My girlfriend just broke up with me recently, she said that she 'just wasn't ready to be in a relationship'. I asked her if she still likes me, she said she does, but that she'd rather just be friends for now. I'm willing to give her the time and space she needs, but what can I do to ensure that things don't fall to shit while I'm waiting for her? Should I not message her, should I still compliment her, should I still tell her how much I like her? What can I do to make her want to come back? Pic unrelated but I can provide some of the texts if needed
>>16905145
improve yourself go to a gym, learn a new skill. and meet new people she will crawl back to you trust me.
>>16905145
I´ll tell you my story: she was really indecisive and couldn't sort her shit out. We had two arguments because her ex had been stalking her over a period of time. Eventually I got fed up because she wouldn't do anything about it. She had the balls to break up with me because "she didn't have time", "you deserve nice things" and "I cannot commit to a relationship at the moment". Granted I was pretty mad but realized she was not worth it. Yes, she was dating somebody merely weeks later but I didn't care much.
tl;dr: get over her, she is trying to be dump you in a "nice" way. She doesn't like you that much if she doesn't see you two together. I know it sucks but the sooner you accept it you will move forward.
>>16905257
This I've feared for a long time, and I thank you for your input. It really is hard for me to believe she would do that to me but I've seen it happen with other people before.
>>16905209
I've been thinking of working out, I've been studying a language for a long time but I kind of gave it a break when we were dating, perhaps I'll get back into it. And I hope you're right.
Wow holy shit I had that happen to me a couple weeks ago! I cannot really give you tips because I'm struggling it myself, and getting increasingly detached from her, but, if she REALLY wants to stay friends, do make her show she means it. Otherwise dump her.
As for how to get her back.. if I knew I'd be with this other girl already.
It is very unlikely that you guys will get back together no matter what you do. Cut ALL contact and move on. It might take a while but the horrible feeling you'll be experiencing is not exclusive to you. Every guy goes through this. Eventually you'll find another
>>16905366
If she starts seeing another guy, I'll start distancing myself from her, as then I'll know that she lied to me. Right now, I'ma do my best to not make things awkward and just be her friend.
>>16905348
Sorry to hear man, I don't think I'll ever understand why she changed so radically. She literally went from the happiest person in the world, then she became quieter, than not too much later she just ended it. I don't know what happened,
Okay well, here's one of the texts. I was asking her general questions about our relationship. Does this mean anything?
Anon, I'll be honest with you.
I said this to my now ex, and I have no intentions of getting back with him.
Now, granted, I said that in part because we're living together (and we have to continue to do so for a little longer), so I need to try and keep the peace. So my situation is a bit different, but I would still say she's probably just trying to let you down easy.
It's clear that she genuinely likes you, I'll give you that, but she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you for whatever reason.
>>16905412
>just be her friend
> I will be there for her emotionally as a boyfriend would, but she will never ever give me the booty again.
> I will be sweet and kind and reassuring.
> once she starts seeing someone else I will curl into a little ball and weep for months.
>>16905145
Forget about it anon, that's just a way to cut it 'nicely'. In the worst case (and I've seen this happen once) if she really were a bitch (I don't know if she is, judge for yourself) she only said this to have you as a sort of 'backup' while she tries to get with someone else who now suits her fancy, in case it doesn't end up working as she hoped.
Either way, deattach yourself from your old feelings asap, you'll regret later having cared still after it was over if you don't.
>Best way to get a girl back?
Give up. Life is not a rom-com.
Ironically, giving up really does give you the least horrendous odds. Failing to do so only makes you seem creepy, which will push her away.
>>16905605
I guess I just regret more than anything not being as good a boyfriend as I could have been, and I just wanted another chance. I didn't do anything wrong, but I was slow with her, and I regret it now. I'ma try to move on, even though I'd love to have her back.
>>16905582
I thank you for being honest, but I just don't understand that mindset. If you like someone, romantically, why *wouldn't* you want to be in a relationship with them?
>>16905593
Yeah, I know, it's pathetic. I guess I'm working off the assumption that she was honest with me when she said she wasn't interested in a relationship, with anyone, so therefore she wouldn't do that to me.
>>16905645
It doesn't matter how "not interested in a relationship" one is. Once the right person comes along that goes out the window. Even if she believes that to be the truth, she is still just keeping you on the hook in case she doesn't meet someone better and interested. Don't be a chump.
>>16905145
This happened to me too a while back. Grievance is normal, go hang with friends and excercise. Make yourself more attractive through time and she will regret leaving
>>16905645
>If you like someone, romantically, why *wouldn't* you want to be in a relationship with them
You misunderstood me. She likes you, but not romantically. She's probably attracted to you on some level, but not enough to stick around.
>>16905660
It just kind of hurts to think that she'd do that to me, and I mean she's really modest and shy. I know what you're saying though, and I believe that to be true to an extent, I'm just not so sure I'm her backup, unfortunately.
>>16905661
I'm not looking to make her jealous, but yeah as I said previously I think I'll start working out. I think my maim problem is my confidence however, and I just need a way to fix that.
>>16905676
I believe you, I just don't think I'll ever understand what changed between us. She really did like me, like a lot, I have no doubt, and it just kind of seems now like it didn't take much for all those feelings to go away, which hurts me. Here's a text from when we first started dating, I don't know what changed.
>>16905145
>she said that she 'just wasn't ready to be in a relationship'
A 100 bucks of your currency say she's already thinking about someone else. Who wants to take the bet?
>>16905716
My irl friend got told the same thing by his girlfriend and 2 weeks later she was dating someone else, so I know it's an excuse, I just want to know the real reason.
