From the ages of 18-20 I did more or less nothing with my time. A few part time jobs and a lot of weed smoking.
A year in I applied to university. I met a girl who had slept with most of my immediate friends and when we eventually had sex last January. We ended up in a relationship. I broke up with her three weeks ago because she was moving in with two male friends. One is an ex-boyfriend and the other is strange. He licked her face at a party on new years as a joke which is when I realised I'm not in the drivers seat in any aspect of my life.
She sucked at drawing boundaries with people and I sucked at letting her know.
How do I reclaim a semblance of confidence or control? I'm heart broken about a girl whose main criteria for a relationship with me was that I stayed. How do I forgive myself for all my wasted time? I'm 21 and every day feels wasted.
>>16892145
time is never truly wasted, and by your own account there is nothing to reclaim, simply to start claiming.
you dated a girl, had sex, presumably had a good time, and then things went south. thats how ALL relationships go. it does not make relationships useless, pointless, or wasted time. it is their nature, and its the reason we have them. at the very least you can say 'i enjoyed my time with her, but then i learned from it'. thats what you have to take from everything.
all that being said, if you want to be more productive, the first thing you got to do is know what you want.
sit down, make a list, and make a schedule. dont start that schedule tomorrow. the first step is taken today.
also dont smoke weed anymore.
>>16892145
>I'm too passive, what do I do?
I'm essentially going to reiterate what >>16892182 wrote: figure out what your goals are (they don't have to be deep, they don't even have to be long term) and then act to achieve those.
It's simple, but it means you have to decide you're going to go after what you want. You don't need to spend a lot of time regretting the past. Make up for it by working and making effort now.
>>16892145
Stop smoking weed, first of all. Its very purpose is to make you passive, so it's not wonder stoner dipshits always turn out the same way.
What do you actually want? What's your plan? You need to bring some order into your life and your relationships, so start by not being a passive bitch to yourself. Get in shape, pull your shoulders back, get some shoes with some arch support.
You haven't wasted time at all. Those two years have given you the experiences that prompted you to change. This is the bit where you make that change.
>>16892145
You need to find something that absolutely terrifies you and conquer it after that you'll feel invincible forever
