So I've asked for advice from all of my friends and co-workers. So I figured I'd ask some strangers on the internet for some unbiased advice.
I started dating a girl I had known since high school. After our first official date she had told me she had broken up with her ex 4 months ago and wanted to remain single for a period of time; however, she was still interested in me and wanted to hangout with me some more. Take it slow. The weeks and bases go by and I finally hit home plate (get laid) and I think it's going great. That is until one night she gets plastered and sends a drunken text to her ex. She began to feel conflicted and didn't reply to my texts for a while. One night she tells me in person that she wants to spend some time alone and described our circumstance as "to be continued". She then starts talking about self respect or something like that and it's directed towards me. Probably because it didn't really faze me that she had sent a drunken text to her ex. It's been almost two weeks since that event and we haven't spoken to each other since. Interestingly enough, she still goes on Instagram and likes my photos late at night. Up until that night she wanted some alone time, she was really into me. She remembered all of the little details of my schedule and seemed to hang onto every word I said to her and just generally wanted to be around me. I pressume my main issue with this situation is who should break the silence first? Not a day goes by where I don't think about her because she's so close (she literally lives minutes walking distance away from me),yet so far.
At this point I'm open to dating other girls, but even though our "fling" if you will, only lasted a month I still have feelings for her.
My current plan is to not seek her out and see if she contacts me first. That way I can hold the cards so to speak. That'll only happen if she still has feelings for me as well.
I'm open to suggestions.
>>16886268
1. Break all contact with her
2. Masturbate twice so you can deal with it
3. Fuck bitches, get money, smoke trees.
She seems immature. If you can handle that go for it, it looks like she doesn't know what she wants.
>>16886546
>Immature: Very. She smokes a lot of weed because her sister works at a dispensary. Although she doesn't base her life on it. She's not YOLO 420.
>Doesn't know what she wants: Precisely. She actually told me this after our first date. I decided to give it a shot because I've never had a gf before.
I may sound stupid as fuck but I like her. Maybe it's because I lost my v-card to her, or perhaps it's because she's the complete opposite of me.
I feel like I grew up too fast and was always lost in books and actually got good grades and very introverted. Whereas she is the party type and is very extroverted, and not too educated, so to speak.
Maybe it's because in high school, she was one of the most popular girls, and I was the invisible nerd, and now 4 years after graduating, I had sex with her.
It could also be because we're both still very young (I'm 21, she's 22) and I'm looking for something serious, and it's beginning to look like she just wanted a fuck buddy after our first date.
I'm at a crossroads here.
I have the exact same thing going on as you OP. The feels are frustrating
>>16886268
make her jealous start pretending you interested in other girls, if she really wants to actually be with you then she'll try, if not, whats the point waiting for her to get back with her ex
>>16886545
This and
>>16886546
This
I think you are messing with your head and maybe overthinking your situation. Your situation is like an soundtrack you can't out of your head. There are other things, you can do and other girls you will meet and you will be like "yeah... That girl was great but I'm happy now, too. With my situation and people around me, I'm pretty fine."
>>16887070
I think I see your point. Pretty much stop idealizing what our relationship could be. Any way if she seeks me out, I'm willing to give her a second shot, but on my terms.
personally, if I were you, I would walk down to her place one night with some flowers, and just ask to talk with her, let her know how you feel and discuss what she wants her future with you to look like, and ask her to be brutally honest. By the end of the night you'll either have her for sure, or not at all. Either way you'll have closure and the end result will be the same but less painful or dragged out, or it will be better. She's liking your pictures late at night man, she wants you to do this. Do it.
>>16886268
If she is interested, she'll find a way to get ahold of you. If she isn't, then you'll have you answer when you don't talk to her anymore.
>>16887834
I've thought about it, but I think it's too soon for that.
>>16887937
That's what other girls I know told me. I think this would be the best course of action.
>>16888897
anyway, she doesn't sound stable enough te be in a serious relationship.
>>16888975
That's what irks me. She was with her ex for two years. So she can go steady. Maybe deep down she still has feelings for him and that's why she's conflicted. When we last spoke she made it very clear that she didn't want to get back with him.
>>16889216
To elaborate more. The reason she broke up with him was because he was too immature. She doesn't see the irony in that.
>>16886991
You just feel that way because you had sex with her. She ain't nothing special.
She seems like she needs to grow up a bit before you consider a serious relationship, but if you do want FWB then with a girl like this you need to do exactly what you are fucking doing right now.
Make sure she sees you hanging out with other girls on social media. That will get her wet for you like Niagra falls. She is one of those girls where if you are too available she will lose interest and wander away. If you always keep her on the brink of losing your attention she will beg for your cock constantly.
Use this time to have sex with her while you search for a more compatible relationship. Don't fall in love with her. Don't trust your emotions right now. It is easy to get confused when you are doing sexy time.
OP here. So what I got from this is definitely don't contact her first, try to make her a bit jealous to stoke the fire, and don't fall in love with her. Similar advice from my co-workers and friends. If they and you guys said it, I guess I'll do all of the above. Thanks anons. This has been an eye opening thread for me.
