You know the drill. Ask away.
boys why are you dicks
girls why are you sluts
This is going to sound weird but. So I'm trying to turn my life around and escape loser-world. I'm one of the millions of creepy guys in their mid 20s whos never touched a girl but I'm actively trying to improve everything and have come a long way. Girls are starting to actually pay attention for the first time in my life.
Is it a good idea for an older virgin guy to pursue a single mom about his age?
Everyone's always saying "lower your standards". And they can't afford to ask for much either because... they're a single mom lol.
Are there any single moms on here? Do you have the patience to teach someone and put up with trying weird things and spaghetti.
I realize I'm not going to get a super amazing waifu girl. There are a couple moms in my neighborhood warming up to me who are at a similar age to me so.
>>16907677
>Spaghetti
????
>>16907662
men do not suck dicks. Women are sluts though because boys want them to be. Then think men will take them after the boys have their way.
>>16907680
Being awkward and nervous. You've never heard the "spaghetti in my pocket" thing
>>16907686
What? I have never been more confused
I'm gonna ask again cause I didn't get much of a response in the previous one.
Girls,
I have acne and I'm in my 20s. I tried many treatments and acne always comes back. I even tried Accutane but the side effects were too much and the acne eventually came back. It seems like my pepperoni face is here to stay.
How unattractive is acne in your 20s to you? Would that be a deal breaker?
>>16907680
>>16907689
Damn this board has such a bad spaghetti policy
>>16907677
I'm a single mom and i would definitely be with a guy who's a virgin/awkward. I don't think this would be any different if i didn't have a kid thought. I'm a bit shy and awkward myself so i think a guy like that would suit me best. Luckily i'm dating an amazing guy who fits that bill perfectly.
There are a few things to keep in mind when dating a single mom.
>find one who doesn't have a huge problem with being a single mom or is stuck in her "victim role"
>find one who has her shit together (works, child is acceptably well behaved, household is not a mess, can stick to her budget, takes care of her appearance, doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs)
>find one who has a WORKING supportsystem (mom, aunts, grandparents, daycare, whatever)
>find one who still finds time to have some "me time" (exercises, has hobbies or something. Doesn't need to be huge, but she needs to see that it's important to also be her own person)
>find one who is on good terms with the childs father
>find one who is a good person per se (not selfcentered, loving heart, not bitter)
>make sure YOU don't date her because she "can't do any better". This is no foundation for a good relationship and will end badly.
>make sure you get a glimps of hiw she is with her kid(s) after a while. It's a good sign when she takes a while to introduce them to you, but there must be a balance. She can't make you meet them after dating you for a few weeks, but it's also weird if you haven't seen them after 6 months or so.
>find one who wants to date you for you and not because she needs help
>be aware that there might be moments when she has to let you down cause of the kids (they got sick, the babysitter flaked,...) but generally she should make an effort to have time regularily to spend alone with you.
>find one who doesn't want you to be a "dad" unless you decide to have a family together (for example move in together,
Cont
>>16907689
Spaghetti
Although usually referring to an Italian meal made of noodles with sauce, spaghetti can be used as a form of slang to mean an embarrassing act, general awkwardness or faux pas. If one commits such an act, it is called "dropping" spaghetti.
Guy 1: "Yo dude, check out Tad creepin' on that girl."
Guy 2: "That's all kinds of spaghetti."
Urban dictionary is your friend.
>>16907727
get married, have more kids,...)
>if she comes up with things like "my kids will always be my first priority", be wary. Ofcourse they are, she is their mom and is responsible for their wellbeing. But usually she can tend to that without ever making you feel like nr.2.
It sounds as if you would date a single mom out of some not exactly good reasons. Think those over again, in the end, i guess you also want a meaningfull and working relationship, right? You can't achieve that if you start it in a way like that.
why do girls get mad when guys ask them important questions about who they are and what they belief?
every girl I've been with gets easily upset when I ask her about shit that really matters to me, like politics, religion, morals, ethics and pgeneral life philosophy. I get the impression that most women don't put any thought into anything like that and they do whatever they can to avoid the realization of this
am I wrong?
>>16907729
You people its not that hard.
Spaghetti started from some ridiculous story about a guy dropping the lunchbox his mom made his at a countertop when a cute cashier spoke to him. Its the embodiment of the nerves a guy gets when talking to a cute girl and so dropping the spaghetti everywhere on the floor is the meme. The fact that he had moms spaghetti in his pocket only makes it more amazing of a tale of awkwardness. Who the fuck has moms spaghetti in their pocket.
It didnt even start on 4chan. It was on a body building forum which makes it more authentic.
Its so ridiculous its become a symbol of awkwardness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SW-BU6keEUw
>>16907693
I'm also still battling the pimples at 27. I'm very selfconscious about it buty bf doesn't seem to care. I guess it's not a huge dealbreaker. If somebody thinks you aren't the right person for them SOLELY because you have acne, you dodged a bullet and should be happy. Problem is that you might tend to blame every failed attempt at a relationship on your skin when in fact the reason it didn't work out was a whole different one. Try to not put too much focus on it or you might blow things out of proportion.
>>16907746
I've never seen this happen, and I would love if guys ever asked me those types of questions.
>>16907749
It's also related to the eminem rhyme
"there's vomit on my sweater already, mom's spaghetti". He talks about being so nervous before a rap battle that he had to throw up.
>>16907662
i used to be super nice but being an abrasive, arrogant sack of shit has made my life better. At least from my perspective.
>>16907677
you are not advanced in memelevel enough to deal with manipulative mothers. you might get your dick sucked but it will cost far, far more than a regular gf or even a high class hooker (kek)
>>16907746
they think you're interested and recoil in horror, because what you're talking about is what most women do when they are interested in a man.
I also get annoyed when people try to pry into my life like that.
>>16907752
But would you personally date someone with acne? How about really severe acne? (My case is pretty bad).
>>16907754
kik me sometime then, I'd really like to hear from a female perspective for once.
dyingtolive86
>>16907768
gross, dude
>>16907757
Yeah I think moms spaghetti jokes were already being made but more as a walk the dinosaur thing. This is the original post that triggered everyone though.
>>16907768
Sorry mang, I'm taken. Plus I don't have kik lol
>>16907765
why is it so offensive to be interested in a girl, even if only for conversation? do you literally think that every guy that wants to have a substantive conversation is doing it purely because he wants to have sex with you?
>>16907771
>>16907782
what the fuck? what does being "taken" have to do with anything?
>>16907785
>do you literally think that every guy that wants to have a substantive conversation is doing it purely because he wants to have sex with you?
yes
>>16907785
Not the person you replied to, but while I don't think EVERY guy that talks to me wants to have sex with me, from my experience, at some point in just about every conversation I've ever had with a guy, the boyfriend question comes up, or I mention (not even to try and drive them away) my boyfriend in a passing comment. Then they suddenly start interacting a lot less, or they stop talking to me.
>>16907766
I think yes. It strongly depends on the person. If my bf had severe acne, i would still date him.
>>16907793
>>16907796
okay, fair enough, I guess I'm in the minority of guys that don't, which is probably why that response is so peculiar. But now it makes sense.
already asked it in the other thread, no answer though :(
What is the difference between how woman treat just a male friend and a potential boy friend ?
>>16907802
she'll ask you to do more for her.
>>16907746
I think that's bullshit. You honestly believe that hall of the population aren't into reflecting and involving themselves in the important aspects of life - morals, ethics, politics, general life philosophy - purely because they have a vagina? I discuss these things with my female friends and family all the time. Maybe you make them uncomfortable, I'd be too with someone who shared your suspicion. To some, those things are very personal, not wanting to share it with you /= not putting any thought into it because their private parts doesn't allow them to think or have an opinion.
>>16907785
>do you literally think that every guy that wants to have a substantive conversation is doing it purely because he wants to have sex with you?
yes. you'll realize eventually that most, if not all women, are incredibly self centered. pair that with 'you go grrrl' feminist schlock and you get a woman who thinks all her interactions with anyone and anything have to do with her.
It's part of what makes women, women. (Can't live with em, can't live without em, amirite?)
>omg stacy posted about going to the gym on friday OMG SHE THINKS IM FAT
>that cute boy asked me where the bathroom is, he must have a crush on me and be super shy
>wow that misogynist creep said he thinks alimony shouldn't be necessary in our equal society, he LITERALLY wants to steal from me right now and rape me
>>16907788
I'm not a gril btw, but if you really wanted a female perspective you would have asked here in the thread instead of taking it somewhere reeal and personal
>>16907796
some guys are like that. why waste time trying to get into your pants if they are closed? shit my friend asks every women he meets those questions and it works well for him since he's 10/10
>>16907802
you'll know
>>16907788
Sorry, I shouldn't have assumed you were romantically interested. It's just that I don't think I've ever come across a dude who wanted to get to know me on that level without being interested.
>>16907807
>muh soggy knee
stop breathing
>Seeing a guy, kind of dating, kind of FWB-relationship
>We've been out on a date and had a great time last weekend
>He asked if we should hang out this week
>Told him I was very busy, he seemed a bit pissed that I didn't make time for him
>Asked him if he wanted to hang out for a few hours tonight a few days ago
>He said yeah, but he might be doing something later, I'm meeting up with my friends too so I said cool, we could just hang for a while
>He still seemed a bit pissed off/cold
>I told him last night to text me when he found out if he had time to see me
>Haven't heard anything from him since, we were supposed to meet up now, I've been waiting to hear from him all day and said I hoped I could see him. It's about 20:00 here now.
So I don't know if he exactly bailed me, but he told me we'd find out about meeting up tonight today and he hasn't contacted me at all. He's never done this before and is always seems to look forward to seeing me. Has he lost interest? Is he mad at me? Should I text him and ask what's up or wish him a good night? I don't want to seem desperate but I'm actually pretty hurt.
>>16907746
Because those are pretty personal questions, that have a lot of polarised reactions. Quick example, the current public disdain for Trump supporters. It's a topic that a lot of people would rather avoid entirely.
>>16907810
Excuse me? What's your problem and could you explain why you disagree like a big boy? Oh wow, implying women have a brain and thinks too, DIE!
>>16907793
>>16907796
>looking for relationship
>girl I'm interested in has a boyfriend
>don't want to be rude and abrupt about it but I really don't care anymore because I need to find someone
>last I was honest I got slapped (seriously)
>people complain when I do this because they think I'm trying to get in their pants because of bullshit they're feeding themselves all the time when there's plenty of more valid alternatives.
Is the expectation that we should aim to cheat with you? I don't approve.
>>16907807
Uncomfortable doesn't really justify the kinds of reactions you get. A 'sorry that's very personal to me' is one thing. I agree it's very personal to some. But I think recent political topics are a good subject.
For an example see your reaction. He expressed that he gets an impression which is completely understandable to me given his perspective. You just slam the door on him though. We're anonymous douchebags sure but even for a stranger this shit is way too rough and I'd probably distance myself straight away. Perhaps that's the goal. Don't know why you'd bring that here unless you're trolling.
You make everything so difficult girls. Why can't we just talk without massive consequences in how you think about people. Judging people on first impressions and such tiny bits of information is pointless. Sure, you're testing my social skills perhaps. But I really don't see the point and it makes me wish I was gay honestly. If I could transform one of my friends into a girl and have him date me I would (ignoring moral issues of consent). I don't even see it as losing the friend in any way. Another thing that usually complicates matters.
Girls, what do you think about inexperienced guys?
I'm 20 and just started dating someone for the first time. I've never done anything more than kissed a girl. Not for lack of interest, I just had to deal with a lot of personal issues and get to know myself/grow up before wanting to commit to a romantic relationship.
I want to be honest and tell her about my complete inexperience, but I'd like some second opinions.
>>16907849
Well, I don't know what kind of reactions you get, but it's not normal, and I know my female friends and myself are open to discuss politics, religion, ethics, philosophy etc. on a first date. Again, I think you make these women uncomfortable and do something that makes them not want to share these thoughts with you.
Suspecting that half the population aren't thinking about the bigger things in life is extremely offensive, sexist and laughable. It's crazy to believe that girls just aren't in to reflecting over moral, ethics, religion etc because they're girls. It's not completely understandable, it's a crazy and narrow-minded thought, judging someone for feeling this way is not pointless. Like I don't associate with racist people, I'm not into clueless assholes like this either. It's natural to judge others and specifically pick whom you share your company with. Good luck with the gay thing.
>>16907826
he's acting like a little bitch. time to bring out the tried and true problem solver.
you gotta sit him down and talk out why he's being a petulant child. his feelings are probably hurt so you might have to baby him a little, but you can't let it fester.
>>16907834
scoop the sand out of your cunt
>>16907849
>I need to find someone
no you don't
you're not entitled to friendship, love, or vagina
ooh, and do you really expect some stranger to whip out something like 'gas the kikes, racewar now' when you ask them a deeply personal question about their beliefs?
>>16907826
Probably dead. Nobody would bail on a girl who doesn't understand what him explicitly telling you he might be busy means. It means he might be busy.
>I don't want to seem desperate but I'm pretty hurt.
Over him not being able to come when he said he was busy? You both sound like jerks from your perspective. How can you two exchange the exact same situations and play them out from both ends and somehow be upset with eachother? I find it implausible. I'm a generous guy so I imagine he's not like that. Assuming he would be just leads to misanthropy. Even assuming the other way how can you say you're hurt? The same thing happened to him for the same/similar reasons. Come on.
>>16907727
>make sure YOU don't date her because she "can't do any better". This is no foundation for a good relationship and will end badly.
That isn't exactly what I meant.
I mean on the one hand yeah. Most guys don't want someone else's kid and single mom notoriously have a bunch of guys pump and run. So my thought process was, just for the sake of having someone (me) actually going for a serious relationship maybe she would take a guy who's only average looking and only has a couple friends and has no idea how to fuck.
But then on the other hand would she have time for all that because you know, she has a child to raise and probably very little free time or money, she's literally trying to find her child/ren a father so would the bar be even higher?
So it's not "haha now I have you trapped!" more like, will the kid cause her to have higher or lower expectations.
>It sounds as if you would date a single mom out of some not exactly good reasons. Think those over again, in the end, i guess you also want a meaningfull and working relationship, right?
Maybe I already addressed that but what exactly do you mean.
Of course I want a serious relationship with someone who loves me.
>>16907834
>I can't into context
You're the kind of faggot that needs everything spelled out for them.
>>16907849
>Is the expectation that we should aim to cheat with you?
No, I'm not saying that at all. I don't have a problem with guys backing off after they find out I have a boyfriend. What I'm saying is that because most of my male interactions have been that way (where they were interested and backed off when they found out I had a boyfriend) that it would be strange for a guy to talk to me without being interested.
Ugh I'm not sure how to phrase that without sounding like I'm some arrogant bitch who thinks every man who talks to her wants to fuck her. But the truth is that my experiences have shown me that it's very rare for a guy to talk to me but just for platonic purposes
>>16907864
Don't say anything about it unless she says it too
>>16907877
>How can you two exchange the exact same situations and play them out from both ends and somehow be upset with eachother?
People are people :^) gotta ramp up those showertime meditations so you can be partially enlightened like i am
>>16907872
>he's acting like a little bitch. time to bring out the tried and true problem solver.
>you gotta sit him down and talk out why he's being a petulant child. his feelings are probably hurt so you might have to baby him a little, but you can't let it fester.
I think he's acting like an ass too, I've never stood anyone up or ghosted someone, we've been seeing each other for more than a few months too, so it's not like a new thing. Spent my whole day waiting for him. But I don't really have the opportunity to sit down and talk with him since he hasn't replied to my text and I don't want to contact him, since he clearly doesn't want to hang out or talk with me. I just have no idea what I've done, he said we'd talk today last night and nothing. I feel like crap :(
>>16907662
>boys why are you dicks
>dicks
http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1457221339842.webm
>>16907877
I think you misunderstood. He said he might be busy, but also said he probably had time to hang out for a few hours before and that he'd contact me today, which means I've waited to hear from him all day. I'm hurt that we talked about meeting up, he promises to call when he finds out if he has time or not, I wait for him all day and I just don't hear anything from him. Why do I sound like a jerk?
I went a a few dates with a girl, and we haven't spoken to eachother since. It is awkward for some reason. We just smile at eachother in the hall every day.
How can I start talking with her again? Not even to go on dates, just to be friends would be good. Should I just sit down and start talking about shit with her, acting like nothing is wrong?
>>16907804
Do more... What ?
>>16907808
oh believe me, i won't know. first of all im as stupid as stupid gets when it comes to relationships second of all she's a type of girl that's nice and outgoing to all of her friends
>>16907872
>scoop the sand out of your cunt
>>16907883
>Ugh I'm not sure how to phrase that without sounding like I'm some arrogant bitch who thinks every man who talks to her wants to fuck her. But the truth is that my experiences have shown me that it's very rare for a guy to talk to me but just for platonic purposes
We're capable of doing both. As the term 'pusshound' suggests, most men are always on the prowl for new women. It's not like we have a crush on you, but if you're not ugly (sometimes even if you are) there's always that desire to see if you're interested. It's nothing personal, to be honest, just what we do. The disconnect you're feeling is that sometimes we want to get into your pants, and a friendship is auxiliary to that, and sometimes we think you're neat, and trying to get into your pants is merely a formality.
>>16907884
This is what I've heard, but it's got me confused. Could you elaborate on why you think this is the right course of action?
>>16907912
>there's always that desire to see if you're interested
I can understand that. But then, I've also seen examples of guys complaining when the girl pretty quickly mentions her boyfriend, like he'll get offended that she automatically assumed he was interested (even though he most likely was) so it can get confusing.
>>16907889
yes, everyone is acting like a pair of buttocks, but things will get shittier if someone doesn't make a move towards reconciliation.
Call him up, don't be mad, and ask to come over. Talk about this honestly, don't sleep with him, and get it sorted out before the negative feelings pile up on one another.
>>16907909
>she's a type of girl that's nice and outgoing to all of her friends
surprise anon, you thought you didn't know but you actually do! if she treats you like a friend and nothing more, guess what?
if you really, REALLY want to mix things up, ask her out! stop being passive. it's gross for a man to be passive
>>16907925
Thanks for your advice. I won't ask to come over now as I assume he is in fact busy, and I'll see if he contacts me tomorrow. If not, I'll call him and talk. Maybe he's just not that into me. I'll go and get shitfaced with my friends and meet some new guys tonight, I really like him but I guess that's all I can do :(
>>16907923
because it is offensive. breaking the script by being too self centered is dumb. world of difference between gently letting a man know you're unavailable when he asks, and autistically blurting 'I HAVE A BOYFRIEND REEE' when a man asks where the bathroom is
>>16907929
>I'll go and get shitfaced with my friends and meet some new guys tonight
you were good until you hit this part. your first reaction should NOT be 'go get drunk and get stuffed with strange cock' especially when you haven't resolved anything.
if you really feel that you need it, wait until you talk to him first, let him down, then go get stuffed
>>16907868
>suspecting that a half the population doesn't...
Anon he said it was his perspective. He didn't say that was what he suspected. Here's the scientific method. It's a very rational way to approach problems. As you can see he's essentially at the construct an hypothesis stage where he's exploring ideas about what could be the cause. He's actually asking you people to offer him an answer BECAUSE he doesn't see the suggestion he has as great. It's even right there in the post. It's slightly (teensy bit) aggressive questioning by not phrasing himself as 'am I right?'/'what am I not seeing here?' vs the 'am I wrong?' which is often used to signify uncertainty/open mindedness if not done sarcastically. Assuming sarcasm here is OK I guess but I find the trace very small.
>clueless asshole
Learning is not a sin. Imo.
>>16907872
>not entitled
Ok so I'm obligated to spend my time in an altruistic way. Nice double standard. You're not putting out to strangers on the regular (which I think is sensible). But in supposed to waste my time more than necessary.
Fuck off, sexist as fuck or alternatively just egocentric.
>>16907883
Ok that's fair. But maybe they do want friends. But since they're single they're not ruling it out. I mean really, it's two birds with one stone in a sense. I'm not sure what your default is but I tend to befriend guys primarily because in my experience we relate more. If I try and befriend you there is (likely) some other thing about you I like. Like sharing interests or the two birds thing. There's also the jealousy. Some girls (and boys) don't tolerate platonic girl relationships. They get insecure. So you prioritize guys out of respect. You see the many obstacles towards befriending you but not dating you being an option. Maybe you're just a great person and everyone who you're with falls for you. Great issue to have almost. And as a side note if you wanted guy friends you can more actively pursue them. Especially a group of guys.
>>16907935
Yeah, that's a good point to make. But there are situations where the guy doesn't ask if I have a boyfriend, but he seems like he's flirting or interested in me. Should I always wait until he specifically asks? I don't want to be accused of leading him on
>>16907935
Haha, I'm not going to "get stuffed with strange cock", I'm honestly not sexually interested in anyone else. We're not committed or in an exclusive relationship though, I don't know if he's seeing anyone else. I just feel terrible and I miss him, so second best thing is to get drunk and told I'm pretty by strangers. It helps, as I can't resolve our shit right now anyway and I think he might just not be into me.
>>16907879
I can only tell you how my "standarts" have changed over time. I think there's no universal answer to that. I was obviously pretty bad a relationships. I never learned stuff like what to look for in a partner, or how to communicate. My parents had a very bad and abusive relationship. I left home when i was 15 cause i wanted out. I was a teen, i had NO idea about how life works, let alone relationship. I moved in At 17 with the first guy that showed interest in me. He was older than me, he was very awkward and inexperienced, he wasn't somebody i would have choosen with my mind in the right place (he was into gore big time and was a kkk member...).
Someday i just realized that i have never loved him and never will. So i left. I still had no clue so i fell into the arms of the next idiot. He told me after we where dating for a few weeks that he was older than he told me. That he's got 3 kids from 2 wifes and is going trough a divorce atm. I had no dignity whatsoever and was in too deep already so i just went with it. Well, i got pregnant. I decided to keep the babx despite knowing that the "dad" will not be around. I had finally realized that he's not somebody to keep around either. In hindsight this was another really dumb decision in a row.
I now had 9 months to prepare my immature 21yo self for having a baby. Luckily i tool that quiet serious. Basically i went into coocoon mode. I just went to work, then home to read, sew, cook, take care of my body and meditate. I lifed an extremely lonely but also very healthy and calm life during that time. I didn't do anything else. I only met up with family and close friends.
Then the baby was born and i continued that way. It was just me and my son. For a year he was my only focus, then i started to feel lonely, but from experience i knew i was NOT ready to have a good relationship. It start d to become my pet topic. I observed every couple around me. Cont
Reposting from the previous thread since turns out I posted in a dead thread (I usually recognize these threads by the pink/blue OP pictures).
Why do the girls I go out with reject me through straight up ignoring me? There's been this girl I've been in constant contact for two months, going on dates with her for a month. I could see that she was starting to lose interest (maybe I'm a boring guy, whatever), but nevertheless I asked her out to the movies.
Now, if she just said "no", it'd be great. If she said nothing, that's fine too. But she agreed, we chose a day that was fine for both of us, she was all "OK, see you on wednesday :)"... and then she cut all contact with me.
Another girl said she had a lot of fun on our only date, insisted that we keep in contact, found and added me on Facebook, and then also ignored me ever since.
Why would a person do something like that? Are people just dicks in general? How do I deal with something like that? I cope with straight up rejection really well, but this sort of behavior makes me feel angry and helpless.
>>16907945
>haha I'm not gonna get stuffed
You're gonna drink. I'm a teetotaller so I'm bias but it doesn't sound like a good plan. Things escalate quickly when your brain is slow because of alcohol.
>>16907938
>Ok so I'm obligated to spend my time in an altruistic way
i never said that. pull the whatever is in your ass out of it and act like a god damned adult
>>16907943
you should wait until he specifically asks you out or makes a move. Sometimes flirting is just flirting, and sometimes you just think it's flirting but he's being himself.
>>16907945
>so second best thing is to get drunk and told I'm pretty by strangers
sounds pretty toxic to me
>>16907950
you're a backup plan. an outright rejection galvanizes our brain as it''s a definite end to a relationship. getting strung along (that's what's happening) doesn't provide the same point of reference so you're stuck in limbo
> I cope with straight up rejection really well, but this sort of behavior makes me feel angry and helpless.
That's the whole point. You can either force an outright rejection like I do, or cut them from your life as well. You might have to be crazy for that first one though. Took me a while to get this chick angry enough to actually come out and tell me to fuck off.
>>16907965
>sometimes flirting is just flirting
Honestly I never understood the point of flirting with someone you weren't interested in, but I'll take your word for it. It just sucks sometimes because it feels like if I mention it too quickly, I'm jumping to conclusions, but if I don't mention it soon enough, I'm worried the guy will think I'm leading him on. Plus, I've encountered multiple situations where the guy was interested but didn't officially ask me out or make a move.
>>16907960
I've been drinking and going clubbing for 6 years, I've never had casual sex or did anything I regret immensely, so I'm okay :)
>>16907965
Not the best way to deal with your feelings, but it works for me.
>>16907976
>Honestly I never understood the point of flirting with someone you weren't interested in
it's fun and there's no pressure
>>16907965
>you're a backup plan. an outright rejection galvanizes our brain as it''s a definite end to a relationship. getting strung along (that's what's happening) doesn't provide the same point of reference so you're stuck in limbo
Ah, so that's what it is. Those girls were just toxic little shits, then?
>>16907983
But isn't the point of flirting to get someone interested in you / let someone know you're interested?
>>16907991
>Those girls were just toxic little shits, then?
honestly i just think that the thought of how shitty that behavior is never really percolates through. men and women are very different creatures, you know
How unappealing is leg/body hair (For either gender)
>>16907965
>i never said that
It's the consequence of your logic. I'm complaining about the general attitude I'm facing. It's a direct result of this idea you have that I'd only talk to you to get in your pants. You're calling me entitled because I want to get on with my shit when it's clear that
1. Either you're right, I do want to get in your pants and you're off limits.
2. I'd like a serious relationship and you're off limits
3. I'd like a friend and have had experiences that are problematic with jealous boyfriends and such (depends on where you are, if you're in a club or bar that's exactly why I'd leave first and foremost, probably before you stop talking)
Saying I'm not entitled to anything may be true if said completely out of context. But you're opposing the idea of me spending my time productively towards my ends. That's an obligation. It's a word used when you're concerned with things other than yourself. Look it up.
Fuck you're dumb. I'd like to filter anyone who didn't get this stuff within 10 seconds of reading that post but I can't. I'd like a better forum. But maybe I'm obliged to respond now because that's what I'd be doing in a bar with you if you had your way. No. Fuck that I'm going to do other stuff. Terrible conversation.
>>16907949
Cont.
I observed why people around me are single or why they are miserable in their relationship. I naturally am good at getting people to open up to me so i had a lot of first hand insight.
I started to read up on the topic. I really sucked up every piece of info i could get my hands on. Mostly because i knew that everything i knew from my parents was destructive and that i lacked even the most basic understanding of how things work. I took time to learn as much as i could for about 5 years. I had no contact with and guys outside of my family/work in that time. Then i felt as if i finally had some idea of what i need in a partner and how i could make things work. I reluctantly started to open up to the idea of meeting somebody. It did not take too long and i met a few amazing guys trough friends. I have a tendency to see the good in everybody so i felt drawn to guys that wouldn't get praised into heaven usually. For example: there was that one guy that was severely depressed. He was drinking too much and was shy and very awkward. What made me watch out for him was that he had HUGE depts that his mom has caused him. He was very determined to work them off and never complained. He had a big burden but he focused on finding a solution instead of whining about it. THAT impressed me. And he had a kind heart. I couldn't see myself date him though because of his drinking problem. I was too tainted from my dad to risk that.
Then i met the guy i'm now dating. He's also shy and awkward. But he might just be the lovliest person you ever came across. He is very attentive, he's responsible, he's kind hearted, he's simply amazing. He also hasn't had a lot of experience with girl but i saw that more as a good thing. We started out very very calm and slow, but now we sre 5 months in and thing are better than i could have imagined in my wildest dreams.
Basically, single moms might have had a really less than ideal start into dating. They need to learn from scratch.
>>16907977
>I'm OK :)
Good. I'm not against responsible drinking really.
>>16907997
flirting is a tool and a pastime
it gets used to build sexual tension between people as part of courtship, but when you really get down to it, flirting is pretty much just teasing a qt. sometimes i do it because i want those digits, sometimes because it's just fun
if flirting was just for romance, i wouldn't flirt with my married/old/male friends
>>16908004
lad you're way off base here. calm down
girls: would most of you really fuck a stranger for $800?
I saw an article recently about a girl who did this. from the way she wrote about it i thought she was about to get at least 2k. then it got towards the end and she made such a dramatic big deal over 800 dollars... that isnt even a lot
>>16908008
Thanks, I do have some friends who make crappy decisions and can't drink responsibly, but I can thankfully handle my drink! I hope you have a great night :)
>>16908014
800 is a lot of money depending on who you're asking. Not saying that I would do it, but 800 would really help me out.
>>16908009
>calm down
I hate assholes. She embodies so (so so) many problems at once it's tough to deal with. Even problems outside of dating/socializing.
It's not like I have to care about social etiquette here anyway. Not out of respect for someone like that anyway.
There's this girl who hasn't talked to me in 6 years.
Do you think she's into me?
>>16908033
Yes. Give her the d
>>16907998
>men and women are very different creatures, you know
Yeah man, I know. It's just that... well... holy shit, how the fuck can they think it's any way to treat another living person? I just can't get over the shittiness of that sort of thing.
Since the first girl is a pretty fresh case, I got this urge to write her something like this:
>Hi. Just writing to tell you, that if you want to cut contact with somebody, "Yeah, great idea, let's see this movie next week!" might not the correct way to respond to an invitation. Shocking, eh? Bye.
I am barely stopping myself from doing so right at this moment.
>>16908018
to me it isn't a lot anyways..but ESPECIALLY for prostituting to a "sugar daddy"...adding +1 to your body count especially to a stranger. if youre gonna write a huge essay about how rich this guy is and how its so much money.... and then its only $800??
>>16908039
>Hi. Just writing to tell you, that if you want to cut contact with somebody, "Yeah, great idea, let's see this movie next week!" might not the correct way to respond to an invitation. Shocking, eh? Bye.
NO
FUCK NO
that's passive aggressive as shit, lad
>>16907950
>I usually pick out these threads by the pink/blue OP pictures
Do you understand now why people don't like the SAO cover, OP?
As for you, anon, they're playing with your feelings. In this case, bitches ain't shit. Cut them out of your life and try again.
>>16908044
>that's passive aggressive as shit, lad
Yeah, that's exactly why I'm not doing this, and letting out my frustration by wokring out and shooting some russian mobsters in GTA IV. Thanks for the advice anyways man.
>>16907864
>I want to be honest and tell her about my complete inexperience,
Then do that. If you can't be honest with someone you shouldn't be with them.
Yes, she might not like it. Some girls don't. some don't care, some actually like it. It's like asking if boys like blondes or brunettes, there's no one answer.
your virginity is a prize to be taken, not a weight to be unloaded. Tell her and hope for the best, if it doesn't work out then you dodged a bullet.
>>16907864
Tell her. If she's a decent human being, it won't matter to her. If she has a fetish for corrupting inexperienced guys like me, then you're golden. My current boyfriend was a virgin, been with him for over 5 years now
>>16908082
>5 years and not married
kek
I'm too insecure to be comfortable with comfortable silences. How do I stop my mind going
>what should I say what should I say
all the time?
This girl is pretty obviously interested and comfortable, but sometimes we just sit and quietly read together on train rides and stuff.
>>16908088
I don't want to get married.
Is it okay, or even advised for a 21 year old man to completely disregard women for a few years? I'm working very hard on my goals and every time I meet a new girl I get a little bit less ambitious. If I just completely stop, am I going to miss out on some very important things that I should not be missing out on?
>>16908095
>I don't want to get married.
top kek
>>16908092
let your mind run wild and then say nothing. this is a problem with you, don't ruin it
>>16908096
you know what they say- disregard females, acquire currency
>>16908099
What's wrong with not wanting to get married?
>>16908103
not him, but thats just very 2016 of you
>>16908103
>>16908096
So you get less ambitious in relationships? Maybe it's a classic case of wants vs needs and when you're single, you set these high goals for yourself as a way of distracting yourself from what you really need. When you're in a relationships you finally got it so the distractions aren't needed.
>>16908107
I hate to say it, but I think that's what it is anon. Guess i'm currently just a weak person.
>>16908105
I just feel like we should at least move in together and live there for a while before even considering marriage.
>>16908112
well thats how it works anon.
>>16908115
So that's why it'll be at least a few more years before we talk about marriage. Gotta get a place together first.
>>16907864
Don't tell her.
They do care a LOT and she'll dump you.
>>16907904
H-help
>>16908133
yes, just talk to her man. If she's a cool girl she'll be appreciative
I guess all I want to know is why can't a guy just have an adult conversation with a female about issues that matter... without her thinking there is always an alterior motive involving sex and/or the pursuit of a romantic relationship?
I can talk to other guys about their perspectives on life without them thinking I'm homosexual and physically attracted to them. Why do girls feel like they have to put up a fucking barrier when it comes to meaningful conversation with anyone other than who they are physically attracted to?
What kind of superficial bullshit is this?
>>16908146
exactly why women should never see the battlefield.... they don't have the intellectual bond guys do
>>16908146
Because men have this little thing called a libido, men are physically attracted to females. It's a biological thing called reproduction.
The relationship between men and women is that of biology.
If a man wants a conversation he'll talk to his mentor or his friends, if he wants someone to protect, procreate with etc. He'll talk to a woman.
And women are the same
>>16907656
I like this girl and she likes me but she was the one who asked me out. I said no since I'm the man and the one that should be asking her out. Instead she humiliated me in front of my peers by asking me out. How do I find it in my heart to forgive her and ask her out myself?
>>16908172
lol
>>16908146
>female
pic related
Of course there are women who thrive on drama and bad assumptions. There are also women who are perfectly capable of straightforward conversation. Do you know why you aren't connecting with any of the latter? Look at the common thread.
>>16908168
so basically if a girl asks me any personal question that involve me reflecting on my morals, beliefs and ambitions its not rape if I fuck her right then and there? lmao great logic.
>>16908146
You aren't going to like my answer but even platonic nonromantic friends can fall for you during deep conversation. If you're slightly attractive woman and can hold a conversation, especially about similar hobbies or outlooks on life, there's a chance that her male friend might develop a crush.
Obviously women fall for men like that too but if she's even remotely qt and fun to talk to then chances are she's had it happen a bunch of times.
>>16908186
Shit I forgot the pic related.
>>16908188
That strawman, I can see you're still in highschool, i'll be dropping this conversation.
>>16908190
this happened to me desu
it was unpleasant
i still have a crush on her despite removing her from my life
Guys, how do you make a decision to ask out a girl? And how do you plan it?
>>16908203
I talk to her if she's physically attractive. I invite her to spend some time with me if her personality is also attractive. There's not much planning to either of those things.
>>16908195
Thats not a strawman. You're saying that if a woman engages you in serious conversation (or vice versa) it is because she has found someone she wants to mate with.
That is ridiculous.
>>16908214
a possibility of a mate. I can't believe i'm replying to this.
>>16908203
I say "Hi. My name is Anon, whats yours? You're cute, do you wanna go out sometime?"
Then I remove the duct tape
>>16908203
If make up some bullshit excuse to talk to them like asking for change or the time. They can see through it probably since immediately after I make my motivations clear
>>16908224
this desu
then she says 'i'm 16/asexual/an anime/married/etc' and I laugh and walk away
>>16908222
That would make sense if it weren't for the fact that many people fuck each other without even exchanging names let alone deep philosiphical ideas on life, the universe and everything.
>>16908234
yeah but you don't have to talk about stoicism to engage sexual attraction. Again, your comprehension of the topic is atrocious
>>16908211
It is so fucking easy for mature people.
Then there are young romantic guys. They could be your best friend, blush when you're around, hang out, and never bring up the nature of the relationship.
Never having the courage to ask you out.
What the fuck happens in their heads?
>>16908244
>grow up being told by everyone that you're the cause of the worlds problems
>every person you trust in your life tells you to be meek and friendly and the woman you love will fall for you
>get it pounded into your brain every day that being assertive is literally rape
>have the women and girls around you constantly batter you with lies about what they seek in a man
idk anon, you tell me why impressionable young men do exactly what they are taught to do in order to get the women of their dreams?
>>16908244
Fear of the unknown. Not knowing how to make conversation, not knowing how to read a person's interest (or lack thereof), not knowing how to build an interesting lifestyle worth sharing with others. There's a lot which shouldn't be taken for granted in those three sentences I wrote.
>>16908243
Okay, I'll rewind it then.
You're saying that by having a deep, stimulating conversation with a person there is a 'possibility' of developing a sexual/romantic attraction to that person, right?
So you think its all hunky dory to deny people this opportunity altogether because such a thing would offend you or upset you... yet even you admit that sexual and romantic attraction can and does exist even without having such a conversation.
I don't get it... you'd rather have the only people that are attracted to you feel such an attraction because of superficial reasons rather than them getting to know who you really are on a deeper level?
And most men are pigs, right?
>>16908259
Oh shit, it fits the nicest guy I used to know, who was nowhere that "nice guy"
What have I done
Girls.
I was bored tonight and decided to watch yet another romcom.
This got me wondering if the usual big gesture the guy pulls off at the end actually "works".
Like does it work when a guy you barely know does a big gesture with a speech and such when
>you like him
>you don't like him
Because some of those are legit creepy stuff and I don't see that working in real life, but you never know with some people.
Anyway, tl; dr : what's your opinion on big guy's gestures like in romantic movies?
I have gone to the movies with this girl I got a crush on twice now, and last Thursday I asked her to come just hang around with me in the city, and grab some food while we were at it.
As far as I know, she seems to like me enough to want to spend her free time with me, and she has told me a lot about her life (which has been far more eventful than mine), and she even invited me to her room to play tabletop games, but I still don't really know if she just sees me as a friend.
I have touched her hands, shoulders and legs few times, usually by accidentally brushing of on her (I am far too nervous to actually intentionally touch her, like by trying to hold hands with her or something), and she hasn't really reacted to such contacts in any way, which puzzles me. If she reacted with aversion, it would at least be clear to me that she does not like me that way, but with no reaction (that I can decipher at least), I am just left in a state of ignorance, which makes me uneasy.
I just don't know how to read her behavior, and I am so damn scared and confused.
I know that I myself like her very much. She makes me laugh, and spending time with her is just simply enjoyable. We have a lot of similar tastes, and get along super well.
I have caught myself just looking at her with a dumb smile on my face a couple of times. And I don't mean staring at her like I was just checking her out or anything. It is just that simply being in her company makes me happy, and I find her to be even more beautiful because of that.
God damn this is all so fucking new to me. The last time I felt anything even remotely like this was when I was like 12 and I barely even remember those feelings. I just don't know what to do. On the other hand, I just sorta want to tell her straight up that I have a crush on her, but on the other hand, I fear that it would just ruin everything. I guess I'll have to ask her out a couple more times and just keep hanging out with her in order to get to know her better.
Hey girls. If a guy in college can't keep his apartment room clean/odor free is that a deal breaker?
>>16908334
she clearly enjoys your company as a friend and nothing more. she is really really hoping you don't have the balls to confess to her because she would lose you as a friend.
unfortunately she doesn't realize that's already happened. so go get it over with anon, next time you're out on a '''date''' go in for the kiss so you can get rejected and move on
>>16908334
just tell her, you won't ruin anything that wouldn't ruin itself later anyways.
you'll regret it if you don't, and according to the women here, if she's talking to you about intimate details of her life, she obviously wants marriage and children with you, so congratulations on the babies friendo
>>16908334
Don't be the kind of guy >>16908259
is describing.
Stop waiting and ask her out, make your interest clear. Chances are she'll say yes, chances are she'll say no. Your choice from there about wether or not you think you can manage a friendship without being an orbiter.
>>16908345
I hope that isn't the case, because I really like her.
Besides, I don't even know how to "go in for the kiss", nor can I really just "move on" as we live in the same student apartment complex, so I would be still seeing her every day.
>>16908352
I guess you got a point there. I don't really know what to say though. I have never dealt with this sort of shit before, and on some level, I wish I hadn't developed these feelings. They make interactions that were previously simple, into far more confusing and make me feel so inadequate and nervous.
>>16908371
I have already asked her out to come with me to movies twice, and once to just hang around/dinner. What should I say to make my interest more clearer.
I have never pursued girls in any way, not because of the stuff said in the post you are referring to, but instead mostly due to me having been just rather disinterested in dating etc, as until now, I had never met a girl that I found to be truly interesting to me.
Like, I have never had any interest towards just hooking up with an attractive girl, to get laid etc, and in my (arguably rather limited) experiences with the opposite sex, I have never before really met anyone who I was interested in getting to know better and spend time with.
Because of the above, I am utterly inexperienced with this shit in pretty much every way.
>>16908394
>Besides, I don't even know how to "go in for the kiss", nor can I really just "move on" as we live in the same student apartment complex, so I would be still seeing her every day.
then be a pussy and keep pretending to be her friend
or you could go get ice cream and walk around a bit holding hands like a sappy faggot
>>16908405
I am not pretending to be her friend. I am her friend, and I am trying to get to know her better and figure out if she is interested in being more than just friends with me, while also trying to work up the courage to confess my feelings for her/figuring out what to even say to her.
You ain't exactly helpful you know.
>>16908394
"I like you. I want to go on a date with you."
SOmething along those lines.
From my own experience : when I asked out a girl I liked who didn't feel the same, I kept wondering what I had done wrong, that maybe being direct and such wasn't a good idea, that maybe there was a game that i didn't understand.
Then one day I asked out someone in the exact same way and she said yes. And others said no, or yes.
Point is : being clear is the perfect way. There's no ambiguous behavior. "I like you, I want to go on a date with you, how about....." and you see what she says.
>>16908414
you're being obstinate
you have a crush on her now which completely changes your dynamic. you used to be friends, now you're a crush and a crushee. this is a situation you have to resolve or you'll keep posting walls of text like >>16908394 and >>16908334. You say I'm not being helpful but I am. I'm just telling you shit you don't want to hear because you somehow think that by doing nothing she will fall in love with you and take charge and form a romantic relationship with you while you stay passive the entire time
STOP BEING A PASSIVE LITTLE SHIT AND GO MAKE A GOD DAMNED MOVE YOU LITTLE FUCK
DO IT RIGHT NOW
CALL HER UP AND SAY 'EY BITCH I THINK YO FINE AS HELL NOMESAYIN LEMME TAKE YOU OUT TO SEE THE STARS N SHIEEETTTT'
>>16908414
>I am trying to get to know her better and figure out if she is interested in being more than just friends with me, while also trying to work up the courage to confess my feelings for her/figuring out what to even say to her.
See >>16908418
Also,
>I am not pretending to be her friend. I am her friend, and I am trying to get to know her better
You're not her friend. You're an orbiter, which is kind of the equivalent of an undercover spy.
You'll be able to consider yourself her friend if you can go past the rejection you're going to face and actually become her friend with no secret agenda.
>>16908418
Alright, point taken. Just confessing my feelings for her should at least remove the ambiguity and confusion in my part.
>>16908426
But I am not doing nothing or being passive.
I have already asked her out 3 times, and each time, I have gotten to know her a bit better.
Before I developed the crush on her, we just watched movies from the tv together at the kitchen of the student apartment complex. I asked her out only after I realized that I had developed a crush on her.
I am asking for advice because I don't fucking know how to "make moves" or shit like that. This is literally the first fucking time I am dealing with anything like this.
>CALL HER UP AND SAY 'EY BITCH I THINK YO FINE AS HELL NOMESAYIN LEMME TAKE YOU OUT TO SEE THE STARS N SHIEEETTTT'
I am not a fucking nigger. I don't want to act like some perv who is only interested in getting in her pants. I want to get to actually know her.
>>16908427
Don't you have to be somebody's friend before you can even develop feelings for them?
Like, what sort of perv just looks at a girl and goes to talk to her just because they want to fuck her?
>>16908438
>Like, what sort of perv just looks at a girl and goes to talk to her just because they want to fuck her?
Not the person to whom you're replying, but I think your parents screwed up when having "the talk" with you. Talking to people because they're physically attractive is what EVERYONE AROUND YOU is doing. You couldn't be more backward about this viewpoint.
How do you get over a broken heart?
>>16908438
>Don't you have to be somebody's friend before you can even develop feelings for them?
No. You can notice someone, think they're cute, go talk to them, see if you hit it off, ask them out, go from there and see if it develops into something more.
Trying to be their friend and spending so much time with them while hoping IS creepy.
>Like, what sort of perv just looks at a girl and goes to talk to her just because they want to fuck her?
Every guy on the planet. There's nothing wrong with wanting to fuck someone as long as you're also seeing them as a person. Girls are sexual beings too, and so are you.
>>16908438
>I am not a fucking nigger.
lmao dude it was a joke
but you gotta make a move. i'm trying to get you angry enough that you'll actually do something just to prove me wrong
>but anon we've already been on a few dates
if you think she's into you you shouldn't be nervous
what if she wants to be your gf but you keep pussying out instead of kissing her
>>16908449
Time and/or finding someone new.
>>16908456
This. Dude, be clear. For all you know she probably doesn't know you invited her because you want to fuck her.
So Be clear. Say you like her, that you want to make it go beyond friendship and invite her somewhere. If she says no or suddenly never has time, just drop it.
>>16908458
Time is my best bet, I don't want to put myself out there anytime soon. I can't take this pain anymore.
>>16908463
>inb4 "no"
>>16908445
I never had the talk.
I knew what sex and reproduction was when I was like 7. Nature documentaries yo.
I just have never had that big of a libido I guess. To me, the thought of approaching someone who you don't even know just because you want to fuck him/her, is creepy as fuck. I have never had any interest in talking to a girl just because I find her attractive.
The reason why I became friends with this girl was simply because she invited me to watch some tv with her while I was passing by the kitchen, and from then on, we kept watching movies etc together from the telly until I realized that I had really started to like her, and then, I asked her to come to the movies with me. She is attractive to me, of course, but that was never the main reason why I spent time with her.
>>16908453
I guess I just don't operate that way. To me, just going up to somebody and asking them out without never even spending time together before, is simply creepy.
>>16908456
I am intending in making a move, what I am asking is HOW. Again, this is the first fucking time I have ever dealt with this sort of shit. How can you expect me to know what to do when I have never been in this sort of situation before?
>>16908463
I didn't invite her to the movies because I wanted to fuck her.
I invited her because I like her, and I want to get to know her better. Call me old fashioned, but I find the idea of having sex with someone who you barely even know to be repulsive.
Like, when I mentioned this shit to my male cousin who is my age, and he gave me a bunch of condoms, I was disgusted at him. I had only known this girl for barely a month, and had been to the movies together with her ONCE, and my cousin was already thinking that I was about to fuck her any minute now.
>>16908487
>I didn't invite her to the movies because I wanted to fuck her.
Yes you did. Being romantically interested in someone includes a fair amount of sexual interest that you shouldn't be ashamed of. It's part of a whole. It shouldn't be your sole goal, but it shouldn't be something you shy away from.
Aknowledging that you and this girl are sexual beings is normal, and encouraged, and what is going to make the both of you go beyond friendship, because that's what a relationship kind of is : friends who are even closer, partly through sex.
So you penis, she vagina, and that's okay.
>>16908487
why not invite her over to your place
drink some wine
watch a sad movie
cuddle up on the couch
when you get nervous autismo butterflies in your stomach turn to her and kiss her lips
do i need to write out a play by play for every little thing?
>>16908487
>Like, when I mentioned this shit to my male cousin who is my age, and he gave me a bunch of condoms, I was disgusted at him. I had only known this girl for barely a month, and had been to the movies together with her ONCE, and my cousin was already thinking that I was about to fuck her any minute now.
because your cousin isn't autistic like you and understands what asking women on dates entails
>>16908487
>what I am asking is HOW.
Told you . Say you like her, that you're interested in more and invite her somewhere for a date. See what she does.
>>16908487
Dude, putting all of those replies together reveals that you've got some major hangups about how this stuff tends to play out. I think you want an outcome for a game despite not wanting to play it according to its present rules and paradigms. That doesn't work. You can't even chalk that up to inexperience either. You may not have ever done these things before but you're putting up these huge mental barriers against doing them now as well.
With these "old fashioned," anti-"creepy," "disgusted" perspectives of yours, you are the architect of your own frustration with these replies. You are being told what to do in a reasonable amount of detail. Your life is not a TV show and we are not writing a script. We are, however, giving you pretty damn clear direction, enough so that a person could even blindly make stuff up along these lines and still stumble into success. I think you're not seeing how this advice is really 80% of what you need to do because you find it so repulsive.
>>16908496
I did not claim that I feel no sexual interest towards her. It is just that those interests are very low priority for me in face of actually getting to know her. Again, I find the thought of getting intimate with a person I barely know to be rather repulsive.
Also, as I got no experience in that aspect of life either, I don't really like to think about it much anyways.
>>16908497
We live in the same student apartment complex, and the individual rooms have barely enough room for two beds (it is 2 people per room), and a bathroom. All of us residents share the kitchen.
So I can't really invite her to "my place".
Besides, I don't drink alcohol.
>>16908502
I am not autistic. I just think that getting intimate with a person who you have not known for a longer than a month is rather repulsive.
Also, I certainly did not ask her out with the intention of fucking her the same god damn evening. Again, I wanted to get to know her, and spend time with her.
>>16908503
I guess I'll have to ad the "I like you" part in to my vocabulary the next time I ask her out.
>>16908507
I got no fucking CLUE of how these things tend to play out, and thus far, I have only acted on my gut instincts and guesses on what is appropriate or not.
>>16908534
>gain, I wanted to get to know her, and spend time with her.
anon that's what a date is
>>16908548
So I guess it was a success?
The point is, that I didn't ask her out for a date expecting to fuck her that evening or shit like that. I wanted to spend time with her, because her company is enjoyable and she makes me happy, and I wanted to get to know her better because I find her interesting.
>>16908562
>. I wanted to spend time with her, because her company is enjoyable and she makes me happy, and I wanted to get to know her better because I find her interesting.
anon that's why people date
you've been on three dates and haven't kissed her? does she run away screaming at the end of every single one of your dates?
>>16908534
>find the thought of getting intimate with a person I barely know to be rather repulsive.
>Also, as I got no experience in that aspect of life either, I don't really like to think about it much anyways.
You sound afraid of sex more than anything. Not taking the fact that you want to fuck her into the mix of your intentions is pretty delusional.
No one is asking you to fuck her now, but it's definitely something you want to do. That's part of being interested in her and you have to show it to her too.
And that's coming from someone who used to be like you. I would try and be friends first, not be assertive or be sexual. The fact that my crush when I was 14 really hated sexual things didn't help.
Meanwhile my cousin was being assertive and aknowledging his sexual drive, and the sexual drive of girls, and got successful. Thing is he was a horny bastard who cheated on them and didn't care about who they are
I learned to be a middle ground between trying to know them, and showing my sexual interest instead of being ashamed of it. It worked. No need to be douchy. Just say outright that you like her, that you want to be more than friends. Invite her. If she says yes start flirting during your official date.
All i'm saying is : being sexual is part of the deal.
Ladies!
I literally can't stop buying my girlfriend things and she hates it. It's not a financial thing, I can buy her just about anything and be financially alright. I bought her a car out of impulse and she got really mad and refuses to drive it. I'm too tall for it so I can't even drive the fucking thing so I have a brand new car sitting in my driveway.
I can't imagine why she doesn't like me buying her things. I feel like she's just hanging on until she can find something better and doesn't want me to get too attached.
Need advice.
>gf says she doesnt get orgasms any more
What did she mean by this?
>sleep with her this weekend(ldr where we only see each other on the weekend)
>rock her world
>day afterwards
>be all lovey dovey
>take her home promising lots of lovemaking
>cant get my dick up
WHAT THE HELL. Im 25 this shouldnt be happening. How 2 fix.
For anyone:
I'm stuck in AIT (army) for 3 more months, it's been one month here already. I am getting lonelier and lonelier by the day, man. Yes, I'm constantly surrounded by other soldiers but there's absolutely no chill (yes I know, is the fucking army) here. I know I need to nut up and deal with it, etc, but I'm starting to not feel mentally well. Like there's so many people I see every day, but I'm not close to anyone, just dozens and dozens of "work" friends, if you will.
What can I possibly do with myself? Sure there's poi time during the week, formations and all, but the down time kills me, there's nothing to really "study" for. I've been thinking of trying tinder or bumble just to make friends that I can chat and vent to, but nobody's going to want to talk about how I'm stuck in a bubble with cabin fever.
HELP
>>16908562
It wasn't a success.
There's a difference between two friends hanging out and a date.
Two friends hanging out is just two friends with no romantic interest doing things.
A date is two people aware that the other is romantically interested( which includes interest in sex) and they see if they get along that way. There's flirting and such, and both KNOW what they're in for.
You doing things while she doesn't know what it's for isn't a success. You go home thinking you got closer to getting with her while she got home thinking she just spent some time with a buddy.
>>16908577
Do you drink?
>>16908569
maybe she feels like youre just trying to win her love with material things? Or maybe even tho you can afford it still doesnt like you spending money frivolously.
It could be numerous things. You might just have to talk to her to see what it is, and if theres anything she would actually like you to buy her.
>>16908586
I'm in training, we're not even allowed to leave our island during the week. During the weekends you can go off post, but there's nothing fun available to us. I know, I know, it (should) gets better at your duty station, you get all the fun and no more baby sitting. But I'm not there yet, and I'm freaking stir crazy.
>>16908566
I have never kissed a girl.
I have never even held a girl's hand.
How can you people expect me to know how to do that shit when I have had zero fucking experience with this shit in my whole life.
For the first time in my life, I have met a girl that actually wants to spend time with me, and I don't want to mess shit up by trying to kiss her or be a creepy fucker in other ways like that when I don't even know if she likes me that way yet.
I wouldn't even know HOW to kiss. I am completely fucking clueless. All I know is that I like her, and that I want to spend time with her.
>>16908567
I don't know how to flirt, let alone how to "be sexual" in a way that doesn't involve just masturbating, because that is the only fucking experience I have had with sexuality my whole life.
You fuckers might have started dating and experimenting in your early teens or whatever, but I have had zero, nada, completely none of such shit in my soon to be 23 years of existence, that did not involve just me touching myself. So pardon me if I ask for more elaboration on statements like "being sexual is part of the deal", because I got no fucking clue what such statement actually means.
>>16908581
I see your point.
I guess that I'll have to work up the courage to straight up tell her that I like her.
>>16908593
>I have never kissed a girl.
>I have never even held a girl's hand.
yeah, i can tell
get the fuck over yourself
>>16908598
>get the fuck over yourself
How is that supposed to be of any help?
>>16908591
Jeez, sounds like miltary is super strict where youre from. My advice is to mix vodka with water to have a nice buzz, that doesnt smell at all on your breath. Try socializing with fellow trainees, they are usually a fun bunch.
>>16908601
you're being a pussy ass bitch expecting to get all this shit handed to you on a plate
there is only one way to learn and that's to try
you wont even let yourself try you just keep whining on the internet
you've gotten your advice, and it's good advice
either do it, or don't.
but of course you won't because you're a fucking passive litttle girl
>>16908593
>I don't want to mess shit up by trying to kiss her or be a creepy fucker in other ways like that when I don't even know if she likes me that way yet.
That...is why you fail.
You have to do it. It isn't creepy to want or try to kiss someone ffs.
>So pardon me if I ask for more elaboration on statements like "being sexual is part of the deal", because I got no fucking clue what such statement actually means.
It means that you're aware and not ashamed of the fact that you have sexual organs, both of you, and you want them to interlock. Show interest; compliment her body sometimes.
Also don't be afraid to kiss her. You'll find it's way easier when you got past the whole "I like you" part. Because if she knows it and is seeing you in a date, it means you can go for it when you feel comfortable.
Keep in mind that I fucked up my first kiss and my gf thought it was cute. I was awkward during my first time and my other gf thought it was cute too. We had good times and it didn't stop me from getting better at it.
>>16908610
I ain't exactly in a position to try anything right now, as she isn't even here right now. She is visiting her relatives and will only come back tomorrow.
>>16908617
>muh excuses
fuck off
>>16908449
You don't
It doesn't get 'easier'
It stays with you forever
You will always hurt when it comes to mind. But eventually... after hurting repeatedly, you'll learn to accept the hurt as your new normal.
Then, you can start wearing black eyeshadow and memorizing edgar allen poe
This is how a child of the Night finds himself
>>16908617
You can call her up and ask her on a date right now.
>>16908616
>It isn't creepy to want or try to kiss someone ffs.
How is it not?
Especially if she doesn't actually like me that way?
>It means that you're aware and not ashamed of the fact that you have sexual organs, both of you, and you want them to interlock. Show interest; compliment her body sometimes.
How do you show interest, or compliment her without being a creepy fucker?
Again, I got zero fucking clues about this fucking subject.
I sorta wish that I didn't even have these feelings, because they make shit so fucking complicated. I did not ask for this.
>>16908622
If you got nothing worthwhile to say you might as well shut up m8.
>>16908603
I mean, it's supposed to be fun when you finish training and go to your station (fucking Germany here, man, fuck yes) but for the time being it's mind numbing. Idk man, I'm an introvert and I feel so drained from the constant interaction with others, but that's just the life here. I have more than a few buddies that are pretty great, as far as acquaintances go, keeps me pretty sane. I guess it's just stress and monotony boiling over this weekend. I'll just start a book in my free time, but then I feel like an asshole for not going out with my circle, even though before I joined I would work, then go home, maybe to the gym.
I think talking about it, I realize my problem is just adjusting myself to an entirely new life that I'm not particularly fond of, but c'est la vie, I chose it. I just wish I had a friend that still talked to me, all my hometown buddies are just going on with life, which I understand. I miss it, though.
>>16908593
get a load of this guy:
>i duuno what to do guise! halp!
>I'm not doing that.
>>16908634
lmao kill yourself you pathetic loser
i've been here hours talking to you and you're trying to act like you're not some sniveling bitch afraid of girls
>>16908632
At 1:30 am?
>>16908634
>How is it not?
>Especially if she doesn't actually like me that way?
It's normal. No one is asking you to say "heey you a fine bitch". But saying "nice...." or "you look ..." is perfectly okay.
And trying to kiss someone is perfectly normal. If you're not sure about this just make your interest known beforehand by asking her out and making it clear it's a romantic date. If she says yes there's no reason to be afraid.
Who even put into your head that kissing someone is bad? wtf.
>>16908641
At no point did I deny that I was afraid of girls.
I am afraid, very, very fucking afraid, because I am in an entirely new situation with barely any clue on what I am doing.
Btw, if you are trying to piss me off, you are gonna have to try better than that. I may be inexperienced with the opposite sex, but I am still an adult. Getting a rise out of me requires a bit more than just calling me a loser (especially when I acknowledge that I sorta am a loser.)
Jesus christ when will the scourge of SAO die off
>>16908244
For a lot of people, or for me at least, we grew up with this idea that a relationship is supposed to grow from a regular friendship. That it's a natural progression basically.
Of course once you get a little real world experience you start to understand things don't work that way. That if you're interested in a gal, you should make it clear from the get go rather than trying to impress her with such a decent friend you are.
Guys, won't you mind occasional huge acne on a girl you really like?
>>16908650
you're not american?
makes a lot of sense
>>16908656
it's gross but we're all gross
get over yourself and fuck chad already
>>16908656
It depends on how severe it is
>>16908636
Red mit deinen Kamerden ein bisschen mehr. Solche Lebenswechsel sind gut um neue Kontakte zu knüpfen. Wenns nicht klappt, ist der zivildienst na eh nur ein jahr lang. zum verschmerzen.
>>16908644
women love it when you wake them from a deep sleep
There was this ugly girl from my work that had a crush on me... i used to text her at like 3am
>me: "Mona... I..."
>Mona: "What is it Anon??"
>me: "...nevermind. It's stupid."
lmao it was hilarious, shed beg for me to tell her what i was trying to say for the next fucking WEEK at work.
bet she stayed up all night wondering lol
>>16908667
>There was this ugly girl from my work that had a crush on me... i used to text her at like 3am
fucking cruel
stop breathing
>>16908667
Okay that is bad.
Don't do that. let her sleep.
>>16908648
I guess you are correct.
Still, I got no clue how you are even supposed to kiss someone romantically. The only kisses I have given and received are just light pecks and smooches that are given to cheeks.
And I don't think that kissing someone is bad. What I think is that trying to kiss someone who doesn't want to be kissed is not only awkward and embarrassing as fuck, and also very, very bad.
>>16908658
I am from northern europe.
>>16908667
>picture related.
>>16908656
Hmm, good question. As a guy with acne I find myself disgusting and reprehensible so with that logic I should think the same about everyone with acne but I feel like it's something I could look past, depending on the girl of course.
>>16908664
All I have is the German immersion course they gave me, but if I understood that at a cursory glance, I should hang out with other soldiers and it doesn't matter because the posting if just a few years. I feel a little better, I just need close friends. That'll come once I'm out of training, for sure.
>>16908680
>I am from northern europe.
then let her know you love her by introducing her to a rapefugee
>>16908667
"I'm sad :((("
"why femanon?"
"I don't wanna talk about it"
this is you. you are an annoying girl.
>>16908667
Oh i know that feel.
>kind of unattractive girl in my highschool class
>years later
>buddy sees her on my facebook
>shes not hot, but she got into anime and cosplay so shes kind of
>buddy says hed smash
>not on my watch
>drunk as shit text her at 2am
>dated her the next week
>>16908690
There are other countries in Northern Europe than just Sweden m8.
>mfw the rapefugees are leaving from here voluntarely in masses because they can't handle our winter and autismal culture.
>>16908676
>>16908679
its not that cruel, i at least gave her the d once
well it was more of a blowie, but she had fun, i didn't just leave her hanging
>>16908680
>Still, I got no clue how you are even supposed to kiss someone romantically. The only kisses I have given and received are just light pecks and smooches that are given to cheeks.
Remember when I said I fucked up my first kiss and it went okay? great even. Don't be afraid, you'll get the hang of it. Also stop trying to find excuses holy shit.
>And I don't think that kissing someone is bad. What I think is that trying to kiss someone who doesn't want to be kissed is not only awkward and embarrassing as fuck, and also very, very bad.
There's nothing bad about it. It's normal. If she doesn't want to kiss you well so be it. I had a girl reject the one attempt I did to kiss her, and I actually felt better for trying.
You seem to assume we know the shit we know because we're born good at it. We just started somewhere and y'know, went from there. You have to TRY.
Know what you want, get it, stop trying to find excuses.
>>16908697
oh then that's fine
>>16908695
I'm curious how well that one went.
>>16908696
Suomi mainittu! Perkele! Torilla tavataan...
>>16908701
Just bee urself.
>>16908689
Sorry, no idea you couldnt speak german. Basically, seize the oppertunity to make new contacts. Hell, thrive in it. Yyou will jot find a 'best friend'. Chances are youll never will in your life again. But it can be so much fun to be in the militRy. Think about it, never again in your life you will work with a group of people as diverse.
>>16908696
>>16908711
We went on one kind of cringey date since, turns out, we both are in loving relationships. What'd you expect?
>>16908701
I am not finding excuses, I am stating facts, one of them being that I got zero clue on how you even kiss a person on the mouth.
And I do not think that you people were born being good at this shit, however, assuming you started dating and experimenting around your early/mid teens (like most people to my understanding do), you have hell of a more experience than I do with the subject, and more importantly, you gained that experience at an age where being inexperienced is far, far more acceptable. A 14 year old fumbling a kiss in understandable. A 23 year old doing so, is far less, and because I don't know how she would react to such inexperience on my part, I am deadly afraid of displaying it outright.
>>16908715
How to be friends with an ex GF that takes the same uni classes as me 4 days of the week
>>16908725
>What'd you expect?
Some /jp/ tier autismal romance. I can dream can't I?
>>16908729
i lost my virgnity at 19 during a drunken party anon
we all start somewhere
>>16908736
Do you want to be friends with her or do you feel like you have to because of the circumstances?
>>16908729
Stop being a pussy. You are who you are. being aware and not ashamed of who you are and the experience you have is the thing to do.
There's nothing to learn. There's no crash course on how to kiss.
Just fucking do it. I'm starting to want to slap you in the face.
>>16908741
I really just want to be friends, we just broke up because no chemistry. So it wasn't an angry breakup
>>16908761
Go up to her and say you wanna be friends.
>>16908742
So what you're saying is that he just needs to bee himself?
>>16908781
Buzz of course. (I see what you're doing and loving it).
>>16907656
I'm a fat, sexually frustrated neckbeard. Chances are I'll probably rape some poor girl sooner or later, should I just kill myself for the good of mankind?
>just change your lifestyle and find a girl!
Tried that, lost a fuckton of weight over one and a half years, I was still just a creepy below-average looking guy, no chance to find someone else.
>you have issues, seek counselling
I've been in therapy for over 5 years now, 3 different doctors, none of which could help me. And the worst part is that I probably wouldn't even go to prison if I ever raped a girl because of my issues and history, they'd just send me into therapy again.
So, yeah, women, would you feel better knowing that someone like me admitted to being dangerous and that I decided to either get myself locked up or just killed myself?
>>16908791
Yes, do it.
>>16908742
Well, I guess if there is nothing else I can actually do.
I still fear rejection like hell though.
>>16908799
Yeah. like everyone.
Don't let it stop you.
I fingered my girl and she cum after few minutes.
the question is why on porn the girls squirt a lot, is fake?
When she came she get more wet, I mean a lot. Thanks for the answers.
Guys,
You all just need to be yourself. It works for me and it also should work for you.
>>16908812
squirting is real
most squirting in porn is not
most squirting in porn is that her vagoo gets filled with water and then she pushes it out
>>16907656
I have a collection of borderline-hentai manga, many of it has to do with SM (both physical and mental), and some other fetish stuff. I have no reason to lie on here, I don't masturbate to that kind of stuff. They're just incredibly deep and interesting stories and romantic as hell, sex is just a theme, a part of the story and a tool in these manga.
The problem is, some of them depict younger girls, not 10 or 12-year olds, but teens, 15-17. Teen-romance is a big theme in one of them. How creeped out would you be if you saw that while coming over to a guys place (I'm 20), and would you accept my explanation or just run off because it's creepy?
>>16908803
I'm blaming you if shit goes wrong though.
>>16908827
Why?
You talk to her, say you like her, that you want to go on a date with her, ask her out.
If she says no or is evasive it just means she didn't like you that way. Nothing is because of me.
>>16908823
>I have a collection of manga
you could have stopped there
justt hide it dude
>>16908831
I was joking m8.
>>16908817
"Just be yourself" is the advice people give when no one of significance has ever not liked them for who they are before.
>>16908799
I think you will feel alot better even after rejection, sure you will feel like shit if you get rejected. But your mind will clear up after a while, since you have an answer on a question that has been bugging you for a long time.
>>16908833
But wouldn't it become an issue later down the line? And why is it that much of a problem? Many guys collect comic books.
>>16908845
This is bullshit, I finally asked the girl of my dreams out 3 years ago, got rejected, we remained friends for another year then I just had enough, broke off all contact with her and all our friends and I've been living alone without any social contacts ever since. Which hurts like hell, but it's still better than seeing her every other day.
>>16908845
Who knows.
Things could be awkward here at the apartment complex though, as we see each other daily during weekdays.
Though, pondering on negative what ifs is not really that helpful. Hopefully she likes me.
>>16908848
>Many guys collect comic books.
and you collect porno mags
comic are shitty too btw
>>16908848
Hi. I'm a manga/comics collector. Love them. And all my exes and friends love that about me.
I never had any issues with it and as long as you can show that they have value and you're learning things from them instead of being an aspie you're okay.
Your stuff is kind of weird though. they're like porn books so, just like them, hide it.
>>16908858
You went overboard. What's bullshit is your reaction to try and make it work, only to break contact with everyone instead of just her.
>>16908866
>hiding doujin because some slut doesn't like them
stay cucked
>>16908864
>and you collect porno mags
They're not porn, they're borderline and they use sex as an element of the story.
>comic are shitty too btw
That's your opinion.
>>16908866
Why does everything that deals with sex and sexuality have to be porn? I'm pretty sure women don't hide their copy of 50 shades of gray or other "romance novels" that clearly describe or show sexual acts.
>>16908872
All of my friends were her friends too, we always hung out together, all the time. Breaking up contact with her automatically meant breaking up contact with everyone else.
>>16908858
Like I said it will hurt for a while, got mine heart broken also few times been there. U just cant face the truth, the confrontation. And like other anon said you went overboard.
The reason you still live with this pain is because you didnt move on, and you made it only harder for yourself to do so, since you cut of any social contact. Meaning u are on your own to solve the problem, no distraction from doing stuff with friends, or talk with a friend about that shit.
How do I convince my boyfriend to try nofap?
>>16908894
Whenever he gets the urge to masturbate, fuck him.
>>16908823
Not as creepy because you're 20, hide that shit once you hit 25. Mostly because it IS odd - do you have ZERO that don't depict sex? That's odd. It's not as if teen romance related manga doesn't exist otherwise.
>>16908884
50 shades is a book with no pictures.
Your stuff is graphic right? So it's like a porn magazine. Deal with it. Now you can just leave it there and not care if a girl is freaked out, or you can hide it in a place no one will look, like all men did with their porn mags before the Internet.
>>16908897
What about in a ldr?
Today I hung out with my friends and I wanted to see a girl who's friends with them (I've met her a few times before and she's really great). But she didn't show up because she argued with our friends a few moments before apparently.
Is it a bad idea to text her and ask her how she's doing? I mean considering we haven't texted much before since we aren't close and since she may still be mad because of them.
