Hi /adv/, how you guys are doing?
So, here's my story. My girlfriend has multiple sclerosis since she was 16 (she's 18 now. I'm almost 22) and she usually feels really depressed when she have an outbreak (this happens kinda once in a year).
I know MS doesn't have a known cure, but she undergoes by treatment and while she isn't on an outbreak she lives a normal life like any other person. We have a good relatioship, a good sex life, and we are in really good terms with each other's families.
But everytime an outbreak like this happens, she feels really down, needing to go under therapy and I feel really hopeless without knowing what to do to try to give her my support while staying by her side.
So what I want to know is what can I do to be a better boyfriend for her at times like this? Tips of things for me to do in order to try making her feel happier despite of the circunstances are welcome too.
The number one rule of helping someone is to shut up and listen. You're not supposed to figure out the way to help them. You're supposed to provide what it is that they're looking for. That's help.
Seriously, imagine if you needed help moving and I just barged into your house to start packing and relocating your belongings. Would you be saying "Thanks for the help!" or "Who are you, why are you in my home and stop going through my shit I'm calling the cops?"
Take a moment to reflect on what the word "help" means. It's important when it comes to being effective and respectful.
>>16915524
My ex has MS. I would stay in the hospital with him. He was also a really shitty person and used it as an excuse to guilt trip me into everything
>but I'm dying
>I'll be paralyzed soon
Literally when I didn't want to FaceTime him at 1am or get out of bed to send nudes when I had the flu
>>16915539
I'm always ready to hear what she has to say to me, but that's a good advice. I want to understand her better and provide what she needs and will be looking for.
>>16915562
Fortunately, my gf is a really good person and I enjoy staying by her side living together. She don't make any of these excuses at me.
>>16915539
seconding this, and also take good care of yourself. that could mean occasionally touching base with a therapist, finding a support group or an online forum for caregiving relatives, or even just realising when you're frustrated and taking a day for yourself when you can. being in a relationship with someone who has a disabling condition, even an intermittent one, can be stressful as fuck no matter how much you love them.
it sounds like you guys are doing pretty great so far. just, if you guys are truly in it for the long haul, make sure to pace yourself for the long haul.
>>16916561
>take good care of yourself.
I already do this, to don't make her worry about me. I have depression myself too and used to go under therapy until sometime ago, but nowadays I feel way better than when the depression was stronger. I really love her and want to be able to provide what she needs in a partner.
We are doing fine but I never saw her so sad and depressed like today (she's on an outbreak now and this is getting in the way of her studies, wich she really likes doing). I tried to play some videogame with her and some talking in order to try cheer her up. It worked briefly, but wasn't enough, but she said she's glad I'm by her side trying my best.
I hope it's only a bad day, but it really worried me. :(
