I'm 20, go to small shit uni. My girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me in October, and I haven't even kissed a girl since.
I feel this immense pressure to get a girlfriend because I'm young and in college but I'm having trouble meeting new women. My parents even asked me if I was even interested in finding a girl still.
I've done a lot that I can. I've read a lot of seduction advice and a lot of self improvement books. I've been lifting weights for 3 months. I even tried NoFap, but I'm on day 6 and even though I feel slightly different I'm just more angry and frustrated with myself.
I don't approach women because all the times I go out I'm with friends and it's awkward to do it in front of them especially if you fail. I'm generally confident and do not present neediness but it seems like I have to try harder than most people do just to get a girl.
Considering the factors in play how bad is it that I'm in "incel mode" right now? Is there something I need to learn that I haven't already in order to get girls like everyone else does?
It hasn't even been 6 months since you broke up with your long term girlfriend, don't worry about it for too much
>>16911795
>incel mode
Jesus Christ, another made-up bullshit term
You might need to learn how to relate to women. Just imagine if you asked a ditzy sort of girl about which qualities guys are after. You know she'll start listing off a million little things that you couldn't give two shits about, right? Well are you sure you're not the same way? Given that you've been focused solely on the needs of one particular girl for four years, are you sure that you really know what it is that girls care about?
I'm sure they admire weightlifting the same way that you admire makeup. But have you ever considered how much you really care about makeup? Whether it's something you care THAT much about despite appreciating it all the same? And the nofap stuff...I dunno, can you sniff out the estrogen levels in women? Do you think they can smell your testosterone? I'm being cheeky here and I understand that it's more about behavioral impact than anything, but I'm sure you get the point I'm making. Everyone has to try to some degree. My suggestion to you is to take a step back and think about whether you're trying in the right ways.
>>16911813
I'm not sure what you mean by relate to women. Yeah I can talk to them almost indefinitely and be emotionally vulnerable to them, being honest and sharing my experiences with them. Most of them have boyfriends or there's some sort of friction that exists. Tinder doesn't work for me and I've never gotten the oppertunity to approach random women especially since I can't go into bars until next year.
Is it normal for someone my age to go through something like this or is the dating world really that unforgiving?
Don't dwell too much on the "self-improving ascetic" bullshit. Date as soon as you feel ready, but you may have to force yourself a bit. Try to get rejected, it's a healthy thing you can't expect everyone to like you and that's fine! Put yourself out there, you deserve a great life after your ex.
I didn't get a gf until my last semester of college, but I don't feel like I was missing out on anything
There's no reason to feel any pressure, sometimes it just takes time to find a girl you actually click with
