I read them all!
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I read them all!
B,
I internet-stalked you and found out who gave you that watch. Also now I know your two favorite shows.
Our next conversation won't be a coincidence.
See you next week!
T
Guy in my art class,
I'm not sure if your side glances towards me are negative or positive, but I'm fascinated by you and that's why I look at you. I'm really sorry if I'm creepy, I'm going to cut it out. I want to talk to you but you sit far away and there's no reasonable leeway for me to strike up a conversation.
Sincerely,
Girl in your art class
>>16901422
M,
I'm sorry for that awkward exchange today. Believe me, it was much more awkward for me than it was for you. Now I literally feel like dying.
In fact, only that weird exchange we had was enough to trigger my paralyzing anxiety about my failure of a former romantic life, and I don't even have a crush on you! If I did, I'd probably be trying to actually kill myself in shame right now. You know, seppuku, like the Japanese. They're very knowledgeable about a lot of stuff, and suicide in case of unbearable shame may as well be one of them.
But please, understand it's not your fault. I'm just too mentally damaged to function in society. A crappy past broke me and I don't know how to fix myself. Please, don't be sad if I get away, either. I just wanted to be your friend, but this is so awkward, now I might not want to speak to you in a long while (even though I said I'd help you if you needed anything, now I'm feeling even more like crap for saying one thing and actually doing another).
Ehh, not that you or anyone cares anyway. Good thing you'll never read it, right?
Good luck with your life,
- A
A
Fuck you. You'll die unhappy and alone.
J
A,
you'll be my wife one day. lol
K
To D
I love you so much and others do to. I want you to understand this. Your perfect but you don't see yourself in that way because of those stupid dick heads you call friends. I dont hate u , I love you in every way. Stop hurting yourself. Also stop being a fucking fag , you attention whore. Little prick. I hope you kill yourself
Love,
Your friend
>>16901695
That pretty much says it all, penis.
>>16901710
Should I send it to them?
>>16901422
Dear family,
I hate all of you, I hate this goddamn house and I can't wait to move out of there
Sincerely,
L
>>16901710
Leave him be you fuckers.
dear m
Thanks for another chance, I don't deserve it. I don't know why I treated so bad for so long, literally years, or why you stood around happily taking my abuse. I don't know why you look up to me and I'm sorry I made you feel so low.
But you made me realize what friendship is worth and I want to be good to you now that you've accepted me back.
H,
Why are you lying? When you're alone you'll realize the attention wasn't worth it.
Dad
I can't even hate you. Your family made you miserable and you hated your dumb bitch wife so you left it all, looking out for #1. But at the same time you're expected to "be a man". I'm still scared of ending up like you. Up to this point our lives were the same, fat kid with no friends grows up to start working out and has a bunch of shallow relationships that still don't make him happy. And that's the worst part because despite sort of not wanting to blame you for looking after your own happiness you're still a piece of shit for everything you did. Ultimately that's what I'm afraid of. If in our teens and twenties we were exactly the same, then will I be a monster at 40 the way you were? I'm so scared. Your mom was a cunt so you married my mom because every man grows up to marry his mother. So I don't want to be like you, a scared little boy hiding in a sexy body who gets a dumb cunt to marry him because my mom was a bitch too. But in all likelyhood with my complete lack of self confidence I'll end up settling for someone who treats me like shit and abandon own family just like you did. Which is really the reason I haven't shown interest in dating or sex for years now.
Self
Look back at this time in a year.
All bridges are burned and you are totally alone yet more happy then you've ever been. In solitude comes peace. You're about to start the journey of a lifetime and travel thousands of miles and you'll grow.
>>16901955
don't leave without saying goodbye
>>16901959
there's no one to say goodbye too.
I was just really mean to a friend. I get sick of people I am close to and dump them when they show me too much love. It's like if they like me and treat me well they have no value. But then when guys treat me like shit, I love them. I have BPD. I am a fiend. I am a miserable wretch.
>>16901973
to*
>>16901987
thanks for clearing that up Peg
Dear god
When they break up with me when I'm 12, I've learned from my mistakes.
When they break up with me when I'm 14, I've learned from my mistakes.
When they break up with me when I'm 17, I've learned from my mistakes.
When they break up with me when I'm 21, I've learned from my mistakes.
When they break up with me when I'm 26, I've learned from my mistakes.
When they break up with me when I'm 30, I've learned from my mistakes.
When they break up with me when I'm 36, I've learned from my mistakes.
I'm 42 now and I'm still alone.
Did I really learn anything?
>>16902001
No problemo jabroni
>>16902004
You learned how to be dependent on women
>>16902008
I'm gay
>>16902010
I didn't see that one coming
Homosexuals are promiscuous degenerates, sorry bud
>>16902012
Most of my failed relationships come from "straight" people.
>>16902019
Probably not a good idea to get involved with "straight" people then
>>16902025
But you said that gays are borderline degenerates.
And so are "straight" people.
Am I destined to be alone?
Caterpillar,
I'm sorry that you felt too overwhelmed by all the drama that you helped create. All I ever did and wanted to do was love you. I highly doubt you'll find anyone that comes close to replacing me. And I fear I'll never find anyone who comes close to replacing you. You'll have girlfriends or at least fuck buddies from time to time, I'm sure. That silver tongue of yours can get you almost anything. But you will never truly be happy. Your problem is that you're a coward. You're so afraid of challenges that you've convinced yourself that complacency equates to happiness. Don't you realize that you have to work hard and actually put effort into yourself and others to be happy? I would have walked on fire for you. You couldn't even light the match. And now you've completely broken me. I've only ever wanted you. For seven years I've loved you. And now I have no idea what to do with all that vacant space you left behind in my mind and heart and soul. I pray it will be filled with someone just like you, but I pray harder that I won't think of you when I'm with him. But I pray hardest that I won't have to do either of those things, and that maybe, one day, you'll find your way back to me when you've grown up.
I'll love you to death.
Butterfly
>>16902032
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hzjuf686oA
>>16902047
the caterpillar/butterfly thing is a little corny for my tastes but otherwise well-written. Not as moving as the former-fat-kid-now-sexy-fuckboi's thing about his dad, tho.
>>16902055
The nicknames are what we referred to each other as. It's a way of being obvious about who I am and who he is without having to reveal names or initials.
Dear A,
You didn't lose your phone, you fucking liar. You just wanted to go AWOL because you suck at your day job and got lazy with your other obligations. And you just lost out on about $400 by being unresponsive. We could have gotten started last week before you had to leave town. Nice going, dipshit. So now we're both screwed and I'm going to have to find someone else to help finish this in LESS THAN TWO WEEKS. How the FUCK is that supposed to happen when you didn't even finish the previous one?!
FUCK.
YOU.
You have NO idea how badly you just fucked me over. And the worst part is, I really fucking need you to get your ass back here when your other shit is done, because when you actually put in some goddamn effort, shit works.
God fucking damn it. This week just get worse and worse.
-R
>>16902047
did you call him caterpillar bc his dick, and your vagina was the butterfly?
>>16902066
Kek, no. I was 18 and being cutesy and asked if I could be his butterfly. Then I came up with the caterpillar thing because, I dunno, insect theme. Later on, we dubbed his little brother chrysalis.
>>16902069
aw
>ai-ee yai-ee yaiii, i'm your little butterfly~
>green black and blue making colors in the sky
>>16902069
This is the gayest shit I've ever heard
Dear H,
I don't know if the other night was a mistake. I know I can't have an interest in you. I know neither of us are ready for that. But I shouldn't be thinking about you. I think it's mainly because it's the first time I've literally been kissed in literally several years. We had fun and laughing afterwards and watching the lightning was chill as fuck. I know I can't "care" about you in that way, you're my friend even though we don't talk that often I guess. I'm a little drunk, I think I've snapchatted you too much in the past couple of days (all 4 pictures!) Kinda want to hear from you. Idk. Mainly it was just a passion thing. Maybe it was just because we're both feeling hurt from the past right now. I don't know what it is, but it felt good to be noticed and feel attracted to for once. I want to do something like that again soon. It was nice to feel good for once
Only slightly reluctantly drunk,
A
>>16902114
Maybe. But I mean...I was only 18. It's lame now, but it stuck forever.
Dear Betty,
i hope you know your remarks of"no body wants you here" has caused me an unbearable amount of pain over the years and has led me to have many mental and academic problems. i would love to see you rot in feces and be on food stamps because that what you deserve you worthless piece of shit.
love,
s
Fuck
I want sleep But I have so much shit to do
This is some bullshit
Hiya L,
Its been almost a year since we broke up, I don't recall the exact date, I just know it was this month. We've both changed, probably a lot. I can say that I feel like a stronger person than I was before, probably because my job thrust so much responsibility onto me. So don't feel bad about how things went, I wouldn't have even applied if not for you. Here's hoping your life is better now, though as we both know, life is a rollercoaster, with its ups and downs.
Sometimes I miss you, even now, though I really shouldn't. I miss your sweet messages and the silly banter, the hours we could spend just on the phone. I think you might miss me occasionally too, if your last drunken message is anything to go on. As long as one of us is dating someone, let's keep our distance, it'd be too easy to fall into old habits.
Part of me hopes you've moved on from reading messages on here, but we always seem to find each other. For some reason, I think we'll talk again sometime, it'll just be a time aways from now.
T
E,
It feels like being friends is not possible anymore. Our relationship got too deluded with lies and broken promises. I hope everything turns around for you.
A
>>16902143
Did you switch the initials one up, like S turned into T?
I'm glad you opened up about how you feel about me. The feeling is definitely reciprocated. I just need to get to know you a bit more. I told you that. I'm definitely fond of you. I hope you understand the caution.
D
All I wanted was to be closer to you, but I was scared. I was happy you told me how you felt, why didn't go forward with it? Because we both knew that maybe it would hurt us. I lost my head when we started talking less and less, I suffocated you because I felt you slipping away and I didn't want us to go back to those times. I know I made a lot of mistakes and i'm sorry. I hope college is going well. We didn't want to ruin our friendship and now we dont have one. I miss you so much. Good bye.
>>16901422
Dear J,
I don't want to do this anymore. I hate being separated from you, but I know if I live with you again I'm going to hate you. I have to end our relationship. I wanted to marry you but you keep putting your work before us. They don't "need you." I need you...
M
>>16902461
Dear S.
I've loved you forever. I loved your passion and quirkiness. I jet jealous whenever you talk lovingly about your new crush, how you talk up your exes and fuck them. But not me. You never choose me. What did I do wrong? Why can't I let you go...
M.
>>16902468
Dear K,
I miss you. I don't know where you went, but I cannot find you. I've spent days searching, and every few months I look into a private detective service just to find out if you still live. The last time we spoke you were about to go to class in a snow storm... Then never again... What happened?
M.
>>16902414
Initials?
>>16902473
Yours first, please.
>>16902471
Dear MJ,
God damnit. Why did you have to come into my life... Ever since I first saw you, I've loved you. I wanted to make you mine, you're beautiful, you're sweet, and you are so sexy. You're damaged. Damaged by your mom, by your church, and by your taste in terrible men. Chose me, make it easy for me to escape.
Instead you choose God, and you assume I Hate him.
God damnit...
M.
Good morning sweetheart. You are beautiful, the day is brighter for you being part of it
I hope we get to be together over the next few weekends, even though I can't stay in this place
I love you so much, every part of you
Now and always X
>>16902482
Dear F,
Why did your divorce come after we left school? Why couldn't we have figured out what we could have had together? Why did I turn down that position to work with you?
I'm afraid F. I wanted to have someone I could comfort as the love of my life, but instead I think I understand... I want you. I want someone who will work with me, laugh at my jokes and introduce me to better ones. Someone who motivates me to be better. Someone who wants to see me succeed... I just want an easy way out of being with J.
Why won't you answer my calls...
M.
Dear 7,
You're being fuggin' weird dude. I can't tell if you're humblebragging or if you genuinely want to share developments in yourself and life with me at this point. I just can't define your intentions always. I don't do much talking about myself, never did. But I feel a concrete identity forming, and I have things I want to share with you. I just can't find the words when we text. Every time, my mind is lost in those nights I spent awake talking with you.
The first time I considered that simply being happy could be one's purpose was when I was with you. No one is ever going to open their front door and welcome me into their life like that again.
I haven't felt a hug that real since.
I just want to tell you I'd like to give it another try. Not to pick up where we left off, but begin again. I don't need to know why you became so distant previously, I just need to know that you'll stand by me now.
I'd never quit again.
Sincerely at one time yours,
The Spacecowboy.
Dear J,
That one sentence still tears me up inside. I still don't ever want to see you but I miss what we were.
You brought me out of my shell and shaped me as a person more than anyone else, I wish I didn't hate you so much.
Dear P,
It's gotten so easy to fall sleep when you're by my side now. I'd spend everyday with you if I had the option but I'm not about to be needy for attention.
If I could have just one thing of you though, it'd be that my recent medical condition didn't scare you so much. I can't be the support for us both.
Sincerely,
E.
>>16902114
Again, Peg is right on this one.
A,
I need to see you more. I understand that you're busy and you don't feel well, so that's why I don't push this. It means more to me than I let on, but I know that nothing can be done. I know you have your reasons. I know your priority is your future and your career and honestly I'd feel too guilty if you messed any of that up to accommodate me. I'd probably feel just as bad either way, but I'd blame something else. I guess I'll just suck it up until I either get used to it or reach my breaking point. Hopefully it will get better before then. I'm just so sad and lonely. I always feel better when I see you. I wish we could spend nice big chunks of time together. 5 or 6 hours is okay, I guess, but lately it's barely even been that. I know there's no real solution to this, though. That's why I won't bring it up more than I already have.
Love always,
M
P.S. Anytime you just want to hang out, even for a small amount of time or something, that's fine. It doesn't have to be weekends. I'm always willing. I'm not the kind of person to get smothered or sick of someone. The more time I spend with someone the more my love grows. You know that, though.
Josh
Do you have any idea how lovely you are? I'll do anything I can to make you happy. I'm sorry I put too much pressure on myself to be perfect. I'm so glad we talk about things instead of arguing.
I'm really excited for our picnic near the river this afternoon, I hope we get to smoke weed and fuck in the sunshine but I'll be happy no matter what I do so long as you're around !
A
Ps sorry for stroking your cock while you slept last night, you had a hardon and it turned me on too much I couldn't think straight
>>16902493
>>16902482
>>16902471
>>16902468
>>16902461
Dear M, shut the fuck up.
Signed, X.
>>16902792
Last Initials?
I will tell you something, babe.
Your cum tasted so sweet. It was like seafoam or uni.
Lowered expectations, Mirror Mirror so f'ing edgy!
poison or poisen huh?, twit, chill nobody does kool-aid.
T,
<3
D.
I'd got into the habit of telling empty rooms and busy streets that I love you. Enjoying the thrill of speaking your pretty name out loud. Your full name. Sometimes saying my name together with yours, sometimes replacing my surname with your own and liking the sound.
I'd got into the habit of making sure that your name was the first thing I said each morning and the last thing at night - easy to do when you are my first and last waking thought.
I'd got into the habit of writing to you, pouring out my soul, pouring out... all the mundane things that flicker in my head throughout the long days between the bookends of your name.
I'd got into the habit of looking for you everywhere I went.
I'd got into the habit of doing a lot of things that you don't need to know about.
Gradually I am breaking my habits.
I am loosening my grip on the handle of infatuation.
I am pruning here, poisoning there, taming the unruly tree rooted in my heart.
If I seem cold or distant it is because I am trying to stop an inferno from rising up again. If I seem to only pepper you with the banal it is because I am too afraid to talk with you like we used to - I would lose myself in you within three heartbeats. I need to be me; I can't go on just being the shell that holds my raw feeling for you. I can't go on just being awe and desire.
I think that as I gradually knock away the craziness, I have discovered that underneath is a different love for you. A calm, peaceful appreciation of you. This love grows deeper each day. It is too strong to question, yet it lends me strength.
One day everything will be sorted. Everything will be fiiiiiine.
I will love you the way I should. And you will know that you always have my love.
And I won't need to tell the empty rooms or busy streets, because so long as you know then that's enough.
>>16904515
Initials? That was beautiful anon!
To my brothers,
Thank you for accepting me into your house and caring for me. The first week i ever came to college, none of us were ready for my mental breakdown. I love you guys and I would do anything for you.
-PA, brothers
Char,
I love you, i know we have only known each other for 8 months now but you have made such a big impact on my life. You will never know how much i appreciate you and im sorry that i dont talk to you a lot anymore. depression has been kicking my ass. I just want you to know I hope the best for you and thank you for caring about me when no one else did.
Love,
S
Mom + Dad
You guys really fucked up my childhood, that divorce really put a stress on me that no child should feel.
Thanks for being there for me sometimes. I know you guys tried your best and im sorry for cutting you out of my life. I hope everything is going well for you and I hope my sister is doing okay. Shes gonna go far, I hope you guys can see that and you take better care of her than you did for me.
-S
>>16904515
Goddamn I wish this was for me. Any woman would wish it was for her.
Beautiful.
Yo J.
You're a ducking terrible person. The fact that almost 6 years of my life has been wasted and used on you makes me sick to the stomach. All I sacrificed went in vain due to your greed and your lack of sympathy is the embodiment of satan. You're like a terminal disease that I wish I knew about sooner, I would have broken up with you within our first year of dating if I wasn't a retarded 16 year old at the time. You didn't deserve me and you knew it (yes my ego is this ducking big now ) but didn't know it. I hope you're happy chasing after jailbait you shifty gold digger.
P.'s
Tai''s dick is better than yours.
With love, your spiteful slutty ex girlfriend.
M,
some day things will be simple between us again
K
I don't want to say this.
I've repressed it.
We dated for few weeks (months) a year ago.
You were everything I wanted.
But I wasn't what you wanted.
I've changed since. Maybe I am now.
But fuck it.
Here we are now.
I used to be hateful. I used to go jogging past your usual haunt with a face full of anger and resentment.
The truth of the matter is now that I realize that I'm not what you wanted.
I never was.
You wanted someone to say to you that everything was OK.
I wasn't that guy. We both saw the world in the same way. The universe is deterministic. Isn't that hilarious that I feel pain, then?
Anyways, you're doing what you're doing. I'm doing what I'm doing.
And deep inside, I wish I could be with you again.
But I know that that can't be true. Nature of the universe, ya? We're all puppets.
I've joined a gym. I've gotten a better job.
Would that change things, if I dated you a year more future?
Maybe.
I can't tell.
Fuck me, to be honest, I just want to date someone who is you, but isn't. Someone who hasn't judged me lesser.
>>16904515
Oh god you just put whatever it is I've been feeling into words...
K
You selfish son of a bitch. I wish you could just learn to love yourself instead of treating the people who actually love you like shit. Why can't I stop loving you? You're still the first person I want to call when I need someone to talk to(aside from J who's married. Fml) yet I know any conversation with you would be worse than if I didn't talk to you at all. Despite everything I would take you back in an instant if I knew you had changed and actually wanted to right your wrongs. It sucks feeling like after everything, I'm not even worth that much to you and hiding from the world and from yourself is more important. I alternately hope that you come to your senses and that you die in a fire.
M
P,
I love you. Not in a romantic way, but in a way that I really want you to know, but like, it'd be weird to tell you. I just hope my actions and words prove that I value our relationship and that whenever you feel alone, know that I'm always, always here.
M
Caveat: Maybe I should let this person know how much they mean to me? I mean, I love them. But I don't want them to think I'm romantically interested - I'm not.
Fuck off Rachel. I love you. I poured so much of myself into the concept of us and your concept of "trying" was the most minimal amount of reciprocation.
I understand who you are and I accept that. I accept that you're a narcissist. I accept that you have a negative relationship with men, with sex, with your body and most importantly yourself. Being raped at 14, and having had 19 partners at only 19 years old is hard. I am the only person who is and will be that patient with you. No I will not come back. You fucked up. You cut me off and played hot/cold too many times. I will not feed and enable your vicious self destructive habits. You aren't gay, you're just finding alternatives to your negative relationships with men. I fed into that and I won't allow it any more. Find another empathizer to validate you.
I'm not your knight in shining armor. I'm not your cockslut to call on when you're stressed. I'm your partner or nothing, and I choose nothing.
You filled me with the same negativity you filled yourself with. You're infectious. You're a virus. Fix yourself.
Love, C
I'll give it a shot I guess;
I'm sorry about all that shit I did to you. I manipulated you, I pushed you to do things you shouldn't have. I loved you and I still care about you, even though you hate me now. Even though you won't talk to me, it's better that you're happier where you are. I just hope you know that I would've treated you better than him. Goodbye.
>>16905600
You have issues like me. I hope you figure it out. I sure don't know how. I only want her to accept me as her partner.
>>16905675
Initials?
>>16905822
To E
Sincerely, A
Dear C,
You whinge about your kids but you're practically ditching them all the time now. I told you that having kids was a bad idea, but you were just lonely and selfish. Now look at the shit you're in. Mark is a no good druggo like Luke, can't you just fuck someone without the emotional attachment?
C,
I'm sick of your shit. Clean up the house while I'm gone. I'm going to block your number and act like my phone is broken so I can have some peace for two weeks and not have you beg me for money.
Z,
Why aren't you putting out? And what do you really think of me?
N,
You're lazy as fucking shit. Why the fuck do you even work here? Seriously, you are 21 and still an emo fuckhead. Grow out of it and get some work ethics. You're seriously so fucking lazy.
A,
Stop dealing drugs at work. Stop going through my bag when you think I'm not around. Are you flirting with me? I'll take half ounce, some tabs and maybe the pills but keep the rest to yourself. I'm sick of hearing about it.
To B
I miss you and think of you a lot lately, wondering how you are doing with school. Just I've been too afraid to reach out to you since I'm afraid you would think I was being creepy. I miss when we used to talk a lot more.
M
Hey, vittoria
Been 91 days
Miss you dearly
I miss you and i want to hug you again but I know if I do i won't be able to let go and I really need to let go for good and move on but I can't I love you and miss you
I know you didn't love me and I know you didn't mean to hurt me, and I didn't mean to hurt you and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for what I did
I miss you but I don't blame you for getting out when you did, it was the smart thing to do
Best of luck to you? All that's left for me to do is find someone like you
I keep trying but it just isn't there for me anymore, I'm not confident
I bet it all on you and I lost and that's life, cest la vie, it is what it is
From someone who misses you
>>16905675
>I manipulated you
>I pushed you to do things you shouldn't have
>I would've treated you better than him
Maybe not, champ.
Will,
I have a lot to say but mostly I just hope you're taking care of yourself.
Thank you for being my friend, I hope we cross paths again.
Marfie
>>16901617
Tiffany?
>>16901422
dear ____,
you looked like a total shithead the first time i saw you in 7th grade. every girl was so into you because you were a 'bad boy' and i didn't want anything to do with it, especially when you were looking goofy as fuck trying to be a "rapper" or something. at some point i did get a weird crush on you, that really pissed me off because i knew mentally i just wanted to fit in with my friends.
but... 8th grade came and things started getting weird. my friend and i had a sleepover and she had your aim screenname and i added you to troll you or something a dumb 14 year old would do, but eventually we started having real conversations
nothing exceptional honestly, but we did talk for a long time about stuff. i knew you had issues with your life at home and you didn't need to tell me about them, i just sort of understood because i was going through it too.
we never talked in person though, except for a few times with few words because i was very shy even though once i did try to beat you up, but i kinda just pushed you up against a locker for memeing on me... i guess it was flirting and you didn't seem to think i was really going to beat you up anyway since you kinda laughed about it and shook your head
that stuck out to me because i did beat up a lot of other kids in school because i had no control over my temper, but i felt like he just knew i wasn't going to
in 9th grade we moved to high school and i had only 1 class with you, before we had pretty much all of them together because we were in a group for "troubled kids"
we were still talking over aim, but rarely
i was okay with the distance because i would spend a long time typing in the type box trying to say the right things each time
in 9th grade i started failing all of my classes and was diagnosed with clinical depression, mostly because of the abuse i was dealing with at home, so i decided to drop out because i couldn't function
(cont)
>>16905905
we hadn't talked in a while but i found out you were dropping out too, and we talked about it
i told you to get your GED and i don't know if i actually convinced you to or not, or if you already made the decision and were humoring me
we still didn't talk even then, we didn't have GED class together but i did see you at the bus stop to get there
anyway, i don't know how you felt about me at all. i thought it was interesting that a few years later when i moved away, you wanted to come hang out with me even though i told you i had a boyfriend
you happened to move to the same state as me, i feel like we had a lot of weird coincidences like that
but we never met up, mostly because i was already in a relationship and partially because... i don't know
i'm 24 now and i don't think we've talked in a few years but i see you posting on facebook and you seem to be doing alright
you seem happier than you did before
i still have weird dreams about you sometimes, which is why i'm writing this i guess
i don't know if you knew or ever will know that i had a crush on you, or how you felt about me but i always felt a weird deep connection with you that i could never explain
thanks for existing through some of the toughest years of my life,
______
Dear, Cock Destroyer
I hope our relationship isn't just sex and actually means something. But, if it is give me a sign.
From, Little Dick Faggot.
R,
I love you and as selfish as this sounds I secretly hope you end up having to stay an extra semester longer so I have that much more time to be to be with you, especial after he leaves this spring.
L
M,
I'm going to see you soon. You have absolutely no idea how much it means to me that you made time to meet up and chat. I shouldn't be looking forward to it so much, but I am and I feel like it will be good to talk to someone who has no filter. You don't mean to be, but you're actually pretty hard on people, and it will be hard but helpful that you won't coddle me when I talk to you about this. Also good to talk to someone who actually knows what they're talking about.
I'm sorry I hide so much of myself. I have a difficult time valuing myself aside from academics, which is almost like intentionally setting myself up for failure. I do realize that. I don't know how to change that though. This is why I believe people need hobbies, and many of them. When you're good at something, even if it's just something obscure or useless, at least you can say "I can do ___ well." But for me, all I focus on is the fact I'm constantly trying to not fail out of school. First the initial attempt, and now this second attempt. And I just feel horrible about it all the fucking time. It's so much worse now than it was. Who the fuck thought I could have lower self esteem than before? There are no magic pills. There is no magic study method. There's just each individual person and their life circumstances, and for some people like me, so much shit has been out of my control. I can't change the fact W commit suicide and T had an aneurysm. L's Alzheimers is going on twelve years now. It's easier than it used to be, but I shouldn't really compare then and now, because what happened back then is what fucked me up now. I can't go visit her this week because I have too much work to do, which I feel guilty about but there's no way around it.
I wish someone could tell me life gets better. Someone who knows. I want to know this is going to get better. I'm so tired of trying to make it through the bad days, only to find tomorrow is worse than yesterday.
>>16901422
Dear N,
I won. The war is over. Though at immense personal cost, I saw it through to the bitter end. You sat at my desk and bold faced told me your intentions to destroy me. You expected me to crack and fold under the pressure like so many others before. After knowing me for some many years, you of all people should know that my finest hour is when I am faced with a hopeless situation.
You mistook my desire to live a quiet life for weakness. Instead of you breaking me, I broke you. My victory was absolute. You had to leave town and change personas. I warned you against this path. You should have listened to me.
I'll always wonder what drove you to that course of action. Perhaps not even you know. I should thank you for reminding of what I am made of. I had almost forgotten what it was like to face adversity.
I hope your new life is going well and that you've found peace. If not, one day you may cross a person who will finish the job in a more permanently manner than myself.
Sincerely,
B
>>16905863
You fucking lied to me. Which brings into question everything you've ever said to me.
Don't ever contact me again and stay the fuck away from me at school.
You're acting extremely self-righteous. I don't understand how you don't see that what you do is wrong and fucked up. You don't get to treat me like that. It's obviously only directed at me. You don't even realize how obvious it is to others as well. I don't understand your thought process and what you think you're doing will accomplish. I have spent time trying to understand what you're thinking when you act that way. But honestly I can't find one logical conclusion. You are the opposite of what you think you are. It's so fucking odd.
>>16904515
Holy fuck if someone said this to me, I'd marry them.
>>16904532
Written for TB. Written here because things are out of control and I am a crazy person with an unhealthy obsession. Despite that, though, I am hopeful for the future.
>>16906297
Really? I think that if I said this to her she would run a mile.
Dear V
Why the fuck aren't you letting me in? We've talked for a while, you get upset when I have sex with other women but you're allowed to have sex with your ex? We're not even dating because you want to take things slow, which I'm on board with, but this back and fourth burying your head in my chest one minute then saying we need "boundaties" is throwing me off. Telling me that you really like me then saying if we're not an item then it's because the universe is such a cop out.
I know you've been through a lot and you even asked your friends if you should let your walls down, but I really enjoy hanging out with you and being around you is the most normal feeling I've had since before my ex cheated on me and left. Not to compare you to her, but you make me feel content with things and confident in myself and we go and have tons of fun.
This sucks.
>>16906384
Bounce. She doesn't want you. You're just an easy source of validation. I just broke up with my not gf because of this.
>>16906457
having trouble calling her your ex tho?
>>16906342
Is this from DC?
Dear ___,
I don't think I'm made for love, which is strange considering I thought you were why I was alive.
I don't want to spend time around you or anyone.
I don't want to eat.
I wish I could sleep and I wish I had an immediate, self fulfilling, independent exit plan.
I guess you're a stepping stone.
Dear T,
I don't want my time anymore.
I only want to work. I want to work, and work, and work. I want to work enough and more to have met you years ago, before you became the adult that I should have been. I want to work until I die and find you in another lifetime to know you again. I want us to cross paths first when it happens.
I love how good things are for you. I love your husband and everything he is, and how inexplicably right it all feels. I love that you're exactly where you should be. There's no way or reason for me to be involved, and beyond my most distant, ephemeral, unreachable dreams, I still got to be your friend. And it happened in such a small way.
You are something I could never imagine. I still have trouble reaching myself, my patterns have all changed. You will always be this incredible, unfathomable force that is too strong for me to hold back from. I'm sure things will continue for both of us in divergent ways. I'm sure after a lifetime, I'll be somewhere else, lost in ordinary thought. I'm sure after everything comes to it's inevitable end and we restart, I will make the same mistakes. If I do, please, find me again.
Scared for the first time to know another person,
-T
Dear Dad,
I wish I could have met you.. Not just for the obvious reasons but for some selfish ones too. I would have been a different person if you hadn't died, almost certainly a better one. If everything happens for a reason, what reason could be justified in creating a short and shitty cycle that you put us both in.
I'll see you soon... Or probably not. I am not a believer after all.
Why start now?
>>16902012
Troll or tard? Who knows?
>>16906748
Oh, whoops, I didn't notice your name. Sorry for the confusion.
Lots of negate thoughts here today
I still love you
More, actually
I'd move on without you
Even though it hurts me
I let you go
A long time ago
Let us drift
I thought it was how you wanted
I never got over it
I waited to see if you'd come back to me
It wasn't a test or a show
Fears realised, and hiding deepest selves
As we merged nearer
Real as you know
We were brilliant
It's who we are together
I never found it anywhere else
Can we be, again?
>>16902526
J's last initial?
K,
I'm sorry you're hurting. I want to make you feel better somehow but we've grown apart.
Father,
Your pathetic attempts to rekindle our relationshio are too little, too late. You don't just pack up and leave because 'Mum would get you locked up'. If you weren't a violent drunk who could control himself you wouldn't have gotten into any shit. Don't get your mother to tell me that you love me everytime she sees me, you could have told me yourself if you had even bothered. Don't ever try to speak to me or my family again, and leave my sister alone, she hates you more than I do.
Fuck off,
Brodie
I failed a suicide attempt yesterday. It hurts too much to live knowing you were always lying, so I'll have another go tonight, and tomorrow as well.
>>16906799
initials?
>>16906987
How do you fail at suicide? It really isn't hard.
Bestfriend,
Hey
Me
>>16906987
Don't let a lying loser have that much control over you. Stop letting life be about them--your life is about YOU. So come dance in the rain and explore the world with the rest of us.
>>16906611
If DC stands for delusional creep, then sure - why not.
>>16901422
L,
You stole my 2.5 years of being capable to think about something more than just you back in junior high. I don't know why I chose you, you really didn't show me that much of interest, nor did I. It would've been a sensation if I did, moreover I'd break some friendships with classmates of that time. These are the same classmates you did show interest to, hence making the situation even worse to me.
I thought I'd never forget the little distance two of us walked to the bus stop back in 7th grade, you can't imagine how euphoric I was. I can't either. Perhaps your absence faded my delusional and exhausting thoughts and emotions about you? If so, it's only for the good. I believe my feelings towards you would renew if we were associated again and in that case - so would the history - the agony I've gone through.
R.
I regret opening my heart to you, and I regret giving my heart to you.
I relapsed, again, because of you.
>>16907031
What initial do you want it to be from?
>>16907375
the same initial as about 85% of everyone else wants
>>16907367
how?
Just wanted to say, I wrote in a thread of the same topic a week or two back on /soc/, a letter to my ex gf. Well, I got the chance to tell her a couple of days ago.
So I just wanted to say that it's worth it to articulate yourselves in these threads and define your feelings that you wanna express, because you might eventually get a chance to actually express them.
Stay strong, anons.
>>16907393
Which is?
>>16907410
oh somewhere abouts the middle of the alphabet
>>16907375
Sneaky, but I'm not telling. I'm curious whether it's from 'my' person, but if you don't want to tell... Well, what can I do?
>>16907395
How what?
Dear A,
I don't know what happened between us. I like you so much, and you liked me back. I'm not mad that you broke up with me, just so confused and regretful. I want to know what I did wrong, what I could have done to make you stay, but you'll never tell me. I just wish I could turn back time and fix things between us, I know I was shy, I know I was slow, and I know I can fix those mistakes. I just hope one day, you'll give me another shot, you have no idea how much you mean to me.
>>16907399
I actually find that writing to people on here and/or venting on the GIOYC threads, and then reading them to my psychologist is really helpful. I also write a shit ton of notes in my phone and later show my psychologist too.
Mainly because it's easier for me to express myself and how I feel/think about things via writing, and I suck at daily journaling; so whenever I'm really upset/frustrated/angry/anxious/even really happy, I'll write a note in my phone and sometimes post it on here, and then later read it to my psychologist if it's relevant to that session.
Out of all the stress relieving techniques I've tried (a lot), writing is hands down one of the best.
Little sister
I was so happy to hear that your doing better I actually shed tears for the first time in a long time. Keep on the path little sis. I'm sure it will have its ups and downs but stay strong. Maybe you will slip up here or there, it's to be expected. Just don't let that slip up turn into falling back into that hole you were in. Your not going to get there in a day. I love you and know you can beat it.
Little brother
I wish there was someway to make you see how you are affecting the ones that love you. I wish you would have at least said goodbye before you left. I hope you find the help you need. I'm glad I at least got to meet you at any rate. Take care of yourself. It may not seem like it but I do love you. I just don't like to show it because I'm so used to taking advantage of it. Please do something to beat your addiction. I really don't want to hear that you died from an overdose. You could be so much more than this.
Big brother
>>16907478
I think it's because writing something down gives it definition. You can have thoughts and feelings, but you can second guess them and over think them.
If you write them down, they have permanency, which then strengthens how you feel, and gives you clarity.
Keep it up, having an outlet or two is always a good thing.
>>16907478
Writing helps me a lot. More than talking to someone, as I can take my time and figure out what I'm saying.
I mean, yeah, a lot of what I write in here is NOT carefully considered - and would earn me a slap at the very least from the person/people I'm writing "to".
But this isn't a problem. Anonymity ftw. Go ahead and guess my initials, see if that will ever stop me.
Getting the unhelpful thoughts out is useful. Clarifying what I actually believe is useful. Being able to brain-dump without irritating another human being with my ridiculousness is useful. Selecting all the images with waffles is useful. Entertaining that one anon who has been stalking me is... Ok, that's not useful for ME, but still.
These are my favourite threads, both from a personal perspective, and from reading what everyone else writes.
Yep.
>>16907468
Initials?
>>16907522
- thinks someone is stalking them via these letter threads
- acts like they don't write/read these threads just to look for confirmation of this fantasy
-doesn't understand that reading/writing in these threads is the very definition of stalking
>>16907623 (Love) (Us)
>>16905905
>>16905942
copy paste this in private on Facebook
T
I used to dream about you a lot. Or rather, you'd be in my dreams. Not the focus of any dream, just there, with me, and it felt unremarkably normal that you were there. Until I woke, of course, and wondered what you were doing in my dream where you're not supposed to be.
Then, I didn't dream about you for ages.
Recently you have started to show up again. So: hello. Why are you back? Please tell me so that I can understand.
You are welcome in my dreams any time.
Hey grandpa,
I don't know when I started to hate you. I don't know why I hate you. I don't know why I want to throw up every time you hug me. I don't know why I feel compelled to wear baggy clothes that cover me up. I don't know why sitting next to you at the dinner table is like running my nails down a chalkboard, getting worse and worse until I scarf down my food just to get away from the feeling of panic and being trapped. I don't know why you're in so many of my molestation dreams. I can't remember if anything happened to me, and if something did then I can't remember who.
But if something did happen to me, and it was you, I will kill you.
E
Dear L,
It hurts that after you shut me down last year you went for another guy. A senior (in university) and we're just sophomores. I've been so alone and it sucks that I only run into closed doors now. You said you wanted to hang out more but it's hard to look at you sometimes. When we hung out yesterday, alone, I had hopes that maybe I could re-kindle something. Finding out you already surpassed a one year anniversary with that dude left me shocked. I feel hopeless and betrayed. I'm trying to be positive and happy for you, but it's hard. I just want to be happy myself.
I really hope you're happy,
A
>>16907657
Ah... halfway house love! Always touching when "troubled kids" find each other years later and become "troubled adults" that have more "troubled kids" to continue the cycle of petty crime and drug use.
I hate you today. I really hate you and I want to hurt you like you hurt me. I want to make you nervous and then tell you to stop saying your sorry or i'll kick you out of my house. I want to get you high and then keep asking you to "CALM DOWN!"I want to reject you and make you cry and then yell at you for crying. I want to ignore you completely when I see you. I want to pull away from you and walk off with someone else if you try to hug me.
>>16907526
Haven't done this before, but her initials are AZ.
Dear A,
The past 2 months have been really hard for me. And I know they have been hard for you. But I wonder if you really feel like putting up 100 ft walls and acting apathetic is helping either of us. You caught me in a white lie and I think you over reacted by throwing the 2 years we had together away, but I'm done trying to change your mind. I need closure. And if you won't talk to me, it's only a matter of time before we bump into one another around the neighborhood. Oh, and I finally landed that transfer to a different location at work, you know, the location that is next door to your work that you have been pushing me to get for the past year. So you might want to open lines of communication before this gets really awkward. I still care for you, but this is just childish.
Oh... and I'd like to see my fucking dog, please.
C
T,
I think about you most days. I shouldn't come around anymore, but I'm tempted to see how far I can push myself without losing my mind again.
I miss you, and I miss what we had.
T
Anyone ever read these and hope someone is writing about them?
>>16908117
Yes
But that's because I miss it.
>>16907968
That's not very nice, thanks a fucking-lot
Hey, you're on my mind a whole lot. I really do hope that you are doing well. I'll always be here for you. I know some people, friends, and family are bad... But that's not me. I promise. Text me if you need anything.
Hey you, changed your mobile? I'd email, but long old time that takes
Love you
He was a shit friend in the end and he will not be missed. In the mean time I'm preparing and biding my time. I may not know everything but I know enough to know that the only loyal and loving thing I have in my life isn't human.
I am an anon that has written a lot of bitter letters here recently about someone I have obscure but sincere feelings for who (obviously as I'm sitting here alone writing this instead of having sex with him) doesn't care a bit about me and most likely finds me a great nuicance in his life.
I'm guessing that there's many other anons who can relate to this, but hopefully their aren't many who carry it to the extreme I have in the past couple days. See -- I'm BPD and I'm triggered plus I got some real shit popping in my family life that makes it easier to dwell on this particular relationship fail than that great and tragic one.
I'm really wanting to stop coming here to stab blindly with my poison pen a person who in all likelihood has never read any of these threads and most certainly hasn't written in any of them and almost definitely not about me. I'm borderline but I'm not stupid or narcissist. At the end of the day I know that I'm not going to sleep with him in my arms. I'm not going to ever be able to love him in my way, or any way. Not even just because he can't stand me, but also because anything between us is impossible in ways that not even the strongest love could ever overcome. This I know. This I KNOW.
So IF this person, by pure chance happened to recognize me on this forum and hate me for it, I have to say to them - I am sorry. What I've done here has been as wrong and stupid as anything I ever dared to do. The only thing I've been able to do is try to hide my feelings from you in "real life" but if I didn't even do that -- please don't hate me. Please don't hate me. I have enough self-conrtrol to behave myself around you in public in future but please know that I know this is wrong.
>>16908254
This was one of my letters to him. I"m sorry. I don't mean it. I could never ever stand to see you hurt, because I know you've been hurt before.
I think it's time to end my life. I need peace.
Mom
Thanks for being there for me when I didn't have anyone else. I love you and always will.
Dad
Sorry for always being a disappointment.
S&K
I'll miss you bros. All my best memories are with you.
SG
I hope I'll get you in the next life.
S
>>16908335
Oh er, sorry.
>>16906606
We were fuckbuddies. We both had feelings but she's damaged beyond belief. To a reasonable person the situation would be that we dated. We never applied labels past fuckbuddies.
B,
I wish I had an excuse to talk to you. I wish I wasn't this socially retarded.
D
>>16908317
Initials?
>>16908540
You can guess if you want.
>>16908551
Well what about Initials for the person you're writing to ?
Even though you could never accept the true me, and I wished I have met your older self, the warm innocence of our online conversations strengthen my faith in humanity.
>>16908560
Nah... Take a guess or don't, your choice, mate.
I don't want to be afraid any more.
Life has passed me by. The things that I have now are not the things that I need. They are barely even the things that I want. I let myself die so many small deaths. I compromised one hundred percent. I was never that proud of myself, but now I don't even like myself.
Except when I'm with you.
Dull. That's what I am. Dull and dolorous. It pains me to see that yes, you could make my life amazing - but no, I have nothing to offer you. So much of myself that has slipped away... perhaps before I let those small deaths happen you might have at least been able to respect me. But we will never know, because I am as I am now. I don't think there's any way back. It's all downhill from here.
I am ashamed of the decisions that I've made to arrive Here. I am terrified to go forwards into this future of mounting regret. Time hurts me as it passes and I do not want to be afraid any more.
I do not want to lose you, but I know that you're already gone and it's me that is lost.
I'm afraid to admit that to myself.
I'm afraid to live my life.
I am a coward and a fool. I am a greedy tar-baby. I am deceitful and unfaithful and the taste of my own words makes me wretch. I am sorry that I brought this to you to lay at your feet. I am sorry for letting you pick my burden up. I am selfishly sorry that you put it back down again.
There is nothing good to be said here. I shall keep my silence and wait for you to walk far enough away that you are no longer in my shadow.
I don't want to be alone. Being with you is the only time I feel connected. Being with you is the time that I feel the most alone.
I blew it.
Goodbye.
>>16907722
What is your initial?
>>16908731
You are asking because you know that you have inserted yourself into someone's dreams, and you want to check if that person is this person?
Bizarre.
>>16908816
Just curiousity. Sorry if that's bizarre. I'm one of the millions of t's out there.
>>16908834
Stay curious, T. Stay curious.
Oh, wait, if it IS you I'll say hello to you tonight. How will I recognise you? Do you have any distinguishing features or unusual items of clothing or jewellery that you wear when people are dreaming about you?
>>16901422
You who I talked to on skype everytime around 10pm till around 2am for a nice period of time until you suddenly disappeared a month ago.
I just hope you didn't kill yourself or something like that, still if you really stopped talked to me for whatever reason I wish you would have told me so I could have put my hearth at peace. I really looked forward to talking to you everytime and I still hope to talk to you again one day.
I just hope you're doing fine.
A,
Remember that list you told me to make for when you came to visit? I wrote all sorts of stuff for us to do? I did most of those things alone this past week. You would have left earlier today, and we would have seen each other in 2 months at your graduation and celebrated. In 2 days we would have been together for 21 months. Instead we haven't talked for 2 weeks and I'll probably never see you again. I'm doing better than I was, but last month still doesn't make any sense to me. I don't know why you'd hurt me like this, and I doubt I'll ever know.
C
A...
I can't blame you. You are only doing what you believe is right. And that's all I can ask anyone to do.
But I guess this hurts me the most because you won't even want to give us a chance. I wasn't asking for us to become anything. I just wanted to check with you because I value you so much. I understand that you don't have a romantic connection with me. But... I didn't have a romantic connection with you at first. And I guess why it hurts is you don't even want to take a chance.
R.
N,
I don't know what the future holds for us. I told you last night that I had waited two years for you, and now that you're here I'm finally happy. But i'm afraid i'm going to forget the lessons I've learned in the past and end up pushing you away or becoming someone you shouldn't know. I quit drinking, I got in shape, I'm going back to college, among other things. I did these because I want to be the person you deserve. But i'm scared that I may not be up to the task. I'm afraid you're stooping down out of your league for me, and your friends will tell you one day that you could do better than me.
I guess i'm rambling on now, but I want you to know that i've thought about you just about every day for the last two years, and that the only time i'm happy through and through is when i'm with you.
-N
Dear 'rene,
I kinda miss you sometimes. Even though you destroyed me. Everything happens for a reason, right?
I wonder where everyone went. I wonder who else ended up here.
Picky
>>16908930
What's your last initial? Is it c again?
>>16909030
S
I try to make these pretty specific so I'm not asked for initials every time but somehow I always am.
R,
I really love you but I so often feel like you forget that we're a couple. I know you have a lot on your plate, but it would be nice to hear from you first from time to time. I feel kind of lonely.
>>16901422
Dear Jesus
Please stop putting Your winkie in my ear and Your thumb in my poo hole while i'm asleep. I don't want to be an homogay :-(
T,
You have no idea of taste or enjoyment of anything in your life beyond what your penis reacts to and what food will kill you the fastest. You refuse to believe you do any wrong or that there is a better way to go about things than your way. You are an egomaniac and I don't know how you got that way with such a fucked up childhood and getting shit on by every slutty, cheating girl you were ever with. Maybe your self-hate is so internalized that you became narcissistic because the reality of how much you hate yourself is too much for you to bear. But I doubt it, because your big fucking head is too real, your smug face is too genuine.
It is the only genuine thing about you, really.
I want to be there for you, I want you to be there for me in return, I want to be the rock that keeps you grounded in reality and reminds you what is good about being alive. Because while you may not be, I am the person who would be willing to do that for you.
But you drag me down. Everything about you drags me down. I can't do it anymore. I want stability but you're like an anchor being dropped into the middle of a bottomless vortex. I can't do it anymore. You are no good for yourself, and never were, so why would you think you could be good for someone else? You always fed me the line of shit that I needed to focus on myself, but you're the one that needs to worry about picking up your own pieces first. Can't even buy yourself a pair of pants that fit because you think it's a waste of money when you could be buying a new part for the computer that you don't use for anything except cartoon porn and shitty video games.
Everything is not somebody else's fault or responsibility. You drag your feet and then act surprised, and pretend like me and other people are hanging off your ankles. The one shuffling and whining is you. Having a shit job and a driver's license does not mean you are golden. Take control of your life. You are shameful.
I hate you. You hurt me more than anyone ever has. I was violently raped. I was beaten by my father. The first man I ever dated, shortly after being raped, cheated on me with my best friend. The next man I dated died of a heroin overdose when he went back to an addiction I never knew he had. You hurt me the most.
I never believed in love before you. You made me believe. I was happy for the first time in my life. You treated me well, and you were intelligent and kind. I got you a job at my company. I furnished a beautiful apartment. I paid for the down payment on your car. I kept up my appearance. I was happy to, because these were our things and our future.
Why did you string me alone for four years? Why did you have so little regard for me that you would sleep with girls I work with? I can never work there again. I can never trust again. Not romantically, but not friends, either. Friends who looked me in the eye and smiled every day, and knew. Why couldn't it have just been girls I didn't know? At least 5 that you'll admit to. In the course of our relationship, you slept with more people than I have in my entire life.
Being wrong hurts the most. I'll never believe I'm right again. I've lost everything. No job, can't afford my beautiful apartment, no family, no friends. I'm going to kill myself, not because I can't be with you, because you're a monster, but because nothing will ever be right again.
B,
I'm falling for you and it's fucking terrifying. You're so far away, physically and mentally, and I'm so emotional unavailable. But you make me feel so differently than I've ever felt before. If I could, I would show you love in every way I know how. I'd pick up my life and bring myself halfway across the world to you. But I'm so scared of getting fucked over in the end, I know you can do better than settle for me.
I think about you all the time. I hope you think about me.
Dear Dad,
I'm sorry I was a disappointment to you through out your life. I always felt you were ashamed of me and wished you had a better son. The last time you saw me, I was some weird kid with no friends. Now you will never see how much I've changed. I'm sorry for causing you grief.
Your son
Baby Sister,
I love and miss you more than anything and I'm lost and pretty much dead without you. The earliest memory I have is of holding you when you were just born, and how I knew you were special from the moment I laid my eyes on you. I remember not being able to stop sliding down the slide at the park with you, beating that boy up who used to pull your hair, you growing up too fast, too fast....I wanted to keep you little!...then of course our rebellious teenage years. Smoking blunts and drinking at the same park on Friday nights (with fuckboy of course). Botswana!!!! The times at the beach with the gang. You driving that piece of trash car you insisted on me buying for you off Luke for like half a g. I said I was expecting you to pay me back but of course I wasn't. Working at Sheldon's, you and that gosh darn sprayer... midget trousers ;) Making promises to never lose touch when I went off to college--...i thought you were being so silly...you somehow knew didn't you, you always had that sense, i swear......--the look in your eyes when I left. Well, I'm keeping good on that promise. I love you so much. See you in heaven, little one.
Mike <3
>>16909549
Wow, that hit me like a train. I'm so sorry for your loss.
>>16902972
Uhh who do you want it to be for?
H,
I miss you so much. I cant stop thinking about you and what we could have had. Ive never felt like this before and its crazy. Im not sure if i hate you or love you
Either way take care
J
Roy Mayweather,
You are a mean guy but you are really good at boxing.
-I
D.
When I told you I could get in serious trouble with you, it was because I didn't want you to stop. But was too shy to actually say it.
D.
Dear C
I have no sympathy left. I used to think you walked on water, but all your flaws are so obvious to me now. It's amazing and beautiful that I put up with you for what is almost 10 years.
I'm done taking care of you. Never again. The next three months will be hard, but then I will be free. I don't know about you, but I don't care too much. I don't know how you'll pay the rent, but I'm starting to think it's not my job to figure that out. Maybe I should just leave in the middle of the night.
I'm done with you undermining my confidence. I'm done with your apolitical chauvinism. I'm done with the path of least resistance. I'm done with feeling sorry and I'm done with you, and everyone else, getting in the way of my happiness and success. I'm ready for a life that doesn't have anything to do with you.
I'll think back to what you gave me, but there's more to me than you.
I
>>16909313
Your initial?
>>16909660
last initial?
I'm so tired of everything around me. I know I may not be the best person or the most innocent person, but I know for sure that I try my very best. I always get treated like shit by you and since you met him it's only been worse. You would never talk to me the way you do now if it wasn't for him. He's a piece of shit and clearly doesn't like me, but you're too blind to see it because God forbid you're alone again. You'll take anyone that's willing to tolerate you because you're almost 40 and still never married. I'm the only one you have and you're the only one I have, so maybe instead of being a cunt constantly to me and trying to get under my skin, maybe you should open your eyes and see that not everything is my fucking fault. If you truly want to be with a man that's 40 and still a store clerk at a grocery store then go right ahead. You two fucking belong together.
>>16909687
I don't really want to say, I'm scared you're actually my B. What do you hope my initial is?
L,
I wish I had met you sooner. Had I known you existed, I would never have gotten married. I wish I believed in some form of religion, so that I could convince myself that my mistake is a single blip in a single life, and I'd catch you in the next one. But I guess I'm glad that we crossed paths anyway, even if it isn't meant to be.
-E
>>16904864
right in the feels
>>16904515
Is someone cutting onions?
>>16909577
Are you c?
>>16905901
Not even close. :(
C,
You are not the man I fell in love with. You're just a little boy who wants to take his ball and go straight home. I miss the person I fell in love with. I miss the person who fell in love with me. He was so sweet, and kind. Loving, and attentive. Patient, and beautiful. He was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The person I wanted to give my first to. Everything I had ever hoped for.
But now? You're just a fat, ugly motherfucker. Self-absorbed, egomaniacal, selfish, fuckshit. And I can't believe I still love you.
As for your new chickadee? I hope she invites you over so you can watch her fuck her husband.
I don't know what to do about us. Should I pursue it? Should I leave it be and part ways keeping things how they once were before we met? You are a beautiful person and we seemed to hit it off. If it wasn't for my group taking forever to show up we would of never met and I would still be the same awkward guy whose more concerned about my GPA & getting my degree.
I am not sure what to do, I know I am not going to come off as a try hard and blurt bullshit like hey I like you. But at the same time I want to show you I am interested. I just want to know if you were just being nice or do you see me as an option? So many questions rattle across my mind I want some sort of answer but its probably for the best if I keep quiet & go back to studying.
Just enjoy your life I am going to sit this one out and make myself scarce. It is for the best if I go back to the library to do my homework. I am not one to cause drama or anything and I don't want to make things awkward.
we dated for two months two years ago. you moved away and moved on quick. in another cruel twist I ended up moving less than two hours away from your new city. but it was too late. you probably found a girl who had a 'direction in life'. yeah i know, who could blame you? unmedicated neet. if I had made better choices in my life we would have never met. ~that's just life~ is tough to swallow.
i met someone else at my gym and I dated him just to unstick my mind from you. I told myself a whole lot of lies and he told me a lot of lies, manipulated, and hurt me. i stayed for a year and a half just existing on the hopes that he would be a good man like the glimpses I saw. I broke it off because he threatened me. I stayed inside my house for an entire week. I was worried he would come to my workplace and corner me or make a scene.
he would call my phone a hundred times a day, mail stuff to my house, email me, blow up my social media. he googled my parents and called my dad. messaged my Internet bestie. I told him many times to not contact me anymore. I had to give his family a heads up before i broke it off because I was afraid of what he would do if no one knew.
I read the book of fear and it was so fucked up that he fit the psychopath profile almost perfectly. and I was his prey because I ignored my gut feelings. now he's content to harass me indefinitely.
in the wake of a shitty emotionally abusive relationship and future long term harassment I miss you again just as bad as the day I stepped out of your truck for the last time. this feels so unhealthy. I'm down in Florida visiting which is really not helping the feels.
maybe I'll find something else distracting. not another guy this time. kinda laugh/cry imagining you reading this train wreck and saying oh kaowen im sowwy in that voice. you wouldn't tho. it's really just fucking gone and I fucked up big time trying to fill the gap.
>>16910126
you type like my Ex and if you are her I probably live 2 hours away since thats the distant in time it takes to visit my hometown. and if it is you sorry I got jealous I heard rumors you were seeing someone else and it hurt me. I didn't want an argument and I told you to just go. If you are her I want to say I would like to reconnect
I wish I knew what you were thinking kylea, I still have feelings for you even though you left me the day after Christmas, I helped you and you helped me to become better but after you left me I feel so lonely. I'm scared to contact you because I don't want to hurt you or make you feel miserable. Some nights I have nightmares about you being with other people even though our relationship is over I still feel like my heart belongs to you. We were only together for a year but I deeply wish it was longer. I didn't matter how broken you said you were because I thought one day we could both be happy together. I don't know why you left so soon but I wish you came back. My heart feels like it's bleeding when I try to forget about you.
>>16909820
What does that even mean?
Pretty sure the answer is no.
>>16910162
I feel pretty down today because I had a nightmare where you told me you found someone else, sadly to say I checked her Facebook and found out my fear was real. I don't know how Facebook exactly works but maybe she never left her Facebook relationship with me.
>>16910147
im probably not her. he's 2 hours away from the new city I moved to, we both are 12+ hours from "home"
>>16910163
you never had your eyes tear up cutting onions??
>>16910204
Sure.
So, the answer is no. That was easy.
>>16910176
Can anyone explain to me why I get horrible nightmares about my ex even though I don't see her at all. I'm not sure if it's natural because it just depresses me, I think it's because I think about her still some nights before I sleep but I'm not sure how to clear my mind of her.
>>16910213
i dunno i had nightmares with a couple exes. Maybe it's like withdrawal from a person instead of a drug. I was pretty much guaranteed to have another nightmare the next night after letting one ruin my whole day.
I want to throw everything away to pursue you instead. My one big gamble, with a chance to be truly happy.
Three things prevent me. A sense of duty to my current life. Fear. Belief that I would never make you happy.
So I will never take that step. Why is it so difficult to stop daydreaming about it? Stupid, stupid.
sara,
you're a dick. all you needed to do was tell me you weren't interested. i have feelings, you know?
Dear Molly, you were my girl for about a month, three years ago! Why the hell do I still think about you so warmly? I always go back to thinking about you no matter what, and it's crazy. I was never in love with you, but that month we spent together was the last time I remember being truly happy. I mean, I recently got happy again. My depression is over, but my life was so much more happy when I had you, and the months following.
It's stupid because I ended it, and I'm with a great girl now, and you're with a cool dude.
You're across the country, I'm certain you never think of me. I mean, all the convos we've had the past 3 years were initiated by me, but you did feel strongly for me back then, and that's so weird for me to think about.
Because now you're a stranger, and you're the girl I sometimes think about every day, and I don't know why, and it makes me feel like a huge asshole. I cannot fucking help it. I don't want to be your man, but I always will have feelings for you? I always think how happy I would be if I saw you in person and if you were excited.
I want these thoughts to stop, but how? I've not been in your life for some time, so why do you occupy my mind???
-stupid Californian boy
>>16910308
Damn, are you me?
>>16910508
Pretty sure that I'm not you. What are your initials?
Dear Vanessa,
Thank you for breaking my heart and sending me into a downward spiral. In a way, I absolutely needed it. You were the third relationship I'd been in that I considered serious in my life and yet, the first woman, who wasn't my mother, that I said, " I love you." I still fucking remember the day I told you that. I was in Mississippi for qork and we had been arguing on the phone that weekend and I decided that I didn't like that shit. So Sunday when I got off at 1am I drove to you in Illinois and surprised your ass early in the morning. We spent most of the time naked and laughing, but when I needed to head back home to Tennessee we were dressed and sitti g in your living just shooting the breeze and I told you that I had a reason to see you. I had to tell you something important. I could feel my heart trying to escape and fly into your arms. It felt like I had gone deaf, I couldn't hear anything except us talking and this roaring rush of silence. I don't remember breathing. Time literally stopped its continuous passage to watch us. Then, I uttered those words, words that seemingly would change the course of our relationship toward a happy future, I had thought. Then, everything was normal again. I felt exhausted, joyous, worried, embarrassed, pleased with myself.
You once told me that you didn't understand why I was with you, that you didn't deserve me. I finally realized that you were right. I took a hard look at myself and stopped drinking and killing myself with unhealthy food and drink. I started exercising, eating healthy, pursuing more constructive hobbies, and started school again. I'm a different man now than the grown child you knew then. Thank you for the heartbreak. I needed it.
-The guy who you originally thought was gay and didn't even notice you for 4 months/ Alex
>>16908714
How do you know they're not thinking that way too?
The only time I feel alive is with him
I want him to be faithful to me, if no other
I can't be without him for the rest of my life
If he would only come back to me and tell me how he feels
I'm always lonely when he's not around
I only love him
>>16910528
I know because they told me.
It's so much easier without the guesswork.
The problem isn't that we are no longer on the same page - the problem is that we were never even in the same book to begin with.
Everything falls down. But that's ok. Life goes on. Eventually the hurt will become less consuming.
>>16910541
Sounds like you are coming to terms with it
Something I never could
I still wish for us to be together
Good luck, anon
>>16910565
Thanks, anon. And good luck to you too.
Sometimes I am quite rational about things. Other times, not so much.
Accepting that I'll never get to spend the rest of my life with the person I love isn't that easy.
Distance, time, distraction.
>>16910583
I've spent years trying to do the same thing
It didn't work, though
Don't be so hard on yourself, people can be forgiving. No one is really perfect
Go for what you believe in the most, if that is this person, then don't give up
If not for sure, then keep your head up
Dear J
I've been listening to John Mayer a lot, it reminds me of the period of time when I first got into a relationship with a girl. I wish that I could've spent my firsts with you instead. I feel like I wasted my teen years with someone who I didn't love and I want a chance to fall in love with you instead.
J
>>16910599
Oh, don't encourage me. I HAVE to let them go. Otherwise I shall make myself quite insane. I've tortured myself for long enough.
I'm not sure whether I truly believe that I've turned the corner, or if I'm still trying to convince myself. But either way, a line has been drawn.
>>16909841
No I'm sorry :(
>>16910664
Just because they said they've let you go (if that's the case) doesn't mean they don't want to be with you, it can mean they love you, and did what they thought you wanted, after fighting for you. People aren't endlessly resilient, they need support. Show your support, they wouldn't be amazing for you if hey thought you had noting to offer (not material stuff), a life philosophy perhaps. It works both ways
>>16910677
I understand what you are saying. Thanks for the advice, anon.
Dear K,
If I'm not in a band photograph at the next gig, I'm out. I was going to give you notice in order to give you time to find another keyboard player, but if my being there isn't appreciated I don't see much point in doing so.
Ahahah. You dumb whore. The reason you have trouble finding a man is because you're self-righteous, hypocritical, gossip! The funny thing is that these are things you've been told numerous times, yet you refuse to listen. Your shit stinks too, whore.
>>16910725
Not sure who you are trolling, but have you thought that person may just not settle for any man, but one they're compatible with instead, which is much rarer?
L,
I love you.
J.
>>16910754
Buddy, I'm not trolling. She actually messaged me after I cut her from my life and told me the guys she is dating aren't sticking around with her. She doesn't initiate these break ups.
It's true that she doesn't initiate relationships often because she has been hurt before, but she has low self-esteem anyway. Myself included, the quality of man she gets with could probably be considered settling.
Anyway, she is going to die alone unless she realizes her own faults.
>>16910824
Why did you cut her out? Everyone has faults. Maybe she's changed old habits. That's how people get better and have more fulfilling lives. Maybe being hurt made her behave oddly. People are odd in general, it's not always their fault. Was she still into you? Probably couldn't find another she was happy with or they weren't happy with her if she wasn't happy, I don't know. Good luck. Be positive
>>16910816
J ?
The only reason I ever come to this shitty board is to get a question that isn't relationshit answered, and every time I end up just browsing all these threads from whiny faggots who can't get laid before giving up and leaving with no answer
Fuck you all
GET. THE. FUCK. UP.
what the fuck are you all doing? everyone has lost their fucking shit. do you know who you are? is anyone in there? I'd try to help but you'll lash out like a zombie so I'll move on through this twilight zone mental wasteland.
and what the fuck is this new captcha bullshit? why do I have to play like a damn minigame to post? the fuck moot.
K,
I felt things were going back to how they were. Not just the last time we talked, but the last three. Now I haven't seen you in over three weeks. Really don't know what I should do. I really don't like this job I just want to get closer to you.
J.
-
First of all let me tell you that i love you dearly, you make me so happy and i know there is probably no one else in the world for me,
Your eyes are lovely and so full of love sometimes it overwhelms me and i have to look away, your words are so nice and calm, your voice is like a goddamn melody from animal crossig
i like this but i am so horny i get past your loveliness and just think of you losing your fear of all this, of feeling your soft lovely hands in my tights, your weird crocked teeth at the bottom of my stomach, your lovely little eyes full of lust, i wish you would just be brave and decide to go all the way, i want to feel you deep inside of me and watch you blush afterwards and hear your little whimpers and clean you up with my mouth, i wish you would put bruises in my breasts and love every single piece of you and let you know every aprt of me.
you make me happy, and i keep telling myself i will never make another move after what happened last time, but i can't help it, i need to do something. so forgive me for whatever happens.
>>16912826
Hmmmmm
Every time I don't see you for a while I start to get sad and I think you're gone for good, and that's okay but then I see you again and the shock is so bad I can't look at you. If you let me I might be able to look at you tonight. I always like seeing you but I don't want us to be enemies.
I never thought you would lose your power over me but time has been a faithful friend. In the coming weeks, distance will provide the lasting remedy. I've always had faith I am where I need to be, when I need to be there so I welcome life's new adventure without you.
>>16902158
I almost thought you were talking to me till I reread the beginning
>>16910308
I wish this was for me.
Dear K,
We have only been together for a month and I feel like I'm going insane because of you. You came into my life like a god damned tornado and now I'm all kinds of fucking confused.
I smoke more pot now because it helps me not think of you because every fucking time I do, I just ache and miss you so much.
Fuck, I hate this so much. I don't even know you yet! I try and put distance. Keep away. But then you just come back full force and amaze me over and over again.
Then BOOM you're distracted. I just dont understand why I click with you do god damn well.
You introduced me to your whole family and your entire inner circle of friends! We all hung out and got high. Your best friend is amazing and I miss him, too.
I hate hoping that you will just stop texting me and talking to me. I'm so fucking scared of this failing.
The only thing I'm not mortified of is being fully committed to you.
Sincerely,
K
P.S. If you are set on us being a couple, why do you still have your OkC account?
P.S.S
I hope this makes sense as to why I am keeping distant even though it hurts me.
Dear you,
Hello and how are you? I've been thinking lately. I promised you something a long time ago; a promise that I would be with you forever. I wanted two things from you, and one of those things are finally coming together.
Well, the issue here is... I thought this would make me happy. Turns out, it didn't. I finally got what I wanted, yet the one thing I want is the other. I mean, yeah, it's nice and 1 out of 2 ain't bad, but that second part is what I wanted more than anything. Every single day I feel like I'm going to get it, but I know deep down - I never will.
And that breaks my heart.
When I finally get this fully, I'm thinking about leaving you. You have three capable people who are your perfect team of help; it's just, you know how I feel. You know that I like you, and that I never want to leave you. You even told me today you would die without me, well, I'm dying with you - right now. I'm dying because I can guess what happened to him was because of me. I feel like I'm destroying what you built. I don't like that.
Fuck.
I really don't want to leave you, but shit... I'll try to discuss some of this with you one day soon.
If I decide to go through with it, please accept my transfer and let me go.
>>16913165
aw buddy, is it a guy? what state?
he/she prob has an account because of side dick
?
If I were someone else, everything would be different.
AF
>>16913165
aw buddy, is it a guy? what state?
he/she prob has an account because of side dick
>>16910528
Fuck. Are you me?
>>16913325
Eck, yeah. He is a guy. Do you really think?
Who am I kidding. Ofc he is. Blaahhh...
>>16901422
I check you out all the time at work and I know I have a girlfriend and you have a daughter but I want that bod so bad and I don't know if you're giving me hints. I'm a terrible person
Dear H,
Yeah. I am terrified of the future. Maybe... What I want is to be responsible for mtly future. To finally get myself out of this depression and move on. To better things and better experiences.
You are just getting out on your own. And I know I can't expect you to wanna spend time with me. It's making me feel worse that the last time we were together you left me with blue balls. Fuck you.
Don't let negative people back into your life! If someone wrongs you more than once or twice, drop them!! Even if you'll be left with no friends... Bad people make your life bad, it's not worth the risk!
>>16913062
Nah, you really don't.
This is either from someone that you don't have feelings for, in which case it's unwanted and can only ever end badly. Or it's from someone you do have feelings for, in which case they are not brave enough to take a chance on you.
Either way, it's just a mess. Why would you want that?
You will go away.
Me -
You haven't had too many head injuries, you haven't had too many concussions. You're still you, you're going to be okay. This is a transitional stage. You've gotten used to living a sedentary life. You don't have brain damage, you're just lazy. You've stayed indoors and lived alienated yourself from all of your friends and family. In doing that, you've driven your self-worth, social skills, and perception of both far, far into the ground. It's been almost three years, get the fuck up, get on the bike, and pedal. Lose weight, get a job, stop coming here.
Everything you feel and do is a direct result of the what you have chosen to do in the past. If you want to get different results, make different choices. It's that simple. Simple doesn't mean easy, it just means simple. Establish healthy habits, stop telling yourself you'll do it, just fucking do it.
Be the kind of person you wanted people to think was there. Don't fake it, learn some discipline, be a good person to yourself, invest time and love in yourself. You won't be able to appreciate either if you don't keep at it.
It's going to be alright.
Joey,
I am so sorry.
I know it's something you've become desensitized to - and that is my fault..
We were just terrible for each other.
I hope we never get back together, because after tonight, I know nothing good would come from a second try.
Goodbye,
Sara
>>16914175
I've already been gone awhile if you haven't noticed.
sorry, can't own that one.
>>16902442
Your name's not Ryan, is it?
>>16914175
no,it's you that will go away, dear. Or change your ways. I'm telling you this because tonight the game came down. You played your Kind on my Queen -- and the I played my Ace and won. There's so much I want to say right now but I can't but I will say this -
I see the people you fuck with. I know you fuck with a lot of people just like you fucked wtih me.
They know, I know and a lot of people know. You tried to break me, instead you should understand that I can do things you can't do and you DARE to fucking diss me?
I want you to repent, child. I really do. I want you to be better.
J - Someone told me that you were fat and ugly tonight.
You're fat and ugly! I am not fat and ugly, even tho you'd like me to think that.
S,
I don't believe in God. I just can't. I'm not into it and never will be. I don't think like that and I need you to believe me. I never lied about it but I just realized that you can't change who I am. I've changed so much for you...a fucking lot. You try to change me into this little angel that prays everyday but I just can't do it. I'm just too upset living with a giant she'll over myself everyday. I love you so much and I don't know what I'd do if you ever left, because I don't know anything else but you. But you just have to accept who I am and it's not that I won't change this, it's that I can't. Just let me be who I am.
Dear A,
I love spending time with you and I think about you all the time. I don't even understand why, but I think I'm falling for you. Every time you laugh my heart swells with joy and every time you talk about the sport you're in and you do your stupid little goofy smile I just want to kiss you. I try to think of all the negative stuff about you but I somehow ignore it or tell myself it doesn't matter. The only thing that I'm having trouble with is getting to know you, since you're so goddamn unreadable sometimes. Who knew the quiet kid could be so interesting?
from,
Your walking buddy
J - Here's the deal. Tomorrow night I want you to beg me to forgive you.Then I want to train you. I might need you. We shoudnt be enemies but you fucked up bad and I demand you do it.
You desecrated me. That is unforgivable and punishable.
