're a true friend!"
>gets new boyfriend
>wont answer phoe calls
>wont answer texts
>message her on facebook: "hey, are you okay?"
>"You have been blocked by this user."
>never hear from her again
>>16923908
really? that is fucked up. i think girls have male friends as fall back incase they can't get anyone better. its fucked up.
>>16923915
its how society is. you cant have a friend that is female in a society that teaches women that we are raping them when we hold the fucking door open.
if you talk to a girl, she thinks you want to fuck her, thus why she stops talking to you when she gets a bf
its sickening, especially when you're like me and you come from a family with a strong female presence and sometimes you just want to have a serious conversation with a woman about issues of the day...
>I don't know what to do?
The only thing you can do is learn from the experience and avoid committing the same mistake twice. This mistake:
>"idk, I lost attraction, and eventually just blocked him."
Don't do that.
>>16923932
yeah, a lot of my teachers in my uni are feminists. they come out with some of the worst shit i have ever heard. they really do think we are privileged.
>>16923915
>she thinks you want to fuck her
but you do, anon
you do want to fuck her
stop lying to yourself and others
>>16923984
this doesn't apply to everyone. i have a female friends who i sometimes to talk on Facebook, i wouldn't fuck her at all, i think she is unattractive. and anyway, if girls are aware of this claim and keep talking to you, then they are intentionally feeding into it. the girl should at least have the decency to tell a guy that she has bf. not just suddenly block them.
>>16923811
>Was it my fault?
However you handled this, if he was troubled enough to take his own life over this (which I'm not saying he did), he was troubled enough to do it period. You being around wouldn't have fixed anything, and in fact, may have have just enabled him.
Sounds like he wouldn't have been cool being "just" friends, and it probably would have lead to some drama where he threatens to kill himself or some shit.
Fucked up people are fucked up for their own reasons. Other people just give them the excuse.
I say this as a formerly fucked up guy who lived through a decade of depression.
Sure, there's a chance he's gone now (in which case you being around wouldn't have changed that), but there's also the chance that he's just moved on from that phase of his life, or this is all some weird plo using his other friend to get back at you and make you feel guilty (It's happened. Emotionally unstable people can be petty and childish as fuck).
Don't blame yourself, just move on in your life.
>>16924021
There is a VERY likely chance he would be around if she had
>>16924021
They met online though, I think he must have been fine with them not being together, especially since they never actually dated.
OP, are you bipolar by any chance? I remember there being a thread on here a couple weeks ago about a guy talking about some bipolar chick he met online, and it rings a lot if bells with your story.
You lived really far away from each other, right? Like different continents. North America and Europe iirc. And you met on a video game forum, right?
>>16924095
Yes and yes.
I have bipolar disorder, and we met on a gaming forum yeah.
And he lives in Europe yes.
Why? What was the thread about?
>>16924101
Guy used to post here a lot, he made many many threads talking about you over the year, he even posted a photo of you I think a couple times.
You're this cute, Asian-looking girl with dyed red hair right? Is that you? I never saved the photo, but iirc the the guy got spooked when someone called him out on it saying they knew you. He was really into you.
I remember he made a thread sometime last month being all depressed and shit. I think he might have killed himself yeah.
Sorry.
>>16924135
If that's true and it's the same anon...
Yeah.. he would have been manipulative and needy as fuck, and would have just brought OP down.
>>16924153
>someone deserves to die because they're in love
Yeah, ok anon...
That dude sounds like such a faggot. Who gets so attached over an online friend? He probably didn't kill himself but if he did, you saved him from another 50 years of pain and misery
I kind of know this situation (met a guy online, got really close, friendship/relationship kind of faded, one person kept trying, doesn't work out) but you really fucked up when you said you blocked him. It's fine that the relationship came and went, sucks that he tried to keep it going though, but blocking him is extreme and rude as all hell. You should have been direct which may have stung him but now you probably wouldn't have been worrying about this.
>>16924178
>>someone deserves to die because they're in love
>Online friend they've never met
>Love
Does not compute.
Also not what I said. I said he was obviously troubled--and if he was troubled to the degree he took his own life, her being around wouldn't have fixed anything in his life, it would have just brought hers down
